JOHN 

CHINAMAN 

A 


E.H.PARKER 


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JOHN  CHINAMAN 

AND  A FEW  OTHERS 


• • , MSKCE,"  ETC.,  ETC,  . . . 


NEW  YORK 

E.  P.  DUTTO.N  AND  COMPANY 
1909 


PRINTED  BY 

HAZELL)  WATSON  AND  VINEV,  LD 
LONDON  AND  AYLESBURY 
ENGLAND. 


TO 

my  daughter 
MARY 


PREFACE  TO  THE  THIRD  EDITION 


IT  is  nearly  eight  years  since  “ China,”  “John  China- 
I man,”  and  “ China,  Past  and  Present  ” were  written. 

The  first  and  the  last  have  been  out  of  print  for  some 
time,  but  “ Honest  John,”  “ yielding  to  the  solicitations 
of  his  friends,”  survives  still  to  risk  a third  edition. 
Things  were  looking  particularly  black  for  China  in 
those  fin-de-siecle  days,  nor  had  British  and  Japanese 
interests  in  the  Far  East  a very  rosy  outlook.  It  was 
suggested  in  one  or  the  other  of  the  above  three  works 
that  an  alliance  with  Japan  was  our  best  policy,  and 
that,  at  any  rate,  she  would  never  allow  herself  to  be 
dished  by  a jealous  combination  again.  Also,  that  we 
should  endeavour  to  settle  our  numerous  differences 
with  France,  and,  through  her,  with  Russia,  in  an  equit- 
able spirit,  steering  clear  of  the  restless  aggressiveness 
manifested  in  other  quarters.  It  was  submitted  that 
the  ordinary  European  diplomat  was  out  of  his  element 
in  the  Far  East,  and  that  the  British  Foreign  Ofifice 
should  do  more  to  encourage  and  utilise  the  consular 
element.  As  to  Chinese  finances,  the  services  of  a 

V 


VI 


PREFACE 


second  Lord  Cromer  were  described  as  being  necessary 
in  order  to  bring  about  re-organisation.  Reform  in 
the  army  was  pleaded  for,  and  special  stress  was  laid 
upon  the  innate  capabilities  of  the  Chinese  soldier. 
Full  particulars  were  given  of  all  dynastic  entangle- 
ments, and  it  was  insisted  that  amongst  the  most 
urgent  necessities  was  the  abolition  of  class  distinctions 
between  the  Chinese  and  Manchus,  besides  the  gradual 
extinction  of  the  “ Peking  Contingent  ” and  other  drains 
for  the  nourishment  of  idle  Bannermen  at  the  capital 
and  in  the  provinces.  At  that  time  Yiian  Shf-k‘ai  (to 
whom  a special  chapter  was  devoted)  was  nobody  in 
particular,  and  had  barely  emerged  from  his  capitis 
diminutio  in  connection  with  the  Japano-Chinese  war. 
By  the  time  the  second  edition  of  “John  Chinaman” 
had  been  called  for,  however,  Europe  was  congratulated 
on  the  fact  that  Yiian  Shl-k‘ai,  as  well  as  Japan,  had 
secured  their  rightful  places  in  the  world  of  statesman- 
ship. Black  though  things  had  been  looking  for  China 
in  Manchuria,  it  was  pointed  out  that  China  had  several 
times  emerged  unscathed  from  almost  exactly  similar 
difficulties  before,  and  that  the  feeling  of  bitter  resent- 
ment at  European  aggression  in  China  and  Japan 
might  have  rueful  results  at  no  very  distant  period, 
and  more  especially  for  Russia,  France,  and  Germany. 

Of  course,  this  purely  academic  “ plan  of  campaign,” 
as  is  now  the  fashion  of  the  day,  had  its  “ coincidences,” 
even  though  the  rival  “ aphorisms  ” only  shone  forth  in 


PREFACE 


vii 

the  archives  of  distinguished  publishers ; and  therefore 
no  claim  is  made  on  the  ground  of  coincidence  to  the 
wisdom  of  prophecy.  “ John  Chinaman  ” was  originally 
intended  to  create  a human  sympathy  for  the  still 
mysterious  Chinese ; and  to  show  that,  after  all,  they 
were  in  the  main  creatures  exactly  like  ourselves, 
actuated  by  their  own  ideas  of  real  honour,  real  kind- 
ness, real  fidelity,  and  real  affection : the  book  was 
also  intended  in  part  as  a reply  to  those  critics  who 
had  complained  of  the  general  unreadability  of  all 
purely  serious  treatment  of  Chinese  affairs.  I am 
proud  to  say  that  several  scientific  and  professional 
men  personally  unknown  to  me  have  written  to  thank 
me  for  having  contributed  a mite  to  the  gaiety  of 
nations  in  publishing  “ John  Chinaman  ” ; and  I have 
reason  to  believe  that  at  feast  one  of  them  uses  it  as 
Darwin  is  stated  to  have  used  Mark  Twain’s  “ Innocents 
Abroad,” — as  a means  of  securing  sleep  in  a jolly  frame 
cf  mind  when  he  feels  overwrought. 

E.  H.  PARKER. 


November,  1908. 


b 


PREFACE  TO  THE  SECOND  EDITION 


HANKS  to  amiable  critics,  I am  able  to  intro- 


duce an  edition  more  accessible  than  its  pre- 
decessor to  many  who  have  expressed  a desire  to 
honour  it  with  a permanent  place  in  their  own  homes  ; 
and,  perhaps  I ought  to  say,  at  a price  better  pro- 
portioned to  its  own  inconsiderable  merit  than  was 
the  case  with  the  first  edition.  No  change  has  been 
made  in  the  text — beyond  the  indispensable  correc- 
tion of  a few  inaccuracies.  Whether  I myself  am 
responsible  for  false  quantities,  doubtful  grammar, 
and  other  analogous  defects ; whether  the  publisher 
is  to  blame ; whether  the  reader  has  been  careless  ; 
or  whether  the  printer’s  brains  have  gone  a-wool- 
gathering, — all  this,  like  the  Bank  of  England  ink, 
is  a matter  of  professional  secrecy,  which  ought  to 
go  down  with  the  knowing  ones  to  the  grave.  Wild 
horses  shall  never  tear  disclosures  from  me,  even 
though  the  others  be  induced  under  mental  torture  to 
confess. 

I take  this  opportunity  of  congratulating  Europe 


IX 


X 


PREFACE 


upon  its  improved  attitude  towards  “ Honest  John.” 
Within  the  past  few  months  the  capacity  of  Yiian 
Shf-k'ai  has  been  amply  recognised.  Gallant  Japan  has 
secured  her  rightful  place.  Sir  Robert  Hart  has  received 
high  distinction  from  the  Empress-Dowager,  who  on 
her  part  has  bravely  “ faced  the  music.”  A competent 
financial  adviser  has  been  sent  out,  and  there  is  every 
prospect  of  likin  being  shortly  abolished.  Manchus 
can  now  intermarry  with  Chinese.  Education  is  coming 
to  the  fore.  Missionaries  have  brighter  prospects 
before  them.  And,  generally,  a feeling  that  it  is  better 
to  forgive — to  live  and  let  live — seems  to  be  taking 
possession  of  men’s  minds. 

E.  H.  PARKER. 


May,  1902. 


PREFACE 


SOME  books  have  been  likened  to  molehills : with- 
out being  exhaustive  treatises  on  the  work  to 
which  an  author  has  devoted  his  life,  they  serve  to 
show  the  direction  in  which  he  has  been  burrowing, 
and  the  soil  in  which  he  has  been  working.  Some 
such  character  I would  claim  for  the  reminiscences 
contained  in  the  following  pages.  It  will  be  observed 
that  humble  folk  are  throughout  placed  absolutely  on 
a footing  with  great  personages ; I,  for  one,  being  per- 
suaded that  the  lowly  are  just  as  interesting  company 
as  the  mighty.  In  fact,  a (since  then  very  distin- 
guished) diplomatist  once  said  to  me,  as  he  took 
the  air  upon  my  consular  verandah,  when  on  tour 
amongst  the  treaty  ports : — “ A celebrated  man  on 
a certain  occasion  repeated  in  my  hearing  the  old 
remark  that  the  world  would  be  positively  astounded 
if  it  only  knew  with  what  a very  small  amount  of 
capacity  and  ability  it  was  governed.”  To  this  I may 
add  as  a corollary  : — “ and  how  much  excellence  there 
is  to  be  found  in  obscure  persons  ” — such  as  I describe 


XI 


PREFACE 


xii 

here ; to  one  of  whom,  I may  say  with  gratitude, 
I owe  my  safety  if  not  my  life  two  or  three  times 
over:  I consequently  give  him  a place  of  prominence 
in  the  frontispiece.  It  will  also  be  noticed  that 
my  experiences  with  the  Chinese  have  always  had 
a Quixotic  tinge  about  them  ; that  is  to  say,  that 
I have  had  to  socorrer  viudas,  enderezar  tuertos,  and 
remediar  agravios  as  often  for  Frenchmen,  Germans, 
Russians,  Italians,  Danes,  Americans,  Portuguese, 
Spaniards,  and  Chinese  as  for  British  subjects  ; having 
el  buen  Sancho  always  at  my  heel : it  would  almost 
look  as  though  I had  gone  through  a career  with  the 
coat-tails  provokingly  trailing  under  the  nose  of  every 
man  armed  with  a buckthorn,  and  always  spoiling  for 
a fight.  Ten  years  after  making  the  above  remark, 
the  same  distinguished  diplomatist  wrote  to  me  : — 
‘‘  The  more  rows  you  are  in,  the  better  for  you,  so 
long  as  you  don’t  cause  them  yourself  ” ; and  this  is 
also  true, — subject,  however,  again,  to  a slight  addition  : 
■“  and  so  long  as  the  game  is  played  squarely.” 

But  the  main  object  is  not  to  describe  my  own 
doings  ; it  is  to  illustrate  Chinese  character  by  means 
of  concrete  examples,  docketed  and  dated  so  that 
they  can  be  verified,  either  by  reference  to  the  persons 
mentioned,  or  to  the  archives  of  the  countries  named. 
To  the  best  of  my  powers,  I relate  nothing  but 
what  is  true  ; what  I have  seen  with  my  own  eyes, 
heard  with  my  own  ears,  or  searched  out  with  my 


PREFACE 


xiii 

own  brains  (or  what  does  duty  for  brains) ; and  it  is 
quite  impossible,  therefore,  for  me  to  draw  convincing 
life-pictures  unless  I introduce  the  tertium  quid  of  my 
own  personality,  which  must  consequently  be  always 
regarded  simply  as  a mere  peg  whereon  to  hang  a 
tale.  What  I wish  particularly  to  point  out  is  that, 
shifty  and  crafty  though  Chinese  officials  may  be, 
they  have  never  been  impenetrable  to  “ suasion,”  so 
far  as  my  personal  experience  goes ; and  have  never 
failed  in  the  end  to  settle  any  case,  however  long 
pending.  Also  that,  hostile  though  the  ignorant 
Chinese  people  may  often  be,  I have  never  found  them 
inaccessible  to  “chaff”  or  reason;  nor  have  they  ever 
actually  injured  my  person,  or  any  individual  whom 
chance  may  have  placed  under  my  protection,  however 
near  they  may  have  come  to  the  point  of  violence. 
To  the  best  of  my  recollection,  I have  never  had 
to  dismiss  a Chinese  servant,  either  private  or  public  ; 
nor  have  I ever  found  it  indispensable  to  punish, 
humiliate,  or  crush.  Possibly  self-consciousness  of 
many  imperfections  may  have  instinctively  caused 
me  to  refrain  from  too  readily  condemning  others  ; 
but  whatever  the  inner  inwardness  of  it  may  be,  the 
facts  are,  I believe,  strictly  as  stated. 

I do  not  say  the  Chinese  are  very  nice  people  to  live 
amongst ; in  fact,  odi  profanuni  vulgus  et  arceo  was 
always  my  feeling  towards  them.  Yet  I have  always 
met  them  in  a tolerant  spirit  of  equality,  and  possibly 


XIV 


PREFACE 


that  is  partly  why  I survive  to  state  the  circumstances 
of  it  all. — Nor,  on  the  other  hand,  do  I deftly  insinuate 
that  my  methods  have  always  been  good  methods,  or 
my  judgment  a sounder  one  than  others’  judgment : but 
in  the  firm  belief  that  the  public,  as  a body,  generally 
forms  its  conclusions  more  justly  than  locally  concerned 
individuals,  who  often  have  private  axes  of  their  own 
to  grind,  I simply  leave  the  verdict  in  popular  hands. 

It  will  be  seen  that  a consular  officer’s  experiences, 
though  obscure,  may  yet  be  very  varied  ; and  that, 
although  he  cannot  pretend  to  such  services  as  are 
rendered  by  members  of  “ another  circle,”  he  still  finds 
occasional  opportunities  for  proffering  a useful  hand 
in  a humble  way.  If,  on  the  bare  retrospect  of  his 
experiences  among  the  Chinese,  a mere  hack,  so  to 
speak,  can  summon  up  such  various  recollections,  it 
may  be  well  imagined  what  a wealth  of  incident  the 
more  distinguished  members  of  the  same  service  might 
recall,  did  not  their  diffidence,  their  modesty,  or  their 
“diplomatic”  prudence  stand  in  the  way. 

I believe  with  Sir  Robert  Hart  that  in  attempting 
to  crush  the  Chinese  spirit  we  are  making  a great 
mistake,  for  which  we  shall  pay  dearly  in  the  future, 
— unless  we  stay  our  hand  in  time ; and  there  is  yet 
time.  I cannot  quite  follow,  and  therefore  am  unable  to 
agree  with,  all  the  sentimental  involutions  of  his  reason- 
ing, making  mental  allowance  for  the  fact  that  he  has 
been  too  practically  busy  for  forty  years  to  fall  in  at  once 


PREFACE 


XV 


with  the  conventional  style  of  mere  “ writing  fellows  ” ; 
but  none  the  less  it  appears  to  me  that  he  has  stood 
generously  forward  as  the  one  just  man  among  a mob  of 
degenerate  Christians.  “ This  was  the  noblest  Roman  of 
them  all,”  say  I,  It  is  just  seven  hundred  and  seventy- 
five  years  ago  since  the  ancestors  of  the  Manchus  {i.e. 
the  old  Manchus)  destroyed  the  Cathayan  power,  and 
then  took  the  southern  Chinese  capital  of  Pien  (modern 
K'ai-feng  Fu).  They  imposed  an  “ indemnity  of 
10,000,000  ounces  of  gold,  20,000,000  ‘ shoes  ’ of  silver, 
and  10,000,000  pieces  of  silk,”  which  is  about  the  sum 
the  united  Powers  are  now  trying  to  extract.  But  a 
century  later  the  Mongol  hordes  swept  both  these  same 
early  Manchus  in  the  East  and  also  the  early  Russians 
in  the  West  out  of  political  existence,  only  to  be  them- 
selves driven  away  by  pure  Chinese  one  hundred  and 
fifty  years  later.  This  is  but  one  solitary  instance  of  how 
the  Chinese  “ eels  get  used  to  skinning  ” ; and  I cannot 
help  thinking,  therefore,  that  we  Christians  have  not  only 
acted  foolishly,  uncharitably,  and  unjustly,  but  that  we 
are  rousing  a feeling  of  bitter  resentment  both  in  China 
and  Japan,  which  may  have  rueful  results  for  us  all  at 
no  very  distant  period  ; and  more  especially  for  Russia, 
France,  and  Germany : that  is  to  say,  unless  we  decide 
to  recognise  and  make  allowances  for  a human  nature 
which  is  to  all  essential  purposes  our  own. 


18,  Gambier  Terrace, 
Liverpool. 


E.  H.  PARKER. 


CONTENTS 


CHAPTER  I 

BIRTHS,  MARRIAGES,  AND  DEATHS 

PAGES 

An  Event  in  the  Snow  (January  17,  1878) — The  Captive  Girl  (1879) 

— The  Joys  of  Matrimony  (November,  1890) — Mrs.  Patrick  Fitz- 
patrick O’Toole  (1891) — Death  of  A-sz  (September  28,  1879) 

— Suicides  (1880,  1890) — The  Death  of  Ano’s  Brother  (May  19, 
1884) — Potted  Ancestors  (1870-8) 1-26 


CHAPTER  II 
THE  HAND  OF  GOD 

Cholera  at  Foochow  (September  6,  1877) — The  Great  Canton  Tornado 
(April  II,  1878) — Wang-erh  and  the  Cholera  (December,  1880) 

— A Celestial  Coincidence  (November  4,  1892)  . . 27-36 


CHAPTER  III 
THE  INNOCENTS  ABROAD 

Chinese  Washermen  (March  22,  1877) — The  Chinese  Diplomat  in 
Russia  (July,  1882) — Chinese  in  Sumatra  (June,  1888) — Chinese 
in  Australia  (August,  1888) — The  Chinaman  in  New  Zealand 
(October,  1888) — French  Chinamen  (1888,  1892,  1893) — The 
Chinaman  in  Hawaii  (November,  1888) — Don  Magnifico  (May, 
1893) — Chinese  Gamblers  (September,  1894)  . . , 37-61 

xvii 


CONTENTS 


xviii 


CHAPTER  IV 

KINGS,  POPES,  PREMIERS,  AND  PHILOSOPHERS 

PAGES 

The  Tsungli  Yamtn  (1869-71) — Wensiang  (June  28,  1871) — The 
Taoist  “Pope”  (September  10,  1880)— The  Philosopher  Cincius 
(October  15,  1881) — Chinese  Royalty  (July  10,  1891) — The 
Emperor  of  Annam  (January  30,  1892) — Chinamen  as  Princes 
(November,  1892) — Vae  Victis  (November  27,  1892) — The  Wild 
Kachyns  (February,  1893)—  His  Holiness  the  Pope  (January  27, 
1894) 62-89 


CHAPTER  V 

“ ROWS ’’—MISSIONARY  AND  OTHER 

A Row  with  Students  (November  22,  1872) — The  Caged  Warrior 
(December  15,  1877) — A “Missionary  Row”  (September  15, 

1880)  — Falling  He  Fell,  and  Falling  Emitted  a Thud  (July  3, 

1881)  — An  Extinguisher  at  Wenchow  (October,  1884) — A Nice 

Little  Family  Party  (October,  1884) — A Chinese  “Revolution” 
(January  25,  1886)  ........  90-123 


CHAPTER  VI 
PIRACIES  AND  MURDERS 

The  Piracy  of  the  Spark  (August  22,  1874) — A Piratical  Attack 
(February  19,  1884) — A Real  Murder  (November  17,  1886) — 

The  Great  Murder  Case  (March,  1890) — The  Great  Spanish 
Murder  Case  (August,  1889) — The  Piracy  of  the  Namoa 
(December,  1890) — Murder  Will  Out  (1892-3)  . . 124-142 


CONTENTS 


XIX 


CHAPTER  VII 

FOR  WAYS  THAT  ARE  DARK 

PACES 

The  Government  and  the  Pickpocket  (May,  1871) — The  Dishonest 
Postman  (November  4,  1874) — The  Thief  on  the  Roof  (1878) 

— An  Unsolved  Mystery  (March  9-19,  1880) — Another  Dishonest 
Postman  (June  2 — July  6,  1880) — The  Head  Thief  (December  25, 
1880) — Who  Steals  my  Purse  Steals  Trash  (April  15,  1881)  143-162 


CHAPTER  VIII 

VICEROYS  AND  GOVERNORS 

Li  Hung-chang  (1871-72) — The  Governor  Hii  Ying-hung  (1872) — 

The  Viceroy  Jweilin  (September,  1874) — The  Viceroy  Yinghan 
(March,  1875) — The  Viceroy  Liu  K'un-yih  (1878-9) — Yuan  Shi- 
k'ai  (1885-6) 163-179 


CHAPTER  IX 

RELIGION  AND  MISSIONARIES 

A Chinese  Convert  (1871-2,  1885-6) — Mussulmans  in  China  (1869, 
1881) — Saul!  Saul  I why  persecutest  thou  Me?  (1878-9) — A 
Narrow  Escape  (October  21 — November  28,  1885) — The  Seed  of 
the  Church  (February  19,  1881  ; February  ii,  1887) — Father 
Cadoux  (1888,  1892-3)— Roman  Catholic  Education  (1884-5, 
1888,  1892-3) — Pagan  Christians  (May  20,  1893)  . . 180-204 


CHAPTER  X 
H U M ANITAS 

Chinese  Teachers  (1867-8)— Old  Ow  (1874-5,  1878-9) — “Full  of 
Strange  Oaths”  (1879) — A Chinese  Barrister  (1876) — Old  Lu 
(1874-5,  1878-80;  January,  1891)— Doctor  Wong  (1874-5,  1878) 

— The  Chinese  Lettri  (1884) — Chinese  Poetry  (1879,  1900)  205-228 


XX 


CONTENTS 


CHAPTER  XI 
ARMY  AND  NAVY 

PAGES 

The  Chinese  Army  (October  30,  1870) — A Warrior  in  Trouble 
(October  27,  187S) — A Gallant  Admiral  (November  17,  1880) 

—A  Soldier  of  the  Old  School  (1880-1) — The  Chinese  Navy 
(May,  1890) — An  Instigator  of  Rebellion  (February,  1893) — 
Captain  Ch'en  (1893-4) — Admiral  Ting  (July  4,  1885  ; May  8, 
1890)— A Corean  Admiral  (May  16,  1885) — Captain  Teng  (July, 

1885 — ^January,  1886)— A more  than  Royal  Salute  (August  27, 
1886) 229-262 


CHAPTER  XII 
PSEUDO-CFIINAMEN 

The  Jlurderous  Mongol  (November  ii,  1869) — The  Miao-tsz  (1881) — 

The  Corean  Mafu  (1885-6) — The  Grave  of  Empire  (March  16, 
1888) — Joseph  the  Sinner  (1892) — An  Annamese  Noble  (January, 
1892) — Sic  Transit  Gloria  (April  29,  1888)  ...  263-281 


CHAPTER  XIII 

DISTINGUISHED  FOREIGNERS 

Chinese  Processions  (November  2,  1870) — Sir  E.  B.  Malet  among 
the  Likm  and  Philology  Men  (September  11-13  and  17-20,  1872) 

— Archdeacon  Gray  (1874-5,  1878) — Sir  Samuel  Baker,  Pasha 
(September  4,  1880) — An  Imperial  Ambassador  (April  7,  1881)  — 
How  the  Chinese  Telegraphs  Used  to  Work  (December,  1886)  282-303 


CHAPTER  XIV 
RAISING  THE  WIND 

Chang-erh’s  Winnings  (1878)— Hongkong  Salt-smugglers  (July  17 — 
August  23,  1878) — A Scandalous  Squeeze  (September  20 — 
October  ii,  1878) — Who’ll  Buy  My  Gingham?  (May  12,  1881) — 
There’s  Money  in  It  (1881)— The  Salt-smuggler  (1873,  1883)  304-321 


CONTENTS 


XXJ 


CHAPTER  XV 

POLICE  AND  THEIR  MASTERS 

PAGES 

The  Manchu  Agent- Provocateur  (June  8,  1880) — The  Vagabond 
Escort  (June,  1881) — My  Escort  (October,  1881)— The  Big 
7" ing-ch'ai  and  the  Small  P ing-cKc.i  (October  i,  1884) — Tit- 
for-Tat  (March  21,  1891) — The  Taotai  Chu  (1891-3) — ^A  Trucu- 
lent 0£5cial  (July  4-16,  1893)  .•••••  322-343 


CHAPTER  XVI 
PERSONAL 

Chang-erh  (1869-94) — A Dangerous  Outing  (May  13-14,  1872)— 

The  Barber’s  “ Pidjin”  (1879) — And  He  Went  for  that  Heathen 
Chinee  (1881) — Chang-erh’s  Villainy  (1885) — That  Straight  Heart 
(1S90)  344-359 


LIST  OF  ILLUSTRATIONS 


CHANG-^RH  *••••••••  Frontispiece 

THE  CAPTIVE  GIRL  AND  HER  FRIEND  ....  Facing  p.  6 


PEI  yin-s£n’s  arsenal  students  and  their  instruc- 
tor, MR.  BREVVITT- TAYLOR 

yy 

20 

THE  OLD  JESUIT  INSTRUMENTS  OF  THE  ASTRONOMICAL 
BOARD  (taken  BY  GERMANY)  {Wustrates  Eclipses)  . 

>9 

yy 

36 

TUNG  SUN  THE  POET,  WITH  HIS  TWO  CHINESE  COL- 
LEAGUES, 1871 

a 

yy 

62 

THE  KING  (“  EMPEROR  ")  OF  ANNA.M 

a 

yy 

76 

TOMB  (NANKING)  OF  THE  FOUNDER  (1368-98)  OF  THE 
MING  DYNASTY  (VISITED  FROM  CHINKIANG) 

yy 

yy 

94 

LOOKING  DOWN  THE  CANTON  RIVER 

yy 

yy 

98 

PAGODA  FROM  WHICH  A-NO  FELL  .... 

y y 

yy 

II2 

THE  KING  (now  “EMPEROR”)  OF  COREA 

yy 

yy 

122 

PAGODA  ISLAND,  FOOCHOW  RIVER  .... 

yy 

yy 

132 

THE  BHAMO  “CHINA  STREET”  AND  BARBER’S  SHOP 

y y 

yy 

140 

HIS  EXCELLENCY  THE  VICEROY  LIU  k'uN-YIH 

>> 

yy 

174 

THE  LATE  TAI-WON-KUN,  FATHER  OF  THE  KING 
COREA  

OF 

yy 

yy 

178 

ONE  OF  THE  SHANGHAI  JESUITS’  ORPHANAGES 

yy 

yy 

198 

“old  OW”  and  HON.  J.  STEWART-LOCKHART 

yy 

yy 

208 

A student’s  UP-COUNTRY  RETREAT  . . . 

yy 

yy 

216 

XiX 


XX 


LIST  OF  ILLUSTRATIONS 


THE  NINGPO  TEACHER  AND  THE  LITTLE  T'lNG-CH'AI  . Facing  p.  224 

THE  BRITISH  CAMP  AT  BHAMO ..  244 

INTERIOR  OF  THE  TOMB  (NEAR  PEKING)  OF  THE  CHINESE 
MING  EMPEROR  YUNG-LOH,  I4O2-24  (Illu$trales 
Annamese  tomb)  ••••••  1 • it  >>  272 


THE  INTERIOR  OF  THE  TARTAR  GENERAL’S  YAMEN  AT 

CANTON  {Illustrates  Amtamese  reception-room)  . • tt  it  276 

CREEK  DIVIDING  JOHORE  FROM  SINGAPORE  . . • „ „ 2S0 

THE  VICEROY  OF  CANTON  IN  HIS  SEDAN-CHAIR 

{Illustrates  Processions)  • • • • . • >>  >i  284 

THE  COREAN  HEIR- APPARENT tt  tt  300 

A FAVOURITE  WALK  WITHIN  THE  WALLS  OF  WENCHOW 

CITY ,,332 


I am  indebted  for  photographs  to  Mrs.  Cave-Thomas,  Mr.  George 
Hardy,  Rev.  E.  Chargeboeuf  (Alissions  Elrattgeres),  His  Excellency 
Charles  Waeber,  Rev.  A.  J.  Colombel,  S.J.,  Mr.  J.  Thomson, 
Professor  E.  Chavannes,  His  Excellency  Liu  K'un-yih,  Captain  Ballantine, 
Prince  Hassan,  Hon.  J.  Stewart  Lockhart,  etc.,  etc.  ; but  it  has  only 
been  found  possible  to  utilise  a tithe  of  those  kindly  supplied. 


JOHN  CHINAMAN 


CHAPTER  I 

BIRTHS,  MARRIAGES,  AND  DEATHS 

AN  EVENT  IN  THE  SNOW 
HE  winter  of  1877-8  was  unusually  bitter. 


Every  room  in  the  Consulate  had  double 
windows,  in  the  Bohemian  fashion  ; the  ground  was 
covered  with  snow  for  weeks  at  a time,  and  on  a 
windy  day  it  was  hard  to  keep  warm  in  the  room, 
even  with  a big  coal  fire  burning.  Yet  this  was 
the  year  of  the  great  Shan  Si  famine,  and  millions 
of  peasants  perished  monthly  from  sheer  want  of 
food.  The  neighbouring  provinces  were  invaded  by 
endless  troops  of  starving  people.  More  especially  so 
was  the  neighbourhood  of  Chink iang ; I suppose 
because  all  roads  from  the  north  lead  thither.  I 
used  to  meet  refugee  families  daily,  as  I took  my 
walks.  If  the  father  had  any  shoes  left,  he  would 
be  shuffling  along  with  a wisp  of  straw  in  them,  or 


I 


2 BIRTHS,  MARRIAGES,  AND  DEATHS 


with  old  swathes  tied  about  his  leg,  and  round 
the  fragments  of  the  shapeless  shoes.  Sometimes  he 
would  have  a couple  of  babies  in  one  basket,  and 
a favourite  little  dog  or  a bird-cage  or  some  clothes 
in  the  other ; and  if  he  had  strength,  would  carry 
them  all  slung  to  a pole  over  his  shoulders : other- 
wise they  walked  a bit,  or  a neighbour  lent  a hand. 
The  mother,  with  lank  cheeks,  stumpy  feet,  and 
bedraggled  hair,  w'ould  limp  wearily  in  the  rear ; 
perhaps  the  grandparents  too.  Occasionally  they 
would  have  an  old  wheelbarrow,  or  a few  sticks  of 
furniture  ; but  they  were  all  alike  gaunt  and  hungry. 
Yet  never  a word  of  anger  or  a movement  of 
violence : they  all  wore  the  patient,  obstinate  look 
of  camels  or  sheep.  Of  course  they  begged,  and 
often  whined ; but  they  were  as  ready  to  chaff  if 
they  got  nothing  as  they  were  to  grovel  with  grati- 
tude for  food  or  money.  Silver  coins  were  of  little 
use,  scarcely  known  to  most  of  them,  and  in  any 
case  unchangeable  for  the  moment,  and  much  too 
valuable : one-fiftieth  of  a penny  was  enough  to 
buy  a coarse  meal.  The  authorities  had  provided 
thousands  of  mat  hovels,  on  the  walls,  outside  the 
walls — anywhere,  so  long  as  private  rights  were  not 
invaded,  and  shelter  from  the  wind  was  obtainable. 
Skilly  was  served  out  gratis  twice  a day.  Every 
morning  I saw  dead  bodies  lying  about ; but  this 
one  can  see  any  day  on  the  Beggars’  Bridge  of 
Peking,  and  in  China  it  strikes  no  horror  into  the 


A FAMINE-STRICKEN  MOTHER 


3 


imagination.  I suppose  there  were  from  fifty  thou- 
sand to  one  hundred  thousand  refugees  congregated 
about  Chinkiang,  over  and  above  the  fifty  thousand 
regular  inhabitants  inside.  At  that  time  the  city 
was  still  half  in  ruins,  and  had  barely  got  on  its 
imperialist  legs  again  since  the  recapture  of  1857 
from  the  Taipings.  On  January  9,  I remember,  the 
thermometer  went  down  to  11“  Fahrenheit,  and,  I 
presume  from  general  recollection,  remained  at  pretty 
near  that  figure  for  the  best  part  of  a month  after. 

One  afternoon,  at  about  four,  I was  rapidly 
threading  my  way  amongst  the  refugees,  who  were 
huddling  together  in  the  snow  under  any  scrap  of 
shelter  they  could  find  about  the  roads,  when  I 
saw  a woman  of  about  thirty  sitting  alone,  bolt 
upright,  on  a hank  of  straw.  She  wore  the  usual 
blue  cotton  wadded  coat ; her  face  was  covered  with 
tears  and  mud  ; her  nice  black  oily  chignon  had 
gone  to  smithereens  long  ago,  and  the  clotted  hair 
filled  with  sand  was  flying  about  in  the  wind  over 
her  shoulders.  There  is  a Chinese  poetical  saying  : 
“ Approach  the  tub  and  sit  in  the  straw,”  which 
means  “ to  be  confined  ” : it  ran  through  my  head 
at  that  moment.  A good-natured,  fat  woman  from 
a small  eating-house  just  then  stepped  out  with  a 
big  bowl  of  coarse  soup,  smoking  hot.  The  woman 
in  the  straw  was  swaying  herself  to  and  fro  and 
groaning ; but  she  took  the  bowl  greedily,  and  at 
once  devoured  the  contents.  I went  on  with  my  walk 


4 BIRTHS,  MARRIAGES,  AND  DEATHS 


rather  sadly  inclined  ; but  there  was  no  necessity  for 
scepticism  or  surprise,  for  the  American  consul  had 
told  me  but  a day  or  two  ago  of  a similar  occurrence 
which  had  taken  place  whilst  he  passed  along  with 
his  wife,  just  outside  the  British  consulate.  In  about 
an  hour  I came  back  the  same  way,  and  the  woman 
was  still  there,  doing  the  best  she  could  to  wrap  up 
a small  object  in  her  bosom  with  rags,  wisps  of  straw, 
sticks,  and  bits  of  old  clothes.  She  was  now  quite 
cheerful,  and  had  a relieved  appearance.  I gave  her 
a ten-cent  piece,  and  asked  after  her  condition.  She 
was  quite  sprightly  enough  to  answer  questions,  and, 
to  judge  by  her  comparatively  unconcerned  manner, 
it  was  probably  not  the  first  time  she  had  found 
herself  in  a fix  of  the  kind.  Probably  she  slept 
there,  and  walked  on  next  morning  briskly. 

Archdeacon  Gray  of  Canton,  when  told  this  story 
some  months  later,  capped  it  with  another  anecdote, 
the  details  of  which,  however,  are  more  suitable  to 
The  Lancet  than  to  a character  sketch-book.  No 
“ medical  men  ” are  ever  needed  in  China  ; but  a class 
of  women  known  as  “ life-receivers  ” make  things  as 
comfortable  as  possible  for  the  patient  who  can  afford 
to  hire  their  assistance. 

THE  CAPTIVE  GIRL 

In  times  of  war,  pestilence,  and  famine,  the  kidnapping 
and  sale  of  children  becomes  very  prevalent  ; but  at 
all  times  and  in  all  places  it  is  more  or  less  in  vogue 


THE  TALE  OF  ONE  OUT  OF  MANY  5 


throughout  the  Empire.  It  is  not  easy  in  any  part  of 
China  to  question  any  but  the  boat-women  closely  : even 
poor  peasant  girls  and  shrivelled-up  old  women  think 
it  good  form  to  run  away  from  any  strange  man  who 
may  cross  their  field  ; not  to  say  from  any  foreigner. 
Sometimes,  however,  by  accident  one  comes  across  a 
woman  of  natural  frankness  and  common  sense,  just  as 
in  England  one  occasionally  meets  a “ lady,”  free  from 
affectation,  who  can  talk  in  a friendly  and  natural 
way  to  a pauper  or  rough  seaman.  In  the  wilds  of 
Hu  Peh,  for  instance,  I once  talked  with  a single 
woman  who  was  sole  and  absolute  mistress  of  a large 
inn.  Even  wives  of  the  first,  or  confarreatio^  class  are 
sometimes  bought  with  money  before  the  coinpotatio 
(as  the  Chinese  have  it)  takes  place.  One  of  the 
coemption  or  second  order  wives  once  told  me  the 
following  story.  (I  may  explain  that  I was  trying  to 
find  out  by  questioning  her  how  many  generations 
an  ignorant  woman  could  go  back). 

“ My  ancestors  were  Hakkas  [descendants  of  coloni 
from  the  north]  of  the  Sin-ning  hien  city  area,  on 
the  south  coast,  not  far  from  St.  John’s  Island,  where 
the  ‘ Potuki  joss-man  ’ [St.  Francis  Xavier]  died. 
During  the  Red-cap  [ = Taiping]  Rebellion  of  about 
the  sixth  Ham-fung  reign  [1856],  the  whole  place  was 
being  overrun  by  plundering  band.s,  and  the  people 
were  continually  crying,  ‘The  rebels  are  here.’  One 
day  my  mother  suddenly  began  collecting  a few  bangles 
and  valuables,  grabbed  me  by  the  arm,  and  ran  with 


6 BIRTHS,  MARRIAGES,  AND  DEATHS 


me  as  hard  as  she  could  up  the  mountain.  My  aunt 
took  another  direction.  Being  Hakkas,  of  course  we 
all  had  big  feet,  and  could  get  over  the  ground 
pretty  quickly.  We  soon  felt  very  hungry,  and  had 
a difficulty  in  finding  enough  to  satisfy  our  cravings 
that  night.  In  the  distance  we  could  see  through 
the  darkness  all  the  farms  in  our  neighbourhood  being 
burned.  I don’t  know  whether  my  mother  sold  me 
for  food,  or  whether  she  merely  placed  me  for  safety 
in  charge  of  two  men  of  our  acquaintance  ; but,  any 
way,  she  separated  from  me  after  a little  more 
wandering,  and  the  two  men  sold  me  for  a couple  of 
dollars  to  another  man  : then  I was  given  a good 
meal  and  taken  down  a stream  in  a small  boat  towards 
the  east,  where  at  a market-town  a man  offered  twenty 
dollars  for  me.  He  took  me  to  Macao,  where  I have 
since  lived  with  his  sister.  There  were  other  girls 
like  myself  there,  and  we  were  brought  up  to  call 
her  ‘ mother.’  She  was  always  very  kind  to  us,  taught 
us  sewing,  how  to  keep  clean,  how  to  preserve  the 
hair,  teeth,  health,  etc.,  to  cook,  keep  house,  and  so  on. 
There  are  plenty  of  such  places  in  Macao.  I have 
never  heard  of  any  single  member  of  my  own  family 
since,  and  should  not  have  remembered  the  above 
had  you  not  plied  me  with  suggestive  questions.  My 
‘ mother  ’ owned  a junk  which  used  to  trade  regularly 
with  Pakhoi  and  Annam.  The  custom  is  for  such  girls 
to  be  bred  up  at  Macao,  and  either  sold  for  two  hundred 
to  five  hundred  dollars  apiece  to  natives  or  foreigners 


THE  CAPTIVE  GIRL  AND  HER  FRIEND.  [To  face  p.  6. 


TENDER  MEMORIES 


7 


on  the  mainland  as  wives  of  the  second  class,  or  to 
be  let  out  as  such  on  the  hire  system — i.e.  the  master 
or  husband  pays  so  much  a month  until  the  price,  plus 
interest,  is  made  up  by  instalments.  Thus  he  is  not 
committed  if  he  is  disappointed.  If  we  can  coax  enough 
money  out  of  him,  we  can  buy  out  ourselves,  and  then 
either  resell  ourselves  to  him,  or  keep  the  instalments 
going  to  our  own  profit.  In  any  case,  the  ‘mother’ 
never  plays  us  false ; and,  as  you  see,  I am  now  here 
in  Macao  on  a visit  to  my  ‘ mother  ’ and  her  brother, 
although  I have  now  paid  her  the  whole  of  my 
original  price,  three  hundred  dollars,  and  am  free." 

I went  on  to  question  her  in  her  old  Hakka  dialect, 
which  she  had  nearly  forgotten,  and  tried  to  find  out 
exactly  from  whence  she  came,  so  that  I might  make 
enquiry  if  the  village  still  existed.  By  cudgelling 
her  memory,  she  began  to  recall  incidents  of  how  she 
used  to  help  her  father  to  plant  the  rice  ; how  the 
crops  were  alternated ; how  her  brothers  went  to 
school  in  the  ancestral  temple ; and  so  on.  But  when, 
pressed  by  questions,  she  came  to  talk  of  her  old  grand- 
father with  his  long  white  beard,  smoking  his  pipe  in 
the  porch,  and  dandling  her  on  his  knee  as  the  sun 
disappeared,  she  grew  dazed,  broke  down  utterly,  and 
could  never  be  induced  to  speak  of  her  old  home 
again.  Nothing  moves  a Chinaman  more  than  to 
talk  of  his  native  village  after  he  has  left  it  and  lost  it. 

’Tis  better  to  have  loved  and  lost 

Than  never  to  have  loved  at  all. 


8 BIRTHS,  MARRIAGES,  AND  DEATHS 


THE  JOYS  OF  MATRIMONY 

The  Cantonese  apply  the  irreverent  term  fan-fao  p'o, 
or  “ turned  over  on  the  other  side  wench,”  to  a widow 
who  marries  again  : it  is  not  considered  good  form, 
but  it  is  not  illegal ; and  one  highly  respectable  instance 
of  remarriage  was  once  brought  forcibly  under  my 
notice.  I had  “got  wind”  of  my  coming  transfer  to 
an  uncomfortable  port  (nearly  all  my  ports  were  the 
uncomfortable  ones),  when  one  day  Chang-erh  set  down 
the  soup  tureen  for  dinner  rather  defiantly,  and  said  : 
“ I have  had  an  offer  of  marriage.” 

“ Why,  I thought  you  told  me  you  had  a wife  living 
with  your  mother.” 

“ Yes,  I had  ; but  she  died  whilst  you  were  on  leave 
and  I was  in  Peking  last  year.” 

“ Well,  if  you  didn’t  bring  your  first  wife  to  live  with 
you,  what’s  the  use  of  marrying  a second  ? ” 

“ My  first  wife  was  a lunatic,  and  I never  had  any- 
thing to  do  with  her  after  the  ceremony.  I was  the 
simpleton  of  the  family,  and  my  parents  or  brothers 
took  advantage  of  it  to  trade  off  an  idiot  belonging 
to  some  rich  friends — that  was  over  twenty  years  ago. 
I have  no  children.  I want  to  be  respectable  now. 
You  are  always  scolding  me  about  gambling,  drinking, 
smoking,  and  other  vices ; but,  as  a matter  of  fact,  I 
am  only  a trifle  too  tender-hearted,  and  have  no  other 
defects.  It  is  for  your  own  honour  that  I should  get 
married.  Look  at  those  nuns  at  Wenchow,  and  those 


I WILL  FOOT  IT  WITH  MY  LORD  9 


Japanese  at  Chemulpho  ! What  time  I used  to  waste 
Now  I am  nearly  fifty,  and  want  to  be  respectable.” 

“ What  have  I got  to  do  with  it  ? I don’t  care  if 
you  have  fifty  wives,  so  long  as  my  work  is  done.” 
“Yes,  but  I want  to  borrow  seventeen  dollars;  and 
besides,  I want  to  keep  her  with  me.  There  is  plenty 
of  room  behind.” 

“ What  sort  of  feet  has  she  ? ” 

“ Small,  but  not  very ; and  moreover,  I am  going 
to  make  her  let  them  out.” 

“ Who  is  she  ? and  how  was  it  she  knew  of 
you  ? ” 

“She  lives  in  the  greengrocer’s  shop.  She  is  a 
Swatow  woman,  and  her  husband  was  a small  military 
mandarin  killed  by  the  French  at  the  battle  of 
Ma-mwi.  She  has  no  money,  and  she  had  vowed 
never  to  marry  again.  The  greengrocer  is  a Swatow 
man,  and  he  gave  her  rice,  and  allowed  her  to  occupy 
a corner  of  his  house.  I go  there  every  day  to  buy 
vegetables,  and  she  seems  to  have  been  struck  with 
my  appearance.  Messages  and  horoscopes  have  been 
interchanged.  She  says  she  does  not  ask  for  body- 
money,  but  she  only  owns  the  suit  she  wears  on  her 
back.  To  fit  her  out  in  a way  suited  to  your  dignity 
as  my  master ; to  hire  chairs  and  music,  give  a dinner, 
and  so  on,  will  cost  me  seventeen  dollars  ; and  as  I 
have  now  served  you  for  nearly  twenty  years,  I think 
you  might  bestow  this  sum.” 

“Well,  I don’t  mind  ; but  if  I go  anywhere  you 


lo  BIRTHS,  MARRIAGES,  AND  DEATHS 


will  have  to  come,  and  I can’t  have  my  business 
interfered  with  in  any  way.” 

“ So  far  from  that,  I shall  no  longer  go  out  in  the 
afternoons  ; it  will  be  for  the  further  safety  of  your 
house.  Besides,  she  can  patch  your  clothes  and  darn 
your  socks.” 

“ All  right  ; marry  away.  But,  mind ! I totally 
ignore  her  existence.  You  may  take  her  or  leave 
her ; but  if  I say  ‘ go,’  you  will  have  to  go.” 

“ I think  the  marriage  will  take  place  in  about 
three  weeks.” 

Not  many  days  had  elapsed  after  this  conversation 
when  the  anticipated  transfer  came. 

“ Boy  ! ” 

“ Dja  ” (a  borrowed  Manchu  term  for  “ yes  ”). 

“ In  two  weeks  I am  going  south  to  Hoihow  ; but  I 
must  first  go  north  to  Shanghai.  How  about  your 
wife  ? ” 

“ The  marriage  does  not  take  place  for  eight  days 
yet.” 

“Well,  you  must  change  the  date,  or  leave.  You 
know  what  I said.” 

“ This  is  exceedingly  awkward.  Everything  is  fixed. 
What  am  I to  do  ? The  guests  are  invited,  the  chair 
is  ordered.” 

“ I have  nothing  to  do  with  that-  I never  asked  you 
to  marry,  and  I am  not  going  to  have  women  standing 
in  my  way  ; you  must  come  or  leave.” 

Either  the  same  day  or  the  following,  Chang-erh 


“ONLY  A WOMAN’S  HAIR 


came  with  a buoyant  expression  and  announced  the 
following  arrangements.  The  marriage  was  to  take 
place  the  very  next  day  ; chair  and  feasts  were  to  be 
waived.  She  was  to  leave  in  charge  of  the  Swatow 
Guild  for  Hongkong,  and  stay  at  the  Swatow 
Guild  there  until  we  passed  through  from  Shanghai. 

The  next  day,  whilst  at  dinner,  I heard  a com- 
motion, and  (having  served  the  dinner  in  his  waiter’s 
attire)  in  walked  Chang-erh,  dressed  in  his  New 
Year’s  costume  of  yellow  silk  trousers,  pink  silk 
gaiters,  thick-soled  yellow  satin  shoes,  black  silk  skull- 
cap with  red  knob,  and  various  gorgeous  coats  and 
waistcoats  too  complicated  for  me  to  describe. 

“ Here  she  is,  old  sire  ! Give  the  old  sire  a 
kotow." 

In  walked  the  blushing  bride  (the  blushes  covered, 
however,  with  paint).  She  was  well  dressed  in  Swatow 
style,  of  which  I know  so  little  that  I cannot  at  all 
describe  it.  Any  way,  she  wore  a suit  of  neutral-tinted 
“ coat  and  bags,’’  with  a head-gear  of  unspeakable 
magnificence.  She  could  not  speak  any  dialect  in- 
telligible either  to  her  husband  or  myself,  but  both 
she  and  he  could  understand  Cantonese  ; and,  if  well 
“shouted  at,”  she  could  also  understand  the  drift  of 
“ mandarin.” 

The  arrangements  went  off  without  a hitch. 
She  was  duly  installed  at  Hoihow,  and  Chang-erh 
became  quite  a model  character.  Once  a year  only 
she  came  to  kotow  to  me. 


12  BIRTHS,  MARRIAGES,  AND  DEATHS 


One  fine  day  a fearful  event  occurred. 

“ Boy  ! ” 

“ Djar 

“ In  five  days  I leave  for  Burma.  In  forty-eight 
hours  all  my  effects  and  furniture  must  be  corded 
and  shipped  by  direct  steamer  to  Singapore.”  (The 
ship  measurement  was  over  twelve  tons.) 

“What,  Mientien  [ = Burma]?  Can  I take  my  wife  ? ” 
“You  know  what  I said.  I ignore  her  existence; 
but  of  course  I will  pay  for  her.” 

The  woman  was  a fearful  nuisance.  At  first  she  boldly 
went  “ deck  ” amongst  the  coolies.  Chang-erh  was  a 
most  attentive  husband,  and  the  first  officer  rigged  up 
a sort  of  canvas  screen  for  them  ; this  was  on  the 
P.  & O.  We  took  fifteen  hundred  coolies  from  Singa- 
pore to  Penang  in  a British  India  steamer,  and  as 
this  was  really  too  much  of  a good  thing  (especially 
as  half  the  coolies  were  Tamils),  I gave  Chang-erh  and 
his  wife  second-class  fare.  In  Burma  it  was  even 
worse  : no  Chinese  will  serve  as  menial  servants  there 
(except  northern  men  on  the  Bhamo  steamers),  and 
I had  to  leave  her  for  several  months  in  a Swatow 
man’s  hotel,  and  send  the  Chinese  writer  second-class 
with  her  by  train  to  Mandalay,  whence  by  steamer 
to  Bhamo,  where  she  was  a fixture  for  a year.  She 
earned  her  keep,  and  got  one  dollar  a month  for  darn- 
ing. She  was  so  respectable  that  one  of  the  missionary 
ladies  used  to  visit  her. — When  Chang-erh  died,  1 heard 
from  some  one  that  the  Swatow  Guild,  at  a place  on 


IRELAND,  IRELAND.  UBER  ALLES  ” 13 


the  Yangtsze  where  he  was  serving,  had  once  more 
taken  charge  of  her,  and  had  sent  her  home  to 
Swatow,  (1898). 


MRS.  PATRICK  FITZPATRICK  O’TOOLE. 

This  Chinese  lady  was  one  of  the  not  very  many  in 
the  Orient  who  had  succeeded  in  uniting  to  herself, 
by  what  we  in  Europe  hold  to  be  strictly  orthodox 
bonds,  her  liege  lord  and  master.  Very  many  others, 
of  all  European  nationalities,  both  in  the  place  where 
Mr.  O’Toole  was  by  me  discovered,  and  in  scores  of 
ports,  towns,  and  remote  regions  in  the  Far  East,  had 
followed,  and  still  follow,  the  conjugal  practices  found 
by  experience  so  suitable  to  surrounding  circumstances  ; 
the  only  difference  being  that  for  many  reasons  they 
prefer  to  limit  themselves  to  those  formalities  which, 
in  the  native  mind  and  under  Chinese  law,  suffice  for 
a legitimate  union,  with  rights  of  descent.  It  is  usually 
under  missionary  influence  that  the  husband  is  induced 
to  supcradd  earthly  ties  to  what  they  solemnly  assure 
him  is  already  a complete  marriage  in  Heaven  ; but 
the  Chinese  females  are  totally  indifferent  in  most 
instances  to  these  barbarian  refinements  of  thought, 
which  add  nothing  whatever  to  their  respectability  of 
status  amongst  their  own  friends,  or  to  the  comfort  of 
their  own  consciences. 

Mr.  O’Toole  was  an  old  public  servant,  originally 
of  moderate  if  not  humble  degree,  who  had  served 


14  BIRTHS,  MARRIAGES,  AND  DEATHS 


with  credit  in  the  early  days  of  Hongkong,  and 
drew  a pension.  To  supplement  this  exiguous  allow- 
ance, he  had  conceived  the  idea  of  becoming  a 
merchant  prince.  He  was  a fine,  portly  old  gentle- 
man, of  most  distinguished  bearing  when  I met  him 
at  Hoihow,  with  snow-white  hair  and  the  general 
appearance  of  a British  Governor ; or,  say,  a Brazilian 
Emperor.  His  jolly  Irish  wit  at  once  attracted  my 
respectful  attention,  and  as  he  was  the  head  of  the 
firm  of  “ Au-tu,”  or  the  “ Macao  Emporium,” — repre- 
senting the  sound  O’Too  (O’Toole  & Co.), — I thought 
myself  quite  justified  in  asking  him  to  dinner,  the  other 
guests  being  officials,  missionaries,  and  naval  officers. 
Mr.  O’Toole  had  preserved  from  the  wreck  of  past 
greatness  a good  dress  suit  ; he  kept  us  in  roars  of 
laughter,  and  was  voted  a complete  success ; — in  fact, 
he  was  the  guest  of  the  evening. 

I soon  learnt  that  his  business  in  transit-passes, 
kerosene  oil,  sugar,  and  pigs  was  really  carried  on 
by  his  Chinese  wife,  a shrill  and  determined  little 
woman,  who  carried  on  O’Toole  too.  Both  of  them 
were  staunch  Roman  Catholics,  and  consequently 
both  of  them  received  the  sanctions  of  the  worthy 
Portuguese  priests.  Fathers  Baptista  and  Diegues. 
Poor  Mrs.  O’Toole  worked  hard  to  keep  the  wolf 
from  the  door,  and,  being  a British  subject  by 
“ high-toned  ” marriage,  she  of  course  had  my  perfect 
sympathy.  But  times  and  progress  were  too  much 
for  her  : new  syndicates  swept  away  the  transit-pass 


WERE  I NOT  ALEXANDER 


15 


agencies  and  kerosene  profits.  Old  O’Toole  became 
practically  imbecile,  and  one  day  I incidentally  heard 
that  good  Father  Diegues  was  actually  stinting  himself 
of  his  meagre  allowance  in  order  to  keep  the  orthodox 
family  in  rice.  The  local  cemetery  was  a bleak  place 
to  lay  one’s  bones  in,  so  I arranged  with  Mrs.  O’Toole 
to  clear  out,  bag  and  baggage,  for  Hongkong,  where 
the  old  man  survived  as  a sort  of  local  Micawber  for 
another  year,  his  wife  remaining  true  to  the  last.  When 
I last  saw  him,  hanging  about  the  hotel  bar,  perfectly 
dapper  in  his  clean  white  shirt  and  tie,  he  asked  me  if 
I could  get  him  a post  as  “ adviser  ” to  (I  forget  what)  : — 
that  was  when  I was  myself  going  through  Hong- 
kong as  “ Adviser  to  Burma.” 

Father  Diegues’  behaviour  had  been  so  thoroughly 
admirable  that  I managed  to  obtain  some  compensa- 
tion for  him  from  the  Foreign  Office  people,  who, 
however,  misread  the  name  Diognes.  My  witty 
successor,  in  informing  me  of  this,  wrote : “ It  was 
absurd  of  the  Foreign  Office  to  think  of  Diogenes, 
for  even  they  must  have  known  that  no  Portuguese 
ever  saw  the  inside  of  a tub.” 

DEATH  OF  A-SZ 

“ Coolies  ” as  a body  in  China  (when  the  word  is 
taken  in  the  sense  of  menial  coolies  or  lower-house 
servants)  bear  the  same  relation  to  the  “ boy  ” that 
the  housemaids  and  kitchen-women  do  to  our  butler. 


i6  BIRTHS,  MARRIAGES,  AND  DEATHS 


They  come  only  indirectly  under  the  average  master’s 
eye,  and  are  liable  to  “ get  the  sack  ” if  the  “ boy  ” 
cannot  manage  quietly  along  with  them. 

In  this  state  of  human  affairs  I acquiesced,  subject, 
however,  to  the  following  limitations.  All  wages  were 
paid  to  each  recipient  by  myself,  and  if  the  recipient 
was  then  fool  enough  to  allow  himself  to  be  squeezed, 
I never  interfered.  All  employes  were  on  an  equal 
footing  of  justice  : the  coolies  might  accuse  each  other  ; 
the  writer,  or  the  “ boy,”  or  the  writer  might  accuse 
them  ; but  it  had  to  be  face  to  face,  or  in  writing. 

I was  no  enemy  of  gossip  ; but  when  the  “ boy  ” had 
entertained  me  with  an  interesting  story  of  how  the 
I'ing-ch^ai  had  murdered  his  wife,  accepted  bribes,  given 
me  away  to  the  mandarins,  and  smoked  opium  all 
night,  I simply  asked  : “ Well,  what  do  you  propose 
to  do  ? Do  you  wish  me  to  send  for  X.  and  ask 
him  if  this  is  all  true  ? ” Of  course  he  said  : “ Not 
for  worlds  ; but  I only  tell  you.” 

After  a few  years  it  became  a fixed  tradition  that 
no  backbiting  had  any  avail  ; but  of  course  the  coolies 
were  different  men  at  each  place,  for  few  coolies  can 
afford  to  leave  their  native  spot.  Yet  they  were 
nearly  all  the  same — sturdy,  swarthy,  patient,  indus- 
trious, inoffensive,  and  respectful  men.  So  soon  as 
they  found  they  had  “ rights,”  they  seemed  to  develop 
an  attitude  of  humble  gratitude  and  almost  surprised 
reverence.  I never  asked  for  a “ character  ” : if  they 
showed  me  one,  I read  it,  but  explained  that  the  good 


A GOOD  CHINAMAN 


17 


man  was  the  man  who  seemed  good  to  me,  and  that 
I wanted  no  one  else’s  opinion. 

I have  not  the  faintest  idea  who  A-sz  was,  or 
where  he  came  from.  Possibly  he  was  one  of  Sir 
Brooke  Robertson’s  old  retainers  ; but  any  way,  I found 
he  was  one  of  my  private  servants  when  {vide  infra) 
I took  possession  of  the  old  yainen  the  day  after  the 
tornado ; and  so  long  as  the  other  servants  arranged 
things  with  the  “ boy  ” without  friction,  I never  cared 
who  became  my  servant,  though  I never  allowed  any  one 
but  myself  to  dismiss.  But  A-sz  soon  struck  me  as 
being  an  exceptionally  good  man  ; he  always  “ wore  ” 
bare  feet ; rarely  spoke  within  my  hearing  ; knew  how 
to  disappear  when  I approached  ; was  never  late  with 
the  bath,  the  boots,  and  so  on  ; never  quarrelled  ; was 
not  obsequious ; and  could  stand  up  and  speak  like 
a man,  looking  me  in  the  face  with  his  big,  honest 
brown  eyes  whenever  I addressed  him. 

A-sz  means  “ Fourth,”  but  the  other  servants  all 
called  him  A-sz-ko,  or  “ Brother  Fourth,”  in  Chinese 
fashion.  I used  to  arrive  from  the  office  at  4.45  p.m., 
and  after  tea  go  for  a walk  till  6 or  6.30.  He  was 
always  punctual  with  the  tray,  and  having  once  been 
accidentally  surprised  by  me  carrying  a little  child  on 
his  shoulder  when  he  came  up  with  the  tea-things, 
and  finding  I did  not  make  any  adverse  remark,  he 
continued  to  do  so,  and  I got  into  the  habit  of 
bringing  home  a trifling  present  or  toy  every  day. 

Then  there  was  the  old  Hakka  woman  who  used 


2 


i8  BIRTHS,  MARRIAGES,  AND  DEATHS 


to  cut  the  grass.  She  had  a cottage  in  the  front  park, 
cultivated  a field  there,  and  lived  with  her  grandchildren. 
She  got  into  the  way  of  saluting  me,  too  ; so  that 
what  with  A-sz,  his  charge,  and  the  old  hag,  I gradually 
began  to  realise  how — 

Sweet  ’tis  to  know  there  is  an  eye  will  mark 

Our  coming,  and  grow  brighter  as  we  come. 

But  cholera  is  almost  endemic  inside  the  city,  and 
one  day  the  other  servants  told  me  A-sz  was  down 
with  it  His  wife  had  come  to  nurse  him,  and  they 
all  wanted  to  know  if  I would  mind  priests  being 
called  in.  For  safety  (their  own  safety,  for  I had 
at  least  twenty  retainers  of  all  kinds  in  the  .servants’ 
quarters)  they  had  moved  him  out,  and  set  him  down 
in  the  corridor  near  my  bedroom.  The  exorcising  of 
demons  kept  me  awake  all  one  night,  so  I slept  the 
next  on  the  Shamien  settlement.  Walking  home  at 
6 a.m.,  I found  a fearful  howling  and  banging  of 
instruments  going  on.  A-sz  was  dead,  and  of  course 
had  to  be  encoffined  at  once.  I naturally  paid  for 
the  coffin  with  all  speed,  and  for  the  further  priestly 
purifications  to  follow.  But  there  was  a gloom  in 
the  yavien  for  some  time,  and  it  was  interesting  to 
notice  what  an  affectionate  memory  A-sz  had  left 
behind  him. 


• ACTS  OF  “SHORT  SIGFIT” 


19 


SUICIDES 

Captain  Yankowsky  was  a fine  skipper,  and  belonged 
to  that  curious  group  of  foreigners  in  China  who  possess 
no  nationality.  But  that  is  neither  here  nor  there. 
Near  the  odious  town  of  Shasi,  one  afternoon,  he  and 
I were  discussing  the  affairs  of  the  world  in  general, 
and  of  Russia  in  particular,  when  the  steward  ran  in 
to  say : “ The  boy’s  overboard.”  In  this  instance  the 
word  “boy”  means  what  it  purports  to  mean,  and 
referred  to  a pretty  lad  of  sixteen  who  was  doing 
what  is  known  as  “ learn  pidgin  ” on  board.  The  other 
boys  (here  used  in  the  Pickwickian  sense)  had  been 
“chaffing”  him;  and  he  jumped  overboard,  with  all 
his  wadded  clothes  on,  simply  to  spite  them.  Naviga- 
tion amongst  the  shoals  was  intricate  and  dangerous, 
but,  with  a roar  of  sympathetic  fury,  good  Captain 
Yankowsky  was  up  on  the  bridge  in  an  instant;  a 
boat  was  manned  and  out  in  a minute  ; the  steamer 
was  stopped  and  allowed  to  drift  slowly  backwards; 
the  lad  was  fished  up  by  the  seat  of  his  trousers  just 
as  he  was  sinking  for  the  fourth  time,  put  to  bed, 
and  dosed  internally  and  externally  with  brandy. 
Next  day  he  was  waiting  at  table  as  usual. 

The  Imperial  Commissioner  P'ei  Yin-sen  at  the 
Ma-mwi  Arsenal  was  an  old  scholar  of  sixty,  and  a 
man  of  vice-regal  rank : he  ought  to  have  known 
better.  He  always  struck  me,  when  we  conversed 
together,  as  being  a trifle  moody.  He  it  was  who 


20  BIRTHS,  MARRIAGES,  AND  DEATHS 


reared  a temple  in  memory  of  the  brave  fellows  (my 
“boy’s”  wife’s  late  lamented  No.  i being  amongst 
the  number)  who  were  “ massacred  ” by  the  French 
at  the  great  naval  battue  of  1 884 ; and  he  composed  a 
learned  poem  on  the  subject,  which  poem  still  stands 
there,  carved  upon  imperishable  stone.  One  day  a 
friend  of  mine  rushed  in  to  announce  : “ I say,  the  Com- 
missioner has  just  tried  to  commit  suicide  : he  jumped 
off  the  slip  on  the  sly,  whilst  pretending  to  inspect  a 
steamer  now  under  repair  ; but  they  got  him  out  in 
time.”  He  had  on  several  occasions  applied  to  the 
Emperor  for  leave,  but  he  could  neither  get  leave  nor 
funds.  Hinc  illae  lachrymae  ; or,  more  strictly,  “ Hence 
this  wetting.”  Shortly  afterwards  he  got  his  leave, 
and  retired. 

When  I was  at  Chungking,  the  China  Inland  mis- 
sionaries used  to  “ save  ” opium  suicides  at  the  rate 
of  two  or  three  a week,  and  they  assured  me  that 
this  number  was  merely  a fraction  of  the  “ short- 
sighted ones”  (as  the  Chinese  call  them)  who  tried 
to  get  rid  of  themselves  in  that  one  ward  of  the  city. 
Only  a minority  cared  to  send  for  the  “ foreign  doctors.” 
Opium  is  cheap  and  easily  procurable  by  all  persons 
there.  Women  are  the  chief  delinquents  ; or  “ heroines,” 
as  they  often  imagine : it  only  needs  a harsh  word 
and  a fit  of  passion,  when  down  goes  half  an  ounce 
of  opium — a most  comfortable  death. 

It  will  be  noticed  (by  those  who  read  the  native 
newspapers,  I should  add)  that  the  recent  “ Boxer  ” 


El  yin-sen's  arsenal  STL’DENTS  and  their  instructor,  MR.  BREWITT-TAYLOR 


*T>  V- 


• N • 


k «k 


■-/ 


-ST  ^^4 ' 


ANOTHER  GENTLE  CHINAMAN 


21 


troubles  are  responsible  for  the  suicide  of  at  least  a 
score  of  prominent  statesmen.  In  some  cases  whole 
families  have  dived  head-foremost  into  wells  in  order 
to  share  the  master’s  disgrace  or  self-sacrifice.  In 
others  the  Emperor  has  “ bestowed  the  cord  ” ; which 
means  that  a man  sits  with  his  back  to  a panel,  and 
his  friends  strangle  him  through  two  holes.  So  far 
from  being  considered  a crime,  suicide  is  under  many 
circumstances  regarded  as  a noble  act ; rarely  as  a 
despicable  one,  unless  done  in  pure  spite,  or  out  of 
revenge.  A Chinese  amah  in  a fit  of  passion  once 
jumped  off  a P.  & O.  steamer,  carrying  in  her  arms 
the  child  of  an  English  lady  of  my  acquaintance : 
both  were  lost,  and  the  lady  never  smiled  again,  or 
allowed  her  remaining  child  out  of  sight. 


THE  DEATH  OF  A-NO’S  BROTHER 

One  day  at  Wenchow  my  big  “boy”  came  rushing  in 
and  said  in  his  usual  jerky  way : " A-no’s  younger 
brother  has  just  fallen  from  the  pagoda.”  The  pagoda 
in  question  belongs  to  the  temple  to  which  “ King 
Facfur  ” fled  from  Kublai  Khan,  and  stands  on  an 
island  in  the  river — one  of  Marco  Polo’s  “ islands  of  the 
ocean.”  A-no  had  been  my  predecessor’s  scavenger ; 
but  perceiving  that  he  had  a gentle,  honest  face,  I had 
made  him  my  house-coolie,  and  had  allowed  him  to 
pitchfork  his  brother  into  my  service  as  a gardener. 

“ What  was  he  doing  up  the  pagoda  ? ” 


22  BIRTHS,  MARRIAGES,  AND  DEATHS 


Gathering  edible  ferns.  He  fell  from  the  top  storey 
but  one,  thirty  feet,  flop  on  to  the  rock.” 

“ Did  you  send  him  up  there  ? ” (This  I asked,  at 
once  anticipating  a charge  of  “ murder,”  and  claims  for 
heavy  compensation.) 

“ No  ; he  went  up  yesterday  to  get  a bird’s  nest,  and 
seeing  the  ferns  there,  he  thought  he  would  have 
another  try.” 

I went  to  the  servants’  rooms  and  saw  the  youth,  a 
splendid  neat-limbed  lad  of  twenty,  lying  on  a mat, 
apparently  none  the  worse. 

“What’s  the  matter,  A-ti  [=  younger  brother]?” 

He  pointed  silently  to  his  stomach,  and  some  one 
said  : “ It  is  internal  injury  : we  have  sent  for  his  father.” 

I gave  orders  that  all  the  relatives  who  might  come 
should  be  lodged  and  fed  : at  two  o’clock  he  died,  in 
the  presence  of  his  friends.  As  I anticipated,  the  first 
question  they  asked  was : “ Did  the  consul  send  him 
up  ? ” But  after  that  theii  demeanour  was  silent  and 
respectful. 

The  river  rolled  rapidly  by,  flush  with  the  path  in 
front  of  my  house-door,  and  not  three  yards  from  my 
bedroom  verandah  above.  The  next  day  was  cold 
and  foggy,  as  I looked  out  in  early  morning  and  saw 
half  a dozen  Chinamen  clad  in  the  usual  Robinson 
Crusoe-like  rain-coats  fashioned  from  rush-leaves.  Theii 
boat  was  moored  in  front  of  the  Consulate,  and  a 
coffin,  covered  also  by  a sort  of  rush-leaf  awning,  was 
firmly  lashed  to  the  timbers.  No  tears  were  shed  ; no 


REVERENCE  FOR  THE  DEAD 


23 


noise ; no  emotion.  Chinamen  in  these  parts  row 
standing,  and  facing  the  prow.  In  they  all  got,  and 
suddenly,  as  they  moved  off,  a weird  dirge  was  struck 
up  in  time  with  the  oars,  of  a most  penetrating  and 
shrill  kind,  in  the  minor  key.  And  the  boat  gradually 
disappeared  into  the  fog,  the  funeral  song  travelling 
indistinctly  back  for  a long  time.  It  brought  to  mind 
the  pictures  of  a Viking’s  barge  emerging  from  a 
Norwegian  fiord,  and  bound  on  some  barbarous  cere- 
mony, such  as  conveying  the  body  of  a dead  chief. 


POTTED  ANCESTORS 

The  above  is  the  flippant  term  applied  by  foreigners 
to  certain  jars  met  with  in  some  parts  of  China,  and 
supposed  to  contain  either  the  bones  or  the  ashes  of 
crumbled  or  cremated  predecessors.  The  allusions 
made  by  Marco  Polo  to  “ burning  of  the  dead  ” are 
too  numerous  and  definite  to  permit  of  our  doubting 
that,  at  least  in  one  or  two  provinces,  cremation  was 
five  centuries  ago  much  more  common  than  it  is 
now.  On  June  9,  1870,  I myself  witnessed  the  funeral 
of  a priest  at  the  Ch'ang-an  Sz  monastery,  west  of 
Peking,  and  I actually  saw  a dead  bonze  burnt  in  the 
Honam  temple  of  Canton  ; but  I have  never  once 
heard,  or  read  in  history,  of  the  people  themselves 
“ burning  their  dead  ” ; on  the  contrary,  coffins  are 
spoken  of  throughout  the  whole  range  of  dynasties.  I 
have  mentioned,  under  the  heading  of  “ Cholera  at 


24  BIRTHS,  MARRIAGES,  AND  DEATHS 


Foochow,”  a case  where  I saw  bones  being  exhumed  ; 
and  “ pots  ” are  common  enough  at  Hongkong  and 
Shanghai.  The  whole  question  is  doubtful,  and  no 
one  has  yet  gone  thoroughly  into  it.  What  is  quite 
certain  is  that  the  remains  of  the  dead  are  every- 
where treated  with  extraordinary  veneration,  and  it  is 
extremely  dangerous  for  outsiders  to  meddle  in  such 
matters.  Coffins  are  kept  in  the  best  room  ready  for 
use ; corpses  inside  the  same  coffins  are  stowed  in  the 
atrium^  or  outside  in  the  porch,  awaiting  opportunity 
for  burial  ; and  others  lie  unburied,  half-buried,  tented, 
roofed,  or  swathed,  all  over  the  fields  outside  great 
towns.  Heavy  sums  are  paid  to  steamer  companies 
to  transport  coffins  containing  corpses  from  America 
or  the  South  Seas.  In  a word,  a dead  Chinaman  is 
a more  costly  object  than  a living  one. 

When  Chinkiang  began  to  recover  from  the  effects 
of  the  Great  Rebellion,  a “ settlement  ” was  marked  out. 
At  the  time  I arrived  there  in  1877,  the  municipality 
had  only  just  begun  to  excavate  and  make  a road 
for  walking  and  riding  a few  miles  by  way  of  exercise  ; 
and  in  so  doing  they  had,  or  their  native  contractors 
had,  carefully  left  untouched  a very  ancient  coffin,  of 
gigantic  size  and  worm-eaten  aspect,  fixed  in  the  clay 
right  in  the  centre  of  the  new  road,  like  a Norseman’s 
barge  set  down  plump  in  the  middle  of  Mansion 
House  Square.  No  record  remained  ; no  family  claimed 
it ; no  authority  durst  touch  it ; every  one  appealed 
to  everybody  else  to  get  rid  of  it.  Proclamations  were 


A DELICATE  MANOEUVRE 


25 


issued,  setting  forth  in  honeyed  terms  the  well-known 
veneration  of  the  authorities  for  human  bones,  but 
darkly  hinting  that  “ something  would  have  to  be  done 
soon  unless  something  was  done.”  There  was  an 
uneasy  feeling  that  the  wily  owner  was  “ sitting  tight  ” 
somewhere,  and  awaiting  the  chance  of  his  life  for 
a riot  and  compensation.  The  taotai  told  me  con- 
fidentially he  didn’t  care,  but  feared  a “row,”  and  that 
I might  do  what  I liked  so  long  as  his  name  did 
not  appear  in  the  business.  However,  when  he  saw 
signs  of  a sprightly  interpretation  of  his  words  by 
me,  he  subsequently  “weakened,”  and  issued  a second 
proclamation,  stating  that  I was  talking  of  removing 
it,  but  that  he  had  warned  me  not  to  stir  without 
the  consent  of  the  relatives.  On  this  I myself  issued 
a notice,  pointing  out  to  all  and  sundry  the  risk  of 
desecration  the  coffin  ran  in  its  present  position, 
and  “ authorising  the  remoter  branches  of  the  family  ” 
to  remove  it  at  once  without  “ sending  in  any  further 
petitions.”  The  next  step  was  to  arrange  with  one 
or  two  of  the  municipal  councillors,  who  were  willing 
themselves  to  incur  the  risk  on  the  understanding 
that  they  were  not  instructed  to  move  the  coffin,  but 
that,  if  they  were  successful  in  reburying  it  unobserved, 
the  authorities  would  ask  no  questions,  and  offer  no 
explanations  to  any  one  if  themselves  asked  questions. 

That  night  was  a stormy  one  ; naturally,  every  idle 
Chinaman  was  indoors.  The  howling  of  the  wind  and 
sleet  kept  me  uneasy  ; I could  not  help  thinking  of 


26  BIRTHS,  MARRIAGES,  AND  DEATHS 


coffins  and  riots  ; at  the  same  time  I felt  that  if  the 
municipality  possessed  the  smallest  gumption,  now  was 
their  chance.  I went  for  my  morning  stroll  earlier 
than  usual.  The  coffin  had  utterly  disappeared,  nor 
were  there  any  traces  of  sepulture  in  the  vicinity. 
A good  job  had  been  made  of  it,  and  the  venerable 
ark  had  been  carefully  transferred  to  a friendly  ditch, 
and  tightly  covered  up. 


CHAPTER  II 
THE  HAND  OF  GOD 

CHOLERA  AT  FOOCHOW 

IN  the  year  1877  P'occhovv  and  Pagoda  Anchorage 
suffered  severely  from  cholera  for  several  months  : 
the  leading  doctor  (Beaumont)  nearly  died  of  it,  and 
several  other  Europeans  actually  did  die.  At  Pagoda 
Anchorage  the  carpenters  were  unable  to  turn  out 
coffins  quickly  enough,  and  it  was  a daily  occurrence 
for  bodies  to  be  placed  outside  the  wall  of  the  vice- 
consulate, which  was  on  the  summit  of  a hill,  precipitous 
on  one  side.  A customs  gunboat  called  the  Feihoo 
was  in  port,  and  one  of  the  Chinese  seamen  or  quarter- 
masters was  suddenly  taken  ill  ; in  fact,  they  had  a 
dozen  cases  on  board,  but  this  particular  one  was 
regarded  as  good  for  an  hour  at  most.  I forget  how 
it  came  about  that  I was  consulted,  but  at  all  events 
it  was  arranged  by  Captain  Cocker  that  the  dying 
man  should  be  kept  apart,  behind  the  funnel.  China- 
men are  very  loth  to  handle  a cholera  patient,  and 
accordingly  they  reluctantly  and  hurriedly  dumped 
their  comrade  down  on  a sort  of  iron  grating  connected 


27 


28 


THE  HAND  OF  GOD 


with  the  funnel  and  the  engine-room  whilst  a coffin 
was  being  got  ready. 

In  taking  a constitutional  with  the  above-named 
English  commander  that  afternoon,  I casually  enquired 
where  the  man  had  been  buried,  for  I had  noticed 
with  uneasiness  half  a dozen  new  graves  within  a 
stone’s  throw  of  my  house. 

He  said  : “ Oh ! he  did  not  die  after  all ; he  seems 
to  have  had  it  boiled  out  of  him.” 

“ How  was  that  ? ” 

“ Oh ! the  fatigue  party  I sent  to  put  him  behind 
the  funnel  set  him  down  on  the  iron  cover  just  over  the 
furnaces  in  the  broiling  sun.  The  iron  was  almost 
red-hot,  and  he  rolled  off  after  about  half  an  hour  of 
it,  and  now  seems  none  the  worse  for  it.  We  have 
got  him  in  the  sick-bay,  and  he  seems  likely  to  recover.” 
The  man  was  as  well  as  ever  three  days  after  that. 
Twelve  years  later  I was  again  at  Pagoda  Anchorage, 
and  as  I passed  the  site  of  the  graves  I noticed  an 
old  man  whose  face  seemed  familiar.  I said:  “Well! 
carpenter,  is  that  you  ? ” 

“ Old  sire,  you  have  come  back.” 

“ Was  it  not  you  who  put  up  those  blinds  for 
me  in  the  third  year  of  Kwang-sii  ? ” 

“ It  was  I,  old  sire.” 

“ What  are  you  doing  there  ? ” 

“ I am  digging  up  these  bones  for  reburial.” 

“ Well,  I want  the  blinds  put  up  again : you  had 
better  make  a contract,  as  you  did  last  time.  ’ 


A NARROW  ESCAPE 


29 


In  an  hour  or  so  the  old  fellow  brought  his 
estimate  and  was  at  work.  It  seemed  as  if  we  had 
both  been  asleep,  like  Rip  Van  Winkle,  for  twelve 
years,  for  he  wore  exactly  the  same  old  ragged  coat 
and  “ pants.” 


THE  GREAT  CANTON  TORNADO 

I WAS  returning  by  steamer  on  April  ii,  1878, 
to  Canton,  after  an  absence  of  three  years.  It  was 
one  of  those  sultry  days  on  which  Dean  Swift  is 
recorded  to  have  yearned  to  take  off  his  flesh  and 
sit  in  his  bones.  Oh  ! how  I wished  I were  going  to 
be  No.  I instead  of  No.  2,  in  order  that  I might 
occupy  the  spacious  old  yavicn  in  the  city,  instead 
of  following  convention  in  a stuffy  dress  coat  of  an 
evening ! The  charm  of  the  yamen  was  that  you 
must  be  in  town  before  sunset. 

When  the  steamer  was  threading  its  way  past  the 
forest  of  boats  and  junks  which  line  the  lower  city, 
we  on  deck  observed  a dark,  whirling  curtain  looming 
ominously  from  the  south-west,  and  moving  over  the 
foreign  settlement  of  Shamien,  a mile  higher  up  ; as 
we  got  near,  it  looked  as  though  thousands  of  beer- 
bottles  and  gooseberry-bushes  were  taking  an  aerian 
holiday.  It  did  not  last  more  than  half  a minute, 
and  I thought,  as  it  moved  north-east,  it  must  be  a 
waterspout.  There  was  no  noise  ; but  the  junks  ahead 
appeared  to  be  taking  eccentric  dives  and  flights 


30 


THE  HAND  OF  GOD 


into  and  out  of  the  water,  out  of  mere  liveliness 
and  sport. 

Arrived  off  Shamien,  we  passengers  looked  hard 
at  our  houses,  as  though  puzzled  to  “ locate  ” each 
one.  “ Hello  ! Where’s  the  roof  of  our  house  ? ” 
asked  Mr.  F.  P.  Smith.  “ Why,  the  junks  are  all 
turned  upside  down  ! There  is  a big  tree  sticking 
root-foremost  into  Jardine’s  drawing-room  window ! ” 
The  Chinese  passengers  and  crew  all  shouted : “ the 
dragon  ! ” — a name  for  “ tornado,”  as  it  afterwards 
appeared. 

It  was  only  when  we  got  on  shore  that  we 
realised  what  had  taken  place.  A column  of  air, 
or  rather  of  minus-air,  sucking  up  everything  in  its 
way,  had  cut  like  a knife  straight  through  the  city  ; 
if  we  had  been  five  minutes  earlier,  our  steamer 
would  have  been  sucked  up  or  smashed  to  atoms 
too.  No  one  not  in  its  way  was  aware  that  any- 
thing had  gone  wrong  ; the  column  of  vapour  was 
only  about  one  hundred  and  seventy-five  yards  in 
diameter,  and  it  apparently  travelled  at  about  the 
speed  of  a man  running  his  hardest. 

The  side  of  the  house  assigned  to  my  married 
junior  was  blown  in  ; and  therefore,  with  great  self- 
sacrifice,  I gave  him  mine,  and  at  once  condemned 
myseli  to  the  agony  of  long  exile  in  the  yamen,  with 
my  respected  superior’s  approval,  he  also  preferring 
the  amenities  of  civilised  life.  The  “ godown  ” from 
which  my  furniture  and  belongings  had  been  removed 


AN  ECCENTRIC  DRAGON 


31 


that  very  morning  was  flattened  like  a pack  of  cards, 
and  off  the  lucky  baggage  was  carted  at  once  to 
my  city  retreat  in  the  fine,  cool  deer-park.  I forget 
the  number  of  houses  destroyed  in  the  city,  but  it 
was  over  a thousand ; the  gyrating  column  levelled 
a lane  straight  across  the  densely  populated  suburbs, 
as  though  a giant  with  a big  flail  had  brought  it 
down  flat  upon  an  exhibition  of  fine  crockery  laid 
out  on  a table.  Six  thousand  people  were  killed 
outright ; innumerable  junks  were  wrecked  ; hardly 
a single  house  on  the  foreign  concession  escaped 
injury,  and  most  were  unroofed  ; iron  railings  were 
twisted  like  wire ; gigantic  banyans  were  torn  up 
like  cabbages ; huge  stone  seats  flung  about  ; and, 
in  a word,  “ Old  Harry  ” was  played  with  every- 
thing in  the  tornado’s  course.  Strange  to  say,  no 
European  or  American  was  seriously  injured  ; nor, 
in  fact,  was  the  damage  done  to  the  foreign  island 
of  Shamien  (in  the  river)  anything  like  so  serious  as 
that  done  to  the  native  city  : the  reason,  apparently, 
was  that  the  “ dragon  ” did  not  move  horizontally 
straight  as  well  as  perpendicularly  straight,  but 
hopped  about  up  and  down,  sometimes  leaving  even 
tender  flowers  in  his  path  quite  untouched. 

I had  not  been  five  minutes  ashore  before  both 
the  English  and  the  French  consuls  (neither  of  whom 
knew  a word  of  Chinese)  requisitioned  my  services 
to  obtain  protection  for  the  exposed  houses.  The 
Viceroy,  Liu  K'un-yih,  had  only  recently  arrived,  and 


32 


THE  HAND  OF  GOD 


he  at  once  offered  every  aid  ; he  put  the  whole  disaster 
down  to  his  own  “slender  virtue.”  The  Chinese 
never  make  much  fuss  about  natural  calamities  ; they 
simply  say  “ Ai-ya\"  and  go  on  with  their  occupa- 
tions as  usual.  What  ultimately  became  of  the 
whirlwind  I do  not  know,  but  I believe  it  worked 
its  way  right  across  to  Swatow ; it  seems  to  have 
generated  itself  in  the  steamy,  low-lying  river  islets 
about  Shek-wan,  passing  over  Fatshan ; and  then 
after  a few  zigzags  it  cut  through  the  western 
suburbs  of  Canton.  There  had  been  some  talk  of 
giving  up  the  old  yamen  for  economical  reasons  after 
Sir  Brooke  Robertson’s  retirement — a somewhat  weak 
thing  to  do,  after  our  long  fight  for  the  right  to 
enter  and  live  inside  the  city  ; however,  this  tornado 
furnished  a good  pretext  for  “ holding  on  ” to  it ; and 
we  still  hold  on  ; and  ought  to  continue  holding  on. 

WANG-ERH  AND  THE  CHOLERA 

WanG-ERH  was  the  identical  individual  whom  Captain 
Gill  has  immortalised  in  his  River  of  Golden  Sand. 
Having  found  that  life  in  Sz  Ch'wan  afforded  its  com- 
pensations, he  drifted  into  my  service,  and  followed 
me  during  four  or  five  land  and  river  journeys,  ex- 
tending over  several  thousand  miles,  in  the  capacity 
of  t'ing-ch'ai,  or  official  messenger.  Beyond  being  a 
heavy  opium-smoker,  and  consequently  a trifle  listless 
and  unpunctual,  he  never  gave  me  much  cause  to 
complain. 


EXPERIMENTUM  IN  CORPORE 


33 


One  day,  when  travelling  with  me  in  a boat, 
he  sent  word  to  say  that  he  had  cholera,  and 
feared  that  his  end  was  approaching.  I had  provided 
myself  with  a medicine-chest  (which  I never  used),  in- 
cluding amongst  other  things  a bottle  of  laudanum  ; 
but  the  courage  oozed  out  at  my  finger-ends  when  I 
contemplated  this  dangerous  bottle.  I had  just  been 
reading  an  American  publication  called,  I think,  A 
Thousand  Facts  on  a Thousand  Things,  and  one  of 
the  thousand  facts  was  a “ certain  cure  for  cholera.” 
It  was,  so  far  as  I can  remember,  to  take  a pint  of 
hot  vinegar,  mix  it  with  a quarter  of  a pound  of  salt, 
and  drink  one  table-spoonful  every  half-hour  till  well. 
The  Chinese  always  prefer  draughts  to  concentrated 
doses ; and,  therefore,  when  I confidently  gave  orders 
to  brew  this  concoction,  I at  once  had  with  me  the 
sympathies  of  servants  and  crew.  The  “ boy  ” was 
charged  with  the  execution  of  the  decree,  and  proceeded 
without  loss  of  time  to  administer  the  remedy,  cheer- 
fully remarking  to  me  that,  if  Wang-erh  should  survive 
the  ordeal,  he  and  I might  securely  try  it  ourselves  on 
some  future  occasion. 

After  the  lapse  of  about  four  hours,  during  which 
time  I heard  agonising  sounds  from  the  compart- 
ment assigned  to  opium-smokers,  all  pointing  to 
the  inference  that  tissue  of  some  kind  was  under- 
going rapid  displacement,  a dead  silence  ensued,  and 
I began  to  feel  guilty  qualms  of  conscience.  When 
the  “ boy  ” pushed  aside  the  sliding  door  to  give 

3 


34 


THE  HAND  OF  GOD 


me  my  afternoon  tea,  he  whispered  mysteriously  : 
“ Wang-erh  is  sleeping  very  ripe  ! ” 

I said : “ Let  him  sleep.” 

Next  morning,  when  I called  out  for  my  hot 
water,  I heard  hilarious  conversation,  and  a minute 
later  in  walked  (or  rather  crept,  for  he  was  altogether 
too  tall  for  the  boat)  Wang-erh  himself.  He  set  down 
the  water,  flung  himself  on  his  hands  and.  knees, 
knocked  his  head  thrice  on  the  flooring,  and  said : 
“ I give  old  sire  the  kotow.  I have  not  been  once 
to-day.  I am  evidently  cured.”  And  he  was.  After 
that  he  reduced  his  opium  allowance,  and  took  to 
pills ; in  fact,  I learnt  afterwards  that  it  was  his  attempt 
to  give  up  opium-smoking  that  had  boulevers^  les 
entrailles. 


A CELESTIAL  COINCIDENCE 
The  historical  Chinese  expression  for  “there  was  an 
eclipse  of  the  sun  ” is,  “ the  sun  had  an  eater  of  it.” 
Lunar  eclipses  are  also  recorded,  but  not  so  carefully 
as  those  of  the  sun.  The  first  solar  eclipse  we  can  be 
at  all  certain  about  is  that  of  776  B.C.,  recorded  in  the 
Book  of  Poetry,  about  half  a century  after  the  time 
when  the  trustworthy  historical  dates  begin.  At  that 
time  the  year  began  earlier  than  it  does  now,  and 
the  “junction  of  the  tenth  moon”  was,  it  seems, 
August  29  or  30,  according  to  when  the  astronomical 
day  began. 

On  the  night  of  November  4,  1892,  I was  smoking 


EATING  THE  MOON 


35 


my  cigar  on  the  verandah  of  the  bungalow  placed 
at  my  disposal  by  the  Chinese  Rajah  of  Renoung, 
in  Siam.  Two  diminutive  Siamese  soldiers  mounted 
guard,  and  I was  dreamily  reading  an  account  of  a 
remarkable  eclipse  of  the  moon  which  had  taken 
place  in  Siam  during  Constantine  Phaulcon’s  time. 
The  town  seemed  to  me  very  gay,  for  I could  hear 
merry  crowds  banging  gongs  and  making  the  “devil’s 
own  row  ” in  the  bright  moonlight.  The  old  French 
book  I was  reading  had  been  lent  to  me  by  an  official 
at  Mergui,  and  the  author,  whose  name  I forget  (perhaps 
Turpin)  was  very  minute  in  his  descriptions  of  “the 
contact,”  and  so  on.  It  occurred  to  me  then  to  look 
up  at  the  moon  in  front  of  me,  which  just  at  that 
instant  seemed  to  be  obscured  by  a small  cloud  of 
great  density : the  hour  reminded  me  of  the  exact 
circumstances  described  in  the  book,  and  the  latitude 
was  almost  the  same  as  in  the  eclipse  of  two  centuries 
ago  observed  by  the  ambassadors  of  Louis  XIV. 
Then  a thick  black  line  appeared  to  eat  into  the  moon, 
and  the  gongs  and  crackers  in  the  town  grew  louder. 
There  were  no  newspapers  in  those  parts,  nor  had  I 
seen  one  for  many  weeks.  Surely  this  cannot  be  an 
eclipse  of  the  moon,  under  precisely  the  same  con- 
ditions and  in  the  very  country  I am  reading  about? 
By  this  time  the  moon  was  nearly  obscured,  and  it 
became  evident  that  it  really  was  a total  eclipse. 

Although  the  theory  of  eclipses  has  from  very  early 
times  been  clearly  understood  by  the  Chinese,  the 


36 


THE  HAND  OF  GOD 


Astronomical  Board  still  considers  it  advisable  to  notify 
the  provincial  authorities  of  the  time  at  which  they  are 
to  begin  the  process  of  “ rescuing.”  The  popular  idea 
is  that  a dog  or  some  other  rapacious  beast  is  devour- 
ing the  orb,  and  that  it  may  be  frightened  away  by 
noise.  The  local  Chinese  “dynasty”  of  Khaw  (Hii)  was 
strictly  carrying  out  imperial  forms.  About  thirteen 
years  previously  there  was  an  eclipse  of  the  moon 
visible  at  Canton  on  December  29,  and  I saw  a des- 
patch from  the  Board  to  the  Viceroy : “ I have  to  in- 
struct you  to  begin  rescuing  at  (whatever  time  it  was).” 
As  the  Chinese  day  begins  at  midnight  for  astronomical 
purposes,  it  is  probable  that  they  now  calculate  their 
eclipses  on  the  European  system,  as  taught  to  them 
by  the  early  Jesuits.  The  expressions  they  use  are 
“ first  deficit,”  “ eaten  quite,”  “ eaten  very,”  “ yield  light,” 
and  “ again  round  ” ; which  would  seem  to  correspond 
to  “ first  contact  with  the  shadow,”  “ beginning  of  the 
total  phase,”  “ middle  of  the  eclipse,”  " end  of  the  total 
phase,”  and  “ last  contact  with  the  shadow.”  The 
double  Chinese  “ hour  ” of  midnight  extends  from 
eleven  to  one,  and  the  first  half  of  it  is  called  “ night 
first  hour,”  to  distinguish  it  from  the  half  which  lasts 
from  midnight  till  one  o’clock. — The  above  singular 
coincidence  impressed  me  very  much. 


TMi:  OI-D  IICSUIT  INSl  KL’MP:N1S  ok  THi;  ASTUONOMICAI.  BOAKU  AT  KKKING  (TAKKN  BY  GERMANY). 

(Illustrates  Kclipscs.)  {7 o jace  p. 


CHAPTER  III 

THE  INNOCENTS  ABROAD 
CHINESE  WASHERMEN 

IN  1877,  on  my  way  back  to  China,  I stopped  for 
a night  at  several  towns  such  as  Omaha,  Salt 
Lake  City,  Ogden,  Merced,  San  Jos^,  etc.  It  is 
immaterial  which  town  it  was,  but  at  one  (I  think 
Salt  Lake  City)  I happened  to  wander  past  a group 
of  Chinese  wash-houses,  such  as  one  sees  in  them 
all,  and  thought  I would  “ have  a bit  of  fun.”  I 
introduced  myself  as  the  possible  coming  Chinese 
consul.  I said  that  China  had  just  sent  a Minister 
to  Europe,  and  that  I had  come  round  to  enquire 
into  Chinamen  all  over  the  world,  as  a preliminary 
step  to  the  Emperor’s  sending  a consul  to  San 
Francisco.  “ Tell  me  all  your  grievances.”  (They 
were  Cantonese.) 

One  said  : “ I saved  about  five  hundred  dollars  a 
year  ago,  and  put  it  into  the  bank  on  deposit.  I 
want  to  go  home,  and  the  bank  won’t  give  me  my 
money.”  He  showed  me  the  receipt  and  a memo. 
from  the  bank,  stating  that  no  transfer  could  be 


37 


38 


THE  INNOCENTS  ABROAD 


effected  unless  Mr.  A-lin  (or  some  such  name)  en- 
dorsed the  paper. 

I said  : “ Come  with  me  to  the  bank.” 

We  marched  in,  and  I said;  “Here’s  a Chinaman 
who  says  you  have  five  hundred  dollars  of  his,  and 
won’t  give  it  up.” 

The  manager  said:  “Yes,  we  have;  but  we  don’t 
know  that  that’s  the  Chinaman ; they’re  all  the  same.” 
I said  : “ It  seems  to  me  that  in  accepting  the  man’s 
money  you  ought  to  have  taken  the  necessary  steps 
to  identify  him,  or  secure  his  signature.” 

The  manager  replied : “We  have  a hieroglyphic 
which  he  has  written,  but  other  Chinamen  say  it 
possesses  a different  sound.” 

I looked  at  it,  and  found  that  A-lin  (his  “ Christian  ” 
name)  had  styled  himself  Cheng  Lin  in  due  form, 
Cheng  being  his  family  name,  and  “A”  a mere 
expletive. 

“Then  what  are  you  going  to  do?” 

“We  will  do  anything  he  likes,  so  long  as  we  get 
an  indemnity  through  a notary.” 

I explained  to  A-lin  that  he  must  get  his  friends 
to  “skewer”  the  bank,  in  case  any  one  else  should 
claim  the  money  later  on,  and  must  get  a chotig-sz 
(=  pettifogger)  to  act  as  witness.  We  then  went  back 
and  talked  it  over  with  the  other  washermen.  As 
I judged  from  their  hold-offishness  that  they  thought 
I expected  some  commission,  I then  left  them,  for  I 
had  no  time  to  waste. 


FROM  “MOST  BEAUTIFUL”  PEKING  39 


In  spite  of  their  cunning,  Chinamen  usually  show 
a childish  confidence  in  “ established  ” foreigners  of 
any  kind,  whether  it  be  matter  of  a bank,  a consul,  a 
missionary,  or  a working  manager.  I have  known 
mandarins,  whose  hostility  to  missionaries  had  brought 
on  a threatened  riot,  to  send  their  own  valuables  for 
safety  to  these  same  missionaries.  A great  deal  of 
trust  property  is  held  in  foreign  names  at  Shanghai 
for  the  benefit  of  Chinese,  who  often  have  no  security 
whatever  beyond  word-of-mouth  undertakings. 


THE  CHINESE  DIPLOMAT  IN  RUSSIA 

“ Hier  muss  man  das  Maid  fest  halten  ” were  the 
warning  words  of  a German  “ drummer  ” who  occupied 
with  me  the  hotel  omnibus  as  I underwent  my  first 
experiences  of  St.  Petersburg.  To  the  uninitiated,  I 
may  explain  that  a Maul  is  a “ mug  ” ; but  I took 
no  notice  whatever  of  his  remark,  and  opened  mine  as 
freely  in  Russia  as  elsewhere,  even  to  the  extent  of 
bearding  Governors  and  Vice-governors  in  their  own 
dens  when  they  bothered  me  too  much  with  their 
meticulosities. 

I was  sauntering  along  the  Nevski  Prospekt  one 
summer’s  day,  when  I saw  in  front  of  me  an  unmistak- 
able Pekingese  holding,  by  a straw  attached  to  the 
little  finger,  a small  paper  parcel,  exactly  as,  in  the 
odoriferous  streets  of  the  “ Most  Beautiful  ” {shou-shaii), 
it  is  the  custom  to  carry  home  a few  ounces  of  pork 


40 


THE  INNOCENTS  ABROAD 


or  a packet  of  brown  sugar  of  an  evening.  The 
Pekingese  do  not  say  “ How  do  you  do  ? ”,  or  “ Good 
morning,”  but  “ Where  are  you  going  ? ”,  or  “ Have  you 
eaten  rice  ? ” Accordingly  I said  : “ Shang  na-rh  a ? ” 
(“  Where  are  you  off  to  ? ”) ; and  as  the  man  turned 
quite  unmoved  to  see  who  it  was,  I added : “ ChHh-lo 
fan-lo-mo?”  (“Have  you  eaten  rice?”).  He  seemed  to 
think  it  the  most  natural  thing  in  the  world  to  be  thus 
addressed,  and  showed  no  emotion  whatever.  In 
answer  to  his  questions,  I told  him  I was  not  a 
Russian,  but  had  just  come  from  his  native  place. 
When  I told  him  I was  preserving  my  incognito,  and 
he  heard  the  most  secret  purlieus  of  Peking  mentioned 
familiarly,  he  seemed  to  think  I was  in  some  mysterious 
way  a northern  Chinaman  in  disguise.  It  turned  out 
he  was  an  attache  at  the  Legation,  to  which  place  he 
took  me.  There  I made  the  acquaintance  of  the 
Manchu  charge  d'affaires,  and  for  several  days  we  went 
about  together, — to  the  museums,  the  “ fortress,”  tombs, 
cathedrals,  monasteries ; to  the  Arcadia  and  Bavari 
public  gardens  (it  is  quite  light  until  ii  p.m.  there) ; and 
to  various  other  places  not  so  easy  of  access  without 
some  influence. 

In  any  country  but  Russia,  to  be  seen  chatting  with 
Chinamen  in  a Biergar-ten  would  attract  a crowd ; but  I 
was  given  a particularly  wide  berth, — by  the  common 
people  because  they  thought  I was  an  official,  possibly 
a police-agent  ; by  the  “ swells  ” because  they  assumed 
from  my  confident  manner  that  I was  “ authorised  ” in 


I DO  NOT  LIKE  THEE,  DR.  FELL  41 


some  way.  Only  on  one  occasion  a man  I had  noticed 
“ shadowing  ” us,  and  who,  I had  told  the  charge^  was 
absolutely  certain  to  find  a pretext  for  joining  us,  did 
really  come  to  our  table.  He  addressed  the  Chinamen, 
or  rather  Manchus,  as  “old  friends”  in  French,  and 
said  he  had  met  them  at  somebody’s  reception  ; as  I 
looked  vacantly  forward,  he  then  proceeded  to  ask  who 
I was.  He  was  informed  that  I apparently  spoke  no 
language  but  that  of  Peking,  and  that  I was  not  a 
Russian,  but  that  we  knew  common  friends ; and  that 
was  all  they  could  say  (nor  did  they  ever  press  me 
further).  I have  no  doubt  the  man  in  question  was  one 
of  the  police-agents,  and  that  he  solved  the  mystery 
for  himself  by  following  me  on  that  or  some  other 
day  to  my  hotel. 

The  following  afternoon  the  Czar  was  giving  a 
reception,  and  all  the  diplomats  went  to  the  palace  of 
Peterhof.  In  St.  Petersburg  things  are  done  in  the 
free-and-easy  way  of  the  Pincio  at ‘Rome,  and  there  is 
not  much  “ carriage  style.”  I went  to  have  a look,  and 
found  my  Manchu  friend  coming  away  in  a common 
open  droschky.  That  night  we  went  to  the  Leitny 
Garden.s,  and  played  some  fresh  pranks  there. — At 
Moscow  and  Nijni  Novgorod,  later  on,  I had  some 
more  “carryings  on”  with  certain  Shan  Si  Chinese, 
much  to  the  mystification  of  the  ever-watchful  Russian 
police. 


42 


THE  INNOCENTS  ABROAD 


CHINESE  IN  SUMATRA 

In  June,  1878,  the  Chinese  Government  sent  a 
Cantonese  named  Ch'en  Lan-pin  as  Minister  to 
Washington.  His  sphere  of  influence  included  Spain 
and  the  Spanish-Portuguese  Republics,  and  “grew  out 
of”  the  ill-treatment  of  coolies  in  Cuba.  A mission 
of  enquiry,  conducted  by  Mr.  Macpherson,  of  the 
P'oreign  Customs,  had  passed  through  Shanghai  for 
Cuba  in  October,  1873.  (Incidentally,  I may  mention 
that  when  I was  in  Cuba  [1894]  the  ill  treatment  of 
Chinese  had  ceased.)  The  Macao  “ slave  trade  ” had 
been  stopped,  largely  through  the  efforts  of  Great 
Britain,  in  1874;  and  the  Peruvians  (also  under  sus- 
picion) were  busy  at  Canton  with  their  proposed 
coolie  hiring,  when  Ch'en  Lan-pin  called  to  consult 
certain  of  his  friends  about  it.  The  Peruvians  did 
not  eventually  succeed.  Two  years  later  the  Brazilians 
came  to  try  their  hand ; and  the  Dutch  were  also 
particularly  anxious  to  facilitate  the  importation  of 
Chinese  coolies  into  Sumatra,  as  their  methods  were 
such  that  the  British  (Indian)  Government  did  not 
care  to  encourage  the  emigration  of  Klings,  at  least 
unless  a British  official  were  allowed  to  watch  the 
whole  business. 

It  was  under  these  circumstances  that  I took  an 
opportunity  of  visiting  the  Sumatra  tobacco  planta- 
tions of  Deli,  in  the  spring  of  1888,  in  order  that  I 
might  see  on  my  own  account  and  with  my  own 


ISRAEL  IN  EGYPT 


43 


eyes  the  real  state  of  affairs.  Deli  seems  to  be  prac- 
tically the  old  state  of  Ferlech,  or  Parlac,  visited  by 
Marco  Polo ; and  when  I was  there,  quite  a flourishing 
town  called  Medan,  connected  with  the  port  by  a 
good  railway,  had  grown  up  in  the  neighbourhood 
of  the  Deli  Maatschappij’s  chief  plantations.  Very 
few  Englishmen  owned  tobacco  interests ; the  most 
energetic,  and  the  lea.st  tender  to  the  Chinese,  seemed  to 
be  the  Germans.  I found  the  rules  made  by  the  authori- 
ties fairly  good  on  paper  ; but,  on  visiting  the  tobacco- 
fields,  and  closely  enquiring  from  the  coolies  themselves, 
I was  convinced  that  the  majority  of  them  were  in 
a position  little  removed  from  virtual  slavery.  In 
the  first  place,  they  had  to  sign  bonds  to  serve  for 
a minimum  time  (three  to  five  years)  at  fixed  wages ; 
then  they  had  to  guarantee  repayment  of  their  passage- 
money  and  outfit ; every  encouragement  was  given 
to  them  to  “ extend  their  term,”  and  to  spend  as 
much  of  their  money  as  possible  in  “ tuck-shops,” 
brothels,  and  other  places  provided  for  their  recrea- 
tion ; the  food  they  bought  and  the  opium  they 
smoked  brought  profit  at  their  expense  to  either  the 
administration  or  the  “ owner  ” ; loans  were  offered 
freely  ; penalties  for  breach  of  discipline  were  heavy  ; 
and  the  “ laws  of  evidence  ” were  such  that  practically 
the  white  man  was  able  to  “ work  the  case  ” in  his 
own  interest.  Every  possibly  obstacle  which  the  law 
allowed  was  directly  or  indirectly  put  in  the  coolies’ 
way  to  prevent  their  leaving  for  China  with  their 


44 


THE  INNOCENTS  ABROAD 


earnings  ; but  they  were  invited  to  send  savings,  and 
to  coax  their  relatives  to  come  too.  The  influence 
of  “ smart  ” Chinese  was  used  to  compel  the  unwilling. 
Nearly  all  the  coolies  I saw  said,  on  their  own  behalf 
and  on  that  of  their  friends,  that  they  would  be  only 
too  glad  to  escape  with  their  possessions,  if  they  could. 

Of  course  the  Dutch  and  German  planters  put  a very 
different  colour  upon  the  story.  They  said  (which 
was  true)  that  the  hut  accommodation  was  good  ; 
the  medical  attendance  adequate ; food  sufficient,  and 
not  excessively  dear  ; hours  reasonable ; amusements 
and  pleasures  to  be  got  for  the  paying ; but  that 
order  and  discipline  had  to  be  preserved  with  a strong 
hand.  Still,  having  seen  most  other  foreign  resorts  of 
Chinese,  I say  that,  as  compared  with  Chinese  con- 
tract labourers  in  English  Protectorates,  the  men  were 
in  serfage ; they  were  infinitely  worse  off  than  the 
same  Chinamen  in  French  colonies,  where  a man  is  at 
least  free,  even  though  he  may  be  bullied  and  over- 
taxed. In  a surreptitious  way  the  planters  hoodwinked 
the  officials,  who  perhaps  made  little  effort  to  be  unde- 
ceived ; they  seemed  to  strain  every  letter  of  the  law 
to  entangle  in  the  meshes  of  debt,  indiscretion,  greed, 
and  vice  ; and  the  whole  system  appeared  to  me  (who 
see  for  myself,  and  take  no  man’s  interested  assur- 
ances) to  be  negative  if  not  positive  slavery ; but 
still  a mild  slavery.  However,  I see  from  our  Swatow 
consul’s  last  report  on  the  coolie  traffic  that  things  are 
now  better. 


DON  JUAN  IN  A PIGTAIL 


45 


CHINESE  IN  AUSTRALIA 

During  the  past  dozen  years  of  exclusionist  policy, 
it  is  not  probable  that  the  Chinese  population  of 
Australasia  has  increased,  and  it  may  safely  be  assumed 
that,  including  New  Zealand,  the  total  figure  does  not 
exceed  the  sixty  thousand  of  1888.  The  general  atti- 
tude of  white  men  towards  the  Yellow  Race  may  be 
gathered  from  the  following,  repeated  almost  word  for 
word  from  the  mouth  of  an  English  miner  employed 
by  the  Wo  Hap  firm  of  Ballarat. 

“ Oh  ! they’re  not  bad  fellows,  them  Chinese  ; the  only 
thing  is  they’re  so  dirty  in  their  ways,  and  won’t  spend 
nothin’,  and  they  plays  old  ’Arry  with  our  women. 
But  they  doesn’t  do  us  no  ’arm  ; only  we  want  none  o’ 
their  blood  a-mixin’  with  ourn.  We  can  put  up  with 
them  as  we’ve  got,  but  we  won’t  have  no  more  o’  them. 
If  they’d  only  bring  their  wives  and  settle  down,  we 
could  stand  it  well  enough  ; but  they  goes  a-sellin’  o’ 

handkichers  and  sich  to  them  Irish  girls,  so soft- 

spoken  like,  that  the  girls  gets  kind  o’  fond  o’  them  ; and 
the  Chinaman  he  makes  a very  nice  husband  too,  for  he 
gets  up  early  to  make  the  fire,  washes  the  togs,  and 
lets  ’em  dress  up  just  as  they  like  ; and  they  are  always 
a frightenin’  of  him — don’t  ye  see  ? — and  if  he  didn’t 
fork  out,  he’d  think  they’d  be  after  some  other  chap.” 

Six  shillings  (and  this  but  one-half  of  what  the 
Australian  Irishmen  try  to  get  per  diem')  is  exactly 
what  a Chinaman  receives  a month  at  home,  and  to 


46 


THE  INNOCENTS  ABROAD 


keep  his  whole  family.  Wo  Hap  employed  sixty  of  his 
own  countrymen  (Cantonese  delta)  and  forty  Europeans  ; 
the  latter  mostly  as  carters ; only  Chinese  did  the 
wheelbarrow  work. 

It  was  amusing  and  interesting  to  see  how  the  supple 
Celestials  accommodated  themselves  to  the  taste  of 
their  rough  British  mates.  They  slouched  their  soft 
hats’  brim  down  over  the  face  in  colonial  style,  strapped 
their  trousers  below  the  knees,  wore  heavy  boots  and 
red  flannel  shirts,  and  affected  the  clumsy,  hearty,  “ how 

the  h are  you  ” ways  of  their  gruff  companions.  I 

noticed  a slight  tremor  in  the  voice  of  the  Hakka 
who  was  “ trying  it  on  ” with  me  ; his  nerve  gave  way 
when  I addressed  him  in  Cantonese,  and  in  reply  to 
my  query  he  produced  his  pigtail,  coiled  snugly  up  in 
the  recesses  of  his  billycock,  when  he  found  “ it  was  all 
up.”  By  leaving  an  unshaved  fringe  round  the  crown, 
and  thus  concealing  the  caudal  temptation  to  “ larks  ” 
and  horse-play,  the  Chinaman  can  easily  produce  the 
general  appearance  of  an  unkempt  Italian  ; and  when 
there  is  no  external  evidence  of  “ Mongolian  ” origin, 
the  Irish  mate  soon  forgets  the  incongruity. 

At  night  the  Celestials  retire  to  their  own  huts  in  the 
“ camp  ” outside  the  town,  which  there  is  no  need  for 
any  European  to  visit ; there  they  can  pig  away  with- 
out fear  of  molestation.  The  well-to-do,  and  especially 
those  with  white  wives,  own  the  gambling-houses, 
opium-dens,  and  shops  or  stores  in  China  Street  (in- 
side the  town).  As  no  one  understands  Chinese  ways. 


NOTICE  TO  MR.  TONY  WELLER  47 


there  is  little  police  interferertce  with  them.  The  only 
thing  is  that  a private  detective  (I  met  one)  is 
told  off  in  the  large  towns  to  prevent  the  abduction 
of  English  girls,  who  are  at  once  sent  to  prison,  if 
found  with  Chinamen,  for  having  no  “visible  means  of 
subsistence  ” ; — unless  they  marry,  that  is.  Chinese 
“ protection  ” is  not  recognised,  especially  when  there 
is  reason  to  believe  that  more  than  one  “ protector  ” 
exist  over  one  and  the  same  subject.  In  Sydney 
there  are  a good  many  excellent  Chinese  shops  at 
the  bottom  of  George  Street,  near  the  Circular  Quay, 
and  in  Melbourne  the  greater  part  of  one  whole 
street  is  Chinese.  In  Adelaide  there  are  occasional 
“ stores,”  ; but  in  each  and  every  case  European  costume 
is  worn,  which,  being  of  the  “ street  cad  ” type,  effectu- 
ally deprives  the  Australian  Chinaman  of  any  native 
dignity  he  may  possess  at  home.  Several,  however, 
have  become  prominent  and  useful  citizens,  and  quasi- 
Anglicised.  I saw  one  or  two  who  might  have  sat  for 
Mr.  Stiggins’s  portrait,  with  top  hat,  white  choker,  and 
umbrella. 


THE  CHINAMAN  IN  NEW  ZEALAND 

John  Chinaman  was  not  viewed  with  favour  in  New 
Zealand  when  I was  there ; in  fact,  a prosperous 
Celestial  trader  in  Fiji  (Hung-li),  who  travelled  with 
me  to  Auckland  from  Levuka,  expressed  doubts  as 
to  the  possibility  of  a Chinese’  landing  on  any  terms 


48 


THE  INNOCENTS  ABROAD 


just  then.  Nay,  more,  there  was  a “ black-leg  " dispute 
about  the  crew  of  the  very  steamer  {^Mariposa)  in 
which  I subsequently  left  Auckland  for  Honolulu. 
Of  course,  those  Chinese  who  were  already  in  the 
country  were  not  interfered  with ; but  the  Maritime 
Labour  Council  went  so  far  as  to  decline  to  permit  the 
supply  of  coal  to  the  Zealandia  (the  steamer  which 
preceded  mine),  “ manned  as  she  is  by  Chinese  in  the 
stoke-hole,  to  the  detriment  of  the  white  race,”  and 
in  order  to  defeat  the  “ endeavours  to  reduce  our  race 
to  the  level  of  Mongols.”  It  was,  therefore,  not  without 
surprise  one  day  that,  as  I was  sitting  on  the  box-seat 
of  Mcllroy’s  coach,  on  the  way  to  the  Haka  Falls,  I 
observed  a Chinese  ostler  calmly  walk  up  with  a 
bucket  of  water  for  the  horses.  His  behaviour  and 
attitudes  were  exactly  those  of  the  innkeeper  employes 
on  the  Peking  roads  ; but  I could  see  from  his  trousers 
that  he  was  a genuine  Cantonese.  I shouted  out  from 
the  box  the  usual  Cantonese  query  : “ Are  you  from 
Namhoi  or  P'unyii  [=  from  which  half  of  the  city]  ? ” 

“I  am  a Sai-ts'iu  man,”  said  he  (south-west  of 
Canton),  without  displaying  the  slightest  surprise. 

I then  asked  him  a few  questions  about  the  treat- 
ment he  and  his  compatriots  received  in  New 
Zealand. 

The  passenger  sitting  next  to  me  on  the  box  here 
interposed  : “ Was  that  Chinese  you  were  talking  ? ” 

“Yes;  Cantonese.” 

“ I used  to  study  Chinese  once — about  twenty  years 


MAKES  A “MEKLE”  49 

ago,  that  was ; and  the  pronunciation  I learnt  was 
quite  different.” 

“ Who  taught  you  ? ” 

“ A missionary  in  London.” 

“ There  was  surely  only  one  man  teaching  Chinese  in 
London  twenty  years  ago,  and  that  was  an  ex-missionary 
named  Summers,” 

“That  is  the  name  of  the  man.” 

“ Then  we  must  have  been  there  together.” 

It  turned  out  that  we  had  both  taken  lessons  at  the 
same  time  in  George  Yard  (just  opposite  Mr.  Pickwick’s 
chop-house),  and  had  encountered  the  same  fellow- 
students  ; but  had  never  met  each  other. 

Mak,  or  Mek^  is  a Chinese  family  name  (Cantonese 
pronunciation),  and  is  pronounced  like  the  Me  in 
McPherson — without  any  definite  vowel.  In  Otago 
nearly  every  one  is  Scotch,  and  so  the  son  of  one  A-fu 
(or  Mek  Fu)  ingeniously  styled  himself  Maepherson. 
In  this  way  did  the  wily  Celestial  circumvent  the 
canny  Scot,  and  became  a prominent  citizen.  When 
I was  there  he  resided  at  Round  Hill,  and,  if  I am 
not  mistaken,  had  an  Irish  wife  ; at  all  events,  I met 
several  prominent  Chinamen  in  the  colonies  who  were 
happily  married  to  British  wives  ; and  several  wives 
told  me  (in  a whisper)  they  preferred  a Chinaman 
to  a white  man,  as  being  more  sober,  domesticated, 
and  thrifty. 


4 


50 


THE  INNOCENTS  ABROAD 


FRENCH  CHINAMEN 

Although  we  are  given  to  animadvert  upon  French 
colonial  incapacity,  and  although  I myself  have  in- 
dulged in  considerable  “ chaff  ” at  the  cost  of  their 
fussy  and  superfluous  fo}ictiotmaires,  I must  state 
outright  that  there  is  a good  deal  of  generous  and 
noble-minded  disinterestedness  about  the  French 
administration  in  the  Far  East.  They  spend  huge  sums 
upon  public  works,  markets,  and  all  sorts  of  advantages 
for  the  indigenes,  (they  also  waste  a great  deal  upon 
banquets  and  ceremonies,)  and  there  is  no  doubt  that 
the  French  priests,  in  their  ecclesiastical  efforts,  have 
a higher  repute  than  the  Spaniards  of  Manila  as  regards 
purity  and  good  faith.  But,  having  been  over  a good 
part  of  Tonquin  and  a fair  proportion  of  Annam,  I 
must  confess  that  it  always  appeared  to  me  that  the 
Chinese  cordially  hated  the  French  official  ways.  It  is 
not  that  the  rules  and  regulations  are  not  just  and  good, 
but  they  are  too  pin-pricky.  What  the  Chinese  like 
about  the  English  administration  is  that  it  ignores  them, 
and  they  are  themselves  left  absolutely  alone. 

Hongkong,  and  even  more  Singapore,  is  a wonderful 
spectacle  of  mixed  liberty.  The  French  do  not 
interfere  with  liberty  in  theory,  but  it  is  the  caprice 
or  incapacity  of  individual  officials  that  harasses  the 
Chinese.  For  instance,  the  instant  a man  lands,  he 
has  endless  trouble  with  his  baggage,  his  effects,  and 
the  tarif  getieral ; he  is  cuffed  and  shoved  about;  he 


AURI  SACRA  FAMES 


51 


has  to  pay  a heavy  annual  poll-tax,  get  photographed 
at  his  own  expense,  have  himself  affiliated  to  some  guild, 
and  obtain  various  permits  and  passes.  The  Chinese  are 
a republican  race,  and  in  their  own  country  salute  no 
official  in  the  streets.  The  French  do  not  properly 
understand  Chinese  ways  ; and  thus  the  Chinaman  at 
one  moment  insults  his  “protectors”  with  impunity, 
whilst  at  another  the  hot-headed  French  officer  or  police- 
man boxes  his  ears  for  some  neglect  of  form  which  is 
purely  imaginary.  On  the  other  hand,  the  Chinaman 
does  not  understand  French  ways,  and  irritates  the  testy 
jack-in-office  by  resisting  bond  fide  attempts  to  benefit 
himself,  as  often  as  he  unwittingly  breaks  the  law  in  his 
earnest  endeavour  to  observe  some  childish  regulation. 

In  a word,  the  government  is  “ uneven.”  On  the 
one  hand  the  priests,  who  really  exercise  an  admirable 
influence,  exhort  to  virtue  and  self-denial : it  is  a pity 
they  cannot  follow  this  out  without  calling  for  incessant 
contributions.  The  weak  point  of  the  Roman  Catholic 
Church,  here  as  elsewhere,  is  that  you  cannot  enter  a 
church,  sit  down,  burn  a candle,  or  do  anything  towards 
your  soul’s  salvation  without  paying  for  it.  It  is  all 
pay,  pay,  pay  ; and  obey,  obey,  obey.  Then,  again,  the 
position  of  priests  vis-d-vis  of  civilians  is  doubtful : in 
China  it  is  all  clamour  for  priestly  rank  and  rights  : 
in  Indo-China  the  priests  are  jealously  kept  within 
tether,  and  as  often  as  not  snubbed  and  ridiculed  by 
the  civilian  French.  The  very  frankness  of  Frenchmen 
in  questions  of  morality  or  immorality, — the  very 


52 


THE  INNOCENTS  ABROAD 


absence  of  that  goody-goodiness  which  some  English- 
men possess  and  others  affect, — leads  to  an  apparent 
devergondage  which  is  not  approved  even  by  the 
Chinese.  Then  there  is  the  absence  of  business 
capacity ; the  martinet-like  adherence  to  fixed  hours 
and  rules  not  essential  to  the  furtherance  of  objects 
desired  ; the  excessively  severe  opium  rules ; the 
granting  of  monopolies ; the  wholesale  licensing  of 
gambling-houses  (the  Chinese,  of  course,  like  this,  though 
they  do  not  respect  it)  ; the  grinding  taxation  ; the 
want  of  calmness  and  bonhomie  ; a waste  of  time  over 
the  midday  siesta ; official  censoriousness,  prying,  and 
arbitrariness : — all  these  taken  together  tend  to  make 
the  more  intelligent  Chinese  despise  French  rule. 

Personally,  I have  always  enjoyed  the  utmost 
hospitality  at  the  hands  of  genuine  French  officials, 
naval,  military,  and  civil ; and  I hope,  and  believe,  not 
one  has  any  ground  to  complain  of  me ; the  only 
persons  I have  found  disagreeable  are  “ mercantile 
officials.”  One  need  not  be  such  a simpleton  as  to 
swallow  all  the  yarns  every  discontented  Chinaman 
relates  ; but  I used  to  talk  with  every  one  who  would 
speak  to  me ; and,  for  the  reasons  given  above,  they 
in  each  case  left  the  same  impression  upon  me.  The 
government  is  a good  one,  but  capriciously  adminis- 
tered by  ill-trained  agents  ; it  requires  unification  and 
steadiness ; and  I feel  convinced  it  will  never  fully 
succeed  until  the  French  voluntarily  take  a leaf  from 
our  book,  and  “ let  the  Chinamen  be.” 


HE  WAS  A GOODLY  KING 


53 


THE  CHINAMAN  IN  HAWAII 

Although  American  influence,  and  notably  that  of 
the  sugar  “ king  ” Spreckels,  was  firmly  established 
and  predominant,  yet  Hawaii  was  still  nominally  an 
independent  kingdom  when  I got  a glimpse  of  it,  and 
the  total  population  was  about  seventy-five  thousand, 
of  which  Chinamen  numbered  one-third.  Since  then 
there  has  been  a large  increase,  especially  of  Japanese. 

In  1878  the  “Great  Sandal  Islands”  (the  Chinese 
name)  addressed  an  official  communication  to  the 
viceregal  government  of  Canton,  but  Liu  K'un-yih 
showed  no  disposition  at  all  to  enter  into  diplomatic 
relations  with  that  obscure  “ power.”  One  king  came 
on  a visit  to  Shanghai,  but  I forget  his  name  and 
the  year  of  his  visit.  Kalakaua  was  not  much  of  a 
monarch.  He  accepted  a bribe  of  seventy  thousand 
dollars  from  a Chinaman  in  exchange  for  the  opium 
monopoly,  notwithstanding  that  it  was  a criminal 
offence  to  smoke  the  drug  in  the  islands  at  all.  His 
(American)  judges  “decreed”  that  his  majesty  should 
restore  the  money  to  the  Chinaman ; but  meanwhile 
a “ Total  Exclusion  Bill  ” was  introduced  into  the 
legislature,  the  ostensible  objection  to  poor  John  being 
his  “ immorality.”  All  this  was  just  before  my  visit 
to  Honolulu. 

It  is  true  that  Chinese  emigrants  here  as  elsewhere 
are  slow  to  bring  their  own  women  with  them  until 
arrangements  are  made  for  permanent  cemeteries,  and 


54 


THE  INNOCENTS  ABROAD 


until  a feeling  of  justice  and  security  is  engendered  in 
their  minds ; yet  the  lady  Kanakas  are  only  too  pleased 
to  consort  with  Johannes  (for  a consideration).  Chinese 
industry  has  brought  under  cultivation  vast  tracts 
which  would  otherwise  have  lain  waste  ; but  here,  as 
at  home,  the  labourer  who  saves  a few  dollars  takes 
the  first  opportunity  of  turning  to  trade.  When  I 
was  there,  half  the  best  shops  were  Chinese,  and  of 
course  they  undersold  the  white  men : hence  the 
jealous  cry,  “ ruined  by  Chinese  cheap  labour.”  One  of 
my  Canton  lady  acquaintances  (American)  had  married 
a missionary  and  joined  in  his  work  there.  There  were 
also  some  Hakka  Christians  under  the  Basel  Mission, 
and  some  American  lady-missionaries  from  Foochow. 
The  labour  immigrants  were  nearly  all  of  Kwang 
Tung  provenance,  but  not  necessarily  from  Canton  ; 
and  their  guild  was  practically  under  the  control  of 
the  Chinese  Minister  at  Washington,  who  “put  the 
screw  on  ” persons  disagreeable  to  him  by  getting 
the  Viceroy  at  Canton  to  “ go  for  ” their  relations  at 
home.  Of  all  these  facts  I obtained  documentary 
evidence  at  the  time ; but  at  this  moment  I have  no 
doubt  the  Americans  have  crushed  out  all  Chinese 
aspirations  in  the  direction  of  political  intrigue,  at 
which  they  are  passed  masters. 

In  consequence  of  the  tendency  of  Celestials  to 
gravitate  to  “Chinatown”  in  Honolulu,  the  Japanese 
were  officially  encouraged  to  come  in  1888,  and  a 
thousand  of  them  had  just  arrived  in  the  Takasago 


SWEETNESS  AND  LIGHT”  WANTED  55 


Maru  when  I landed,  twenty  per  cent,  of  them 
being  (under  the  convention)  women.  The  Japanese 
take  more  kindly  to  permanent  plantation  life  than 
do  the  Chinese,  and,  moreover,  give  no  trouble 
about  ancestors,  graves,  opium,  bribery,  and  municipal 
intrigue. 

If  the  Chinese  Central  Government  had  had  any 
“ go  ” in  it,  there  would  have  been  no  great  difficulty 
in  annexing  the  group  in  1886,  just  at  the  moment 
when  the  Emperor’s  father  was  Admiral  of  the 
New  Fleet;  when  Japan  had  been  “defeated”  in 
Corea  ; when  the  United  States  were  at  loggerheads 
on  the  labour  question  ; and  when  Russia  was  really 
afraid  of  China  in  the  Ussuri  Province.  I happened 
to  be  in  Honolulu  on  Kalakaua’s  birthday,  and  the 
Chinese  prisoners  were  engaged  with  the  native 
criminals  in  dancing  and  posturing  to  the  strains  of 
their  native  guitar.  I had  some  conversation  with 
them,  and  in  surveying  this  allegorical  scene  I came 
once  more  to  the  conclusion  already  formed,  that  the 
easy  ways  of  genuine  barbarians  are  in  many  re- 
spects kindlier  and  more  humane  than  the  Pecksniffian 
tyranny  of  certain  “ outer  barbarians  ” of  Christendom, 
notably  those  of  the  Scotch-Dutch  type.  Moreover, 

I had  but  recently  conversed  on  the  sly  with  some 
French  “ murderers  ” in  New  Caledonia,  and  felt  sick 
of  contemplating  the  harshness  of  man  to  man  : 
the  French  system  seemed  to  me  brutal,  despite  its 
pampering  discipline. 


56 


THE  INNOCENTS  ABROAD 


DON  MAGNIFICO 

It  was  curious  for  me,  coming  from  China,  where 
you  can  buy  a man,  woman,  or  child  for  a few  shillings, 
to  observe  the  “ side  ” which  the  same  Chinese  had 
traditionally  acquired  in  Burma,  There  were  two 
currents:  the  Pekingese-speaking  of  Yiin  Nan,  entering 
Upper  Burma  by  land  from  the  north,  with  more  or 
less  “conquering”  traditions;  and  the  Cantonese,  or 
Fukienese-speaking,  entering  Lower  Burma  by  sea 
from  the  south,  imbued  more  with  the  English  or 
progressive  ideas.  But  both  currents  agreed  in  one 
respect : they  declined  to  serve  as  menials,  and  they 
toughly  held  out  for  the  privilege  of  not  dressing  as 
in  China ; that  is  to  say,  the  pigtail — now  so  beloved, 
despite  its  humiliating  origin — was  carefully  preserved 
on  principle,  but  was  as  often  as  not  concealed  in  a 
turban,  or  a billycock  ; the  long  gown — the  “ toga  ” 
of  the  Chinese — was  likewise  stowed  away  for  sacrificial 
occasions,  or  to  do  honour  to  Chinese  officials  on  the 
rare  occasions  when  Burma  was  officially  visited. 

With  the  exception  of  a few  northern  Chinese  waiters 
on  the  Bhamo  steamer,  the  Bhamo  missionaries’ 
“ boys,”  and  the  servants  either  brought  from  China 
or  hired  on  the  frontier  by  the  consular  officers  who 
had  preceded  me,  I never  saw  a single  menial  Chinese 
in  Burma,  and  monopolised  all  the  specimens  myself ; — 
that  is,  I never  saw  one  serving  a European,  and  I 
was  informed  that  the  various  guilds  would  not  allow 


HAPLY  THAT  I AM  BLACK” 


57 


it.  Of  course  they  served  each  other.  Imagine, 
then,  the  consternation  when  I appeared  upon  the 
scene  with  a gigantic  northerner  speaking  almost  pure 
Pekingese,  always  dressed  in  robes  at  table,  and  never 
daring  to  coil  up  his  pigtail  in  my  presence  ; accom- 
panied, moreover,  by  a Swatow  wife,  who  had  even 
had  the  audacity  to  “let  her  feet  out.”  They  might 
as  well  have  asked  Chang-erh  to  oblige  them  by 
cutting  his  throat  as  ask  him  to  disobey  me.  However, 
there  was  no  difficulty.  Chinese  always  give  way 
before  “ irresistible  persuasion,”  so  long  as  that  per- 
suasion accords  with  their  home  “form”  ; just  as  cow- 
boys or  diggers  (Artemus  Ward  tells  us)  consent  to 
be  at  least  negatively  decent,  when  missionaries  or 
women  arrive  to  remind  them  of  meeting-house  and 
“ veskits.” 

But  Chang-erh  was  too  big  a cargo  to  carry  about 
steamers  and  railways : Burma  is  more  “ oriental  ” 
than  China ; a European  traveller  needs  some  one 
who  can  coil  himself  up  on  the  door-mat ; get  up  at 
any  instant,  night  or  day ; go  to  sleep  at  any  moment 
to  kill  the  time  ; and  practise  the  innumerable  ways 
of  a “ hot  country,”  which  China  is  really  not.  Hence 
Chang-erh  and  his  wife  were  left  to  hold  the  fort 
(it  was  truly  a fortress  in  its  tremendous  strength) 
at  Bhamo,  whilst  first  Wawa  (=  “ Baby”),  a diminutive 
Yiinnanese  Christian,  lent  me  by  a French  missionary  ; 
and  then  Joseph,  a coal-black  Tamil,  a still  more 
diminutive  Madrassi  Christian,  lent  by  another  French 


58 


THE  INNOCENTS  ABROAD 


missionary,  followed  me  all  over  Burma.  Wawa  was 
forced  to  wear  a robe,  but,  “ yielding  to  the  solicitations 
of  his  friends,”  he  soon  gave  notice  to  quit. 

It  was  only  when  I was  leaving  Burma  for  good  that 
I decided  to  spring  a surprise  upon  the  local  upper  ten 
by  producing  Chang-erh  officially  in  all  his  glory  for 
their  inspection.  The  Chief  Commissioner  (now 
Lieutenant-Governor)  had  invited  me  to  dinner,  and 
Chang-erh  was  simply  informed : “ I dine  out  to-night.” 
He  put  on  his  best  blue  silk  robe,  extending  nearly 
to  the  feet ; his  two-inch  thick  yellow  satin  shoes, 
pink  satin  f ao-k'u,  or  “ bags  ” (a  sort  of  legging  or  lower 
half-hose)  ; got  his  tremendous  glossy  pigtail  (which 
in  his  younger  days  had  also  reached  to  the  toes) 
nicely  trimmed  with  red  silk  ; and,  preening  with  pride, 
presented  himself  to  lay  out  my  shirt  and  put  in  the 
studs. 

But  the  Rangoon  gharries  (cabs)  are  ramshackle 
affairs  ; and  it  was  very  showery  ; so,  instead  of  perching 
him  on  the  narrow,  uncomfortable  box,  next  to  the 
frowsy  Tamil  driver,  I said:  “You  can  go  inside.” 
Poor  Chang-erh  had  never  in  his  life  actually  sat  at 
such  close  quarters  face  to  face  with  his  terrible  master  ; 
so  he  took  a respectful  side  attitude,  with  hands  meekly 
folded,  on  the  edge  of  the  seat,  wearing  a resigned  air 
like  that  of  Mrs.  Cluppins  at  the  trial,  and,  uncertain 
whether  he  should  talk  or  not,  sheepishly  looked 
through  the  window  at  nothing  in  particular,  with  an 
uncomfortable,  vacant  stare. 


VICARIOUS  GREATNESS 


59 


Arrived  at  the  great  man’s  house,  he  leapt  eagerly 
out  of  his  cage,  and,  as  all  Chinese  servants  do  at 
home,  elbowed  his  way  through  the  various  flunkeys 
(Burmese  and  Hindoo),  to  the  servants’  department 
behind.  I then  got  out,  and  was  relieved  of  my 
hat,  etc.,  by  the  butler,  who  showed  me  in.  People 
seemed  to  be  fussing  about  something,  for  the  Tamil 
or  Burmese  butler  came  up  to  me,  and  asked  me  in 
good  English,  in  a confidential  voice  : “ What  is  the 
rank  of  that  Chinese  gentleman  who  came  in  the  same 
carriage  ? ” No  one  had  ever  seen  or  even  heard  of  a 
Chinese  “ boy  ” before,  and  as  Chang-erh  always  “ took 
charge,”  his  presence  in  the  servants’  hall  was  embarrass- 
ing ; nay,  it  was  uncertain  whether  he  was  to  sit  at  table. 
He  had  no  idea  that  anything  was  unusual  himself, 
but  waited  at  table  quite  nonchalantly.  The  ladies 
cast  cautious  but  respectful  eyes  at  the  monster,  and 
were  lost  in  admiration  of  his  hands,  which  (like  most 
Chinamen’s)  were  small  and  clean. 

When  we  got  home  and  he  brought  the  morning  tea, 
he  said:  “Your  Honour  enjoyed  great  dignity  last 
night  I saw  all  the  foreign  gentlemen  and  ladies 
admiring  me.” 


CHINESE  GAMBLERS 

As  I was  pacing  the  streets  of  Boston  or  New  York 
(at  this  moment  I forget  which),  my  eye  caught 
some  Chinese  characters  which  reminded  me  of  the 
purlieus  of  San  Francisco,  Melbourne,  Ballarat,  and 


6o 


THE  INNOCENTS  ABROAD 


other  places  where  “the  Chinezes  drive.”  I tumbled 
up  a narrow  staircase  constructed  quite  in  the  Hong- 
kong bagnio  style,  and  on  the  third  floor  saw  a 
door  open,  with  half  a dozen  Chinamen  inside, 
gazing  in  rapt  attention  upon  a gaming-board — 
fan-fa7i,  ronge-et-noir,  or  some  such  game.  From 
the  shape  of  their  nether  garments  I perceived  they 
were  Cantonese.  Though  I walked  up  close  enough 
to  peer  over  their  shoulders,  they  were  so  absorbed 
that  not  even  those  facing  me  perceived  a foreign 
countenance.  I said  in  Cantonese  ; “ What  a lot  of  men  ! ” 
Two  or  three  then  looked  up  ; but,  seeing  no  flurry 
in  my  eye,  which  I kept  fixed  on  the  counters, 
they  too  observed  that  sphinx-like  attitude  which 
comes  so  naturally  to  all  Chinese  rogues.  From 
their  glances  I could  see  that  through  the  corners  of 
their  eyes  they  were  silently  asking  each  other : 

“ Shall  we  bolt,  or  go  for  him,  or  what  ? ” 

I then  said:  “Are  you  from  Namhoi  or  P'unyii  ? ” 
(the  two  divisions  of  Canton). 

Some  one  said  : “ Hongshan,”  (Macao  region). 

They  seemed  now  to  feci  more  at  their  ease,  and 
one  asked  : “ How  did  you  get  here  ? ” 

I said : “ I dropped  from  Heaven.”  I then  went 
on  to  explain  that,  although  in  appearance  I was  a 
flowery-flag  (American)  man,  I was  really  the  re- 
embodiment of  one  of  themselves,  and  that  I had  no 
fear  whatever  ; moreover,  that  they  themselves  need 
not  be  alarmed. 


LET’S  ’EAVE  ’ARE  A BRICK  AT  ’IM  6i 


One  then  enquired : “ What  are  those  four  characters 
on  the  wall  ? ” 

I replied  : “ T'in-kun  kong-fuk"  (“ May  the  heavenly 
ruler  send  down  happiness  ”). 

“ And  those  ? ” 

And  so  it  went  on. 

Then  I said:  “Well,  I must  go  now.  No  one 
must  follow  me.  You  see  I have  proved  my 
heavenly  origin.” 

They  all  bowed  : and  said  “ M-koi,"  ( = “ bitte  sehr',' 
as  the  Germans  say). 

This  is  not  the  only  time  I have  successfully  posed 
as,  or  been  taken  for,  a quasi-supernatural  being. 
Though  Chinamen  are  rarely,  if  ever,  fools,  their 
total  ignorance  of  science,  coupled  with  their  ex- 
aggerated  and  confused  notions  of  western  discoveries, 
renders  it  easy  temporarily  to  impose  upon  their 
credulity  ; indeed,  the  “Boxer”  superstitions  of  1900 — 
for  example  those  of  immunity  from  rifle-fire — prove 
this  on  a wholesale  scale.  As  a rule,  every  missionary 
who  speaks  a local  dialect  at  all  clearly  is  known 
by  reputation  to  one,  at  least,  of  any  Chinese  group 
from  that  region : probably  after  I left  they  would 
recover  their  wits,  and  think  I was  a police-agent, 
and  perhaps  an  ex-missionary  who  had  been  in  Canton. 
But  the  whole  business  must  have  been  uncanny  to 
them,  and  I myself  was  not  sorry  to  get  safe  down 
the  staira 


CHAPTER  IV 


KINGS,  POPES,  PREMIERS,  AND 
PHILOSOPHERS 

THE  TSUNGLI  YAMEN 
OSSIBLY  things  are  changed  since  I was  there, 


and  in  any  case  my  intercourse  with  the  old  boys 
of  the  Yamcn  was  limited.  I only  saw  Prince  Kung 
once,  and  that  was  on  October  31,  1869,  when  he  came 
to  say  good-bye  to  Sir  Rutherford  Alcock.  Ch'unglun 
was  a curious  man  with  a huge,  goitrous  wen,  and 
naughty,  twinkling  eyes  ; he  specially  shone  at  the  race- 
course, or  in  telling  a risque  story.  Tung  Siin  was  a 
renowned  poet,  whose  sacred  fire  was  easily  kindled  by 
Sir  Thomas  Wade : I believe  he  inflicted  upon  the 
Peking  world  a translation  of  Childe  Harold.  Great 
men  are  usually  known  by  a mot.  Tung  SUn’s  7not  was 
“ Pi-fang  yi-t' iao-yii-a ! ” (“  for  instance,  one  piecey 
fish  ”)  ; the  wit  comes  in  through  the  simile  of  one  fish 
(England,  of  course)  leading  the  way,  and  then  others 
(minor  Powers)  following  in  a line  : also  in  the  word 
pi  fang,  “ for  instance,” — a favourite  refuge  of  foreign 


6s 


DO  AS  THE  ROMANS  DO 


63 


interpreters  when  hard  pressed  for  a word  : hence  Sir 
Rutherford’s  caustic  expression:  “//-/«?^^ing  their  way 
through  an  interview.”  Ch'englin  seemed  to  have  had 
the  end  of  his  nose  snipped  off  and  replaced  by  a piece 
of  dull  red  Turkish  pipe-clay.  The  others  were  Shen 
Kwei-fen  and  Paoyiin,  neither  of  whom  left  very  definite 
impressions  upon  my  inexperienced  and  callow  mind. 

All  Chinamen  and  Manchus  of  rank  seem  to  have  a 
“ monstrosity  ” of  some  sort : either  a fearful  goitre  ; or 
one  side  of  the  face  totally  different  from  the  other ; or 
a strange  squint  ; or  four  or  five  teeth  run  together  in 
one  piece  like  a bone ; or  a big  dinge  in  the  forehead  ; 
or  a beard  consisting  of  six  long,  stout  bristles  ; or  a 
set  of  eagle’s  claws  instead  of  nails.  In  those  days  nearly 
every  one  was  deeply  pock-marked.  All  men’s  morals 
are  plus  quant  Turkish,  for  it  is  the  Peking  custom  to 
have  them  so,  and  one  feels  a ghoulish  sort  of  sensation 
in  their  presence.  Ch'unglun  did  me  the  honour  to 
wet  his  finger  and  rub  my  cheek  to  see  if  I was 
painted;  Li  Hung-chang  patted  me,  and  put  his 
arm  round  my  neck.  It  will  be  remembered  that  the 
Emperor  Kienlung,  who  was  a notorious  old  rip, 
similarly  patted  the  head  of  Lord  Macartney’s  page. 
Sir  George  Staunton.  Their  “ room  ” is  decidedly 
better  than  their  company  when  temptation  offers, 
for  they  are  not  very  strong  in  virtue,  any  of 
them.  Perhaps  it  is  “ only  their  way  ” ; and,  after 
all,  they  are  much  more  astonished  when  they  see 
a couple  of  fat  Germans  kissing  each  other  (not  to 


64  KINGS,  POPES,  PREMIERS,  PHILOSOPHERS 


mention  efifusive  Frenchmen  and  Russians)  than  we  are 
(or  I was)  to  be  stroked  by  a Manchu  or  a Chinaman. 

It  was  great  fun  talking  to  them : they  seem  to 
loathe  business,  and  to  be  convulsed  with  merriment 
at  the  thought  of  the  British  lion  roaring  with  rage, 
just  because  a missionary  had  had  his  eye  squelched 
whilst  holding  forth  from  a barrel  in  the  streets. 
I remember  once  “ soaring  to  eloquence  ” myself  in 
describing  in  horror-stricken  language  and  earnest  tones 
how  the  “ shih-lao-ju-yii  ” (“  the  stones  fell  like  rain  ”) 
about  some  preachers’  heads.  “ Splendid ! ” said 
Ch'unglun.  “Not  bad  at  all!  You’ve  got  it  well  off 
by  heart  I Ha!  ha!  ‘The  stones  fell  like  rain!’” 
This  was  too  much  for  me ; I joined  merrily  in  the  in- 
fectious mirth,  and  the  rest  of  the  interview  was  noisy, 
hilarious,  and  anything  but  business-like.  The  fact  is 
the  Yamen  does  not  want  any  missionary  to  be  basted, 
nor  any  merchant  defrauded  : the  view  of  life  (and 
government)  it  takes  is  quite  easy  and  good-natured  : 
“ Oh ! don’t  bother ; let  things  right  themselves : we’ll 
pay  the  damage  some  time.  What  did  he  want 
preaching  there  ? ” or  “ What  did  he  sell  things  to  a 
man  like  that  for  ? ” However,  the  inevitable  crash 
has  come  at  last ; and  the  easy  old  days  are  gone 
for  ever. 


W^INSIANG 

Sir  Thomas  Wade  used  to  call  him  “the  last  of 
the  Manchus,” — meaning  that  there  were  no  others  left 


RECORD  OF  A GOOD  MAN 


65 


of  the  grand,  non-opium-smoking,  self-respecting  race 
who  for  over  two  centuries  had  ruled  the  Empire 
with  firmness  and  credit.  Wensiang  is  chiefly  re- 
markable, so  far  as  we  barbarians  are  concerned, 
for  the  oft-quoted  saying;  “You  argue  that  we  do 
not  move  quickly  enough.  Beware ! A time  may 
come,  after  China  is  once  started  on  the  path  of 
progress,  when  the  great  machine  will  roll  inexorably 
on  and  crush,”  etc.,  etc.  Sir  Robert  Hart  is  the 
most  recent  amongst  distinguished  men  to  reproduce 
this  steam-roller-like  mot  for  public  consumption. 

The  earliest  mention  I can  find  of  this  fine  old 
Manchu  statesman  is  in  1855,  when  he  was  a 
Brigadier- General  in  Sz  Ch'wan,  serving  against  the 
Kwei  Chou  revolters.  In  1858  he  was  ordered  to 
recover  Momein,  on  the  Burmese  frontier,  from  the 
Panthay  Mussulman  rebels ; and  shortly  afterwards 
we  find  him  rewarded  at  Peking  with  the  honour  of 
“ being  allowed  to  ride  a horse  within  the  imperial 
precincts.”  He  is  next  heard  ol  in  1859,  when  he 
figures  as  Master  of  the  Mint  and  an  Under-Secretary 
of  the  Board  ; later  Privy  Councillor ; and  so  on.  In 
i860  Prince  Kung,  Wensiang,  and  Kweisiang  are 
all  commended  by  the  Emperor  for  their  services  in 
settling  the  various  treaties  after  the  Anglo-French  war. 
Amongst  other  things  it  is  recorded  that  “ Thomas 
Wade  describes  Pulusi  [Prussia]  to  be  a state  of  con- 
siderable size  too,  and  one  which  for  this  reason 
cannot  be  excluded  from  treaty  benefits.” 


3 


66  KINGS,  POPES,  PREMIERS,  PHILOSOPHERS 


It  was  as  good  as  a play  to  see  Sir  Thomas  Wade 
and  Wensiang  at  a tete-a-tete.  Each  entertained 
perfect  respect  for  the  other’s  good  faith  and  ability, 
but  Wensiang  often  had  to  remonstrate  with  his 
adversary  for  not  keeping  his  temper : the  missionary 
memorandum  was  then  on  the  tapis.  On  these  occasions 
Mr.  McLeavy  Brown,  who  was  a perfect  master  both 
of  elegant  Chinese  and  of  calm  diplomatic  manner, 
used  to  take  the  Manchu  statesman  aside  for  a 
moment  and  explain  : ''  Fei  ch' i ye  ; chi  yeP  (“  It  is  not 
wrath  ; it  is  zeal  ”).  The  difference  in  “ aspirate  ” and 
“ tone  ” between  cJi  i and  chi  requires  the  possession 
of  all  one’s  linguistic  faculties  to  bring  clearly  out  ; 
and  Mr.  Brown  did  it  so  nicely  that  Wensiang  was 
mollified. 

My  own  relations  with  W'ensiang  were  phenomenally 
short,  and  were  ruthlessly  extinguished  even  at  that. 
Sir  Thomas  Wade  had  lent  me  a novel  called  The 
Fortunate  Union,  in  which  one  visitor  says  to  the 
other : “ I dare  not  bear  the  weight  of  your  jewelled 
toes.”  The  other  replies  : “ Long  have  I heard  your 
great  name,  like  unto  thunder  crashing  into  the  ear.” 
This  struck  me  as  being  rather  a sonorous  phrase,  and 
I decidedly  “ fancied  ” the  style.  I therefore  got  it 
off  quite  pat  for  use,  tones  and  all.  Just  at  that 
moment  a message  came  out  to  the  Secretariat : “ Send 
Parker  in  with  that  draft,  if  ready.”  In  I went.  As  I 
entered.  Sir  Thomas  Wade,  sitting  at  the  writing-desk, 
scowled  at  me  over  his  spectacles  ; but  old  Wensiang, 


A DIPLOMATIC  EXTINGUISHER  67 


with  inborn  politeness,  rose  from  his  chair  and  looked 
enquiringly  at  Sir  Thomas,  as  though  to  ask  : “ Who 
is  this  nice  young  man  ? ” Sir  Thomas,  with  a growl 
at  me,  waved  his  hand  impatiently  and  muttered  a 
word  of  introduction.  Wensiang  then  said  modestly 
to  me : “ Pu-kan  tang"  (“  I cannot  bear  it  ”).  Out 
then  I came  with  my  sentence,  in  a clear,  deter- 
mined voice : “ Long  have  I heard  your  great  name, 
like  unto  thunder  crashing  into  the  ear.” 

“Ah!”  said  Wensiang,  ‘^tiens!"  (to  use  the  French 
expression). 

“ God  help  us  I ” roared  Sir  Thomas  ; “ one  would 
think  he  had  the  cares  of  the  Foreign  Office  on 
his  back  ! ” (a  favourite  expression  of  his,  subsequently 
used  several  times  to  me).  “ Here,  that  will  do  1 ” So 
out  I slunk. 


THE  TAOIST  “POPE” 

More  ancient  than  Confucianism  is  the  teaching  of 
Tao,  which  syllable  means  “ Way,”  in  all  our  significa- 
tions of  the  word ; but  the  main  idea  which  runs 
through  the  whole  set  is  “the  right  Way,”  or,  simply,' 
Truth.  Volumes  have  been  written  upon  the  treatise 
supposed  to  have  been  bequeathed  to  the  world  by 
Lao-tsz,  the  accredited  apostle  of  this  teaching,  who 
also  gave  lessons  to  Confucius.  The  Chinese,  like 
ourselves,  are  more  prolific  in  literature  which  deals 
with  matters  of  imagination  and  “ belief,”  than  with 


68  KINGS,  POPES,  PREMIERS,  PHILOSOPHERS 


that  which  treats  of  plain  questions  of  fact,  provable 
by  logical  evidence,  and  “ understanded  of  the  people.” 
I take  it  that  Marcus  Aurelius  was  the  European 
thinker  of  antiquity  whose  “ form  ” nearest  approached 
that  of  Lao-tsz.  The  great  thing  is  to  “ go  on  quietly 
with  your  existing  routine,  whoever  you  are : don’t 
ever  make  a fuss  ; don’t  get  excited  or  angry  about 
whatever  disturbing  factor  turns  up  ; but  pour  oil  on 
the  troubled  waters,  and  try  to  maintain  the  status 
quo : you  have  organs  and  feelings  ; never  mind  asking 
why  ; use  them  as  nature  prompts  ; but  don’t  be  selfish, 
unfair,  or  a beast.” 

However  all  this  may  be,  a certain  Chang  Tao- 
ling,  born  about  the  time  Jesus  Christ  died,  was  a 
later  prophet  of  Taoism,  and  he  is  supposed  to  have 
“ ascended  into  Heaven  ” upon  or  from  a mountain 
called  Lung-hu  Shan  in  Kiangsi  (a  place  of  which  I was 
almost  in  sight  on  my  inland  journey  from  Foochow 
to  Wenchow  in  February,  1884).  His  descendants  have 
been  alternately  honoured  and  ignored  by  successive 
dynasties,  and  their  souls  are  supposed  to  pass  from 
one  generation  to  the  other  by  a sort  of  metem- 
psychosis, like  the  souls  of  the  Lamas  of  Tibet.  The 
Manchu  dynasty  has  consistently  ignored  them  at  court, 
and  in  1742  even  deprived  them  of  court  rank;  but 
in  1747  Kienlung  accorded  them  buttons  (local)  of  the 
fifth  grade,  in  consideration  of  their  ecclesiastical 
status. 

Well,  in  1 880  the  hereditary  “ Pope ’’Chang  Jen-cheng 


7)  TTlCTTt?  CrOU  69 

visited  Canton  in  state,  and  I went  to  see  him  in 
his  travelling  barge.  The  Chinese  officials  ignored 
him  utterly,  regarding  him  much  as  we  regard  a 
gipsy  or  a Dulcamara.  He  was  dressed  very  much 
like  any  other  official  Chinaman,  but  he  had  a quiet, 
passionless,  and  unworldly  look  about  him,  and  was 
very  well  bred.  He  appeared  to  be  a man  of  forty, 
and  he  said  he  was  the  sixty-first  in  descent.  His 
usual  designation  is  Chang  T'ien-shY,  (Celestial  Teacher 
Chang) ; but  his  own  official  title  is  that  given  him  in 
1739,  Cheng-yi/i  T a-chin-jen  (verus  unus,  magnus  purus 
vir).  He  spoke  to  me  very  kindly,  and  said  he  knew 
the  Rev.  Joseph  Edkins,  then  a Protestant  missionary  ; 
— still  living,  and  a distinguished  sinologue.  At  my 
request  he  wrote  me  a “ charm,”  which  I had  framed. 
I took  it  with  me  to  Chungking,  and,  at  Chang-erh’s 
suggestion,  hung  it  up  in  my  private  “ court  ” to  ward 
off  danger.  We  forgot  all  about  it  ; but,  when  I 
was  not  killed  during  the  riot,  the  Chinese  said  : 
“ Ah  ! how  clever ! It  was  the  Taoist  charm  that 
saved  him  ! ” (Q.E.D.) 

THE  PHILOSOPHER  CINCIUS 

This  vocable  stands  for  Tseng-tsz  (disciple  of  K'ung 
Fu-tsz,  or  Confucius),  just  as  Mencius  stands  for  Meng- 
tsz  (Menfucius  would  do  as  well).  As  my  name  in 
Chinese  mouths  had  a tendency  to  relapse  into  Bakka, 
I adopted  in  1871  the  philosopher  “ Sancius’ ” family 


70  KINGS,  POPES,  PREMIERS,  PHILOSOPHERS 


name  of  Chwang  : for  “ unpronounceable  ” reasons  the 
Russian  consul  Skatchkoff  had  styled  himself  Con- 
fucius ; whilst  the  British  consul  Mongan  had,  on 
obvious  homophonous  grounds,  called  himself  Meng.  So 
there  were  the  three  “ sages  ” at  Tientsin,  all  complete. 

A Foochow  teacher  I once  had  traced  his  descent 
man  by  man  for  eighteen  hundred  years  back  to  a well- 
known  statesman  of  antiquity.  This  curious  circum- 
stance induced  me  to  question  all  the  “ boys,”  teachers, 
barbers,  women,  and  even  children  thrown  in  my  way 
for  an  hour  at  any  time,  and  I discovered  that  the 
commonest  Chinaman  could  usually  go  back  by 
memory  for  from  two  to  five  hundred  years ; or 
even  more  by  referring  to  his  “ genealogy  ” book  at 
home : in  fact,  I published  in  the  Shanghai  Evening 
Courier  twenty  years  ago  about  a dozen  genuine 
“ lives  ” of  such  humble  folk.  On  another  occasion, 
at  Pagoda  Anchorage,  I “bet”  Dr.  Somerville  at  a 
dinner  that  his  rowdiest  stable  coolie,  if  ordered  in 
there  and  then,  and  questioned  by  me  in  his  own 
dialect,  would  give  us  off-hand  the  names  of  all  the 
Manchu  reigns,  and  of  all  the  dynasties  back  to  Kublai 
Khan  ; and  the  man  did  it  at  once. 

These  introductory  observations  lead  up  to  and  partly 
explain  an  interesting  event  which  happened  to  me 
in  the  wilds  of  Hu  Peh  ; — this  was  at  the  small  city 
of  Kienshf,  two  days’  journey  south  of  the  Yangtsze 
River.  My  civilian  mandarin  was  surnamed  Tseng,  and 
he  happened  to  be  undergoing  tonsorial  operations  in 


THEIR  BLOOD  IS  ALL  BLUE 


71 


the  inn  yard,  when  an  old  druggist  strolled  in  to  ask 
about,  and  if  possible  see,  the  barbarian.  I overheard 
their  conversation.  As  soon  as  the  old  man  (in  accord- 
ance with  custom)  gave  his  name,  my  mandarin  said  : 
“ Ah ! then  we  are  relatives.  What  is  your  branch- 
stream  ? I belong  to  the  tsiian  lot.” 

“ I am  a ki!’ 

When  I heard  this,  I went  out  to  join  in  the  causerie, 
and  said : “ Then  the  Marquess  Tseng,  the  new  envoy 
to  Great  Britain,  must  be  your  cousin,  and  Governor 
Tseng  Kwoh-ts'iian  of  Shan  Si  must  be  your  uncle.” 

“ I don’t  know  what  post  Ki-tseh  [the  Marquess] 
holds  now,  but  I know  he  is  Kwoh-fan's  son,  and  the 
Governor’s  nephew  ; moreover,  there  are  two  others  of 
the  ki  lot  holding  office  in  the  Yiin  Nan  and  Canton 
provinces  [which  was  true].  But  our  branch  migrated  a 
great  many  centuries  ago,  and  we  only  keep  genealogical 
registers  back  as  far  as  the  dynasty  of  X.  [I  forget 
how  many  hundred  years].  The  original  registers  are 
preserved  in  the  old  house  at  Confucius’  town  in  Shan 
Tung,  and  we  send  them  copies  of  our  local  registers 
at  intervals.  There  are  several  hundred  thousand  of 
us  in  China,  mostly  in  this  province,  Kiang  Si,  and 
(of  course)  Shan  Tung.  In  1330  the  Mongol  Emperor 
Tub-Temur  gave  our  original  ancestor  the  title  of 
‘Ancestral  Sage,  Duke  of  Ch'eng’  [on  the  River  Wen 
in  Shan  Tung];  but  emigrations  had  taken  place  long 
before  then.  Our  first  ancestor  \i.e.  of  the  branch]  has 
his  cemetery  at  Y .” 


72  KINGS,  POPES,  PREMIERS,  PHILOSOPHERS 


The  only  man  I ever  discovered  who  could  not  go 
back  more  than  three  generations  was  my  own  “ boy,” 
who  was  a devil-may-care  sort  of  fellow,  and  did  not 
care  twopence  about  his  ancestors  ; in  fact,  he  would 
have  left  his  own  mother  to  starve,  had  I not  for 
twenty  years  confiscated  part  of  his  wages  for  her. 
Towards  the  end  of  his  days,  however,  he  grew  quite 
filial,  and  sent  her  amongst  other  presents  a coffin, 
“ ready  for  the  event.”  He  himself  happened  to  die 
first,  after  I had  left  for  good,  in  other  service,  and  the 
mother  wrote  to  England  to  ask  me  “ how  about  my 
money  ? ” I sent  her  a few  dollars  to  “ burn  paper- 
money  for  the  wandering  soul  ” ; — in  other  words,  for 
herself.  I received  thanks  for  the  money,  with  a 
“ verbal  post-scriptum  ” sent  through  the  Legation  : “ Is 
there  no  money  for  me,  too?” 


CHINESE  ROYALTY 

“ Bon  voyage,  Parrkerre  ! Vous  allez  voyager  avec  un 
roi ! ” These  were  the  last  words  of  my  cheery 
French  host  as  we  reached  the  tiny  wharf  at  Hanoi', 
to  which  he  kindly  came  to  see  me  off.  A group 
of  French  generals,  colonels,  and  foncttonnav’es  were 
buzzing  round  his  Majesty  at  that  very  moment,  full 
of  evipresseinent  and  respect  (they  had  been  officially 
“ dining  ” him  the  night  before)  : they  took  their  most 
affectionate  leave,  (even  uinarvi\x\'g  him,  but  discreetly 
avoiding  the  kiss,)  and  the  royal  procession  at  once 


UNEASY  LIES  THE  HEAD 


73 


moved  on  board.  As  soon  as  the  steamer  had  well 
started,  I naturally  made  enquiry  as  to  who  the 
distinguished  monarch  was,  and  I was  informed  that 
he  was  un  roi  Muong  ires  guerrier,  who  had  been 
prevailed  on  by  French  diplomacy  at  last  to  throw 
in  his  lot  with  la  France.  It  so  happened  that,  three 
years  before  this,  I had,  whilst  on  leave  of  absence, 
made  a private  tour  of  my  own  to  Tonquin,  Siam, 
and  Burma,  and  had  made  independent  enquiry  as 
to  the  conflicting  claims  of  Annam,  Bangkok,  and 
Mandalay  to  the  allegiance  of  the  Shan  states,  some 
of  whose  chiefs  I had  interviewed  ; and  consequently 
I knew  all  about  the  attack  of  Tieu  Van-tri  of  Muong- 
lai  upon  Luang  Prabang  in  June,  1887;  the  flight 
of  his  Majesty  of  Luang  Prabang  to  Bangkok  ; and 
the  temporary  occupation  of  Muonglai  by  the  French 
in  January,  1888 ; in  fact,  M.  Tirant,  the  French 
Resident-General  at  Hanoi,  had  just  received  the 
latest  news  from  Muonglai,  and  was  examining  the 
maps  (which  he  showed  me),  when  I visited  his  office, 
on  March  17,  1888  : it  was  then  uncertain  whether 
Muonglai  would  “ stand  it.”  (I  may  explain  that  the 
“Muongs”  are  simply  the  Shans,  Muong  meaning  in 
their  tongue  “ country.”  The  Siamese  call  themselves 
Muong  T"ai,  “ Land  of  the  Free,”  and  the  Burmese 
call  the  Siamese  Sciam-pi,  or  Siam-land  ; but  when 
I was  first  in  these  parts  no  one  had  a very  clear 
idea  of  who  was  who.) 

When  I came  to  “ walk  round  ” the  king,  by  the 


74  KINGS,  POPES,  PREMIERS,  PHILOSOPHERS. 


identificatio  quasi  canina  of  narrowly  observing  the  seat 
of  his  trousers,  I came  to  the  conclusion  that  he  must 
be  a Cantonese,  the  foot-gear  and  limb-gear  being  for 
males  what  the  head-gear  is  for  females — a quite  certain 
mark  of  origin.  The  French  diplomatic  agent  with 
him  and  the  others  of  his  entourage  all  spoke  either 
Shan  or  Annamese ; his  Majesty  also  understood  a 
few  words  of  French.  He  was  very  independent 
and  reserved  in  his  manner  , would  not  sit  at  table 
with  Europeans  ; would  not  “ drink  ” ; and,  altogether, 
made  his  obsequious  suzerains  feel  as  the  Amir  of 
Afghanistan  likes  to  make  the  Viceroy  ol  India  feel ; 
— i.e.  “ creepy.”  Pie  was  by  no  means  a captive,  but 
an  independent  sovereign,  on  the  point  of  accepting 
over-rule.  Watching  my  opportunity,  I walked  up 
to  the  king  and  addressed  him,  quite  as  an  equal,  in 
Cantonese ; he  was  delighted,  and  replied  fluently. 
He  could  not  only  speak,  but  write  well,  and  it  turned 
out  that  his  ancestors  came  from  a place  near  Pakhoi, 
where  the  family  graves  were  still  kept  up,  and  to 
which  place  he  sent  messengers  to  sacrifice  every 
year.  The  Frenchmen  airing  themselves  on  deck  were 
naturally  intriguh  at  seeing  this  “animated  conversa- 
tion ” going  on  in  a tongue  totally  unknown  to  them 
all,  and  the  more  so  when  they  observed  the  activity 
of  my  note-book,  down  into  which  facts  were  going 
with  startling  rapidity.  The  situation  was  amusing: 
here  was  the  “enemy,”  flop  down  in  the  very  hot-bed 
of  diplomacy,  enjoying  all  the  exclusive  secrets  for 


SUCH  A DIVINITY  DOTH  HEDGE  A KING  ” 75 


himself!  However,  there  was  no  way  out  of  it : I 

turned  the  king  completely  inside  out  before  I dropped 
him  ; but  I may  inform  my  French  friends  that  I did 
nothing  naughty ; in  fact,  when  he  told  me  that,  after 
meeting  the  British  officials  in  Chiengmai,  etc.,  he 
had  decided  to  “plump”  for  France,  and  send  his 
sons  to  Paris  for  education,  I made  no  attempt  what- 
ever to  represent  to  him  the  superior  virtues  ot  Short 
(China)  or  Codlin  (Siam) ; and  said  no  word  to  which 
my  French  hosts  could,  had  they  understood  it,  have 
in  the  least  objected. 

His  real  family  name  was  Lo ; but,  like  most  of 
the  Shan  chieftains  in  the  Laos  or  “ Old  Shan  ” 
region,  he  used  the  Chinese  family  name  of  Tiao,  which 
doubtless  stands  for  the  Siamese  Tjao  (=  prince). 
He  gave  me  his  card,  inscribed  Tiao  Wen-ch'i,  which, 
in  the  Cantonese,  becomes  Tiu  Men-chi,  and  in 
Annamese  Tieu  Vdn-tri.  This  last  the  French  call 
him,  believing  him  to  be  a Shan.  Like  all  Chinese 
“ kings  ” abroad,  he  prefers  “ short  coat  and  trousers  ” 
(=  our  tweed  suit)  for  the  ordinary  purposes  of  life, 
to  the  cumbersome  boots,  yellow  jacket,  and  peacock’s 
feather  form  of  frippery. 


THE  EMPEROR  OF  ANNAM 

There  was  a good  deal  of  telegraphing  between  the 
Resident  at  Tourane,  the  Resident-General  at  Hue, 
the  Governor-General  at  Hanoi,  and  (possibly)  the 


;6  KINGS,  POPES,  PREMIERS,  PHILOSOPHERS 


President  of  the  French  Republic,  before  I was  allowed 
to  go  up  to  Hue.  However,  common  sense  prevailed, 
and  I may  state  to  my  hospitable  French  hosts  that 
I had  no  mission  whatever ; and  that  neither  the  British 
Government  nor  the  British  Minister  had  the  faintest 
idea  I was  there. — We  of  the  ruck — i.e.  those  not  acting 
officially — assembled  in  evening  dress  at  9 a.m.  at  a 
certain  palace  outhouse,  where  we  deferentially  awaited 
the  arrival  of  the  Resident’s  coach.  Then  we  marched 
through  a double  line  of  caparisoned  elephants  and 
horses  ; banners,  trumpets,  fanfaronades,  etc.,  up  to  the 
royal  h?ll  of  audience,  which  was  quite  as  dignified 
as  anything  of  the  same  kind  in  China.  The  little 
king  (locally  “ emperor  ”)  was  seated,  a la  Turque,  on 
a fine,  handsome  throne,  and  there  were  around  him 
the  usual  bearers  of  fans,  flappers,  and  fasces ; the 
eunuchs,  and  others  courtiers  and  paraphernalia  of, 
the  Far  East ; apparently  all  based  in  the  distant  past 
upon  Hindoo  ceremony.  The  Resident-Superior  read 
an  address  in  French,  uttering  the  usual  diplomatic 
verbiage  about  “ rights,”  “ liberty,”  and  other  imaginary 
advantages  which  are  never  at  all  appreciated  by 
“ protected  ” powers.  Then  the  king  read  from  the 
back  of  a yaJiu,  or  “ tablet,”  (which  Chinese  emperors 
of  old  used  to  hold  before  them  with  two  hands,)  a 
reply  in  pure  Chinese,  but  pronounced  in  Annamite 
fashion.  It  must  not  be  supposed  that  there  is  any 
(known)  connection  between  Annamese  and  Chinese  ; 
but  with  all  people  who  dabble  in  Chinese  civilisation 


I THE  KING  (^‘emperor”)  OF  ANNAM. 

I 

I 


[To  face  p.  76. 


DEUS  VOS  NOBIS  SERVET” 


77 


it  is  considered  good  form  to  use  pure  Chinese  in 
courtly  matters  : thus,  during  the  “ Boxer  ” troubles, 
the  Emperor  of  Japan  replied  to  the  Emperor  of  China 
in  perfectly  good  Chinese  taste ; his  language  was 
faultless  from  a “ high-falutin’  ” point  of  view. 

But  the  most  interesting  part  of  the  show  was  the 
native  ceremony,  after  the  European  introductions  were 
over : it  was  one  of  the  most  dignified  and  impressive 
spectacles  it  is  possible  to  conceive,  with  nothing  what- 
ever tawdry  or  serio-comic  about  it.  Far  away  in 
front  of  the  throne-hall  extended  the  vista  of  elephants 
and  troops  ; then,  out  in  the  sun,  in  front  of  the  throne- 
hall  and  above  the  elephants,  were  about  twenty  or 
thirty  double  rows  of  civil  and  military  ofificials,  all 
dressed  in  very  quaint  but  very  magnificent  court 
robes,  hats,  and  boots.  Not  even  the  highest  dignitaries 
advanced  at  any  time  more  than  a few  steps  into  the 
throne-room,  which  was  a pavilion  quite  as  large  as  the 
great  hall  of  Westminster,  and  had  its  roof  supported 
by  magnificent  teak  timber,  painted  a deep  rich  red, 
or  “ purple.”  The  emperor,  eunuchs,  and  Europeans 
were  the  only  ones  admitted  into  the  centre  of  the 
pavilion.  The  marble-paved  court  in  front  was  thus 
filled  with  mandarins,  the  military  on  one,  the  civil 
on  the  other  side  of  the  narrow  alley  running  up  the 
centre.  At  a signal  a singular  and  by  no  means  un- 
melodious  hymn  was  struck  up  ; the  whole  body  of 
ofificials  knelt  and  rose  three  times  in  slow  succession, 
kotoivm^  thrice  for  each  time  they  knelt,  all  in 


78  KINGS,  POPES,  PREMIERS,  PHILOSOPHERS 


perfect  harmony  with  the  music  ; and  pausing  to  sing 
at  each  move.  This  occupied  about  twenty  minutes, 
after  which  there  were  certain  other  ceremonies,  all 
based  upon  the  Chinese  etiquette. 

The  thing  which  struck  me  most  during  this  extra- 
ordinarily interesting  function  was  its  striking  similarity 
to  the  ceremonies  of  the  Byzantine  court,  as  related 
in  Western  history,  and  as  depicted  in  paintings.  I 
do  not  for  this  reason  rush  to  any  conclusions ; but  I 
think  it  highly  probable  that  “ ideas  ” must  have  passed 
freely  to  and  fro  between  Rome,  Constantinople,  Persia, 
Parthia,  India,  and  China  at  all  times  subsequent  to 
the  mutual  discovery,  by  East  and  West,  of  West  and 
East,  respectively,  about  two  thousand  years  ago  ; and 
that  the  means  through  which  they  filtered  in  both 
directions  must  have  been  chiefly  the  horse-riding 
Turks. 


CHINAMEN  AS  PRINCES 

Towards  the  end  of  1892  I visited  the  Siamese  Com- 
missionership  of  Junk  Ceylon — capital  town,  Tongkah. 
This  high  official  has  under  him  several  Chinese  rajahs, 
notably  those  of  Kra  and  Renoung,  both  of  whom  I 
met  at  the  latter  place,  where  I was  sumptuously  enter- 
tained by  the  “ royal  family.” 

The  existence  to-day  of  the  Chinese  adventurer 
“ dynasties  ” in  the  south  seas  helps  us  very  con- 
siderably to  understand  how  in  ancient  times  the 
feudal  states  existed  under  the  hegemony  or  nominal 


THE  RANK  IS  BUT  THE  GUINEA  STAMP”  79 


rule  of  the  kings  (in  ancient  China  the  Monarch,  or 
King,  had  not  the  same  Imperial  title  as  to-day),  and 
how  enterprising  Chinamen  established  petty  dynasties 
in  the  Corean,  Annamese,  and  Tibetan  regions.  The 
I palace  and  tombs  at  Renoung  were  modelled  on  the 
I same  scale  in  theory  (though  of  course  less  spacious 

I in  practice)  as  those  of  Peking  and  Annam.  The 

; divissimus,  or  “ founder  ” of  the  dynasty,  was  a pros- 
perous “ Zaitun  ” trader  from  Changchou  Fu,  near 
f Amoy,  whom  the  King  of  Siam,  Phra  Chom  Klao, 
made,  first,  “ Lord,”  and  then  Governor-General  of 
' Renoung.  The  four  sons  of  the  first  rajah  are  now 
I independent  of  each  other,  and  also  rule  Kra,  Trang, 
and  Langshun  provinces,  in  consideration  of  paying 
j tribute  and  homage  to  the  King  of  Siam.  Not  one  of 
them  smokes  opium  ; and  they  form  together  a vast 
commercial  union,  something  in  principle  like  that  of 
ji  the  Rothschilds,  but,  naturally,  with  infinitely  smaller 
scope.  In  accordance  with  Chinese  views  of  happi- 
I ness,  they  breed  like  rabbits  ; for  to  have  “ his  quiver 

ji  full  of  them  ” is  the  bean  ideal  of  a righteous  and 

i much-married  man. 

I; 

j-  But  the  most  striking  thing  of  all  is  the  mild- 
f ness,  firmness,  impartiality,  and  justice  of  their 

I rule.  With  the  exception  of  a handful  of  Burmese 

and  Madrassis,  their  subjects  are  entirely  Chinese, 
Siamese,  and  Malays  ; yet  they  exact  no  “ crawling  ” 
rights  or  kotow  forms,  and,  except  on  sacrificial  occa- 
sions, wear  the  short  jacket,  loose  pantaloons,  billycock, 

'I  ' 


I 


8o  KINGS,  POPES,  PREMIERS,  PHILOSOPHERS 


and  foreign  boots  of  the  Penang  Chinese  under 
British  rule ; the  whole  corresponding  to  what  we 
should  call  “ cow-boy  ” or  “ shirt-sleeves  ” attire,  as, 
worn,  for  instance,  in  Fiji  government  circles,  where  the 
not  inelegant  shirt  (no  braces)  was  quite  the  thing 
with  Governor  Thurston.  In  fact,  though  nominally 
Siamese,  these  rajahs  belong  to  the  Penang  or  English 
“ sphere  of  influence,”  which  is  perfectly  honest,  and 
quite  innocuous  to  the  political  rights  of  Siam. 

When  the  Chinese  rajahs  do  homage  at  the  Siamese 
court,  they  have  to  conceal  the  pigtail  (to  which 
Manchu  badge  all  Chinese  fondly  cling,  now  out  of 
mere  habit),  and  wear  Siamese  uniform.  The  Chinese 
official  dress  is  put  on  when  ancestral  sacrifices  are 
performed.  No  lodges  or  “ secret  ” societies  are 
tolerated ; for  the  laxity  of  the  British  government 
had  allowed  the  rival  lodges  of  Singapore  to  squabble 
and  wax  dangerous,  and  even  to  extend  the  scope 
of  their  operations  beyond  the  legitimate  sphere 
recognised  by  the  best  Chinese  members ; which  evil 
example  had  showed  signs  of  spreading  to  Burma 
and  other  places. 

A smartly  manned  gig,  a brisk  dog-cart,  and  a com- 
fortable bungalow  were  placed  at  my  disposal ; I was 
shown  all  the  industries  and  the  sights  ; and  I left 
the  place  more  impressed  than  ever  with  the  admirable 
business  capacities,  the  sterling  honesty,  and  the  manly 
dignity  of  the  Chinese  emigrant  class,  when  given  a 
free  hand  to  work  out  its  own  salvation.  Neither 


A LOST  KINGDOM 


8i 


the  French,  nor  the  Dutch,  nor  the  Spaniards,  nor  the 
Americans  sufficiently  understand  the  art  of  letting  China- 
men alone,  an  inactivity  in  which  we  ourselves  excel. 


VAE  VICTIS 

The  story  of  the  Panthay  massacres  is  one  of  the 
saddest  in  Chinese  history,  and,  knowing  all  the 
particulars  of  it,  I went  to  see  the  late  Sultan’s  son. 
Prince  Hassan,  directly  I heard  he  was  living  in 
Rangoon,  where,  as  at  Bhamo,  his  father  the  Sultan 
had  once  had  several  trading-houses.  He  occupied  an 
ordinary  villa,  not  very  well  kept  up,  in  the  outskirts 
of  the  town,  and  drew  a pension  from  the  British,  or 
£ rather,  perhaps,  from  the  Indian  Government,  for  which 
favour  he  was  apparently  very  grateful.  He  was  a 
stout,  grave,  and  not  unusually  intellectual  Chinaman,  of 
what  may  be  called  the  Turkish  or  Persian  type;  that 
is,  he  bore  no  traces  of  the  distinctive  Mongol,  Manchu, 
Tibetan,  or  Indo-Chinese  features  which  sometimes 
peep  out  in  the  northern,  western,  or  southern  China- 
man : (there  is  no  such  thing  known  in  China  as  a 
Japanese  type). 

I am  not  sure  whether  I remember  this  point 
correctly,  but  I think  he  told  me  that  he  himself  had 
been  one  of  the  two  envoys  sent  by  his  father  to 
London  in  1872,  with  the  object  of  inducing  Great 
Britain  to  accept  suzerainty  over  the  expiring  Mussul- 
man kingdom.  This  was  at  a time  when  the  victorious 

6 


82  KliNTGS,  POPES,  PREMIERS,  PHILOSOPHERS 


General  Ts'en  Yiih-ying  and  his  lieutenant  Yang 
Yuh-k'o  (nicknamed  “the  monkey”)  were  gradually 
closing  in  upon  the  Panthay  capital  of  Tali  Fu. 
Francis  Gamier,  whom  I met  at  Hankow  in  April, 
1873,  told  me  he  had  managed  at  great  personal  risk 
to  get  into  Tali  Fu  in  the  Sultan’s  time;  this  was  on 
the  occasion  of  his  splendid  journey  with  the  Lagree 
mission  through  the  Shan  states  in  1868  ; but  on 
the  English  side  Major  Sladen  was  not  allowed  to 
advance  from  Burma  beyond  Momein  (now  a consular 
station  on  the  Yiin  Nan  frontier).  At  that  time 
Suliman  (for  that  was  what  the  “Sultan  ” Tu  Wen-siu 
called  himself)  was  in  the  heyday  of  his  power  ; still, 
the  eastern  parts  of  YUn  Nan  were  adversely  held  in 
the  Chinese  Emperor’s  name  by  the  “ Lao  Papa,”  or 
“ Old  Pope”; — that  is,  by  Ma  Teh-hing,  a Mahommedan 
hadji  of  high  character  who  had  abandoned  the  Sultan, 
and  had  accepted  the  post  of  Imperial  Viceroy  at 
Yunnan  Fu  in  order  to  save  further  civil  war  and 
useless  bloodshed. 

Ma  Teh-hing,  under  the  name  of  Ma  Fu-ch'u,  had,  in 
1842,  made  the  pilgrimage  to  Mecca  by  way  of  Burma, 
and  in  February,  1893,  I met  at  Bhamo  another  Chinese 
Mussulman  from  Ho  Nan  province  taking  the  same 
route.  The  city  of  Tali  Fu  had  no  sooner  fallen, 
than  the  treacherous  Chinese  Brigadier- General  Ma 
Chung,  of  Yiinnan  P'u,  massacred  the  Mussulman 
Viceroy  too,  who,  though  he  had  long  held  the  city  as 
a renegade  in  the  imperialists’  favour,  was  now  of  no 


GREATER  LOVE  HATH  NO  MAN  83 


further  use  to  them,  and  was  even  much  to  be  dreaded 
in  his  capacity  of  local  Pope  for  Islam. 

The  death  of  Prince  Hassan’s  father  Suliman  is  thus 
described  : The  Chinese  commander  promised  to  spare 
the  city  if  he  surrendered.  As  his  people  were  weary 
of  war,  and  he  was  therefore  not  unwilling  to  be 
sacrificed  on  their  behalf,  he  first  sent  in  his  official 
seal  as  token  of  submission  ; then  he  robed  himself  in 
his  best,  destroyed  his  valuables,  and  forced  his  wives 
and  children  to  commit  suicide.  Finally,  he  got  into 
his  sedan-chair,  and  was  carried  through  the  crowds  of 
his  weeping  people  to  Yang  Yiih-kVs  camp.  His 
manner  was  so  bewildered  when  he  got  there  that  he 
could  do  little  more  than  gasp  out  an  entreaty  that  his 
people  might  be  spared.  It  was  soon  evident  that  he 
had,  more  sinense,  taken  a slow  poison,  in  order  to  avoid 
a shameful  public  death  ; and  he  was  successful,  in  so 
far,  at  least,  that  he  died  before  they  could  hurry  him 
away  in  his  chair  to  Ts'en  Yiih-ying’s  headquarters. 
The  next  day  the  corpse  was  decapitated,  and  the  head 
embalmed,  for  transport  in  triumph  to  Peking.  Prince 
Hassan  was  not  inclined  to  be  communicative  upon 
these  tragic  matters  ; but  he  was  very  much  interested 
in  all  questions  concerning  local  Mussulmans,  and 
very  pleased  indeed  when  I caused  to  be  sent  to 
him  a copper  seal  and  some  Mussulman  archives 
brought  from  the  Kachyn  state  of  Muongpo,  near 
Sefan,  which  had  taken  part  in  the  war  on  the  Panthay 
side.  He  is  visiting  Mecca  this  summer  (1901). 


84  KINGS,  POPES,  PREMIERS,  PHILOSOPHERS 


THE  WILD  KACHYNS 

The  Japanese  have  a saying:  " Ftats-ki  demo,  djibun 
no  uchi” — literally  “Pair-spread  though-be,  self  his 
house,”  or  “ Cock  on  one’s  own  dung-hill.”  I believe 
the  proper  way  is  to  write  “ Futatsu-shiki"  (“  a couple  of 
mats  ”),  or  “ San-shiki"  (“  three  ”) ; but  it  was  said  to  me 
exactly  as  above,  in  reference  to  an  old  Nagasaki  “ pub.” 
which  the  paternal  British  Government  had  bought  for 
me,  and  had  put  up  at  Chemulpho,  as  a vice-consulate. 
The  saying  forcibly  recurred  to  me  when  the  King 
of  Pontu,  sitting  on  the  soft  side  of  a muddy  and 
jagged  stone,  clothed  as  to  his  nether  regions  with 
a short  pair  of  ragged  cotton  drawers,  and  as  to  his 
“upper  circle”  with  a short  jacket  of  the  same 
unwashed  material,  was  deferentially  served  with  his 
dinner.  The  banquet  in  question  consisted  of  about 
half  a pound  of  coarse  red  rice,  “ dished  ” up  in  a fresh 
banana  leaf ; and  about  a quarter  of  a pound  of  what 
we  call  “ kewins  ” in  Liverpool — i.e.  periwinkles.  They 
were  ready  picked  out  for  him,  and  handed  up  in  a 
second  banana  leaf.  As  with  many  people  in  the  Far 
East,  the  king  scrupulously  used  the  right  hand  only 
for  fingering  his  food.  After  the  repast  was  over,  he 
blew  his  nose  with  the  left-hand  fingers,  and  royally 
wiped  them  on  the  attendant’s  trousers. 

His  Majesty,  like  most  of  his  kind,  dwelt  with  his 
population  on  one  hill,  which  was  his  kingdom.  I 
was  again  reminded  of  a story,  told  by  the  Chinese 


PRAESENS  DIVUS  HABEBITUR  AUGUSTUS  85 


philosopher  Chwang-tsz,  about  the  fearful  war  which 
once  raged  between  the  bacilli^  or  microbes,  which  lived 
on  the  right  feeler  of  a dying  snail,  and  their  rivals 
living  on  the  left.  The  snail’s  death  brought  history 
to  an  end.  But  this  man  of  Pontu  was  a real  monarch, 
and  the  much-superior-looking  man  who  served  him 
was  of  noble  birth.  Before  a Kachyn  engages  in 
conversation  with  a stranger,  it  is  said  he  always  asks  : 
“Are  you  a noble  or  a commoner?”  This  particular 
monarch  was  a political  prisoner  of  Great  Britain — a 
sort  of  unmounted  De  Wet.  There  had  been  a good 

deal  of  fighting,  and  one  or  two  valuable  British 

officers  had  lost  their  lives.  A “ column  ” was  sent  to 
Pontu  on  the  Chinese  frontier  to  demand  submission 
and  tribute ; the  tribute  in  this  case  consisted  of  a 
few  hundredweight  of  straw  required  by  our  garrison 

for  thatching  the  roofs  of  the  fort  at  Sima.  The 

houses  of  the  Kachyns  are  as  roomy,  and  in  every  way 
excellent,  as  the  Kachyns  themselves  are  insignificant. 
I and  half  a dozen  officers  slept  luxuriously  in  one 
compartment  of  the  “ male  ” end  of  the  king’s  house, 
the  females  taking  advantage  of  our  candles  to  peep 
at  us  from  the  obscurity  of  his  harem. 

The  king  had  to  come  in  person,  and  as  he  spoke 
Chinese  fairly  well,  and  none  of  the  Sikhs,  Goorkhas, 
or  British  officers  spoke  a word  of  it,  he  attached  him- 
self by  preference  to  me,  and  walked  back  a portion 
of  the  second  day’s  journey  by  my  side.  But  the 
curious  part  of  the  whole  business  was  the  deference 


86  KINGS,  POPES,  PREMIERS,  PHILOSOPHERS 


with  which  this  ragged  chief  was  treated  by  his 
own  man. 

A recent  picture  in  one  of  the  illustrated  papers 
shows  Li  Hung-chang  looking  into  a kinetoscope,  sur- 
rounded by  his  “ boys  ” and  coolies.  This  is  exactly  the 
attitude  in  which  I once  saw  the  Emperor’s  late  father, 
surrounded  by  a lot  of  street  boys — and  by  myself 
Once  I saw  the  Viceroy  Liu  K'un-yih  take  the  pipe 
which  a slave  had  just  puffed  into  a blaze  for  him, 
rub  his  thumb  carelessly  over  the  mouthpiece,  and  then 
smoke  the  wet  pipe  himself  The  fact  is,  despite  the 
power  possessed  by,  and  the  immense  respect  shown 
to  the  ruling  classes  in  China,  there  is  an  easy  feeling 
of  human  equality  all  round.  They  are  no  snob.s. 
Even  the  old  Empress-Dowager,  in  her  flight  from 
Peking,  found  time  to  “chaff”  a kneeling  magistrate  on 
the  road,  who  had  brought  her  a good  hot  dinner,  on 
the  excellence  of  his  cook.  She  also  asked  him  for 
some  clothes. 

He  said : “In  this  poor  district  there  are  no 
luxuries,  and  all  I have  is  the  coarse  outfit  of  a 
poor  concubine  I have  brought  to  live  with  me.” 

The  Empress  said  : “ Oh ! don’t  make  a fuss  ; we 
are  cold,  and  don’t  mind  about  forms  and  ceremonies. 
Ch'i  yao  nwan-ho,  chin  sJu-lo ! ” (“  All  I want  is  to 
be  warm  ! ”) 

This  Chinese  Raleigh,  to  his  disgust,  was  made  a pre- 
fect, and  forced  to  “Come  along.”  The  whole  story  of  the 
flight  is  most  amusing,  and  some  day  I may  tell  more  of  it. 


UNEXPECTED  HONOURS 


87 


HIS  HOLINESS  THE  POPE 

Pope  Leo  the  Thirteenth  would  hardly  look  to  Hoihow 
for  pronouncements  upon  the  Vatican ; but  I may 
mention  that,  in  the  archives  of  that  swinish  metropolis, 
his  Holiness  figures  as  shi,  which  character  by  a very 
curious  coincidence  means  both  “a  lion”  and  “a  supreme 
teacher  ” ; in  fact,  it  means  “ a Pope,”  for  it  was  applied 
by  Kublai  to  Paghsba  and  his  successors,  and  is  still 
applied  to  the  Taoist  Pope,  The  whole  papal  theory 
is  left  on  record  in  Chinese  at  Hoihow  in  connection 
with  the  official  preservation  of  the  Jesuit  tombs  there, 
and  the  names  of  their  Holinesses  have  been  duly 
raised  three  pegs  or  two  pegs,  like  the  Chinese  Emperors, 
or  divi,  according  to  whether  dead  or  alive. 

However,  that  is  not  the  immediate  point.  There 
was  quite  a plethora  of  distinguished  French  visitors 
about  this  time ; one  day  the  new  French  Minister 
suddenly  appeared  unannounced  by  my  bedside  ; a week 
later  the  Acting  Governor-General  of  Indo-China  most 
hospitably  required  my  presence  at  dinner  on  board  his 
steamer.  But  on  the  occasion  here  referred  to  a card 
was  handed  to  me  on  behalf  of  “ Monsignor  Termoz, 
Domestic  Chaplain  to  his  Holiness  the  Pope.”  He  was 
accompanied  by  another  cleric  named  Rossel,  and  like 
all  other  persons  in  doubt  or  difficulty  at  Hoihow, 
inevitably  found  his  w^y  to  the  British  Consulate 
for  comfort  and  refreshment.  We  all  took  a walk  to 
see  Father  Diegues  (otherwise  known  as  Father 


88  KINGS,  POPES,  PREMIERS,  PHILOSOPHERS 


Diogenes),  and  then  went  on  to  “ the  stricken  field  ” 
to  inspect  the  Jesuit  tombs  ; so  that  persons  interested 
in  those  remains  now  know  to  whom  they  may  go  for  a 
voucher  ; and  I may  take  this  opportunity  of  saying  that 
the  much-abused  though  “ heretical  ” English  Govern- 
ment, at  my  request,  paid  ten  pounds  for  the  protection 
of  the  said  tombs,  which  tombs  the  Roman  Catholics  as 
a body  ought  in  future  to  care  for  themselves,  as  the 
Portuguese  mission  is  too  poor.  (I  hope  that  the 
Secretary  of  State,  who  is  responsible  for  the  grant, 
will  not  monopolise  all  the  reward  for  this  good  act 
in  the  next  world,  but  leave  a wee  crumb  for  me.) 

However,  the  bishop’s  visit  is  used  here  simply  as  a 
peg  on  which  to  hang  the  subject  of  presents,  which 
are  a great  nuisance  in  China.  My  own  plan  (being, 
unlike  Mr.  Wemmick,  a firm  disbeliever  in  the  value 
of  portable  property)  was,  when  any  European  gave 
or  sent  me  a fancy  present,  to  pass  it  on  instantly  to 
the  nearest  deserving  Chinese ; and  when  a mandarin 
sent  me  anything  more  ornamental  than  useful,  to  send 
it  or  give  it  to  the  first  “ foreign  ” person  I saw  or  thought 
of  Only  a week  previously,  a customs  officer,  who  had 
been  dismissed,  asked  me  to  assist  him  by  purchasing 
at  a valuation  a silver  epergne  ; just  then  the  taotai  was 
cashiered  too,  and  the  epergne  came  in  very  handy  as 
a consolation  present.  As  the  episcopal  party  returned 
fatigued  from  their  outing  (the  bishop,  by  the  way,  was 
“ accommodated  with  a chair,”  and  Pfere  Rossel,  who 
pluckily  tried  to  walk,  soon  collapsed,  and  had  to  be 


ET  DONA  FERENTES 


89 


chaired  too),  after  we  had  all  had  a bath  and  (including 
the  bishop)  a glass  of  whiskey  and  soda,  we  assembled 
in  that  compartment  of  my  barn  variously  known  as  the 
office,  the  sitting-,  dining-,  or  drawing-room  ; and  what 
should  we  see  there  but  a gigantic  screen  of  the  most 
gorgeous  colouring,  together  with  some  other  presents. 
I forget  who  sent  me  this,  or  what  (if  anything)  I had 
done  to  deserve  it.  The  rule  in  China  is  to  accept  part 
of  a gift,  and  then  “ tip  ” according  to  its  value  ; or  to 
reject  the  whole,  and  “ tip  ” with  great  sagesse.  You 
cither  write  on  the  card  : “ X.  respectfully  detains  screen 
one  piecey  ; remaining  gems  are  excluded  with  thanks,” 
or,  simply:  “X.  excludes  with  thanks.”  On  this  occasion 
the  whole  of  the  gems  were  detained  without  exclusion, 
and  at  once  made  over  to  the  bishop,  who  was 
delighted,  and  undertook  the  serious  business  of  con- 
veying them  to  Rome,  where  I trust  they  adorn  some 
worthy  nook  of  the  Vatican.  (1  paid  the  “ tip.”) 

In  connection  with  presents,  I may  add  that  it  is 
the  custom  at  the  New  Year  for  consuls  to  send  a few 
discreet  or  elegant  trifles  to  the  authorities  and  charge 
them  to  the  public  under  the  head  of  “ New  Year’s  com- 
plimentary gifts  to  the  . . The  scraggy  poultiy  and 
other  edible  gems  received  in  return  I used  to  give  to 
the  constable  and  the  “ boys.”  On  one  occasion  a 
waggish  colleague  of  mine,  carried  away  by  a caco'ethes 
alliterationis,  simply  stuck  down  “ Turkey  for  taotai”  ; 
much  to  the  horror  of  the  Foreign  Office,  which  promptly 
(in  the  person  of  its  Chief  Clerk)  called  for  explanations. 


CHAPTER  V. 

ROWS’— MISSIONARY  AND  OTHER 
A ROW  WITH  STUDENTS 


HE  overland  journey  from  Kewkiang  (in  Kiang 


Si)  to  Hankow  is  remarkable  because  not 
one  yard  of  it  lies  in  Kiang  Si.  You  cross  the 
Yangtsze  on  starting  from  Kewkiang,  and  after  five 
days’  hard  travelling  you  traverse  it  again  at  Paho ; 
yet  in  Hu  Peh  province  all  the  time : it  must  be 
crossed  a third  time  at  Wuchang  (Hankow).  The 
people  are  (or  were)  very  disagreeable  all  the  way. 
Chang-erh  was  allowed  a small  chair,  as  it  was  not 
easy  for  him.  to  tramp  thirty  or  forty  miles  a day 
and  look  after  me  too.  On  this  occasion  I also 
contented  myself  with  a small  native  two-bearer 
chair,  and  consequently  the  ol  iroXKoi  had  no  very 
clear  idea  who  and  what  we  were : the  “ boy  ” was 
transformed  by  them  into  the  ta-lao-ye,  or  lao-ye, 
and  I was  the  ta-jcn : (“  old  sire,”  “ great  old  sire,” 
and  “ great  man,”  roughly  stand  for  “ your  worship,” 
“ your  honour,”  “ your  excellency  ”).  But  when  we  got 


90 


WHO  IS  THIS  VARLET? 


91 


to  the  town  of  Paho  (=  River  Pa),  at  the  mouth 
of  a tributary  of  the  Yangtsze,  we  found  the  place 
unusually  crowded  with  students  on  their  way  to 
the  capital  of  Wuchang  for  examination,  and  it  was 
not  easy  to  secure  any  quarters  at  all,  not  to  say 
privacy.  Every  table  in  the  open  or  restaurant  part 
of  the  inn  was  crowded,  and  the  sleeping  “ bins  ” 
were  of  the  smallest  and  stuffiest.  However,  whilst 
Chang-erh  was  making  my  bed  and  arranging  my 
effects,  I did  my  best  to  answer  questions  and 
satisfy  the  students’  curiosity : “ Don’t  you  feel  cold 
in  such  tight  clothes?”  “Have  you  rice  in  your 
country  ? ” “ Is  it  true  that  there  is  a country  where 

they  carry  men  on  poles  run  through  the  belly  ? ” 
“ Have  you  a wife  and  children  ? ” “ Are  you  not 

afraid  of  swallowing  the  fork  ? ” etc.,  etc. 

After  an  hour  of  this  it  began  to  get  wearisome, 
so,  as  soon  as  I had  entertained  the  company  by 
eating  my  dinner  in  their  presence,  I bowed  my 
leave,  moved  towards  the  compartment  allotted  to 
me,  filled  my  pipe,  and  lay  down  to  read.  Sud- 
denly the  light  wooden  door  flew  open,  and  a 
student,  flushed  with  wine,  burst  rudely  in,  sat  on 
my  bed,  took  the  pipe  out  of  my  mouth,  and  began 
to  smoke  it.  On  this  I “ up  with  my  fist  ” and  gave 
him  one  straight  in  the  chest,  knocking  the  partition 
down  and  him  over  it,  and  creating  noisy  havoc 
among  the  tables  and  crockery  outside.  There  was 
a fearful  uproar  at  once,  every  one  shouting  that  I 


92  “ROWS”— MISSIONARY  AND  OTHER 


had  struck  literary  men,  had  used  “ arguments  of 
force,”  and  so  on.  The  students  gathered  up  frag- 
ments of  broken  furniture  and  assumed  a “hold-me- 
back-lest-I-should-break-his-head  ” kind  of  posture. 

At  that  instant  I was  putting  on  my  dressing- 
gown  and  smoking-cap  (a  fez),  and  Chang-erh,  quite 
calmly,  waved  his  hand,  saying : “ Come,  come,  the 
great  man  is  putting  his  official  uniform  on ; you 
can’t  strike  an  official.”  I chimed  in  by  calling  out  in  a 
peremptory  tone  of  voice  for  the  landlord,  and  ordering 
him  to  fetch  the  tipao.  (The  tipao,  or  “ local  guarantor,” 
is  a curious  Chinese  institution,  like  a “whipping- 
boy.”  He  is  nominally  Monsieur  le  Maire,  but  in 
reality  he  is  often  a hired  ruffian  or  toper,  who,  for 
a consideration,  acts  as  spokesman  to  the  muni- 
cipality, and  incurs  all  the  penalties  : it  is  as  though 
the  Lord  Mayor  should  keep  a greengrocer  at  fifteen 
shillings  a week  to  listen  to  the  warnings  of  the  Chief 
Justice.)  When  the  tipao  came,  1 gave  him  all  sorts 
of  orders,  and  demanded  various  forms  of  satisfaction, 
hinting  that  on  my  arrival  at  Wuchang  I should 
speak  to  the  Viceroy.  Things  gradually  quieted  down  ; 
but  I felt  very  uneasy  in  my  bin  during  the  night, 
for  I overheard  many  a discussion  as  to  my  status, 
and  as  to  the  advisability  of  “going  for  me.” 

THE  C.A.GED  WARRIOR 

ChiNKIANG  is  a disagreeable  centre  for  soldier  riots  ; 
for,  being  at  the  parting  of  the  ways  for  canal,  river. 


A PIG  IN  A POKE 


93 


or  land  routes,  it  has  large  Tartar  and  Chinese  per- 
manent camps ; and  besides,  there  are  always  remounts, 
reinforcements,  and  escorts  passing  through  to  other 
provinces.  Naturally,  these  men  like  to  stroll  on  the 
settlement  and  steal  a look  at  the  foreign  devils. 

When  I was  there,  certain  Europeans  used  to  connive 
at  gaming-houses,  and  take  shares  in  native  theatres  ; 
not  to  mention  the  pawnshops,  drinking-houses,  and 
' other  places  even  less  orthodox ; all  flourishing  under 

I the  sacred  nose  of  Her  Majesty’s  Consul.  I had 

' already  had  plenty  of  experience  in  soldier  “ rows  ” 
on  the  Kewkiang  settlement  in  1872-4;  but  Chinkiang 
was  a much  rowdier  place,  both  from  a native  and 
a foreign  point  of  view.  Consequently  the  municipal 
police  had  plenty  of  work ; and  if  the  soldiers  did  no 
j worse,  they  “committed  a nuisance.” 
j For  this  last  crime  one  strolling  warrior  was  arrested 
I when  I was  there,  and  he  promptly  punched  the 
I policeman’s  head.  He  was  at  last  overpowered  by 
I others,  and  temporarily  lodged  in  the  consular  gaol, 

I 

the  keeper  of  which  was  a one-eyed  old  soldier  named 
I Joshua  Nunn,  who  boasted  several  medals,  and  had 
I served  his  country  bravely  and  well  in  the  wars. 

! Some  more  soldiers  soon  gathered  round,  and  began 
I to  threaten  a rescue,  and  even  to  burn  down  the 
j Consulate. 

I Quickly  giving  orders  to  plucky  old  Nunn  to  lock 
I the  man  up  in  his  strongest  cell,  I just  sent  a pencil 
I message  round  by  the  fing-ch'ai  to  each  of  three 


94  “ROWS”— MISSIONARY  AND  OTHER 


sturdy  Britishers : “ Please  step  round  with  your  gun  ; 
I expect  a row.” 

In  less  than  five  minutes,  round  they  came.  A table 
and  chairs  were  set  outside  the  front  door,  and  we 
four  sat  there,  guns  or  rifles  in  hand.  I am  not  quite 
sure  but  what  they  were  the  new  rifles  just  about 
then  served  out  to  all  the  consulates  in  order  to  meet 
such  eventualities  ; it  was  the  Spark  piracy  that  had 
set  us  all  on  the  qui  vive. 

The  Consulate  stood  (like  most  British  Consulates) 
on  the  most  commanding  elevation  ; in  this  case  at 
least  fifty  feet  above  the  road,  with  a steep  mountain 
behind.  About  two  hundred  unruly  soldiers  gathered 
round  the  lower  enclosure ; but  when  they  saw  us 
armed,  quietly  sitting  and  smoking  at  the  door,  they 
did  not  “come  on."  Meanwhile,  a written  message 
was  sent  to  General  T'ao  of  the  permanent  camp, 
half  a mile  off,  stating  that  the  man  would  not  be 
released  unless  he,  the  general,  came  in  person  to 
identify  and  punish  him. 

In  about  half  an  hour  down  came  General  T'ao  in 
his  chair,  with  Colonel  P'eng  on  his  charger,  and  the 
usual  rabble  of  a suite.  It  was  explained  to  the  two 
officers  that  there  was  no  desire  to  claim  jurisdiction 
over,  or  in  any  way  be  harsh  to  the  arrested  man, 
but  that  it  must  be  clearly  understood  in  future  that 
if  any  soldiers,  or  even  officers,  came  upon  the  settle- 
ment, they  would  be  forced  to  obey  the  municipal 
bye-laws  ; and  the  consul  was  municipal  chairman. 


>JI)ER  (1368  98)  OF  THE  MING  DYNASTY  (VISITED  FROM  CIIINKIANC). 
(His  son  Yiing'loh  moved  to  IVkinp) 


PARA  BELLUM 


95 


General  T'ao  did  not  seem  to  like  his  position  very 
much ; but  he  was  civil.  He  went  with  me  to  the 
prison,  and  spoke  to  the  man  through  the  cell  bars. 
The  result  of  it  was  that  the  soldier  received  about 
twenty  slight  bastinado-strokes  on  the  spot ; and  all 
was  settled. 

Twelve  years  later  (1889)  a somewhat  similar  riot 
occurred,  and  the  Consulate  was  burnt  down.  I was 
in  England  at  the  time,  and  therefore  only  speak  from 
hearsay.  The  cause  was  the  same, — dissatisfaction  of 
I the  Chinese  with  the  somewhat  fussy  behaviour  of 
the  municipal  police,  who  had  just  before  that  arrested 
a military  officer  for  “ reckless  riding.”  Soldiers  (three 
hundred)  were  sent  from  the  camp  to  “ protect  ” the 
Consulate,  where  the  policeman,  in  this  last  case,  had 
taken  refuge ; but,  of  course,  three  hundred  Chinese 
I soldiers,  who  never  do  more  than  “ look  on,”  are  not 
worth  four  well-armed  Britishers  who  are  prepared 
to  shoot.  Hence  the  mob  simply  rushed  in  unimpeded, 
and  burnt  the  place,  the  consul  and  his  wife  barely 
escaping  with  their  lives  by  clambering  down  the 
mountain  side,  half-dressed,  to  a friendly  steamer. 

A “MISSIONARY  ROW” 

On  September  15,  1880,  “there  was  not  a cloud  on 
the  horizon,”  as  Lord  Granville  had  remarked  the  day 
before  the  Franco-Russian  war  broke  out.  By  a 
singular  coincidence,  the  very  day  before  the  events 


96  “ROWS”— MISSIONARY  AND  OTHER 


now  to  be  narrated,  a complimentary  despatch  ad- 
dressed to  consular  officers  from  Lord  Granville  had 
reached  Canton,  and  the  English  and  French  consuls 
were  both  doing  a little  desipere  in  loco  at  Macao  ; so 
quiet  things  were.  The  Chinese  writers  had,  for  some 
reason,  gone  away  rather  early.  It  was  about  3.30,  a 
very  hot  day,  and  I had  just  finished  “ tiffin,”  sent  off 
my  guests,  and  was  drinking  my  coffee  alone,  when  a 
note  from  Fere  Beal  was  placed  in  my  hands:  it  was 
to  the  effect  that  an  attack  on  the  cathedral  was 
threatening. 

In  “rows”  of  this  kind  it  is  important  to  look 
sharp,  as  five  minutes  may  make  all  the  difference ; 
and  in  any  case  a Chinese  writer  (even  if  present) 
takes  at  least  half  an  hour  to  fumble  about  with  his 
inkstand,  his  draft,  his  fine  phrases,  and  his  caligraphy. 
I never  hesitated  to  make  a shift  for  myself  when 
pressed  for  time,  and  now  therefore  jotted  a few  words 
down  in  pencil  on  the  consul’s  visiting-card,  so  that  a 
man  was  off  to  the  Viceroy’s  in  less  than  five  minutes. 
The  cathedral  was  about  two  miles  away,  and  the 
Viceroy’s  yamen  four. 

In  a short  time  more  urgent  messages  came  from 
several  of  the  Rev.  PP.,  and  they  continued  to  come 
at  intervals,  varied  by  personal  visits,  every  half-hour 
or  so,  for  some  hours.  It  was  soon  necessary  to  explain 
to  the  Viceroy  that  the  French  consul  was  away ; and 
finally,  as  the  correspondence  to  and  fro  and  the  verbal 
messages  became  more  frequent,  to  confess  that  the 


THE  VICEROY  MOBBED 


97 


English  consul  was  not  there  either.  Still,  in  such 
cases  the  Chinese  are  never  martinets  ; and,  apart  from 
the  consideration  that  one  barbarian  is,  in  their  opinion, 
as  good  as  another,  and  that  “ petty  divisions  into  states  ” 
are  (or  were)  not  taken  very  seriously,  they  are  usually 
willing  to  act  reasonably  in  times  of  emergency,  who- 
ever makes  out  a good  case ; more  especially  when 
the  British  Consulate  (as  an  abstraction)  says  “ It’s  all 
right.” 

Chang  Shu-sheng  was  a grizzled  old  warrior — an 
ex-rebel — who,  as  the  story  goes,  had  surrendered  to  Li 
Hung-chang,  and  had  subsequently  married  Li’s  sister, — 
of  the  old  Taiping  revolution  days.  His  chief  feature 
was  a single  jagged  green  tooth,  or  tusk,  in  the  upper 
jaw,  and  he  spat  freely  into  your  face  as  he  addressed 
you.  On  this  occasion,  however,  he  came  out  well  ; 
he  went  forth  in  his  own  chair,  and  (perhaps  luckily 
for  us)  had  his  vice-regal  hat  knocked  off,  and  his 
sedan  smashed  by  the  mob. 

The  two  gates  and  bridges  of  the  foreign  settle- 
ment (an  island)  were  always  watched  by  " the  viceroy’s 
guard,”  under  the  command  of  a well-disposed  deputy, 
then  named  Chang  Chen-toh.  This  man  held  himself 
(he  was  always  supposed  to  do  so)  at  the  disposition 
of  the  British  Consulate,  and  his  mission  was  to  keep 
the  creek  boats  and  rowdies  in  order.  There  was 
also  a vice-regal  steam-gunboat  anchored  near  the 
cathedral : the  French  officer  in  command  wished 
for  my  sanction  to  land  marines  at  once,  and  came 

7 


98  “ROWS”— MISSIONARY  AND  OTHER 


in  person  to  ask  it ; but,  though  I had  no  objection 
in  principle  to  usurping  the  authority  of  the  Viceroy 
and  French  consul  for  a few  hours,  I declined  on 
other  grounds  to  approve  this  action.  Another  vice- 
regal steam-gunboat  was  anchored  off  Shamien ; the 
English  (z.e.  Scotch)  commander  (a  fine  old  fighting 
man  and  an  ex-whaler,  named  Captain  James  Stewart) 
also  came  in  person  “ for  orders,”  and  I privately 
arranged  with  him  that,  if  the  settlement  were  rushed, 
he  should,  at  a signal  from  me,  occupy  it  with  all  his 
forces  and  arms.  (I  may  explain  that  the  Viceroy 
had  two  anti-pirate  steam-fleets  ; the  officers  were  all 
appointed  and  removed  by  the  two  consulates,  but 
all  “ orders  ” came,  nominally  at  least,  through  the 
Viceroy’s  chief-of-the-staff.) 

Thus  the  commercial  settlement  was  rendered 
perfectly  safe  both  by  land  and  by  water ; and  all 
these  dispositions  were  made  before  9 o’clock  in  the 
evening,  when  the  chairman  of  the  municipality  was, 
by  way  of  precaution,  told  what  had  occurred,  and 
warned  to  keep  some  Europeans  on  watch  during 
the  night.  This  warning  had  the  instant  effect  of 
summoning  a meeting  at  the  club,  when  the  German  and 
other  “ minor  ” consuls  arranged  to  send  for  a gunboat, 
and  to  have  an  armed  volunteer  patrol  during  the  night. 
I think  I scarcely  moved  from  my  chair  until  i a.m., 
the  whole  of  this  time  being  occupied  in  receiving 
and  despatching  letters  and  individuals. 

At  I a.m.  a formal  letter  arrived  from  the  Viceroy 


I.OOKING  DOWN  THK  CANTON  HIVKR, 

(Cathedral  to  left;  “ Hower-boats  ” and  c’ragon-boat  for  racing  to  right.)  [ 7V> /V»<v /).  98. 


WHEN  THE  DEVIL  WAS  WELL  99 


Chang  Shu-sheng,  announcing  that  he  had  as  many 
as  two  thousand  men  disposed  in  a cordon  around 
the  cathedral,  the  orphanage,  parsonages,  etc.,  etc., 
and  that  there  was  now  no  danger.  So  far  as  my 
memory  serves  me,  one  or  two  unimportant  Christian 
houses  had  been  fired  or  pulled  down,  but  no  French 
interest  had  suffered  in  any  way.  It  so  happened 
that  there  was  no  British  gunboat  at  Hongkong, 
and  the  next  day  things  were  so  quiet  that  there 
was  some  waggish  disposition  to  suggest  a “ got-up 
thing.”  More  especially  were  the  Protestant  mis- 
sionaries indignant  because  no  one  (which  was  a fact) 
had  given  them  a thought  : most  of  them  lived 
between  the  wharf  and  the  cathedral. 

On  the  17th  the  two  consuls  returned;  and  on  the 
1 8th  a belated  Portuguese  gunboat  turned  up  from 
Macao.  The  Viceroy’s  letter  above-mentioned,  and 
the  French  consul’s  subsequent  letter  laying  stress 
on  the  narrow  escape  every  one  had  had,  were  of 
course  unknown  to  the  Hongkong  press,  which  also 
broadly  hinted  at  a “ mare’s  nest.”  However,  the 
records  are  still  there. 

Curiously  enough,  almost  exactly  three  years  later 
(September  10,  1883),  a somewhat  similar  riot  took 
place,  and  a big,  ugly  rush  from  the  cathedral  direc- 
tion actually  took  place.  The  sceptical  residents  thus 
had  a second  opportunity  of  dealing  independently 
with  the  cry  of  “ wolf.”  On  this  occasion  the  mob 
had  a fairly  good  excuse,  for  a drunken  Englishman 


loo  “ROWS”— MISSIONARY  AND  OTHER 


named  Logan  had  caused  the  death  of  a Chinese 
lad  by  shoving  him  overboard  as  the  daily  steamer 
lay  alongside  the  wharf  (between  the  Consulate  and 
the  cathedral).  But  this  second  time  over  a dozen 
foreign  houses  were  consumed  ; the  ladies  were  taken 
on  board  a friendly  steamer  ; the  British  flag  was 
hauled  down  ; and  the  German  consul’s  patrol  was  again 
requisitioned.  The  unfortunate  Baron  von  Ketteler 
(murdered  in  Peking  on  June  13,  1900)  distinguished 
himself  very  highly,  and  I believe  several  Chinamen 
were  shot  before  the  crowd  desisted  from  their  violence. 

FALLING  HE  FELL,  AND  FALLING  EMITTED 
A THUD 

Such  was  the  translation  of  Homer’s  favourite  line 
Aoinrrjaev  Be  ireauiv,  etc.,  which  once  at  school  involved 
my  next  comrade’s  precipitate  descent  to  the  bottom  of 
the  class.  The  day  after  my  return  from  a month’s 
tramp  in  North  Szch'wan,  I was  walking,  followed  by 
my  escort  man,  towards  the  solitary  gate  which  leads 
from  the  rocky  peninsula  of  Chungking  to  the  moun- 
tainous country,  when  I noticed  angry  faces  and 
sullen  groups  on  all  sides,  as  if  there  had  been  a “ row,” 
and  people  were  indignantly  discussing  it.  As  soon 
as  we  got  out  of  earshot  of  the  wall,  the  hiens 
policeman  said : “ Great  man,  I think  we  had  better 
go  back  another  way  ; the  people  are  threatening 
you.”  I thought  he  was  afraid  for  himself,  because 


WERE  I BUT  CLEAR  OF  THESE  FELLOWS  loi 


his  nasty  habit  of  spitting  at  noisy  boys  (which  had 
several  times  evoked  my  remonstrance)  had  made 
him  unpopular  with  mammas.  Still,  I judged  it 
more  prudent  to  take  a longer  turn  in  the  country 
than  usual,  and  we  therefore  came  back  the  same 
way  towards  dusk  : any  other  direction  would  have 
involved  a long  detour,  followed  by  a disagreeable 
walk  through  miles  of  malodorous  streets. 

There  were  still  crowds  on  the  wall,  the  path  along 
which  was  also  the  nearest  road  to  my  house.  A 
scuffle  took  place  above  me  as  I entered  the  “ tunnel  ” 
of  the  gate  (I  afterwards  learned  that  some  Protestant 
Christians  had  prevented  a man  from  pushing  a large 
stone  on  to  me) ; but  I ascended  the  wall  from  the 
inside  as  usual,  and  there  found  a human  lane  prepared 
for  me,  with  rows  of  people  on  each  side.  A man  I 
had  never  seen  ran  towards  me  and  said  hurriedly : 
“ Great  man,  don’t  come  this  way  : they  are  going 
to  injure  you.” 

Suspecting  a trap  of  some  sort,  I took  no 
notice,  (the  missionaries  explained  to  me  this  man’s 
good  intentions  some  days  after  the  event,)  and 
got  safely  through  the  lane,  trying  to  look  as 
unconcerned  as  possible.  But,  just  when  I thought 
all  was  over,  some  men  of  the  loafer  class  assisted 
an  old  woman  to  clamber  up  the  slopes.  She  flung 
her  arms  round  my  legs,  and  shouted  out  : “ Give  me 
back  his  life ; his  back  is  broken.”  Knowing  Chinese 
“ dodge.s,”  it  at  once  struck  me  that  I had  been  seen 


102  “ROWS”— MISSIONARY  AND  OTHER 


lungeing  at  dogs  with  my  stick,  and  that  I was 
going  to  be  accused  of  hitting  a child.  I looked 
round  for  the  policeman,  and  saw  instead,  in  the 
place  where  he  should  have  been,  a testudo  of 
humanity,  apparently  engaged  in  trampling  on  him. 
The  whole  affair  did  not  occupy  as  many  seconds 
as  it  takes  me  minutes  to  describe  it. 

I was  clearly  in  a mess,  and  it  was  useless  to  run, 
so  I fain  had  recourse  to  “ art.”  I said  : “ Old  madam,” 
(the  politest  address),  “ you  will  understand  that  a 
mandarin  cannot  argue  with  small  folk  in  the  street. 
The  policeman  belongs  to  the  hien,  who  is  responsible 
for  him ; if  you  have  any  complaint  to  make,  you 
should  petition  me  at  my  public  residence.”  Some 
of  the  better-disposed  bystanders  seemed  impressed, 
and,  nodding,  said  : “ That  is  good  language.” 

Meanwhile,  I walked  quietly  on,  feeling  decidedly 
uncomfortable.  In  about  four  minutes  I was  at  home, 
but  I purposely  said  nothing  to  my  servants  as  I 
entered  except : “ Invite  the  writer  at  once.”  This  man 
was  a Roman  Catholic  Christian,  and  had  served 
Mr.  Baber  faithfully  on  his  travels.  I said  : “ Please  go 
as  quickly  as  you  can  to  the  Iiien's  yaincn  [a  good 
way  off],  and  ask  him  yourself  to  come  at  once  with 
his  police.  Violence  has.  taken  place,  and  I e.xpect 
an  attack  in  a few  minutes.” 

Off  he  went,  and  now  I wrote  an  account  of  the 
matter  to  the  taotai,  warning  him  that  the  true  facts 
would  reach  Peking  by  a sure  channel,  whatever  should 


AN  UNJ’LEASANT  POSITION 


103 


happen  to  me,  and  that  I held  him  responsible.  Off 
went  the  gatekeeper  with  this  too.  Dinner  was  served  ; 
and  during  the  meal  a Protestant  missionary  came 
to  say  that  a tremendous  uproar  was  taking  place,  and 
people  were  saying  I had  killed  a child.  As  his 
colleague  had  a wife,  I suggested  the  wisdom  of 
going  back  to  look  after  the  safety  of  his  own 
mission-house.  Then  I was  called  by  Chang-erh  to 
the  outer  door  to  inspect  the  policeman : he  was 
severely  mauled,  but  the  people  who  had  brought 
him  seemed  quite  respectful.  I ordered  him  to  be 
rubbed  down  with  brandy,  and  told  them  they  must 
petition  the  hien  if  they  had  any  complaint.  Then  I 
went  back  to  my  own  court,  (or  patio,  as  a Spaniard 
would  call  it,)  and  had  coffee. 

Just  as  I was  lighting  up  my  pipe,  I heard  a fearful 
din,  and  Chang-erh,  running  up,  said  the  outer  gate 
was  being  “ stove  in  with  a coffin.”  He  was  ordered  to 
bar  the  gates  of  each  court,  beginning  with  the  outer- 
most, and  I at  once  blew  out  the  light.  I had  nothing 
on  but  a suit  of  duck  and  a pair  of  heelless  slippers. 
These  I kicked  off,  and  (I  had  already  thought  out  a 
plan  of  escape)  took  up  a position  on  the  high  wall 
at  the  side  of  the  successive  yards,  _ my  idea  being 
to  advance  towards  the  street  as  the  mob  advanced 
from  the  street,  the  gables  of  the  three  sets  of  buildings 
practically  concealing  the  wall  from  persons  in  the 
three  courts. 

Suddenly  something  occurred,  and  the  Bomrrjcrev 


104  “ROWS”— MISSIONARY  AND  OTHER 


TTeawv  episode  took  place.  I did  not  know  if  I 
had  been  shot,  or  struck,  or  what ; but,  after  lying 
stunned  for  a second,  I found  myself  prostrate  in  the 
narrow  space  between  the  wall  and  the  tiers  of  build- 
ings, quite  unable  to  speak  or  move.  (It  subsequently 
turned  out  that  the  mortar  coping  broke,  and  I had 
slipped.)  Chang-erh  was  just  barring  the  inmost  door, 
and  heard  the  “ thud  ” : he  ran  up  with  the  gatekeeper 
or  Wang-erh  (I  am  not  sure  which  of  the  two  had 
gone  with  the  letter),  muttering  “ K’o-wu  ! ” (“  How 

abominable ! ”).  They  carried  me  through  the  writer’s 
“rock-fortress”  at  the  extreme  back  into  the  next  house. 
The  people  there  (strangers)  were  very  civil,  and 
they  said  a chair  was  already  in  waiting  at  their  back 
door  to  take  me  to  \heyainen  ; this,  however,  I declined. 
Whilst  we  were  smoking  and  drinking  tea  in  a friendly 
way,  I heard  shouts  : “ The  great  old  sire  [the  hien\  has 
arrived.  Eh ! what  bravery ! He  is  punching  the 
people’s  heads  with  his  own  fists  ! ” 

There  was  a fearful  shindy  for  some  time  more,  and 
meanwhile  I thanked  my  hosts,  and  gave  orders  to  be 
carried  back  to  my  own  court.  Whilst  being  “laid 
gently  down  ” there,  I heard  the  hien's  voice  shouting : 
“ Where  is  the  great  man  ? Is  the  great  man  injured  ? 
Take  me  to  the  consul.  Is  he  dead?” 

I shouted  : “ Here  I am,  old  sire  Kwo  [Kwochang, 
a Mongol  of  fearless  type] ; this  way.” 

He  was  delighted  to  see  me  “ uninjured,”  and  made 
the  usual  Chinese  excuses  about  “ silly  boys,”  etc. : 


SMOOTHING  RUFFLED  FEATHERS  105 


I 


I 


f 

f 


I 

1 

1 


he  carried  off  with  him  the  policeman  wounded  in  my 
service. 

The  next  day  both  Roman  Catholic  and  Protestant 
missionaries  came  to  see  me.  The  story  now  was  that 
I had,  by  some  supernatural  means,  stolen  the  golden 
duck  from  the  sacred  tank,  and  had  thus  been  the 
cause  of  the  prolonged  drought.  Both  my  ankles  were 
badly  sprained,  and  for  many  weeks  I was  obliged  to 
roll  myself  from  room  to  room,  instead  of  walking. 

It  was  a fearfully  hot  summer  ; the  drought  con- 
tinued for  two  months  more ; and  there  were  rumours 
almost  daily  of  massacres  and  rebels.  All  the  officials 
were  my  personal  friends  ; the  leading  Mussulman  and 
the  leading  Roman  Catholic  gentry  also  frequently  came 
to  see  me.  The  officials  durst  not  punish  any  one, 
and  I did  not  like  to  press  the  demand  very  hard, 
because  I suspected  my  “ loaned  ” policeman  was  a bad 
lot,  and  for  all  I knew  he  might  have  given  just  cause 
for  offence.  The  officials  hinted  that  if  I would  consent 
to  his  execution,  they  would  in  turn  execute  one 
particular  criminal  whose  name  I had  got  from  the 
missionaries ; otherwise,  they  said,  the  people  would 
accuse  them  of  pandering  to  “ ocean  men.”  This  quite 
Chinese  arrangement  did  not  take  my  fancy  at  all,  and 
I managed  in  time  to  get  the  unfortunate  policeman 
out  of  the  hien's  clutches,  and  send  him  safely  to  the 
Ichang  consul  (ten  days’  journey).  As  a solatium 
to  my  feelings,  the  taotai,  prefect,  hien,  brigadier- 
general,  etc.,  gave  me  a grand  public  banquet  at  the 


io6  “ROWS”— MISSIONARY  AND  OTHER 


prefect’s  yamen  (he  holding  the  highest  territorial  or 
“ host  ” rank  in  the  town).  The  leading  Roman  Catholic 
Christian,  Lo  Pao-chi',  was  invited  too,  and  (though  I 
had  to  be  supported)  I thoroughly  enjoyed  the  feast 
and  the  merriment  after  so  long  a confinement  in  the 
house. 

It  is  a long  cry  from  Chungking  to  Peking,  and 
when  at  last  replies  came,  I soon  saw  that  if  there 
was  to  be  a settlement  of  any  kind  I must  invent 
one  for  myself : the  officials  simply  jeered  at  the  word 
“Tsung-li  Yamen."  The  hien  (not  a bad  fellow,  but 
quite  unscrupulous)  said : “ Don’t  make  a fuss : let 
the  affair  die  out.  We  are  treating  you  very  kindly. 
Of  course,  if  you  persist  in  saying  I am  no  match 
for  what  your  people  can  do,  then  I’m  going  to  fight.” 
On  the  top  of  this  came  a private  note  from  my  first 
“ relief,”  asking  me  to  apply  officially  to  have  him  sent 
back,  and  suggesting  that  things  were  not  so  bad 
with  me  as  all  that.  The  Viceroy  at  Ch'engtu,  Ting 
Pao-cheng,  was  no  lover  of  foreigners ; but  he  was 
a just  man,  and  I therefore  sent  him  a full  official 
account  of  the  whole  affair,  stating  that  I had  decided 
not  to  insist  on  the  personal  satisfaction  of  punish- 
ment, but  that  I wanted  proclamations  issued  all  over 
the  province.  His  reply  (sent  not  to  me,  but  to  the 
taotai)  was  decidedly  a good  one  for  a Chinaman  of 
exalted  rank  at  that  date.  He  ordered  the  authorities 
to  “ make  repeated  enquiries  after  my  health,”  wanted 
to  know  “ whether  I was  an  officer  of  rank,  or  how,” 


NOT  SO  BLACK  AS  THEY  ARE  PAINTED  107 


I and  enclosed  a large  number  of  proclamations  saying 
I what  a nice,  learned,  and  just  person  I was,  and  how 
li  missionaries  ought  also  to  be  protected.  These 
: proclamations  were  faithfully  posted  up,  and  later  on 

i I often  heard  from  remote  missionaries  about  them. 

» 

; I then  left,  leaving  my  two  successive  “ reliefs  ” to 
fight  it  out  between  them  on  their  arrival. 

; About  six  years  after  that  a somewhat  similar  “ row  ” 
I took  place,  and  the  same  house  was  attacked.  This 
! time  it  was  destroyed,  and  my  third  successor  had  to 
I accept  the  chair,  again  in  waiting.  He  got  knocked 
, about  considerably  in  the  streets,  and  was  obliged  to 
' live  for  safety  during  some  time  in  a room  set  apart  for 
I him  in  one  of  the  yamens.  The  enormous  premises  of 
; my  Roman  Catholic  friends  were  burnt  down,  and 
I the  leading  Roman  Catholic  Christian  above  mentioned 
' was  executed  as  a sop  to  the  mob.  Desperate  efforts 

[were  made  by  the  French  Minister  at  Peking  to  save 
him  ; but  all  in  vain.  He  used,  even  in  my  time, 

^ to  keep  a number  of  paid  bullies  ready  for  the  attack 
I he  was  always  expecting ; but  he  was  so  rich,  and  so 
well  supported  by  the  bishop,  that  the  authorities  (who 
j|  of  course  hated  him)  th>.  ught  it  better  to  hobnob 
I with  him.  These  paid  bullies  fought  bravely  to  defend 
f Lo’s  house,  and  even  killed  one  rioter  ; hence  Lo  was 
I decapitated  for  “ murder.” 

On  the  whole,  I entertain  grateful  feelings  towards 
f my  quondam  Chungking  friends,  Chinese  as  well  as 
f P’rench,  Catholics  as  well  as  “ Prots.” 


io8  “ROWS”— MISSIONARY  AND  OTHER 


AN  EXTINGUISHER  AT  WENCHOW 

There  were  startling  doings  at  Wenchow  on  the 
night  of  October  4-5,  1884.  For  some  time  the  people 
had  been  excited  over  the  French  hostilities,  and  there 
had  been  rumours  of  massacre  ; but  it  was  such  an  in- 
offensive, sleepy  place  that  no  one  took  them  seriously  ; 
though,  as  a matter  of  fact,  I sent  word  privately  to 
Sir  Harry  Parkes,  so  as  to  be  on  the  safe  side : the 
only  really  malignant  sign  was  that  the  authorities  had 
asked  me  to  mark  all  houses  which  were  not  French, 
and  not  Roman  Catholic.  This  looked  like  Don't 
nail  the  French  priests’  ears  to  the  pump,  my  lads,” 
and  so  I declined  to  do  it.  Meanwhile,  the  French 
customs  commissioner  had  been  replaced  temporarily 
by  an  English  one. 

I was  sitting  on  the  verandah  one  evening,  when 
suddenly  I saw  a blaze  shoot  up  in  the  centre  of  the 
city,  a mile  away.  My  place  was  on  a small  island  in 
the  river  about  half  a mile  outside  the  wall,  so  that  I was 
in  the  position  of  a man  sitting  alone  in  the  comfortable 
dress  circle  of  a dark  theatre  (as  the  late  King  Lewis  of 
Bavaria  used  to  do)  and  having  the  performance  all  to 
himself.  “ By  gad  ! there  goes  a missionary  ! ” said  I 
to  myself.  Not  a soul  moved  or  sounded  either  on  the 
island  or  outside  the  wall ; my  servants  were  all  at 
the  back  ; two  tidewaiters  occupied  an  old  joss-house 
next  door;  and  the  only  other  building  on  the  island 
was  the  great  historical  temple  in  which  “Facfur”  took 


CLOUDS  ON  THE  HORIZON 


109 


refuge  from  Kublai  Khan,  as  described  by  Marco 
Polo. 

After  watching  the  blaze  for  half  an  hour,  I heard 
the  rapid  click  of  the  oar-pin,  and  the  sound  of  a 
boat  approaching  through  the  darkness.  I quite  fore- 
saw who  it  would  be.  He  entered  by  the  servants’ 
door,  exchanged  a word  with  the  servants,  and  then 
came  upstairs : it  was  the  big  f ing-ch' ai.  He  spoke 
quite  calmly : “ Great  man,  Mr.  Soothill’s  place  is 
burnt,  and  he  has  disappeared.  They  have  now  gone 
I to  burn  all  other  foreign  houses  and  the  customs,  after 
which  they  are  coming  here.” 

• “ All  right ; you  go  back  at  once  and  watch  what 

occurs.” 

» The  little  t’ ing-cJi  ai  was  sent  separately.  Chang-erh 
now  came  up  to  entertain  me  with  his  views  upon 
I missionaries  and  pagans,  and  was  just  beginning  his 
exordium  when  another  boat  came  alongside.  This  was 
the  English  commissioner  of  customs  and  his  second 
(a  German),  with  a cash-box  and  two  rifles ; they  had 
just  escaped  by  the  “ skin  of  their  teeth  ” by  getting 
over  the  wall  and  taking  forcible  possession  of  an 
unwilling  boat.  The  two  tidewaiters  were  sent  for  ; and 
also  the  consular  constable  (married,  with  a family),  who 
occupied  rooms  in  the  big  temple.  There  were  six  of 
us,  with  a fair  show  of  guns,  pistols,  and  swords  ; the 
lower  part  of  the  Consulate  was  of  stone ; quite  defen- 
sible ; and  we  all  sat  down  in  front  of  it,  comfortably 
watching  one  blaze  following  the  other. 


no  ” ROWS ’’—MISSIONARY  AND  OTHER 


Various  fing-cJi  ais  and  messengers  arrived  at  inter- 
vals. It  appeared  that  all  the  missions  had  now 
gone  ; nothing  was  known  of  the  Roman  Catholic  priest 
(Italian);  the  English  missionaries  had  escaped  to 
the  hien's  yamcn  (he  was  a very  able  city  magistrate, 
and  really  “ ran  ” the  whole  town),  but  had  been 
belaboured  on  the  way.  The  Brigadier-General  was 
supposed  to  be  exhorting  the  crowd  to  disperse : the 
other  mandarins  were  present  in  accordance  with  law 
to  “ command  order”  ; but,  of  course,  no  one  was  really 
doing  anything  but  “ wait  until  the  clouds  rolled  by.” 
Dr.  Macgowan,  a venerable  American  customs  officer  of 
eighty  years  of  age,  had  bravely  started  on  his  poney 
to  “ save  the  missionaries  ” single-handed.  All  private 
residences,  chapels,  schools,  etc.,  had  now  been  con- 
signed to  the  flames.  It  was  already  past  midnight, 
and  at  last  the  customs  (just  inside  the  gate)  was 
ablaze.  The  question  was  : Would  the  rioters  cross  to 
the  island?  From  the  movement  of  lights  and  the 
other  dimly  discernible  signs  of  activity,  it  looked  as 
though  a large  timber  raft  (of  which  many  used  to  float 
down  from  the  upper  districts)  was  being  laden  with 
people  ; and,  some  one  said,  with  tins  of  kerosene  oil. 

At  this  juncture  the  following  question  was  put 
by  me  : “ We  are  now  all  here  on  equal  terms,  and 
it  is  important  to  decide  whether  we  should  abide 
by  the  determination  to  remain  and  defend  ourselves, 
and  then  stick  to  that  decision.”  One  tidewaiter 
expressed  the  opinion  that  we  ought  rather  to 


WHO  LAUGHS  LAST  LAUGHS  BEST  iii 


cross  over  in  the  consular  boat,  and  march  in  a 
body  to  rescue  Dr.  Macgowan  and  the  missionaries  ; 
but  no  one  else  supported  this  suggestion,  least 
of  all  myself.  Then  it  was  urged  by  another  of 
those  present  that,  as  everything  in  the  city  be- 
longing to  foreigners  had  already  been  destroyed,  it 
was  useless  to  think  of  saving  anything  but  our 
lives.  A majority  agreed.  I expressed  the  opinion 
that  our  safest  place  was  where  we  were,  and 
announced  my  intention  to  remain,  if  only  on  that 
ground.  At  the  same  time,  as  the  consular  archives 
were  few  and  unimportant,  and  my  own  property 
was  of  no  value  whatever  compared  with  other  men’s 
lives,  I authorised  the  constable,  as  a married  man 
responsible  for  his  wife  and  child,  to  do  what  he 
thought  right  for  his  family.  Finally,  it  was  resolved 
to  leave  in  the  consular  boat,  which  was  large  enough 
to  carry  all,  including  the  constable’s  wife  (Portuguese) 
and  daughter,  and  the  various  male  and  female 
servants.  Rugs  and  stores  with  all  the  arms  were 
placed  in,  and  off  they  put,  the  idea  being  to  drift 
down  the  rEer  and  meet  the  steamer,  which  was  due 
in  a day  or  two  from  Shanghai.  Just  before  pushing 
off,  the  party  sent  back  the  constable  to  represent 
once  more  the  unwisdom  of  remaining,  and  he  shook 
hands  solemnly  with  a “ God  bless  you,  sir ! ” 

During  the  next  two  hours  nothing  occurred  beyond 
a final  flare  up  below  the  gate,  which  (I  afterwards 
learnt)  drew  forth  from  someone  in  the  boat,  now  far 


1 12  “ROWS”— MISSIONARY  AND  OTHER 


down  the  river,  the  remark  : “ There  goes  poor  Parker  ! ” 
This  was  an  excellent  opportunity  for  Chang-erh  to 
come  and  moralise  in  solitude.  A tea-table  was  set  in 
front  of  the  Consulate,  and  he  stood  behind  me  with 
my  official  hat.  “ We  are  used  to  this,  are  we  not  ? ” 
I was  “ thinking  hard,”  and  by  no  means  inclined 
to  chatter,  so  I replied:  “Yes.  Who  is  there  left 
besides  you  ? ” 

“The  big  t' ing-cJi  ai" 

The  old  priest  then  turned  up,  and  offered  to  hide 
away  in  his  own  room  one  of  the  helpless  Chinese 
women  who  had  been  left  behind  in  a fever.  At 
last  there  was  a confused  noise  as  of  an  approaching 
multitude.  By  the  now  bright  moonlight  a raft  was 
seen  making  fast  to  the  bank  near  the  offices,  which 
lay  a little  distance  down  stream  from  the  consular 
residence.  A number  of  men  came  rushing  up,  headed 
by  a barefooted  man  in  “ pyjamas  ” — or  the  Chinese 
equivalent  therefor.  Thinking  this  was  the  ringleader, 
I rose  and  bowed. 

“It  is  the  Brigadier-General,”  said  the  fing-cJi  ai. 

“ Why,  they  told  me  you  had  all  gone  off  in  a boat, 
and  I have  just  sent  a war-junk  to  say  there  is  no 
cause  for  alarm.  I got  out  of  bed  as  you  see  me. 
1 have  also  sent  troops  by  the  river  banks  to  protect 
the  people  in  the  boat  if  they  land.” 

“ It  is  quite  true  ; they  have  all  gone  ; but  I am  here, 
as  you  see.  The  best  way  would  be  to  send  an  express 
messenger  with  a note  from  me  to  bring  them  all  back.” 


I 

k 


I'AGODA  (to  right)  FROM  WHICH  A-NOS  UROTIHCR  FELL  (SEE  PAGE  22). 

(“  Fad'ur's  " temple  to  left;  old  consulate  in  centre;  offices  behind  llaKStalf.)  [To  face  p. 


RID  ME  OF  THESE  FELLOWS 


113 

“ But  the  people  are  coming.  I have  another  junk 
here  to  take  you  off.” 

“ But,  as  you  are  here  with  your  men,  why  not 
protect  the  Consulate  ? ” 

“ I have  no  authority  to  use  force  without  the 
command  of  the  taotai.” 

“ But  what  is  the  use  of  a general  and  an  army 
unless  he  maintains  order  ? ” 

Just  then  the  hien  arrived,  in  full  uniform  and  in 
perfect  good  humour.  He  said  Dr.  Macgowan  and 
all  the  missionaries  were  safe,  except  the  Italian,  who 
had  utterly  disappeared.  We  thereupon  all  sat  down 
over  tea  and  cigars  to  discuss  the  situation. 

I said : “ The  general  tells  me  he  has  no  authority 
to  use  force.  I say : ‘ Fire  at  the  first  batch  who 
attempt  to  land  here.’  You  are  the  ‘host  official’ 
of  this  city  ; surely  in  case  of  emergency  you  have 
the  power  to  use  force  ? ” 

He  replied  : “ I have ; at  my  discretion  and  peril.” 

I rejoined  : “ Then  do  it.  I will  guarantee  to  hold 
you  both  harmless,  and  I accept  the  responsibility.” 
(The  hien,  I may  add,  is,  in  nominal  rank,  infinitely 
below  a general.) 

The  hien  then  turned  to  the  general  and  said : “ All 
right.” 

“ But,”  said  the  general,  “ I have  not  the  requisite 
force.” 

“ How  many  men  are  here  now  ? ” I asked. 

I think  he  said,  “ Fifty.” 


8 


1 14  “ROWS”— MISSIONARY  AND  OTHER 


“ How  many  have  loaded  rifles  ? ” 

“ Twelve.” 

“ Then  march  the  twelve  down  to  the  office  now, 
and  let  the  hien  shout  out  to  yonder  raft  there,  that  if 
it  approaches  nearer  the  general  has  given  orders  to 
fire.” 

The  moon  had  gone  behind  the  clouds,  and  I could 
only  hear,  without  seeing,  what  took  place ; but 
apparently  the  raft  at  once  dropped  down  stream. 
At  all  events,  nothing  more  took  place.  It  was 
now  past  two,  and  after  moodily  looking  at  the  fires 
going  down  for  about  an  hour,  we  all  began  to 
yawn.  It  was  decided  to  leave  the  soldiers  in  the 
big  temple ; and  the  two  officials  then  left,  promising 
to  call  again  at  daylight. 

All  was  now  perfectly  silent,  both  on  the  island 
and  in  the  city  ; so  I went  to  bed ; and  the  soldiers 
settled  down  to  sleep  in  the  temple  court.  Just 
before  lying  down  on  the  bed  dressed,  I mechanically 
looked  for  my  keys  (then  always  attached  to  my 
watch) : both  they  and  the  small  clock  had  disappeared. 

“ Boy  ! ” 

“ Dja  ! ” 

“ Where  is  my  watch  ? ” 

The  boy  took  my  keys,  the  watch,  and  the  clock 
from  his  sleeve  with  the  remark  ; “ I thought  I might 
as  well  take  care  of  these  if  the  place  was  burnt 
down.” 

What  happened  the  next  day  is  “ another  story.  ’ 


EATING  THE  LEEK 


115 


A NICE  LITTLE  FAMILY  PARTY 

Next  morning,  at  about  5 a.m.,  the  taotai,  prefect, 
general,  hien,  etc.,  all  presented  themselves  to  apologise. 
If  I had  not  remained,  they  might  have  concocted 
any  plausible  story  they  had  fancied  ; but  my  position 
was  now  quite  unassailable.  They  simply  grinned, 
and  said:  “What  are  you  going  to  do?  We  submit 
to  judgment.” 

“Well,”  I said,  “you  have  five  Powers  to  deal  with, 
and  Sir  Robert  Hart  to  boot.  The  first  thing  is  to 
apologise,  and  get  the  gentry  to  join  you.  Next, 
you  must  either  produce,  or  name  the  whereabouts 
of  all  those  missionaries.  I strongly  suspect  you 
know  where  the  Italian  really  is.  Also,  I must  know 
what  has  become  of  the  boat.” 

They  all  went  away  much  relieved  ; but  the  hien 
said  that  the  people  were  too  excited  to  permit  of 
the  missionaries  going  out  into  the  streets  just  yet. 

At  about  II  that  same  morning  the  boat  returned, 
and  those  of  its  occupants  who  had  not  houses  of 
their  own  on  the  island  were  quartered  in  the  Con- 
sulate, and  “washed.”  We  were  all  perfectly  com- 
fortable and  safe  on  the  island  ; the  only  thing  was 
that  the  ill-equipped  soldiers  were  a noisy  nuisance, 
until  I gave  them  money  to  buy  cooking-pans  and 
many  other  “ shortages.” 

On  the  same  day  (at  4 p.m.)  Dr.  Macgowan  and  the 
English  missionaries  were  sent  back  in  a native  boat. 


ii6  “ROWS”— MISSIONARY  AND  OTHER 


Each  had  a roll  of  dollars  and  a red  blanket  pre- 
sented to  him  by  the  hien  : they  looked  for  all  the 
world  like  the  Red  Indians  one  sees  perched  on  the 
buffers  of  trains  in  the  Far  West.  Still  the  Italian 
was  not  forthcoming,  and  I told  the  hien  he  ought 
to  go  himself  to  search  for  him,  as  no  settlement 
was  possible  if  any  one  were  killed.  At  last  he  was 
found  in  a house  next  door  to  his  own,  and  was 
sent  to  me  at  3 p.m.  on  the  6th.  In  his  own  words; 
“ When  I heard  the  cries  of  the  mob  round  my 
house,  I rushed  to  consume  the  sacred  elements, 
jumped  up  on  to  the  roof,  dropped  into  the  court 
beyond,  flung  myself  on  my  knees  to  an  old  pagan 
woman  who  was  there,  and  induced  her  to  hide 
me  in  a cord  of  wood.”  Here  he  remained  in 
concealment  until  discovered  by  the  hien. 

By  this  time  the  steamer  had  arrived,  and  two 
of  the  male  missionaries  went  to  Shanghai,  in  very 
scratch  attire,  to  obtain  a refit ; luckily,  the  two  lady 
missionaries  had  gone  by  a previous  steamer.  The 
Italian  priest  presented  himself  before  the  French 
bishop  at  Ningpo  clad  in  an  old  plaid  dressing-gown 
lined  with  sheepskin  (the  one  I wore  in  Sz  Ch'wan 
after  the  robbery  of  my  black  astrachan)  and  a red 
smoking-cap.  One  Scotch  missionary  was  a gigantic 
man  with  one  leg  (which  in  the  old  times  avait  valu 
pour  V Angleterre  the  reputation  of  being  a “ one-legged  ” 
country),  and  it  was  difficult  to  arrange  any  pair 
of  trousers  to  hit  off  all  the  minuses  and  pluses 


THE  LION-HEARTED  SIR  HARRY  117 


harmoniously.  He  took  with  him  his  native  school- 
girls for  safety  ; and  the  old  Chinese  priest’s  grateful 
protegee  went  too. 

Before  the  Europeans  left,  however,  they  were  each 
and  all  of  them  requested  to  state  in  writing  what  sum 
they  would  take  in  compensation  for  their  losses  : no 
details,  no  inventory,  no  afterthoughts ; simply  state 
a generous  sum  once  for  all.  The  total  was  thirty- 
five  thousand  dollars,  and  this  sum  the  Chinese 
undertook  on  the  loth  instant  to  pay,  provided  I 
gave  my  word  it  should  be  final.  It  was  stipulated 
that  no  proclamations  should  be  issued,  no  war-junks 
or  troops  now  on  guard  moved  without  my  approval. 
There  was  a -difficulty  about  the  property  of  customs 
officers,  for  their  rules  do  not  allow  them  to  seek 
consular  aid : this  difficulty  was  overcome  by  the 
Chinese  “voluntarily  offering”  them  compensation. 
A “treaty”  was  signed  and  sealed  on  the  12th 
by  all  the  Chinese  officials,  and  by  the  missionaries 
left  behind  ; — in  fact,  by  all  the  “ free  ” foreigners, — 
and  the  case  was  thus  at  an  end. 

If  Sir  Harry  Parkes  had  been  one  of  General 
Gordon’s  ideal  diplomats,  he  might  possibly  have  dis- 
covered some  dark,  personal  motive  in  my  thus  cobbling 
up  a silly  indiscretion ; but  luckily  he  was  also  a 
lion-hearted,  straightforward,  patriotic  man,  who  was 
capable  of  distinguishing  plain  dealing  from  humbug ; 
so  he  at  once  telegraphed  {vid  "Ningpo)  that  he  and 
Sir  Robert  Hart  left  the  whole  settlement  absolutely 


ii8  “ROWS”— MISSIONARY  AND  OTHER 


to  me.  The  German,  American,  and  Italian  ministers 
were  also  pleased  to  see  a summary  end  made 
to  the  matter ; and  their  three  home  Governments, 
many  months  afterwards,  approved  the  settlement. 
France  being  practically  at  war  with  China,  the 
French  claims  were  settled  in  the  names  of  the  bishop 
at  Ningpo,  the  Italian  minister,  and  Sir  Robert  Hart, 
without  there  being  any  necessity  to  trouble  the 
French  authorities  at  all. 

But  the  Wenchow  people  had  always  affected  to 
disapprove  of  gunboats  approaching  their  sacred  city  ; 
still  more  had  they  vowed  that  no  foreign  seamen 
should  ever  land  there  ; and  that  their  temple  in  the 
heart  of  the  city  should  never  be  desecrated  by  sailors. 
Fortunately,  in  Captain  Hope  and  Captain  Carey- 
Brenton  we  had  two  naval  commanders  who  combined 
the  necessary  tact  and  firmness  to  “drive  home”  with 
striking  completeness.  Captain  Hope  anchored  his 
gunboat  (23rd)  between  the  city  gate  and  the  Consulate, 
and  practised  with  his  Gardner  guns  at  a target 
under  the  eyes  of  the  whole  city.  Admiral  Dowell 
came  up  to  inspect  on  the  29th.  Captain  Brenton 
invited  a large  party  of  the  Chinese  “ army  ” to  dinner 
on  board,  and  a day  or  two  later  a goodly  company  of 
Chinese  soldiers  waited  respectfully  at  the  city  gate  to 
“receive”  the  jolly  jack-tars,  who  marched  arm-in-arm 
with  the  soldiers  up  the  crowded  main  street,  and  dined 
with  them  in  the  great  temple  itself.  An  assault-at- 
arms  was  held  at  the  Consulate  in  the  presence  of  the 


GET  THEE  GONE,  MADAM!  119 

mandarins  : the  Chinese  soldiers  went  through  their 
pirouettings,  and  the  seamen  through  their  cutlass 
and  sword-stick  drill.  Finally,  the  crew  more  than 
once  played  cricket  in  a field  outside  the  walls,  sur- 
rounded by  an  admiring  crowd  of  gaping  natives. 

The  Chinese  authorities  rebuilt  their  own  customs 
offices  and  residences  without  Sir  Robert  Hart  having 
to  move  at  all,  and  the  missionaries  got  their  money 
for  brand-new  houses  all  round.  At  the  last  moment 
both  the  missionaries  and  myself  discovered  certain 
omissions  ; more  especially  had  I omitted  to  charge  for 
the  iron  pans,  allowances  to  soldiers,  keep  of  mission- 
aries, etc.  The  ever-alert  hien  easily  arranged  this, 
notwithstanding  my  solemn  promise  by  deed.  A 
tiny  chapel  had  been  destroyed  in  the  country  on 
October  6 ; the  iron  pans  and  all  other  miscellanies 
were  therefore  merged  one  by  one  into  this  chapel, 
until  its  value  reached  the  extra  sum  of  two  thousand 
dollars.  Thus  thirty-seven  thousand  dollars  were 
actually  paid  in  all  (November  9),  and  all  were  happy. 
Only  one  “ criminal  ” was  arrested  ; but  as  his  mother 
showing  signs  of  howling  outside  my  door  night  and 
day  for  the  rest  of  her  natural  life,  I did  not  press 
for  his  severe  punishment. 

The  moral  of  this  story  is  that  Chinese  nerves  are 
so  constructed  that  every  mandarin  seems  to  have 
in  him  the  makings  of  a “ murderer  ” or  a saviour, 
accordingly  as  the  “ tide  in  the  affairs  of  men  ” is 
taken  at  the  flood  or  on  the  ebb  ; that  “ rows  ” are 


120  “ROWS”— MISSIONARY  AND  OTHER 


seldom  so  dangerous  or  so  serious  as  their  noise  and 
appearance  is  appalling ; and  that  a readiness  to  make 
allowances  for  foolish  human  nature  is  commonly 
appreciated  at  its  full  value  on  the  Chinese  side. 

The  same  missionaries  had  to  take  refuge  on  the 
island  once  more  during  the  “Boxer”  riots  of  1900;  but 
I see  that  my  sensible  and  accomplished  successor  has 
been  able  to  extract  ample  compensation  in  the  same 
friendly  spirit  as  that  evinced  sixteen  years  ago.  I 
see  no  reason  why  the  whole  “ Chinese  Question  ” 
should  not  be  treated  on  analogous  lines. 


A CHINESE  “REVOLUTION” 

In  the  early  days  of  Corea  there  was  much  jealousy 
between  the  Japanese  and  the  Chinese.  “ Demonstra- 
tions ” of  all  kinds  were  frequently  taking  place,  and 
it  had  just  been  agreed  officially  between  them  that 
neither  Power  should  land  any  more  troops  or  marines 
without  the  other’s  written  consent.  Meanwhile,  at 
the  particular  moment  I describe,  a considerable 
Chinese  fleet  lay  in  the  harbour  of  Chemulpho,  in- 
cluding several  ironclads ; and,  much  closer  in  to  shore, 
not  a stone’s  throw  from  the  British  vice-consulate, 
was  anchored  a tiny  English  gunboat,  with  a crew  of 
perhaps  eighty  sailors  and  marines  all  told. 

It  so  happened  that  the  very  capable  Japanese 
physician  Dr.  Tanaka  was  in  my  sitting-room,  prescrib- 
ing a remedy  for  lumbago,  and  I just  glanced  out  of 


“STRANGER  THAN  FICTION 


I2I 


the  window  to  see  if  the  threatening  snow  had  blown  off 
sufficiently  to  permit  of  his  departure.  What  was  my 
astonishment  to  see  about  eighty  Chinese  “ coolies  ” 
drawn  up  in  military  array  opposite  the  Chinese  Con- 
sulate on  the  Chinese  “ concession,”  as  though  preparing 
to  attack  some  one.  At  the  same  instant  the  English 
Commissioner  of  Customs  came  breathlessly  up  to  an- 
nounce that  the  custom-house  (just  beneath  the  consular 
hill)  had  been  violently  seized  by  the  Chinese  ; one  of 
his  English  assistants  had  already  been  severely  hurt ; 
himself  and  all  the  others  driven  out.  It  was  simply, 
according  to  him,  a cunningly  arranged  coup  d’etat, 
conceived  in  order  to  make  Chinese  influence  pre- 
dominant. 

The  Chinese  and  Japanese  “concessions”  extended 
for  half  a mile  along  the  shore  ; the  Japanese  at  their 
end  of  the  town  knew  nothing  of  what  was  occurring ; 
the  British  hill  at  the  other  extreme  was  clear  of 
both  “ concessions  ” ; and  the  Corean  custom-house 
stood  at  the  foot  of  the  hill  on  the  brink  of  the 
central  or  Chinese  settlement,  and  had  already,  a 
few  months  back,  been  burnt  down  once  by  some 
malcontents.  There  was  no  primd  facie  ground  for 
British  interference  in  this  intrigue,  except  the  possi- 
bility of  a second  fire  reaching  the  Consulate  buildings  ; 
moreover,  the  Admiralty’s  instructions  upon  the  subject 
of  landing  parties  were  very  rigid.  But  there  was  no 
time  to  lose : five  more  minutes,  and  a fait  accompli 
would  have  given  the  diplomats  at  Peking  perhaps 


122  “ROWS”— MISSIONARY  AND  OTHER 


years  of  harassing  work  ; not  to  mention  bad  blood 
and  eventual  hostility.  Under  these  circumstances,  I 
gave  about  four  square  inches  of  paper  to  the  Com- 
missioner with  the  following  words  hastily  jotted  upon 
it  in  pencil,  addressed  to  no  particular  individual : 
“ Will  the  gunboat  please  send  ten  marines  fully 
armed  and  equipped  for  the  immediate  defence  of  the 
Consulate  ? ” In  less  than  five  minutes  the  Commissioner 
had  run  down  the  hill,  got  a boat,  delivered  his 
message,  and  ten  marines  with  blankets  and  rifles 
were  marching  up  the  circuitous  path  to  the  Con- 
sulate, where  they  were  stowed  away  during  the 
night.  The  movement  was  executed  with  marvellous 
rapidity  and  calmness  by  the  lieutenant  in  charge 
of  the  party.  The  effect  was  instantaneous ; the 
Chinese  dispersed,  and  their  consul  sent  to  protest 
against  the  use  of  what  he  called  “ force.” 

Thus  the  whole  “ revolution  ” took  about  ten  minutes  ; 
and  six  months  later  I received  through  my  superiors 
Lord  Granville’s  formal  approval,  though  I had  never 
even  reported  the  matter  officially  to  any  one.  But,  thus 
short  though  my  active  participation  was,  the  sequela 
were  multiform.  Telegrams  from  everybody  every- 
where ; protests  from  the  Chinese  consul  and  Captain 
Teng  of  the  fleet;  messages  by  “special  envoy”  to 
me  from  the  King  of  Corea  to  deprecate  hostilities  ; 
questions  at  the  Admiralty ; arguments,  discussions, 
and  what  not.  Fortunately  for  me,  Mr.  (now  Sir 
Nicholas)  O’Conor,  who  was  then  in  charge  at  Peking, 


THE  KING  (NOU'  “ EMPEROR '*)  OF  COREA. 


[To  face  p.  122. 


EADEM  EST  RATIO  123 

took  a considerate  view  of  the  semi-ndiculous  situation 
as  represented  to  him  by  my  immediate  superior  at 
Soul  ; but  if  he  had  seen  fit  to  charge  me  with  usurping 
powers  belonging  of  right  to  others ; or  with  disobeying 
instructions  ; or  with  having  acted  with  some  unworthy 
motive,  I should  have  been  quite  helpless  to  defend 
myself  except  under  open  enquiry. 


CHAPTER  VI 


PIRACIES  AND  MURDERS 

THE  PIRACY  OF  THE  SPARK 
NE  broiling  hot  day  at  Canton,  a colleague 


came  rushing  in  : “ The  Spark  has  been  taken 
by  pirates.  Brady ’s  been  killed.”  The  Spark  was 
a small  river  steamer  plying  between  Macao  and 
Canton.  As  with  all  river  steamers,  the  greater  part 
of  the  ship  was  devoted  to  Chinese  passengers,  and 
the  few  Europeans  occupied  only  the  forward  part 
of  the  upper  deck.  As  the  steamer  was  getting  out 
into  the  open  sea  near  the  Fumun  {Huinen,  or 
Bocca  Tigris),  a couple  of  dozen  out  of  about  twelve 
dozen  Chinese  passengers  “ rushed  ” the  ship  ; at  once 
killed  Captain  Brady ; and  either  chased  overboard 
or  severely  wounded  the  other  two  officers;  besides 
killing  or  pitching  into  the  river  several  Chinese 
passengers  who  resisted.  The  single  European  pas- 
senger, an  inoffensive  young  tea-taster  named  Mundy, 
who  was,  moreover,  almost  helpless  from  fever  and 
gout,  was  jabbed  with  spears  as  he  was  trying  to  rise 


124 


THE  MOST  UNKINDEST  CUT  OF  ALL”  125 


from  a long  cane  chair : he  was  left  on  the  deck  for 
dead.  The  Chinese  engineers  managed  to  hide  them- 
selves away,  until  certain  junks  concerned  in  the  plot 
came  out  of  a creek  in  which  they  had  been  lurking, 
and  took  the  pirates  off.  After  a time,  the  artificers 
on  board  recovered  enough  presence  of  mind  to  work 
their  way  across  the  bay  into  Macao. 

Rewards  were  at  once  offered  by  the  Viceroy 
Jweilin,  the  steamer  company,  and  the  Portuguese 
Governor  Januario.  Every  effort  was  made  to  un- 
earth the  pirates  from  amongst  the  river  haunts. 
I have  a faint  recollection  of  two  or  three  being 
ultimately  arrested  and  punished,  but  I cannot  be 
certain.  I remember  a story  of  two  being  surrounded 
in  a house  by  soldiers,  at  or  near  a place  called 
Fati,  above  Canton.  However,  from  that  day  to  this 
the  native  passengers  have  always  been  confined 
below  the  hurricane  decks  of  all  river  steamers,  a 
man  armed  with  sword  and  revolver  standing  over 
the  only  exit.  They  are  no  longer  allowed  to  parade 
the  promenade  deck  and  converse  with  the  European 
passengers ; and,  besides  this,  a stack  of  rifles  and 
pistols  is  always  kept,  both  in  the  captain’s  cabin 
and  at  the  head  of  the  saloon  stairs.  Even  with 
ocean  - going  steamers  analogous  precautions  are 
taken. 

Mr.  Mundy’s  youthful  career  in  China  was  thus 
cut  short  within  a few  months  of  its  inception  ; but, 
strange  to  say,  the  gout  was  driven  out  of  him  for 


126 


PIRACIES  AND  MURDERS 


good,  through  the  various  safety-valves  for  peccant 
humours  afforded  by  twenty  or  thirty  spear  thrusts. 
He  had  to  go  home.  I believe  he  wrote  a book 
on  the  subject  later  on,  but  I have  never  seen  it ; 
and,  however  interesting  it  may  be  as  a general 
History  of  China.,  it  cannot  add  much  to  the  above 
narrative,  for  the  whole  affair  only  took  five  minutes, 
during  four  minutes  and  fifty-nine  seconds  of  which 
Mr.  Mundy  lay  weltering  in  his  blood,  quite  un- 
conscious. In  the  end,  I believe,  he  suffered  no 

more  serious  permanent  damage  than  a slight  stiffness 
about  the  neck  and  shoulders. 

Steamers  of  the  largest  size — three  thousand  or 
four  thousand  tons — have  once  or  twice  been  threat- 
ened between  Hongkong  and  Singapore,  and  I was 
myself  on  a large  rice  steamer  one  day  at  an  island 
off  Bangkok  (Koh-si  Chang)  when  the  Chinese  load- 
ing coolies  took  possession  ; but  this  was  a mere 
“ row  ” or  strike,  and  the  English  captain,  like  a 
wise  man,  sat  quietly  smoking  his  pipe  with  me  on 
the  bridge,  not  even  giving  an  order  : he  could  not 
have  done  anything  against  fifty  or  sixty  irate 
Chinamen  armed  with  poles.  Soon  the  Siamese 
police  came  on  board  to  see  what  the  hullabaloo  was 
all  about.  The  offending  stevedore  or  contractor  was 
dismissed  and  arrested,  and  things  solvebantur  ambulando, 
at  the  small  total  cost  of  a few  broken  heads  and  a 
miserable  squeezing  purveyor’s  dignity. 


A THIEF  IN  THE  NIGHT 


127 


A PIRATICAL  ATTACK 

After  a couple  of  days’  sail  down  the  Wenchow 
River,  which  is  navigable  up  to  and  down  from 
Lungts'uan,  near  the  borders  of  Fuh  Kien,  we  anchored 
for  the  night  at  a lonely  spot  some  distance  above 
the  city  of  Ts'ingt'ien.  The  boat  was  about 

twenty  feet  long,  but  so  constructed  that  every  one 
had  to  lie  down  when  the  central  mat-cover  was 
on.  The  boatmen  stood  up  in  the  prow  or  at  the 
stern,  poling  from  a sort  of  ledge  running  round 
the  gunwales  ; in  fact,  the  craft  was  exactly  similar 
to  the  Burmese  boats  of  the  Nantabet  River  on  the 
Yiinnan-Kachyn  frontier,  as  I discovered  eight  years 
later. 

Being  so  near  home,  I had  left  the  mandarin  and 
escort  behind,  to  follow  at  leisure  in  his  own  boat ; 
and  consequently,  beyond  the  crew  of  three,  there 
was  no  one  in  mine  but  the  hands  and  the  big 
f ing-cJi  ai.  By  preference,  I always  anchored  in  the 
open  reaches,  so  as  to  avoid  crowds,  though  the 
boatmen  much  preferred  a busy  town,  where  rice 
shops  and  gossip  were  handy. 

The  lights  were  out,  and  we  were  all  shaking 
down  to  a well-earned  sleep,  when  I fancied  I heard 
soft  whispers  outside.  It  was  very  dark  ; but,  as  I 
lifted  aside  the  mat  and  put  my  head  out,  I dis- 
tinctly saw  the  shadow  of  a man  crouching  away  in 
another  boat  alongside,  which  then  put  silently  off. 


128 


PIRACIES  AND  MURDERS 


I shouted  out : “ If  any  boat  comes  alongside  again, 
I will  fire!”  I had  no  arms  but  an  old  French 
pistol,  which  made  scarcely  any  noise  when  it  went 
off,  and  whose  powers  of  penetration  were  more  than 
problematical.  In  a short  time  I again  peered  out, 
and  once  more  distinctly  saw  the  same  boat  hover- 
ing near.  Then  I did  fire — of  course  without  any 
murderous  intention  or  effect — and  the  moderate 
explosion  and  noise  thus  made  sufficed  to  rouse  up 
the  sleepy  boatmen  and  servant.  The  order  was : 
“ Put  off  at  once,  and  drift  down  the  centre  of  the 
river  till  daylight.” 

Every  one  seemed  terribly  alarmed,  nor  were  we 
more  at  our  ease  when  we  perceived  the  piratical 
craft  steadily  following  us  at  about  twenty  yards’ 
distance.  I then  stood  up,  pistol  in  hand,  covering 
the  pursuers,  and  shouted : “ The  first  person  who 
shows  himself  near  this  boat  is  a dead  man  ! ” I 
heard  a voice  say,  not  in  the  local  but  in  the 
mandarin  dialect : “ Go  on ! He  is  only  one  man. 
He  is  breaking  the  law.  What  have  we  to  fear  ? ” 
I then  really  did  fire,  and  possibly  hit  some  part  of 
the  boat,  but  certainly  wounded  no  one,  or  the  shouts 
and  yells  would  have  been  fearful,  however  innocuous 
the  wound  inflicted  by  my  feeble  weapon  might  have 
been. 

On  this  the  piratical  craft  definitely  moved  off, 
and  we  got  safely  to  Wenchow  that  afternoon,  with 
our  feathers  much  ruffled.  I at  once  complained  in 


WHO  WOULD  HAVE  THOUGHT  IT?  129 


strong  language  to  the  officials,  who  seemed  to  be 
really  astonished  and  pained  at  the  occurrence ; more 
especially  so  was  the  imperial  likin  superintendent, 
who,  amongst  his  other  duties,  connived  at  the  illicit 
salt  trade  along  the  river,  and  appeared  genuinely 
concerned  at  the  sad  mishap. 

As  I had  suffered  no  damage  whatever  to  person 
or  property,  I made  no  further  fuss ; but  on  the 
arrival,  a day  or  two  afterwards,  of  my  escort  and 
the  belated  mandarin  in  charge  of  it,  the  latter  made 
some  incidental  remarks  of  a cynical  nature  which 
caused  me  to  reconsider  my  mental  attitude,  and 
forced  me  to  seek  possible  reasons  for  his  discontent. 
In  fact,  the  more  I thought  it  over,  the  clearer  be- 
came the  following  hypothesis : The  boatmen  had 
taken  advantage  of  my  prestige  to  smuggle,  and  the 
likin  police  were  naturally  indignant  at  their  bare- 
faced persistency  in  resisting  search,  and  nightly  seeking 
secluded  moorings.  When,  in  pursuance  of  their  duty 
they  were  shadowing  the  boat,  they  came  across  a 
hirsute  and  violent  barbarian  trying  to  pass  himself 
off  as  a consul.  The  question  was : What  to  do  ? 

There  is  reason  to  believe  that  my  “ successful 
smuggling”  spoilt  a similar  little  game  worked  by 
my  belated  escort. 

A REAL  MURDER 

In  the  early  days  of  Corea  there  was  very  little  house 
accommodation  except  in  Chinese  and  Japanese  inns, 

9 


130  PIRACIES  AND  MURDERS 

and  I myself  had  to  live  some  time  in  “ Harry’s  ” hotel, 
a mere  wooden  shanty,  like  a booth  upon  the  Epsom 
downs.  Consequently  Chinese,  Japanese,  and  Corean 
body-servants  herded  together  in  any  little  odd  corners  ; 
and  as  Japanese  women  often  did  the  washing  and  sew- 
ing, and  sometimes  even  the  interpreting,  this  absence 
of  privacy  led  to  various  incidents  with  the  Chinese 
“boys”;  my  own  servant  had  to  be  severely  reprimanded 
for  unwelcome  “ gallantry.”  One  European  (not  a 
British  subject)  had  a gigantic  boy  even  bigger  than 
mine,  and  this  menial,  who  rather  fancied  himself, 
grew  very  sulky  because  the  Japanese  ayah  employed 
by  his  master  would  not  listen  to  his  attentions. 

One  morning  the  Chinese  consul  was  astonished  to 
receive  a visit  from  an  excited  European  brandishing 
a long,  bloody  carving-knife.  Although  my  affairs 
lay  beyond  the  ken  of  the  various  nationalities  con- 
cerned, I promptly  received  visits  from  all  three,  each 
asking  me  what  was  to  be  done.  It  turned  out  that 
in  a fit  of  rage  and  jealousy  the  Chinese  boy  had 
“ gone  for  ” the  unfortunate  girl,  and  had  run  the  knife 
deep  into  her  bowels.  Of  course  she  fell  dead  on  the 
spot,  and  the  master,  armed  with  reeking  evidence, 
went  to  ask  for  the  villain’s  arrest. 

As  the  rules  about  applying  to  consuls  and  housing 
servants  were  very  strict  in  the  customs  service,  the 
unfortunate  master  was  at  his  wits’  end  what  to  do,  and 
asked  my  advice.  This  was  to  write  at  once  direct  to 
Sir  Robert  Hart,  and  tell  the  plain  truth,  without  offering 


“AH!  LOVE  FLUNG  AWAY!” 


131 

any  apologies,  before  distorted  rumours  should  reach 
his  ears.  This  was  done,  and  no  more  was  said  about 
the  matter,  as  the  master  was  in  no  way  to  blame, 
and  had  done  nothing  contrary  to  local  custom.  As 
to  the  Chinese  consul,  he  had  no  power  to  deal  with 
murder  cases,  and  so  he  sent  the  “boy”  up  under 
strong  escort  to  Yiian  Shi-k'ai,  the  Resident  at  Soul. 
I happened  to  go  to  Soul  that  day  too,  and  passed 
the  procession  on  the  road.  At  that  time  Japanese 
influence  was  infinitely  below  that  of  China,  and  it 
was  quite  certain  that  no  Chinese  life  would  be  sacri- 
ficed for  the  sake  of  a Japanese ; least  of  all  a man’s 
life  for  that  of  a woman ; nor  were  the  Japanese 
politically  strong  enough  to  insist  upon  it.  The  result 
was  that  a more  or  less  genuine  trial  was  held,  and 
the  “ boy  ” was  deported  to  China,  “ to  be  severely  dealt 
with”  there, — probably  to  be  at  once  set  at ^ liberty. 
As  things  now  stand,  it  is  scarcely  likely  that  the 
Japanese  would  accede  so  readily  to  such  one-sided 
justice  ; but  just  then  several  lives  were  owed  to  the 
Chinese,  so  the  poor  woman  was  hastily  buried  and 
forgotten,  as  a mere  counter  in  the  game. 


THE  GREAT  MURDER  CASE 

Returning  from  my  usual  hard  walk  over  the 
mountains  one  afternoon  at  Pagoda  Anchorage 
(February  1890),  I was  approached  by  the  t'ing-ch^ai 
with  a petition  written  upon  red  paper  in  the  usual 


132 


PIRACIES  AND  MURDERS 


legal  form.  I noticed  the  words  “ human  life  ” and 
“ arrest  the  offenders  ” ; but,  notwithstanding  this  terrible 
state  of  affairs,  I had  my  bath  as  usual,  and  came  cool 
to  the  affray.  Then  it  appeared  that  A-lu,  the  rich 
storekeeper,  “ and  others,”  had  charged  three  seamen 
belonging  to  a British  steamer  with  premeditated  mur- 
der. The  victim  was  in  a critical  state,  and  the  steamer 
was  about  to  start.  After  some  shuffling,  the  gentry 
agreed  to  bring  the  “ body  ” for  inspection,  protesting 
meanwhile  that  I was  assuming  a great  risk,  as  complete 
rest  was  the  only  chance  of  the  man’s  surviving.  Up 
marched  the  bearers  of  the  bier  in  solemn  procession, 
and  A-lu,  who  was  rather  a bully,  delivered  a menacing 
speech,  calling  upon  me,  in  the  name  of  justice  and 
British  honour,  to  prevent  the  “ escape  ” of  the  steamer. 

What  humbug  was  at  the  bottom  of  all  this  of  course 
I could  not  guess,  but  I felt  sure  the  whole  thing 
was  a swindle.  However,  in  China  it  is  dangerous  to 
trifle  with  “human  life,”  and  either  the  victim  might 
commit  suicide,  or  the  victim’s  friends  murder  him  out 
of  sheer  spite  ; — nothing  more  common  in  China.  So 
I sent  for  Dr.  Underwood,  physician  to  the  gaol, 
and  we  held  a grave  “ inquest  ” in  front  of  my  house 
door.  At  first  A-lu  would  not  allow  the  shroud  to 
be  moved  off ; then  he  would  not  permit  the  body  to 
be  touched.  No  directions  were  given  to  the  doctor : 
he  was  simply  requested  coram  populo  to  state  what 
was  the  matter.  The  feet  were  not  yet  cold — that 
was  one  comfort ; the  heart  was  distinctly  beating ; 


PAGODA  ISLAND,  KOOCHOVV  RIVER.  \l'o face  p.  132. 


i 


“HOIST  WITH  HIS  OWN  PETAR 


133 


no  external  wounds  were  visible  beyond  a few  black 
and  blue  marks,  which  might  be  dirt ; but  A-lu  said 
the  internal  injuries  were  so  grave  that  the  “ murdered  ’’ 
man  could  not  be  induced  to  swallow  even  a cup  of 
tea.  Remembering  the  sad  death  of  A-no’s  brother, 
I felt  rather  skeery  about  internal  injuries.  The  result 
was  the  doctor  gave  it  up.  “ I can’t  say  what  is  the 
matter,  because  I can  see  nothing,  and  his  circulation 
is  going  on  in  a normal  way.”  Under  these  circum- 
stances there  was  nothing  for  it  but  to  “ lay  him 
gently  down  ” in  a native  building,  and  the  English 
constable  was  directed  to  watch  the  house  all  night, 
or  make  the  consular  boatmen  take  turns  with  him. 
But  first  of  all  a message  was  sent  to  the  captain, 
whose  steamer  lay  several  miles  away,  and  the  three 
“ murderers  ” were  given  up  informally  by  him  on  my 
personal  guarantee. 

The  next  day  A-lu  and  his  friends  applied  to  the 
constable  for  permission  to  speak  to  the  prisoners, 
which  was  refused.  From  the  prisoners’  own  account 
it  appeared  that  the  injured  man  had  attempted  to 
steal  a dollar,  and  in  his  haste  to  escape  arrest  by 
the  victimised  sailors,  had  jumped  rather  heavily 
into  his  own  boat  and  made  off.  Either  he  or  his 
master  A-lu  had  trumped  up  a story  in  order  to 
escape  a charge  themselves,  or  to  extort  money 
from  the  steamer.  Of  course  the  local  mandarin  was 
obliged  to  back  up  A-lu’s  petition  ; but  on  the  third 
day  he  seems  to  have  suspected  a mare’s  nest,  for  the 


134 


PIRACIES  AND  MURDERS 


“ injured  man  ” could  not  well  die  under  observation, 
and  I took  care  that  no  one  should  inflict  wounds  upon 
him.  The  mandarin  then  came  to  see  me,  in  order 
to  ascertain  something  about  the  proposed  “ trial  ” : he 
at  once  saw  that  “ the  cat  was  out  ” when  I proposed 
a settlement  as  follows:  Full  wages  for  the  seamen 

unjustly  accused,  during  the  round  voyage  of  the 
steamer  to  Hongkong  and  back  ; the  injured  man 
to  be  flogged  in  the  presence  of  my  constable ; 
apology  by  the  gentry,  with  crackers  and  a pork 
feast  all  round ; fifty  dollars  fine  for  A-lu. — The 
case  was  thus  settled  over  a bottle  of  champagne. 


THE  GREAT  SPANISH  MURDER  CASE 

A FEARFUL  “ murder  ” was  reported  to  have  been 
committed  by  an  Englishman  one  night  at  Pagoda 
Anchorage.  Somehow  or  other,  every  one  in  trouble 
seems  to  obtain  British  nationality  in  one  way  or 
another.  At  all  events,  it  is  always  the  British 
consul  who  has  to  square  matters.  The  usual  official 
petition  came  in,  and  “ life  for  life  ” was  demanded 
in  due  course.  A little  preliminary  enquiry  elicited 
the  information  that  the  murderee  was  not  yet  dead, 
and  that  the  murderous  Englishman  was  a Manilaman 
of  Spanish  nationality  employed  on  an  Australian 
barque.  There  had  been  a row  in  a grog-shop ; the 
Spaniards  had  been  pursued  ; and  Pedro  de  los  Santos, 
as  the  prisoner  was  called,  had  jostled  one  Chinaman 


MORITURUS  VOS  SALUTAT 


135 


overboard,  and  prodded  him,  as  he  “drownded,”  with 
a boat-hook. 

My  “ jurisdiction  ” in  a matter  of  assault  would 
have  been  clear  if  the  affair  had  taken  place  on 
or  even  round  the  barque ; but  the  scrimmage 
was  an  amphibious  one,  as  much  on  shore  as 
off  it,  especially  as  the  body  floated  safe  home.  In 
such  cases  the  French,  and  some  other  nations,  not 
only  do  not  claim,  but  they  refuse  jurisdiction. 
However,  the  Spaniards  are  very  touchy  about 
their  sovereign  rights  and  their  dignity,  and  (being 
a lawyer  of  the  “ utter  ” bar  myself)  I naturally  at 
once  discerned  a “ conflict  of  legal  and  diplomatic 
opinion  ” in  the  makings  of  it. 

The  Chief  Justice,  to  whom  I applied  for  advice, 
was,  of  course,  “ quite  clear  ” ; but  he  still  managed 
to  leave  me  in  doubt  whether  I should  “ take  ” or 
“offer”  jurisdiction.  I decided,  simply  for  a novelty, 
to  “offer”  it  to  His  Most  Catholic  Majesty’s  Consul- 
General  at  Amoy,  who  accordingly  despatched  his 
“ vice,”  Seuor  Perera,  with  all  proper  ceremony,  to 
try  the  case.  Senor  Perera  made  a nice  little  holiday 
of  it,  and  brought  his  wife  too.  It  was  also  a 
great  day  for  Pagoda  Anchorage  ; and  a small  “ tiffin  ” 
was  given  at  my  house,  in  honour  of  the  distin- 
guished visitors,  during  an  adjournment  of  the  court ; — 
“ Butchered  to  make  a British  holiday.” 

The  case  was  conducted  in  Spanish,  Tagal,  and 
various  Chinese  dialects,  sagacious  obiter  dicta  being 


136 


PIRACIES  AND  MURDERS 


thrown  out  by  the  observant  host  in  sturdy  English.  I 
occupied  a seat  on  the  bench,  from  time  to  time  mur- 
muring sage  counsel  into  the  ears  of  my  learned  Spanish 
brother  ; but  in  what  capacity  I never  even  reflected. 
The  credibility  of  witnesses  seemed  to  depend  entirely 
on  whether  they  claimed  to  be  catdlicos  or  not.  The 
“ papers  ” and  notes  were  voluminous,  and  I suppose 
they  are  now  the  property,  by  conquest,  of  the 
United  States ; for  both  they  and  the  prisoner  were 
sent  off  to  the  High  Court  at  Manila,  the  case  being 
altogether  too  grave  for  “the  court  below.” 

Enough  of  the  “murdered”  man  was  left  to  admit 
of  our  inspecting  his  features  at  the  trial ; and,  as  quite 
three  weeks  had  elapsed,  there  was,  in  the  judgment  of 
the  court,  good  hope  of  his  surviving.  But  the  women 
of  the  family  did  not  quite  see  where  they  came  in, 
if  the  whole  business  was  to  leave  “the  jurisdiction” 
and  go  to  Manila.  The  choc  (^opinions  was  such  that, 
in  order  to  relieve  myself  from  the  pressure  of  female 
petitions  and  bowlings,  I endeavoured  to  impress  upon 
the  Spanish  authorities  that  the  dignity  of  Spain 
would  be  best  consulted  by  their  making  a small 
compensation  allowance  to  the  mother ; but  the  in- 
transigeant  Spaniards  would  only  give  five  dollars, 
and  said,  in  effect : “ No ! They  have  demanded 
Spanish  law,  and  they  have  got  it.  If  they  had 
offered  to  hush  the  matter  up  at  first,  we  might 
have  given  something  more ; but,  as  it  is,  the  cost 
of  a return  journey  between  Amoy  and  Pagoda, 


WORKS  BOTH  WAYS 


137 


and  of  shipping  the  prisoner  to  Manila  will  amount  to 
several  hundred  dollars  at  least.”  So  back  went  the 
disconsolate  Chinese  family  to  its  usual  routine. 

Soon — almost  the  very  next  week,  in  fact — I had 
occasion  to  pay  an  official  visit  in  the  full  splendour 
of  uniform  to  a Chinese  man-of-war.  As  I stepped 
majestically  on  to  the  quarter-deck,  the  quartermaster 
saluted  fiercely ; but  I thought  I recognised  his  face, 
and  even  detected  the  ghost  of  a wink  in  his  eye.  Sure 
enough,  it  was  the  murdered  man,  who,  seeing  there 
was  nothing  to  be  got  by  shamming,  had  gone  quietly 
back  to  his  work.  I spoke  to  the  commander  about 
it,  and  I think  it  turned  out  that  the  man  had  got  sick 
leave  (to  attend  the  trial).  The  captain  did  not  view 
the  matter  at  all  seriously — neither  did  I — and  thought 
him  a very  smart  man : in  fact,  I think  he  had 
originally  obtained  his  billet  on  account  of  his  warlike 
courage  in  defeating,  during  a scrimmage,  a boatiul  of 
Spaniards,  as  he  swam  unarmed  in  the  water. 


THE  PIRACY  OF  THE  NAMOA. 

One  evening  I received  a request  from  one  of  our 
most  charming  residents  to  “ step  over  for  a moment.” 
She  said  : “ What  do  you  say  to  this  ? " 

The  telegram  ran  : “ Namoa  attacked  by  pirates.  I 
am  safe  and  unhurt. — Jack.” 

I replied : “ I should  be  inclined  to  say  ‘ Bar  sells ! ’ 
But,  in  any  case,  I would  go  comfortably  to  sleep  and 


138 


PIRACIES  AND  MURDERS 


think  nothing  more  about  him.  If  it  is  a practical  joke, 
he  will  thus  get  no  ‘ rise  ’ out  of  you  ; and  if  it  is  true, 
why,  he  says  he  is  safe.” 

Such  was  the  responsum  prudentis,  and  it  was  also  the 
sensible  view  Mrs.  Saunders  decided  to  take.  (Should 
this  ever  meet  the  gallant  captain’s  eye,  I beg  to  inform 
him  that  there  was  no  particular  excitement  about  him.) 

But  next  day  precise  news  came  from  Hongkong  of 
a horrible  tragedy  at  sea.  When  the  brave  Captain 
Pocock  and  his  passengers  were  sitting  down  to  dinner 
in  the  saloon,  a pistol  was  fired  at  them  through  the 
skylight,  and  from  the  alarms  and  excursions,  the 
yelling  and  miscellaneous  potting  which  ensued,  it  was 
evident  that  some  of  the  Chinese  “passengers  ” had  risen, 
— quite  an  old  game  in  the  Far  East  Record  speed 
was  shown  in  getting  into  the  closed  cabins,  from  the 
door-chinks  of  which  full  many  an  eye  took  cautious 
stock  of  events.  The  pirates,  not  knowing  how  many 
firearms  were  below  (there  were  none),  offered  to  parley, 
and  said  that  if  the  captain  went  up  the  stairs  alone 
they  would  not  harm  any  one.  Captain  Pocock  did  so, 
and  was  at  once  shot  dead. 

To  cut  a long  story  short,  the  pirates  plundered  all  the 
Chinese  passengers  first  ; took  away  the  ship’s  treasure, 
or  whatever  miscellaneous  property  they  could  carry  off ; 
and  gradually  worked  the  helpless  officers  and  European 
passengers  one  by  one  into  a chart-room  or  cabin  on 
deck.  All  the  white  men  on  board  were  run  into  this 
tiny  room,  the  thermometer  standing  at  about 


BANISH  PLUMP  JACK? 


139 


140°  in  the  sun,  door  locked,  all  windows  closed. 
Captain  Saunders — hero  of  many  scrimmages — amongst 
them  ; instant  death  to  follow  the  slightest  resistance  ; 
and  a general  feeling  that  they  might  ultimately  be 
burnt  alive  in  this  Black  Hole. 

By  and  by,  a pirate  came  to  reliev’e  the  party  of 
their  jewels  and  portable  property  : this  was  done  with 
comparative  politeness.  Now,  it  so  happened  that 
Captain  Saunders,  like  Shake.speare’s  justice,  was  a 
man  (and  a worthy  man). 

In  fair  round  belly,  with  good  capon  lined ; 

and  the  gracefully  curved  outline  of  his  middle  person 
was  such  that  if  his  gold  watch  could  be  thrust  into 
his  breeches  pocket,  and  forced  down  (no  easy  matter) 
into  the  loose  abyss  below,  it  became  invisible  to  the 
naked  or  untutored  eye,  and  at  once  merged,  so  to 
speak,  into  his  natural  anatomy.  Accordingly,  “ Jack  ” 
(for  it  was  he),  having  achieved  this  conjuring  feat  in 
secret,  boldly  presented  his  portly  form  to  the  pirate, 
emptied  his  waistcoat  fobs  and  other  visible  pockets  of 
a few  trifles,  took  off  his  rings,  and  fiercely  slapped  his 
apparently  voided  trousers  pockets,  in  order  to  show 
how  empty  they  were,  Like  that  of  his  equally 
celebrated  namesake  in  the  play,  “valiant  Jack’s” 
face  always  convinced  you  at  once : a mere  look, 
therefore,  was  enough  for  the  pirate. 

I learnt  all  this  from  Captain  Saunders  himself, 
whose  blood-curdling  narrative,  moreover,  was  delivered 


140 


PIRACIES  AND  MURDERS 


before  me  at  Pagoda  Anchorage  (during  refreshments) 
in  the  presence  of  his  most  amiable  wife  ; so  that  there 
is  no  mistake  about  it.  How  the  pirates  left  with  their 
booty  ; how  the  steamer  got  to  Hongkong ; how  the 
villains  were  caught  and  decapitated  ; — these  are  mere 
newspaper  details,  which  any  one  can  read  : my  sole 
point  is  the  gold  watch.  Captain  Jack  was  too  many, 
even  for  the  Chinese  pirate  who  had  him  “ cabined, 
cribbed,  confined.” 

MURDER  WILL  OUT 

On  my  arrival  in  Bhamo  in  1892,  almost  the  first 
piece  of  news  I received  through  my  writer  from  across 
the  China  frontiers  was  that  a soldier  had  murdered 
one  of  his  officers  and  escaped  to  Burma.  The  British 
executive  at  Rangoon  was  accordingly  notified  that 
it  was  almost  certain  his  extradition  would  be  applied 
for.  Meanwhile  the  writer  was  returning  to  China  by 
sea  on  a year’s  leave,  and  I engaged  as  substitute 
a man  who  had  been  employed  in  that  capacity  by 
the  Shan  chief  of  Matin — a contested  piece  of  frontier 
territory.  It  so  happened  that  this  new  writer  had 
once  met  the  murderer,  and  was  acquainted  with  his 
features. 

I heard  nothing  more  of  the  matter  for  over  six 
months,  when  I was  “on  tour”  in  Tennasserim. 
A bundle  of  Chinese  despatches  from  China  was  there 
delivered  to  me,  one  of  which  was  from  the  Viceroy 
Wang  Wen-shao,  asking  for  the  surrender  of  the 


THE  IJHAMO  “china  STREET”  AND  HARBEr’s  SHOP  (SEE  ALSO  PAGE  246).  [To  face  p.  no. 


I THANK  THEE  FOR  THY  CONFIDENCES  141 


assassin.  Under  these  circumstances  I telegraphed 
instructions  to  the  writer  to  place  himself  at  the  dis- 
posal of  the  deputy-commissioner.  When,  a month 
later,  I returned  to  Bhamo,  I learnt  that  my  t'ing-ch^ai 
(official  messenger)  had  been  impounded  by  mistake 
for  the  writer,  and  had  gone  to  the  Ruby  Mines, 
where  the  murderer  was  reported  to  be  lurking.  In 
a few  days  the  i'ing-ch'ai  returned,  attired  in  a new 
suit  of  clothes,  with  the  following  story  : 

“ On  receiving  my  instructions  he  had  at  once 
offered  his  services,  and  at  the  suggestion  of  the 
British  authorities  he  had  proceeded  down  the 
Irrawaddy  to  Mal6,  and  there  fitted  himself  out  with 
some  mules  laden  with  cotton  with  which  to  proceed 
to  Mogok,  disguised  as  a merchant.  On  the  second 
day  he  was  attacked  by  some  dacoits,  plundered  of  his 
small  caravan,  and  stripped  of  everything  he  possessed 
but  his  jacket  and  trousers.  In  this  plight  he  tramped 
the  rest  of  the  way,  arriving  in  about  a week,  footsore 
and  hungry,  at  his  destination.  At  a small  inn  he 
met  a Chinaman,  who,  learning  that  he  had  come 
from  Bhamo,  and  mistaking  him  for  a fellow-refugee, 
at  once  expressed  his  satisfaction.  He  said:  ‘You  are 
the  very  man  I want.  The  fact  is,  I murdered  my 
officer  last  spring,  and  I have  every  reason  to  believe 
that  application  is  being  made  for  my  extradition.’ 
He  then  proceeded  to  relate  the  whole  circumstances 
in  minute  detail.  The  t'ing-ch'ai,  without  showing 
any  emotion,  took  the  first  opportunity  to  visit  the 


142 


PIRACIES  AND  MURDERS 


deputy-commissioner,  who,  on  hearing  this  unexpected 
story,  at  once  had  the  man  arrested.” 

The  t’ing-ch^ai,  it  seems,  first  gave  his  evidence,  and 
then  returned  to  Bhamo  to  put  in  a claim  for  his 
pecuniary  losses,  which  were  not  liquidated  without 
some  little  difficulty  and  criticism. 

A few  weeks  later  I was  taking  my  morning  tea 
on  the  verandah,  when  I saw  a couple  of  Burmese 
soldiers  marching  towards  the  frontier  at  Nampaung, 
strongly  armed  : 

And  Eugene  Aram  walked  between, 

With  gyves  upon  his  wrist. 

He  was  executed  at  Momein. 


CHAPTER  VII 


FOR  WAYS  THAT  ARE  DARK 

THE  GOVERNMENT  AND  THE  PICKPOCKET 

During  part  of  1871  McLeavy  Brown  and  myself 
were  jointly  engaged  in  the  work  of  the  Chinese 
secretariat,  and  to  assist  us  in  our  duties  there  were 
“ Old  T'ien,”  whom  we  used  to  call  “the  Joss,”  (as  his 
services  were  only  required  for  particularly  involuted 
phraseology,)  and  “ Old  Lew,”  who  did  the  solid 
writing,  assisted  by  a couple  of  spotty-faced,  giggling 
young  scribes  whose  work  did  not  come  under  our 
individual  notice.  One  morning  Old  Lew  came  in, 
flushed  with  indignant  excitement,  to  say  that  he 
had  been  robbed  of  his  spectacles  by  a fob-snipper 
( = pickpocket,  but  the  Chinese  hang  their  various 
purses,  pouches,  and  cases  to  the  belt),  and  wished 
the  Foreign  Office  to  be  informed  at  once.  This 
seemed  rather  a large  order,  but  we  sent  him  in 
to  interview  Sir  Thomas  (then  Mr.)  Wade  himself, 
feeling  on  our  own  part  much  like  a couple  of  school- 
boys who  despatch  a greenhorn  in  to  a fierce  grocer,  in 
order  to  enquire  the  price  of  pigeon’s  milk  or  strap- 


143 


144 


FOR  WAYS  THAT  ARE  DARK 


oil.  To  our  surprise  he  succeeded  in  his  mission, 
having  explained  to  the  Minister’s  satisfaction  that  it 
was  customary  with  all  “ genuine  ” thieves  to  take 
their  plunder  to  the  Captain-General’s  yamen  for 
three  days,  so  that,  in  case  any  person  of  influence 
should  complain,  it  might  be  rescued  from  the  hotch- 
pot, in  which  the  police  shared.  Accordingly,  a note 
was  sent  in  to  His  Imperial  Highness,  Prince  Kung 
“ and  others,”  couched  much  as  follows  : 

“ H.M.  Minister  has  received  a petition  from  his 
writer  Lew  to  the  effect  that  at  nine  o’clock  this 
morning,  as  he  was  passing  the  Palace  Gate  near 
Coal  Hill  to  come  to  his  work,  a fob-snipper  snatched 
hold  of  his  crystal  spectacles  and  made  off.  H.M. 
Minister  opines  that  violent  robberies  of  this  sort 
under  the  very  ‘ wheels  of  the  chariot  ’ cannot  possibly 
meet  with  the  toleration  of  H.E.  the  Captain-General ; 
moreover,  Mr.  Lew  cannot  do  his  work  without  those 
spectacles ; and  he  therefore  begs  that  the  Prince  and 
Ministers  will  kindly  bring  the  matter  to  the  notice  of 
the  high  functionary  named.  He  takes  this  opportunity 
to  renew  the  assurances  of  his  highest  consideration.” 
McLeavy  Brown  and  I lost  no  opportunity  during 
the  day  in  “ chaffing  ” Old  Lew,  who,  however,  adopted 
a “ he-laughs-best-who-laughs-last  ” attitude,  and  nodded 
or  snorted  defiantly,  as  much  as  to  say ; “ A time 

will  come.”  Sure  enough  that  very  evening,  or  the 
next  morning,  a note  arrived  from  the  Tsung-li  Yamen 
running  somewhat  in  this  fashion  : 


OLD  LEW  GOT  HIS  SPECTACLES  145 


“ They  who  respectfully  open  out  in  reply,  beg 
to  state  that  they  have  received  etc.,  etc.  That  in 
broad  daylight  a fob-snipper  should  extend  his  gall 
to  such  dimensions  as  to  snatch  the  spectacles  of 
H.M.  Minister’s  writer  is  indeed  a practice  which 
cannot  be  allowed  to  grow.  Exclusively  of  having 
sent  on  the  petition  to  H.E.  the  Captain-General  of 
the  Nine  Gates,  requesting  him  to  instruct  the  division, 
to  command  the  etc.,  etc.,  one  and  all  to  cJia  (enquire) 

and  to  ts'wei  (hurry)  [everybody  everywhere] Just 

as  these  lines  were  being  written,  lo  and  behold ! a 
note  is  received  from  the  Captain-General,  stating  that 
one  of  his  gendarmes  had  found  a pair  of  spectacles 
on  the  ground,  and  had  honestly  brought  them  to 
the  office,  etc.,  etc.” 

In  concocting  their  little  stories,  the  Chinese  nearly 
always  manage  to  leave  something  out : in  this  case,  I 
think  it  was,  they  omitted  to  say  why  the  Captain- 
General  had  spontaneously  sent  to  the  Foreign  Office. 
I forget  exactly  how  it  was  put,  but  the  principle 
is  there  in  any  case,  and  the  letter  is  on  record  too 
(unless  the  “ Boxers  ” burnt  it) ; so  that  it  is  immaterial 
what  particular  form  of  make-believe  was  employed. 
Old  Lew  got  his  spectacles,  whilst  Brown  and  I 
accepted  a second  place  in  knowledge  of  mankind. 

THE  DISHONEST  POSTMAN 

In  the  old  Canton  days  the  post-office  was  in  the 
Consulate  (as  perhaps  it  is  now),  and  I was  for  some 

10 


146  FOR  WAYS  THAT  ARE  DARK 


time  “postman.”  There  was  a very  steady  Hakka 
Chinese  employed  as  stamper  and  carrier,  and  no 
complaint  whatever  had  at  any  time  been  made 
against  him.  The  Hakkas  (=  guest-families,  or 
immigrants)  may  be  compared  to  Celts  living  amongst 
Saxons  in  Lancashire ; and  they  are,  moreover,  dis- 
tinguished amongst  Chinese  for  their  clannishness  and 
bodily  cleanliness. 

One  hot  summer  day  I happened  to  take  by 
the  top  handle  the  box  in  which  I locked  my  current 
stamps,  and  to  my  surprise  the  glue  had  so  softened 
with  the  heat  that  I found  no  difficulty  in  tearing  the 
upper  slab  off  the  remaining  framework  of  the  lid. 
Of  course  it  at  once  occurred  to  me : “It  would  be 
easy  for  any  one  knowing  this  to  steal  my  stamps,” 
and  I resolved  not  to  keep  many  there  in  future. 
Just  then,  in  walked  the  carrier  : “ Mr.  X.,  the  French 
watchmaker,  asks  you  to  stamp  this  local  letter, 
and  give  him  change  out  of  a thirty-cent  stamp.” 

I had  often  obliged  people  in  this  way  before,  and 
under  ordinary  circumstances  would  have  done  so 
again,  without  further  parley.  However,  in  this  instance, 
it  occurred  to  me  to  write  to  the  Frenchman,  who  at 
once  replied  that  he  had  given  his  own  man  the 
requisite  postage  in  silver.  Here,  then,  was  a probable 
case  of  theft  ; but  how  bring  it  home  ? 

Luckily,  it  was  near  the  beginning  of  the  month, 
and  I had  “balanced”  the  safe.  I had  no  idea  how 
many  stamps  I had  removed  from  the  safe  to  the  box  ; 


CIRCUMSTANTIAL  EVIDENCE 


147 


but,  by  cudgelling  my  brains,  I could  recall  nearly  all 
I had  sold  during  four  or  five  days.  This  operation 
left  a discrepancy  of  three  thirty-cent  and  twelve 
eight-cent  stamps  short,  for  certain  : there  were  others  : 
total,  $4‘65.  I sent  for  the  stamper,  and  said  simply  : 
“ Mr.  X.  says  he  never  gave  you  a thirty-cent  stamp. 
Look  at  this  lid  : I miss  $4'65.  Give  me  these  missing 
stamps  back  at  once,  or  leave  in  five  minutes.” 

The  man  gave  me  one  agonised  look,  walked  to 
his  bundle,  took  out  from  his  purse  the  stamps  (less 
the  one  thirty-cent  label),  and  handed  them  to  me. 

I then  said:  “Write  as  I dictate:  ‘I,  A-kem,  have 
been  post-clerk  for  many  years  at  H.M.  Consulate, 
and  the  officer  in  charge  has  always  treated  me  kindly. 
Unhappily  I have  yielded  to  temptation,  and  stolen 
$465.  Instead  of  sending  me  in  to  the  Namhoi 
magistrate,  Mr.  Parker  has  graciously  made  me  write 
this  in  my  own  handwriting.’  ” 

This  was,  of  course,  written  in  Chinese.  Nothing 
further  was  said,  and  he  went  about  his  work  fault- 
lessly as  usual.  When  New  Year’s  time  came,  the 
employes  were  sent  for  to  receive  their  official  “ Christmas 
boxes  ” from  me  as  cashier.  A-kem’s  present  was 
the  paper  he  had  signed,  and  I never  had  further 
occasion  to  suspect  him.  But,  on  my  return  to 
Canton  two  years  later,  I heard  that  he  had  once 
more  been  either  found  guilty  or  suspected  of  dis- 
honesty, and  had  been  dismissed  ; — I hope  on  proper 
evidence. 


148  FOR  WAYS  THAT  ARE  DARK 


THE  THIEF  ON  THE  ROOF 

Despite  the  well-known  hospitality  of  the  British 
merchant  princes,  during  the  second  stay  I lived  most 
of  my  time  at  Canton  in  the  old  yamen  within  the 
walls  ; but  even  when  I did  not  live  inside  the  city, 
I still  varied  the  charms  of  European  society  with 
an  occasional  night  of  purely  Chinese  life.  One  day 
I was  staying  at  a small  half-Chinese  house  near 
the  old  “Thirteen  Hong”  site,  and  just  as  I was 
dozing  off  to  sleep  I heard  a rustling  noise  near,  and 
then  distinguished  the  shrill  cry  of  A-shem  (=  aunty), 
the  charwoman,  calling  to  some  one.  The  conversation, 
translated  into  corresponding  English  style,  was  much 
as  follows  : “ Get  along  out  o’  that,  you  blackguard ! ” 
(Whispers,  apparently  on  the  roof.)  “The  master  is 
here  too,  so  you’d  better  clear  out.” 

Many  readers  will  imagine  that  my  embarrassment 
resembled  that  of  Mr.  Pickwick  when,  on  hearing  a 
noise  in  his  bedroom,  he  put  his  head  out  of  the 
curtains  and  discovered  an  elderly  maiden  doing  up 
her  back  hair.  A-shem’s  place  was  clearly  in  the 
scullery,  where  she  had  a shakedown,  and  not  in  the 
attic.  However,  I was  not  particularly  embarrassed, 
and  shouted  out : “ A-shem,  ah  ! ” 

“Yes,  sir.” 

“ Who’s  that  you’re  talking  to  ? ” 

“ It’s  only  Tim,  the  thief,  sir.  It’s  all  right ; he 
won’t  come  again  to-night.” 


WATCHMAN,  SPARE  THAT  THIEF!  149 


A-shem  did  not  seem  inclined  to  be  communicative 
as  I passed  through  the  “ Chinese  quarter  ” below  on 
my  way  out  of  the  house  the  next  morning  ; but  when 
I got  home  to  my  “ teacher,”  who  always  turned  up 
at  5 a.m.  for  conversation,  I asked  him : “ I was 
staying  with  A-ngen  at  the  Thirteen  Hongs  last 
night,  and  A-shem  said  Tim  the  thief  was  there. 
Does  he  belong  to  the  Consulate  ? ” 

“Tim?”  (thoughtfully).  “ I don’t  know  Tim.  What 
else  did  she  say  ? ” 

“ She  said : ‘ All  right ; he  won’t  come  again  to- 
night.’ ” 

“ Oh  ! that’s  nothing.  That’s  only  a common  thief, — 
one  of  the  local  thieves.” 

“ But  how  is  it  A-sh^m  seems  to  be  on  friendly 
terms  with  him  ? ” 

“Ha!  ha!  You  don’t  understand,  old  sire  [=  your 
honour].  The  municipal  discipline  of  Canton  is  very 
strict.  If  a thief  comes  one  night,  and  finds  the 
people  on  the  alert,  it  is  quite  an  understood  thing 
that  he  is  not  to  try  again  that  night ; and  so  A-shem, 
anticipating  a visit,  just  went  up  to  the  attic  when 
she  heard  a noise  to  show  him  that  you  were  all  awake 
and  about.  So  long  as  you  do  not  raise  a cry  when 
you  detect  a thief,  he  will  be  reasonable  with  you. 
If  you  had  given  him  in  charge,  another  night  Tim’s 
friends  might  have  done  a little  burglary  with  violence 
instead  of  mere  thieving.” 


FOR  WAYS  THAT  ARE  DARK 


150 


AN  UNSOLVED  MYSTERY 

A-CHAK,  usually  Anglicised  as  “Jack,”  was  a Protestant 
Christian  employed  as  copyist  in  the  Canton  Consulate  : 
he  wrote  a clear  English  hand,  and  had  been  trained 
in  British  ways  in  Guiana,  to  which  place  about 
that  time  a good  many  Chinese  coolies  from  Canton 
had  been  sent,  to  work  on  the  sugar  estates  there. 
(I  made  some  enquiry  into  their  condition  some  years 
later  at  Barbados,  in  1894,  when  I met  several 
officials  from  Guiana.)  In  fact,  under  the  able  super- 
intendency of  Mr.  Theophilus  Sampson,  the  highly 
respected  tutor  of  Manchu  youth  in  Canton,  the 
“ export  ” to  Guiana,  under  fair  conditions,  of  coolies 
was  just  closing  when  I first  reached  Canton  in 
1874  ; and  Judge  Smale  of  Hongkong  was  then  assist- 
ing Sir  Brooke  Robertson  to  put  a stop  to  the  Macao 
“slave”  trade.  In  1879  Judge  Smale  cited  from  the 
judicial  bench  certain  statements,  accepted  as  correct 
by  some  of  the  representative  local  Chinese,  touching 
the  real  social  status  of  slaves,  as  explained  in  a 
modest  pamphlet  of  mine  on  Comparative  Family  Law. 
I have  no  personal  experience  of  slaves,  but  I take 
this  opportunity  of  casually  alluding  to  the  subject 
in  order  to  complete  the  scope  of  my  book. — Well, 
A-chak  was  also  the  consular  shipping-clerk,  and  in 
this  capacity  he  had  the  temporary  charge  of  certain 
fees,  often  amounting  in  one  month  to  several  hundred 
dollars.  He  had  always  been  a quiet,  well-behaved 


HIN  1ST  HIN 


man,  but  there  was  a deep,  “ vested  rights,”  and 
calculating  look  in  his  eye  which  caused  me  to  view 
him  with  less  sympathy  than  I instinctively  extended 
to  my  “ pagan  ” chair-bearers,  coolies,  and  other 
hangers-on. 

The  late  Pere  Gaillard,  S.J.,  in  his  recent  valuable 
work  on  the  Opening  of  China  {Nankin  Port  ouverf), 
finds  fault  with  Mr.  Archibald  Little  (the  husband  of 
the  self-sacrificing  lady  who  is  now  engaged  in  “ letting 
out  ” squeezed  female  feet)  for  suspecting  Chinese 
Christians:  “ M.  Little  conseille  aux  etrangers  de  ne 
point  engager  coftime  boys  on  domestiques  des  Chinois 
convertis  ” ; but  I must  say  I share  the  view,  though 
not  on  the  same  grounds  : it  is  perhaps  for  the  same 
reason  that  causes  Frenchmen  to  look  askance  at  the 
deputy  of  the  Chanibre  who  masquerades  as  a Mussul- 
man in  Paris.  I have  the  support  of  Dr.  Johnson, 
who,  when  Boswell  asked:  “Then,  sir,  a poor  Turk 
must  be  a Mahometan,  just  as  a poor  Englishman 
must  be  a Christian  ? ” replied,  “ Why,  yes,  sir.”  How- 
ever that  may  be,  whilst  I trusted  my  pagans,  I 
felt  no  inclination  to  trust  A-chak  an  inch  further 
than  I trusted  them. 

One  day  it  was  suddenly  announced  to  the  consul 
that  A-chak  had  been  robbed  at  his  own  quarters 
of  $33800.  I forget  exactly  how  it  was  stated  to 
have  happened,  but  I think  it  was  that  he  kept  the 
fees  in  a small  safe  of  his  own  ; and  he  had  a house 
of  his  own,  with  wife  and  family,  across  the  consular 


152 


FOR  WAYS  THAT  ARE  DARK 


creek  which  divides  Shamien  from  the  city,  as  well 
as  apartments  in  the  Consulate  on  the  Shamien  island. 
There  had  recently  been  a change  of  consul,  and  I 
had  been  requested  to  quit  the  old  yamen  in  order 
to  make  way  for  him,  and  had  transferred  myself  to 
the  said  island  ; so  that  there  was  a general  shaking 
up  and  reshuffling  of  servants  going  on. 

The  only  piece  of  real  evidence  given  at  the  pre- 
liminary enquiry  was  that  some  one  (a  pagan)  had 
met  A-chak  carrying  a heavy  parcel  from  his  consular 
lodging  away  to  his  own  house,  or  at  least  out  of  the 
consular  back  gate.  The  pagan  had  said  : “ How  now  ? 
What’s  that?”  Jack  admitted  that  he  had  replied  with 
a smile  : “ A disciple  of  Robin  Hood  ! ” (of  course  the 
Chinese  Robin  Hood).  As  Sergeant  Buzfuz  would  have 
remarked  to  a jury ; “ Gracious  Heavens,  gentlemen, 
what  does  this  mean  ? What  can  this  mean  ? ” 

However,  we  tried  the  case,  which  derived  an 
additional  element  of  suspicion  from  the  fact  that 
Jack  applied,  during  the  adjournment,  for  leave  “ to 
see  his  uncle  at  Fatshan”  city  (“uncles”  in  Chinese 
are  not  pawnbrokers).  Mr.  Sit,  the  assistant  Namhoi 
magistrate  or  “ sinister  hall,”  was  deputed  by  the  high 
authorities  and  by  his  senior  the  “ straight  hall,”  whilst  1 
was  deputed  by  the  consul.  Every  effort  was  made  in 
joint  investigation  to  arrive  at  the  truth  ; but  A-chak 
(if  guilty)  was  altogether  too  clever  for  us : owing 
to  his  knowledge  of  foreign  morality  and  notions  of 
truth,  law  of  evidence,  etc.,  he  wriggled  like  an  eel  out 


SEEING  PELF,  IDEAS  RISE 


153 


of  every  corner.  In  justice  to  him,  I must,  however, 
admit  the  possibility  of  his  innocence  : in  a Chinese 
court  the  thumb-screw  would  have  assisted  his  memory. 
I forget  how  the  money  loss  was  ultimately  made 
up.  It  was  not  the  British  Government  that  lost ; 
I think  (but  am  not  certain)  that  A-chak  and  his 
“ uncle  ” made  good  the  greater  portion  ; and  I am 
not  sure  but  what  the  consul  paid  part  himself. 


ANOTHER  DISHONEST  POSTMAN 

In  the  old  days  of  Canton  we  had  quite  a large  postal 
business  with  coolies  in  Guiana,  San  Francisco,  Australia, 
and  other  places  under  British  or  quasi-British  rule : 
money  was  often  sent  from  the  rustic  home  to  enable 
distressed  labourers  to  return,  or  for  other  reasons ; 
and  it  was  also  forwarded  by  successful  coolies  to  their 
families. 

Now,  as  I afterwards  learnt  at  Chungking,  where 
I perforce  made  use  of  native  post-offices  exclusively, 
the  security  of  letters  containing  money  is  maintained 
in  China  by  writing  outside  the  envelope  (like  our 
“ Haste ! haste  ! these  presents  ” of  bygone  days)  such 
words  as  “Most  important;  contains  gold!”  (I  may 
take  this  opportunity  to  mention  that  the  Chinese 
post-office  I used  had  ramifications  in  all  great  towns 
of  the  Empire,  made  no  trouble  about  half-ounces  and 
overweight,  and  to  a certain  extent  acted  as  insurer 
as  well  as  carrier : it  was  in  every  way  excellent. 


154 


FOR  WAYS  THAT  ARE  DARK 


alike  as  to  speed,  honesty,  and  promptness.)  Well, 
this  being  the  inherited  view  of  safety  en  route^  it 
was  not  to  be  wondered  at  that  the  Chinamen  of 
Canton,  hearing  of  the  wonderful  punctuality  of  the 
English  post-office,  should  beseech  the  consul  (in  whose 
offices  the  post-office  was)  to  be  careful : “ Highest 
import ! contains  twenty  dollars  ! The  consul  great 
man  will  lovingly  beware ! ” The  Postmaster-General 
at  Hongkong  took  every  possible  step  to  caution 
the  unsophisticated  people  about  this  dangerous 
practice,  and  exhorted  them  to  register  their  letters. 
Still,  complaints  came  from  Australia  that  money  had 
been  sent  thence  or  should  have  been  received  there, 
but  had  never  turned  up.  At  last  the  irregularity  was, 
by  process  of  exhaustion,  gradually  traced  to  Canton. 

The  successor  of  the  post-boy  A-kem,  (whose  delin- 
quencies have  been  recorded  under  another  head), 
was  a young  fellow  of  nice  manners  and  good  coun- 
tenance ; his  character  was  apparently  beyond  suspicion. 
And  yet  we  all  began  to  see  that  “he  smiled,  and 
murdered  while  he  smiled  ” ; — but  only  so  soon  as  we 
found  he  really  did  murder  (i.e.  thieve).  For  weeks  he 
was  watched  ; but  nothing  whatever  was  sure,  except 
that  certain  letters  containing  money,  known  to  have 
gone  into  his  box,  had  never  come  out  of  that  box, 
although  he  nominally  possessed  no  key. 

At  last  the  Postmaster-General,  the  officer  in  charge 
of  the  Canton  agency,  and  myself  as  handy  man 
in  general,  concocted  a little  scheme.  Some  one  in 


LEGERDEMAIN 


155 


Hongkong,  whose  name  was  unknown  and  whose 
writing  was  unrecognisable,  was  made  by  the  Post- 
master-General to  direct  a good  fat  letter-cover  in  some- 
thing after  this  style  : " Reverently  submitted  to  the 
Great  English  Consul.  Run  ! run  ! take  this  most  hasty 
letter  to  A-long,  son  of  A-chak  the  grocer.  South  Street, 
Adelaide,  New  Golden  Mountains  [=  Australia]. 
Beware ! beware ! twenty  dollars  are  within.  Alas ! 
caution ! ” The  practice  was  for  the  post-office  to 
scribble,  where  possible,  a simple  English  direction  for 
practical  use  on  Chinese  letters  addressed  in  this  curious 
fashion.  A man  was  made  to  hand  this  particular 
letter  in  at  Canton,  and  to  get  it  “signed  for”  in  a 
" chit-book.”  Then  the  post-boy  demurely  submitted  it 
to  be  directed  in  English ; stamped  it  with  the  other 
letters,  (the  postmaster  himself  meanwhile  seeing  that 
it  was  really  locked  in  the  box,  by  watching  pro- 
ceedings through  the  corner  of  his  eye)  ; and  off  the 
carrier  went  with  his  charge  to  the  steamer. 

It  was  at  least  half  a mile  to  the  wharf,  and  the 
post-boy  had  first  to  emerge  from  the  consular  “com- 
pound ” ; then  traverse  a broad,  shady  road  with  tall 
grass  growing  on  each  side  ; next  cross  a bridge,  work 
through  a crowd,  and  finally  elbow  his  way  across  the 
crowded  wharf  to  the  steamer.  One  or  two  trusty 
men  were  posted  at  intervals,  and  we  ourselves  dogged 
the  man’s  steps  some  distance  behind. 

Nothing  seemed  to  occur ; but  at  a point  decided 
upon  he  was  detained  and  examined.  The  box  was 


156  FOR  WAYS  THAT  ARE  DARK 


still  locked ; but  this  particular  covet  had  gone : he 
was  searched,  and  the  grass  was  searched ; the  torn 
letter-cover  was  picked  up  from  the  grass,  but  no  trace 
whatever  of  a key  or  of  the  bogus  contents  could  be 
found. 

Still,  it  was  manifestly  impossible  to  employ  him 
again  as  post-boy,  or  to  overlook  the  incident  in  itself. 
At  the  direction  of  the  consul  a joint  enquiry,  or  trial, 
was  held  by  a Chinese  sub-magistrate  who  understood 
European  ways,  and  by  myself.  So  far  as  I remember, 
there  was  no  evidence  whatever  upon  which  to  convict 
under  English  forms  of  law.  The  man’s  defence  was 
simple  and  effective:  “You  say  you  put  it  there;  but 
who  supports  you  ? Who  has  lost  the  money,  if  there 
was  money  ? ’’  However,  Chinese  law  is  not  English 
law,  and  the  man  was  sentenced  to  the  punishment 
of  wearing  the  wooden  collar. 

A lew  years  later  I ventured  to  post  an  unregistered 
a letter  from  Pagoda  Island  to  Hongkong  with  four 
dollar  notes  inside  it.  They  never  reached  their 
destination  ; and  the  only  consolation  I got  from  the 
Postmaster-General  was : “ It  serves  you  right : some 
Chinaman  has  the  money,  and  you  have  the  experi- 
ence.” 


THE  HEAD  THIEF 

I ARRIVED  at  Chungking  on  Christmas  Day,  1880, 
after  a month’s  experiences  of  a k*wa-tsz  (=  passenger- 
boat),  and  long  daily  walks  on  the  beautiful  banks. 


BLACK  CARE 


157 


I was  now  in  the  heart  of  Sz  Ch'wan,  and  it  was 
depressing  to  find  myself  pent  up  within  the  narrow 
walls  of  a rock  town,  from  which  there  was  no 
possible  exit  except  through  one  or  two  narrow 
gates.  Well  I remember  my  Christmas  cheer  of  eggs 
and  bacon,  with  heavy  bread  of  “ scratch  ” manufacture, 
eaten  from  the  end  of  a barrel  which  served  me  as  table. 
The  light  was  dismal ; the  room  dark  and  full  of  rats ; 
in  the  attempt  to  destroy  which  I poisoned  my  dog 
and  only  companion  almost  the  very  first  day.  The 
writer  and  official  servants  came  to  assure  me  of 
their  loyalty  ; but  it  seemed  to  me,  in  my  imaginative 
solitude,  that  covetousness  and  self-interest  were  stamped 
on  all  their  unfamiliar  faces.  The  local  people  are  mild, 
but  very  snaky  in  their  ways. 

The  writer  was  a Christian  and  a Roman  Catholic, 
a circumstance  which  certainly  rendered  him  a more 
efficient  instrument  for  political  purposes,  but  which  in 
no  way  inspired  me  with  extra  confidence  in  his  honesty 
of  mind.  It  was  not  many  hours  before  I had  an 
opportunity  to  test  his  “ local  ” ways  of  thinking.  A 
smart  visiting-card  was  handed  to  me  after  my  frugal 
repast ; but,  as  I did  not  feel  at  all  like  “ receiving,” 
I sent  word  to  “call  again,”  or  to  “stay  the  chariot” 
(=  not  at  home).  The  “boy”  came  in  holding  the 
card  once  more,  with  the  surprising  statement  that 
the  “ head  thief  ” wished  to  see  me.  The  writer,  by 
origin  an  importation  from  Yiin  Nan,  was  at  once 
sent  for,  and  he  promptly  explained  to  me  what 


158  FOR  WAYS  THAT  ARE  DARK 


a respectable  man  the  head  thief  was.  For  the  con- 
sideration of  one  dollar  a month’s  subscription,  my 
predecessor  had  always  been  exempt  from  robbery, 
and  on  the  whole  the  writer  thought  I had  better 
close  with  the  man  at  once.  Of  course  there  was  no 
threat ; it  was  only  ancient  local  custom,  as  with  the 
“ King  of  the  Beggars  ” : probably  I should  never  be 
robbed  in  any  case  ; certainly  not  in  such  a well- 
built  house  (the  writer’s  building  speculation)  as  the 
one  to  which  he  hoped  I would  soon  remove,  and 
where  perhaps  the  subscription  would  be  unnecessary. 

“ Does  the  man  wish  to  see  me  ? ” 

“ He  has  come  in  his  coat  and  hat  of  ceremony  ; 
but,  if  the  old  sire  likes,  I will  arrange  with  him.” 

And  so  it  was.  For  one  Mexican  dollar  a month 
I was  guaranteed  immunity,  and,  as  I intended  to 
travel  about  for  months  at  a time,  I was  not  sorry 
to  obtain  this  security  for  my  property. 

The  writer  in  question  was  the  same  man  who 
accompanied  the  brilliant  Mr.  E.  C.  Baber  on  his 
extensive  travels  in  the  Tibetan  and  Lolo  Highlands, 
and  he  was  certainly  a very  faithful  employ i \ moreover, 
his  new  house  was  so  constructed  that,  in  case  of  riot, 
refuge  might  be  taken  in  a sort  of  fortress  behind,  in 
which  he  and  his  wife  lived.  I had  one  occasion  actually 
to  use  it,  as  already  related  ; and  therefore  I may 
say  in  a measure  that  he  once  assisted  in  saving  my 
life,  for  which  I am  properly  grateful.  But  I never 
quite  trusted  him,  for  I could  not  help  feeling,  as  a 


DIVES  AND  LAZARUS 


159 


non-Catholic,  that  his  conscience  was  too  much  in 
the  power  of  the  French  priests ; who,  again,  were 
always  exceedingly  good  to  me ; but  whose  views  on 
the  subject  of  human  nature  and  of  “ evil  ” it  was  and 
is  quite  impossible  for  me  to  share. 

I may  mention  that  the  “ King  of  the  Beggars  ” 
above-mentioned  is  always  prepared  in  most  large 
Chinese  towns  to  guarantee  (according  to  subscription 
paid)  either  that  no  “ asker  ” will  come  at  all,  or  that  one 
copper  cash  per  diem  only  need  be  given  for  each  full 
ten  minutes  every  beggar  is  kept  howling.  If  no 
arrangement  at  all  be  made,  the  mendicant  bangs 
gridirons  and  howls  incessantly  until  he  is  bought  off 
personally  and  individually : this  often  leads  to  alter- 
cations, “ rows,”  and  false  charges,  for  the  beggar  will 
die  on  your  door-step  “as  soon  as  look  at  you,”  even 
leaving  written  “ evidence  ” behind. 


WHO  STEALS  MY  PURSE  STEALS  TRASH 

I CAN  only  remember  having  once  been  robbed  in 
China,  and  that  was  under  singular  conditions.  I 
had  arrived  at  a filthy  inn  in  a bleak,  isolated  spot, 
and  was  shown  into  a wretched  mud  “ division  ” of 
the  usual  type,  with  ill-fitting  door,  dilapidated  lath- 
and-plaster  walls,  rickety  ceiling,  suggestive  of  snakes 
and  spiders,  and  the  hotel  bucket  in  close  proximity. 
This  last  utensil  is  a purely  Chinese  economical  institu- 
tion, and  I will  only  say  of  it  (guardedly  and  indirectly) 


i6o  FOR  WAYS  THAT  ARE  DARK 

what  a respected  Cheshire  relative  of  mine  once  said 
in  my  hearing  of  certain  defective  farm  arrangements : 
“’Tain’t  like  good  sound  moock,  Jim;  I call  that  a 
downright  stink.”  To  crown  all,  eyes  were  peering  at 
me  through  various  holes. 

“ Boy  ! ” 

^'Djal”  (“Yes,  sir”). 

“ Bring  out  two  tea-tables,  and  put  them  together 
in  the  open.” 

The  “ open  ” is  the  “ common  ” part  of  the  one  huge 
room  of  which  such  rustic  inns  consist,  around  which  the 
tiny  divisions  for  sleeping,  storing,  etc.,  are  ranged ; 
it  is  the  sitting",  smoking-,  and  eating-room,  “ lavatory,” 
etc.,  of  all  guests  and  hosts ; including  pigs,  fowls,  and 
dogs.  Every  one  having  gone  to  bed,  or  to  kennel, 
I kicked  a few  porkers  aside,  ranged  the  tables,  made 
my  air-bed  on  them,  and  utilised  my  small  valise 
(containing  lumps  of  silver,  papers,  etc.)  as  a pillow, 
slipping  my  fur-lined  dressing-gown  round  it  in  such 
a way  that  I both  lay  on  it  and  had  my  head  on  it ; 
the  heavy  baggage  trunk  formed  a “ wall  ” for  the  feet. 
No  doubt  many  curious  eyes  watched  this  proceeding 
through  the  dim  light  of  the  filthy  rush-pot.  I then 
blew  out  the  rush,  put  my  big  stick  outside  the  blankets, 
and  was  fast  asleep  at  once. 

After  some  time  I woke,  dead  tired,  and  thought 
I heard  some  one  creeping  near  me ; with  a lunge 
of  my  stick  I hit  some  one  (it  might  have  been  a pig), 
and  thought  I heard  a faint  Apparently 


“ HIS  WARMEST  WELCOME  AT  AN  INN  ” i6i 

I dropped  off  again  instantly ; but  after  an  hour  or 
so  I again  awoke  uneasily  with  cold  feet  and  a 
sensation  of  swaying  about.  Feeling  instinctively  for 
the  valise,  I was  puzzled  not  to  feel  the  astrachan 
dressing-gown.  It  was  pitch  dark.  “ Boy  ! ” I shouted. 
A smothered  reply  came  from  one  of  the  bins.  “ Light 
the  lamps  at  once : call  the  landlord.  I’ve  had  my 
black  fur  stolen.”  Nothing  frightens  Chinamen  more 
than  the  angry  objurgations  of  a foreigner  in  his  own 
language. 

The  landlord  and  the  “ boy  ” soon  came  up,  half 
awake,  shuffling  on  their  sheepskins ; and  lit  the  rush 
lamps.  Some  one  had  got  under  one  table,  shifted 
me,  and  carried  off  the  fur  coat.  I suppose  they 
must  have  drugged  me,  as  they  are  experts  at  that 
art ; (they  use  a sort  of  powder  scattered  over  the 
victim’s  face).  “ Are  you  the  landlord  ? Then  bring 
me  paper,  inkstand,  and  brush.” 

The  chairman  and  coolies  were  all  roused  up 
i (3  a.m.),  and  ordered  to  prepare  their  tea  and  start  at 
^ once.  The  landlord  was  given  the  option  of  handing 
1 over  the  garment  or  about  fifty-three  taels  in  five 
j minutes ; third  alternative  not  stated.  Meanwhile,  I 
was  writing  the  following  letter  to  the  governor  {chou)  of 
the  nearest  city  ; but,  as  I spent  no  time  in  arguing, 

I the  “ alternative  ” was  silently  braved  by  the  obdurate 
^ and  calmly  calculating  landlord.  The  bill  (about  one 
; shilling  for  the  fourteen  of  us)  was  paid,  and  off  we  went, 

' silently  tramping  for  two  hours  in  the  raw  morning 

1 1 
I 


i62  for  ways  that  ARE  DARK 

darkness.  My  t'ing-ch'ai  went  a few  miles  round  to 
carry  the  missive.  The  letter  simply  stated  the  above 
facts,  and  wound  up  : “ According  to  Chinese  law,  the 
landlord  is  responsible  for  the  value  of  things  robbed 
from  guests  in  his  house.  In  any  case,  I was  under 
the  escort  of  two  of  your  police,  who  slept,  or  should 
have  slept,  in  the  inn.  I shall  be  in  Chungking  in 
three  days,  and  unless  I find  the  dressing-gown  or 
fifty-three  taels  there  on  my  arrival,  you  must  be 
prepared  to  take  the  further  consequences.” 

Discussion  was  lively  amongst  my  men  along  the 
road  as  to  whether  the  landlord  was  privy  to  the  theft 
or  not ; whether,  in  any  case,  he  was  a guilty  receiver  or 
not ; w'hether  the  ckou's  police  would  make  him  disgorge 
and  pay  if  he  had  the  coat,  or  pay  without  disgorging  if 
he  hadn’t  it  ; and  whether  the  chou  himself  would  not 
like  to  keep  such  a splendid  astrachan  for  his  own  use. 
To  me  this  w'as  a purely  academical  discussion,  for  I 
felt  sure  the  chou  w'ould  pay  in  money,  w’hether  he  got 
the  coat  or  not. 

I found  the  money  on  my  arrival  at  Chungking  ; 
but  Chang-erh  shook  his  head  and  said  : “ After  all, 
you  are  a few  taels  to  the  bad,  for  you  omitted  to 
consider  the  cost  of  bringing  a heavy  coat  up  the  rapids 
all  the  way  from  Shanghai.” 


CHAPTER  VIII 


VICEROYS  AND  GOVERNORS 
LI  HUNG-CHANG 

My  first  business  interview  with  this  celebrated 
statesman '’was  in  April,  1872,  when,  with  the 
consent  of  Sir  Thomas  (then  Mr.)  Wade,  I unofficially 
accompanied  the  late  Mr.  Ney  Elias  to  the  vice-regal 
yatnen  at  Tientsin,  in  order  to  propose  to  Li  Hung- 
chang  the  surveying  of  the  old  Yellow  River  bed 
with  a view  to  reconducting  it  to  the  sea  by  way 
of  the  Hwai  valley ; or  preferably,  as  an  alternative, 
to  deepening  the  scour  of  the  present  channel,  and 
altering  the  slope  of  the  “ free -sides,”  so  as  to  form 
natural  reservoirs. 

The  impression  left  upon  both  of  us  by  Li 
Hung-chang  was  not  so  favourable  as  his  even  then 
great  reputation  had  led  us  to  expect  it  would  be. 
He  seemed  quite  familiar  with  the  Yellow  River 
country  in  an  empirical  sense,  but  it  was  not  very 
easy  to  rivet  his  attention  upon  the  charts  offered 
for  his  inspection,  or  to  nail  him  down  to  any 
definite  set  of  ideas.  He  manife.stly  considered 


i64  viceroys  and  GOVERNORS 


Chinese  engineering  good  enough,  but  did  not  mind 
foreigners  trying  a hand  at  their  own  expense  and 
risk.  He  seemed  to  think  that  Mr.  Elias,  (who  was 
an  enthusiast  of  the  most  disinterested  kind,  and  bent 
solely  upon  making  a distinguished  name  for  himself 
in  the  world  by  doing  something  permanently  useful,) 
was  a mere  adventurer  or  money-grubber,  trying  to 
lead  China  into  a morass  of  unlimited  expenditure,  in 
order  to  make  a large  profit  for  himself.  He  was  much 
more  inclined  to  “ talk  politics  ” than  to  stick  to  the 
subject  of  the  day,  and  in  doing  so  he  often  dis- 
played a childish  impatience  and  petulance.  His 
manner  was  much  too  familiar. 

He  said,  amongst  other  things : “ You  English  are 
always  boasting  that  India  belongs  to  you  ; but  the 
French  have  settlements  here  and  here”  (pointing), 
“ and  the  Portuguese  there.  Why  don’t  you  turn 
them  out  ? ” 

I replied  : “ The  Manchu  dynasty  is  rightly  con- 
sidered to  be  in  possession  of  the  Eighteen  Provinces  ; 
but  the  British  have  a settlement  in  Hongkong.  Why 
don’t  you  turn  us  out  ? ” 

This  reply  was  duly  reported  officially  to  the  British 
Minister,  who,  whilst  approving  in  general  terms  of 
the  interview  officially,  wrote  to  me  privately  somewhat 
as  follows ; “ We  should  be  careful  as  young  men, 
especially  with  such  a man  as  Li,  not  to  say  anything 
likely  to  appear  in  the  light  of  flippancy  to  high 
Chinese  officers.”  No  doubt  the  snub  was  deserved. 


FICKLE  AS  A CHANGEFUL  DREAM”  165 


Some  months  previously  to  this  Sir  Thomas  Wade 
had  sent  me  unofficially,  with  Mr.  Thomson,  the  corres- 
pondent of  The  Illustrated  London  News,  in  order,  if 
possible,  to  take  Li’s  photograph,  one  (the  smaller)  of 
which  was  reproduced  by  The  Strand  Magazine  when 
he  visited  England  in  1896.  On  this  occasion  also  the 
Viceroy  displayed  indelicate  manners,  which  contrasted 
unfavourably  even  with  those  of  some  of  the  high 
Peking  officials,  and  notably  with  those  of  all  viceroys 
and  governors  subsequently  met  in  the  provinces  : 
his  own  half-brother,  Li  Han-chang,  though  reported 
to  be  a heavy  “ squeeze,”  was  most  courteous  in  his 
deportment.  Sir  Thomas  Wade  later  on  sent  as  a 
present  to  Li  Hung-chang  a handsome  album  con- 
taining all  the  important  photographs  taken  by  Mr. 
Thomson  up  to  date.  Li  now  rapidly  turned  the  leaves 
pettishly  over,  and  remarked  : “ The  book  is  not  full ; 
how  is  it  I do  not  get  more  ? Are  you  cheating  me  ? ” 

When  I was  there  with  Mr.  Thomson  he  suddenly 
asked  us  “ what  rewards  we  expected  ? ” — a question 
which  at  once  made  me  flare  up.  I said  : “ I would 
not  accept  any  reward  for  myself,  nor  would  the 
Minister  allow  me  to  think  of  it.  He  sent  Mr. 
Thomson  to  you  to  exhibit  a novel  art,  hoping 
that,  having  seen  what  foreign  photographs  were 
like,  you  would  consent  to  have  yours  taken,  and 
present  him  with  one ; and  he  sent  me  to  explain 
matters.” 

Li  then  began  to  consult  me  as  to  what  he  should 


i66  VICEROYS  AND  GOVERNORS 

give  Mr.  Thomson,  and  made  me  ask  him  what  he 
wanted.  Mr.  Thomson  had  not  the  same  reasons 
that  I had  for  “ purity,”  but  he  also  declined  to 
accept  money ; and  finally  it  was  arranged  that  the 
two  pieces  of  silk  offered  should  be  given  to  him 
alone.  I felt  rather  disgusted  with  and  ashamed  of  the 
whole  business,  in  which  Li  appeared  to  me  to  be  sordid 
and  mesquin.  On  that  occasion,  I remember,  he  stated 
his  age  at  exactly  the  same  figure  as  Sir  Thomas 
Wade’s ; that,  I think,  would  make  him  eighty-one 
now.  As  a matter  of  fact,  he  was  born  in  1823, 
which,  according  to  Chinese  computation,  would  mean 
only  seventy-nine. 


THE  GOVERNOR  HU  YING-HUNG 

Within  the  past  thirty  years  I cannot  remember  more 
than  a single  instance  of  a Cantonese  being  a viceroy, 
and  that  was  the  case  of  a certain  Ho  King,  for  many 
years  at  Foochow,  (native  of  a trading  place  in  the  delta 
below  Canton,  called  Siao-lan,)  nor  can  I recollect  more 
than  one  Cantonese  governor  besides  the  one  now  under 
notice.  I suppose  the  explanation  is  the  same  as  in 
the  case  of  Sz  Ch'wan  : the  energy  and  fulness  of  the 
provincial  life  provide  better  outlets  than  the  “ mandarin 
trade.”  Governor  Hu  (of  Cheh  Kiang  and  Kiang  Su) 
was  only  a taotai  when  I knew  him  ; that  is,  the  lowest 
in  grade  of  what  may  be  called  the  political  or 
diplomatic  class,  ranking  by  treaty  with  consuls  and 


"THE  CUPS  THAT  CHEER”  167 

commissioners  of  customs,  who,  in  China,  are  both  of 
them  much  more  considerable  personages  than  their 
colleagues  of  Europe  or  India.  He  was  customs 
taotai  of  Kewkiang,  and  inclined  to  be  remarkably 
friendly  with  strangers. 

Chinese  mandarins  have  to  be  very  chary  how 
they  hobnob  with  their  own  countrymen  of  the 
non-official  classes  ; there  is  no  objection  to  their  giving 
“ jambarees,”  or  “ drunks,”  in  their  own  yamens,  where 
no  one  outside  is  any  the  wiser ; but  it  comes  very 
near  being  an  official  offence  to  accept  invitations 
from  rich  money-lenders  or  merchants.  However,  old 
Hii  was  a most  genial  character,  and  the  Cantonese 
traders  of  Kewkiang,  who  were  rather  proud  of  him, 
once  induced  him  to  take  the  chair  at  a “ foreign  ” 
dinner  given  by  themselves,  to  which  I and  the  Com- 
missioner of  Customs,  Mr.  Kopsch,  were  invited  ; when 
foreigners  take  part  in  such  entertainments,  it  can 
always  be  pleaded  that  “ it  was  for  purposes  of  inter- 
national diplomacy,”  or  “in  order  to  conciliate  the 
barbarian,”  and  “ compel  him  to  conform  to  our 
principles.”  Sobriety  is  so  universal  in  China  that  it 
is  not  only  not  considered  a vice  to  get  drunk  at  a 
dinner,  but  it  is  positively  held  to  be  a compliment 
to  the  host  to  be,  or  at  least  pretend  to  be,  a little 
tipsy.  This,  to  our  ideas,  somewhat  uncleanly  way  of 
looking  at  things  is  on  a par  with  “ complimentary 
eructation.”  Well-bred  Chinamen  are  certainly  not  so 
coarse  as  actually  to  revel  in  this  luxury,  but  it  is  a 


i68  VICEROYS  AND  GOVERNORS 

graceful  way  of  acknowledging  exuberant  hospitality  to 
indulge  in  it  a little.  These  little  social  eccentricities 
must  not  be  judged  too  severely  by  countries  where 
beastly  intoxication  in  the  public  streets  is  a daily 
spectacle. 

Some  time  after  this  my  successor  gave  a grand 
complimentary  dinner,  to  which  good  old  Hii  was 
invited  : on  this  occasion  he  got  downright  drunk,  and 
fell  head  foremost  into  one  of  those  huge-necked 
American  objects — almost  unknown  in  Europe — called 
cuspidores — i.e.  tall  spittoons  with  a broad  mouth,  some- 
thing like  a tea-taster’s  or  dentist’s  furniture.  He  had 
to  be  bodily  carried  to  his  sedan-chair  by  his  attendants, 
quite  unconscious.  He  was  an  easy-going  man,  of 
no  great  governing  capacity,  and  never  “ made  his 
mark  ” ; but  the  portrait  which  he  gave  me  affords  an 
excellent  idea  of  a rather  refined  mandarin  in  full 
visiting  costume.  His  is  positively  the  only  instance 
I ever  came  across,  during  my  quarter  of  a century  ot 
residence  among  them,  of  a Chinaman  being  dead  drunk. 

At  Wenchow,  where  all  the  officials  were  remarkably 
friendly,  mixed  dinners  were  quite  an  ordinary  occur- 
rence. The  usual  foreign  guests  were  myself  and  the 
commissioner  (who  has  now  resumed  in  Turkey  his 
proper  title,  Comte  de  Limoges).  To  these  reunions 
the  consular  and  customs  writers  were  invited,  and 
“ tipsiness  ” was  supposed  to  come  on  at  the  hwa- 
k'iian  stage, — corresponding  to  our  “ pass  round  the 
port.”  This  word  means  “ fist-cracking  ” or  “ fist- 


“LIKE  NIOBE,  ALL  TEARS”  169 

shouting,”  and  is  simply  the  Italian  mora  (known  also 
in  ancient  Egypt),  adapted  during  its  antediluvian 
growth  to  Chinese  ways. 

THE  VICEROY  JWEILIN 

Amongst  the  reactionary  officials  who  incurred  the 
displeasure  of  the  Emperor,  and  after  that  unhappy 
monarch’s  deposition  attached  himself  to  the  “ Boxer  ” 
element,  was  Hwaitapu,  formerly  President  of  the 
Board  of  Rites,  by  decree  of  October  4,  1900,  appointed 
successor  to  Prince  Twan.  He  followed  the  Empress  to 
Si-an  Fu,  and  there  once  more  for  a short  time  held  his 
old  title ; but  he  seems  to  have  died  or  committed 
suicide  early  in  the  year  1901.  Few  persons  in  China 
are  aware  that  he  was  the  eldest  son  of  Jweilin,  for 
the  Manchu  and  Mongol  custom  of  disguising  personal 
names  under  fanciful  Chinese  forms  leaves  no  family 
clue  to  the  outsider.  When  his  father  died  in  1874, 
it  was  he  who,  as  eldest  son,  sent  out  invitation  cards 
(“  weeping  blood  ”)  to  personal  friends,  of  whom  the 
late  Sir  Brooke  Robertson  was  one.  That  excellent 
old  consul  had  long  been  on  terms  of  touching  con- 
fidence with  Jweilin,  who  was  a fine,  courteous  old 
gentleman  of  the  best  bannerman  type ; and  Hwaitapu 
received  him  and  his  interpreter  (now  a retired  consul, 
Mr.  C.  Gardner,  C.M.G.)  at  the  coffin  head.  It  was  at 
first  a question  whether  they  should  “ set  up  a wail  ” 
in  Chinese  style ; but  a compromise  was  effected,  and 
they  simply  bowed  silently  to  the  coffin. 


170 


VICEROYS  AND  GOVERNORS 


Jweilin’s  career  is  interesting  on  account  of  his 
supposed  complicity  in  Captain  Brabazon’s  murder : 
in  the  French  Yellow  Book  Baron  Gros  distinctly 
charges  him,  on  the  authority  of  another  high  Chinese 
official,  with  that  cowardly  crime.  It  seems  not  un- 
likely that  the  charge  is  true,  for  on  the  seventh  day 
of  the  seventh  moon  (middle  of  August,  i860)  he  was 
ordered  with  five  thousand  troops  “ again  to  take  up  ” 
a position  at  T'ungchow,  and  he  shared  in  the  defeat 
of  Palik'iao  (=  Three-mile  Bridge),  which  place  gave 
the  Comte  de  Palikao  his  title.  Such  a murder  would 
be  quite  within  the  Chinese  ideas  of  war,  which 
are  not  chivalrous. 

Jweilin’s  official  career  began  in  1848,  after  which 
year  he  held  various  positions  in  the  Peking  Boards. 
In  1858  he  detained  sixty  tons  of  foreign  copper 
coming  from  Ningpo  for  the  Mint,  in  order  to  make 
cannon  for  the  troops  under  his  command  around 
T'ungchow,  and  he  also  busied  himself  with  re- 
organising the  “navy”  and  the  remount  service.  For 
a short  time  he  seems  to  have  held  the  acting  post 
of  Chih  Li  Viceroy;  but  between  1858  and  i860  he 
was  employed  on  other  miscellaneous  work,  such  as 
repairing  river  courses,  sacrificing  to  Confucius,  etc. 
His  failures,  first  against  the  Allies,  and  later  against 
the  Shan  Tung  rebels,  led  to  his  degradation ; but 
on  the  death  of  the  Emperor  Hien  Feng  he  became 
Military  Governor  of  Jehol ; two  years  afterwards 
Tartar  General,  and  at  last  Viceroy  at  Canton,  where 


ALL  THE  WORLD’S  A STAGE” 


171 


he  died  on  September  20,  1874,  as  above  related. 
His  reputation  amongst  the  Cantonese  for  purity 
was  not  very  high ; but  his  rule  was  competent, 
and  he  kept  his  provinces  tranquil.  He  never  would 
consent  to  introduce  transit-passes,  and  in  this  policy 
he  was  firmly  supported  by  his  steadfast  friend  Sir 
Brooke  Robertson,  with  whom  his  relations  were  always 
of  the  most  sympathetic  and  mutually  respecting 
kind.  He  belonged,  like  the  veteran  Wensiang,  to  the 
courteous  old  school,  and  we  shall  probably  never  see 
his  like  again  in  China. 


THE  VICEROY  YINGHAH 
When  an  officer  comes  from  audience  with  the 
Emperor,  no  matter  what  his  rank,  all  the  high 
officials  have  to  go  in  state  to  meet  him  ; and  until 
this  ceremony  is  over  he  is,  like  our  “ ambassadors,” 
part  of  his  “ august  master.”  At  Canton,  where 
every  one  must  arrive  by  boat  or  steamer,  the 
receiving-place  is  the  tsip-kim-f eng  {chie-kwan-t’ mg') — 
a dowdy  old  river  wharf,  something  in  the  old 
Blackfriars  or  Adelphi  style.  The  new  arrival  steps 
out  of  his  boat  in  full  dress,  with  that  haughty 
swagger  which  comes  so  natural  to  all  Chinese 
officials,  and  sees  the  Tartar  General,  Viceroy, 
Governor,  Hoppo,  Treasurer,  Judge,  etc.,  etc.,  all  on 
their  knees  before  him,  “ craving  to  know  the  health.” 
The  ambassador  (for  such  he  is,  and  is  called,  by 


172 


VICEROYS  AND  GOVERNORS 


courtesy,  for  the  moment)  says:  ^‘Te-cJii:  chen-an." 
The  first  pair  of  syllables  is  supposed  to  be  imitation 
Manchu  for  “ Arise  ! ” The  second  means  in  Chinese 
“Nos  valemus.”  After  a cup  of  tea  in  the  mat-shed, 
and  pipes  all  round,  the  officials  “ resume  their  rank.” 
Yinghan  was  a fine,  jolly  Manchu,  whose  face  I 
seem  to  remember,  though  I never  spoke  to  him.  He 
had  acquitted  himself  passably  (which  in  China  for 
a Manchu  means  “ well  ”)  as  Governor  of  Ho  Nan  ; and, 
on  Jweilin’s  death,  was  appointed  Viceroy  at  Canton. 
Sir  Thomas  Wade,  always  anxious  for  “ progress,”  tried 
to  get  the  Chinese  Foreign  Office  to  make  him  call  on 
the  Governor  of  Hongkong ; but  the  wary  old  rogues 
replied  : “ We  have  no  information  as  to  what  route 
His  Excellency  Ying  will  take  on  his  way  to  Canton.” 
(I  am  not  supposed  to  know  what  went  on,  during 
my  absence,  in  Peking ; but  I did,  and  do.)  Yinghan, 
of  course,  ignored  the  English  Governor,  and  came 
down  with  a great  flourish  of  trumpets  to  Canton. 
His  chief  luggage  was  about  fifty  hogsheads  of  good 
samshu,  for  he  evidently  looked  forward  to  many  a 
glorious  “ booze  ” in  this  Manzi  land.  He  even  had 
(as  my  old  French  schoolmaster  used  to  say)  “ the 
chick  ” to  issue  a proclamation,  jointly  with  the  Tartar 
General,  saying  how  the  Emperor  had  sent  him  to 
“overawe  this  inan-tsz  land.” 

The  day  after  his  arrival  he  learnt,  to  his  horror, 
that  Sir  Brooke  Robertson  lived  within  a stone’s 
throw  of  him,  in  the  “ first-floor  back  ” of  the 


THE  WINTER  OF  OUR  DISCONTENT”  173 


Tartar  General’s  jamen ; and  that  “ olo  custom”  at 
Canton  put  viceroys  on  equality  of  visiting  terms 
with  consuls : this  of  course  dated  from  the  time 
when  the  Viceroy  Yeh  was  “collared”  by  the  pigtail 
in  his  own  yamen,  and  shipped  off  to  Calcutta.  He 
therefore  had  a “ try  on  ” in  good  old  Chinese  style. 
He  sent  a verbal  message  to  say  “ he  had  heard 
excellent  opinions  of  Sir  Brooke,  but  he  could  not 
open  the  centre  door  when  the  consul  called,  and 
thought  it  best  to  say  so  in  advance.”  Sir  Brooke 
replied,  also  verbally : “ Then  tell  him  I won’t  visit 
him  at  all.  No  side  doors  for  me.”  The  matter 
was  soon  arranged,  and  all  went  on  pleasantly.  They 
even  got  to  like  each  other. 

Now  it  so  happened  that,  after  Jweilin’s  death, 
the  celebrated  waising  lottery  had  been  abolished, 
even  at  the  risk  of  allowing  the  Portuguese  at 
Macao,  who  had  no  scruples  about  “ruining  Chinese 
morality,”  to  run  it  themselves,  (as  they  did,  to  my 
“ boy’s  ” delight,)  and  to  make  the  money.  This  was 
a real  instance  of  China  trying  to  reform  her  wicked 
ways.  But  when  Yinghan  got  fairly  settled  down  to  his 
liquor,  and  found  the  gambling  bribes  he  had  always 
expected  to  clutch  at  Canton  quite  newly  abolished,  he 
waxed  wroth  within  him,  and  presumed  on  his  Manchu 
status  to  reopen  the  lottery  on  his  own  responsibility. 
Now  occurred  one  of  those  rare  but  dramatic  events 
which  show  that  even  in  China  two  good  men  may 
save  Sodom  and  Gomorrah  from  destruction.  The 


174 


VICEROYS  AND  GOVERNORS 


Tartar  General  Ch'angshan  and  the  Chinese  Governor 
Chang  Chao-tung  (not  to  be  confused  with  the  more 
illustrious  Chang  Chi-tung)  joined  in  “impeaching” 
Yinghan,  who  was  at  once  removed,  and  spent  the  rest 
of  his  career  in  obscure  posts  on  the  Russian  frontier. 
This  was  a good  inauguration  for  Kwang-su’s  reign. 

I was  away  in  England  when  this  tragedy  occurred  ; 
but  my  ears  were  in  Canton  all  the  same.  Sir  Brooke, 
in  reporting  the  matter  to  his  superiors,  related 
feelingly  how  nobly  Yinghan  took  his  degradation. 
In  such  cases  Chinese  “ form  ” is  admirable,  so 
different  from  our  own  ungracious  way,  where  one 
Minister  or  Charge  often  steals  away  in  advance,  as 
though  ashamed  to  face  his  successor.  A disgraced 
or  unsuccessful  official  in  China  always  keeps  his 
“ face  ” ; every  one  goes  to  see  him  off,  including  his 
enemies.  And  thus  did  poor  Yinghan  disappear 
from  the  “ high-class  ” stage,  amid  the  blare  of  trumpets 
and  the  tears  of  friends. 


THE  VICEROY  LIU  K‘UN-YIH 

This  frank  and  loyal-minded  official  first  made  his 
mark  during  the  Taiping  rebellion,  when  he  served 
with  distinction  in  Hu  Nan  (his  native  province) 
and  Kwang  Si.  In  1865  he  was  rewarded  with  the 
high  civil  post  of  Governor  for  Kiang  Si ; and  in  this 
capacity  I had  one  or  two  tussles  with  him  on  the 
likm  question  at  Kewkiang  in  1872.  It  was  not  until 


HIS  EXCELLENCY  THE  VICEROY  LIU  k'uN-YIH. 


[7b  face  p.  174. 


“THIS  WAS  A MAN”  i75 

1878  that  I made  his  personal  acquaintance  in  his 
new  post  of  Viceroy  at  Canton. 

Being  a man  of  unpretentious  demeanour,  he  was 
always  pleased  to  pay  visits  to  the  consuls  in  person, 
and  he  had  a particular  veneration  for  my  esteemed 
colleague  and  senior  the  late  Consul  Hance,  the 
distinguished  botanist.  Liu  K'un-yih  himself  had 
some  shrewd  notions  on  the  subject  of  flowers  ; and 
in  one  of  his  letters  he  described  to  us  how  in  his 
leisure  moments  at  home  in  Hu  Nan  he  had  culti- 
vated this  hobby.  His  dialect  was  excruciatingly 
difficult  to  comprehend,  and  Dr.  Hance  did  not 
understand  a word  of  Chinese.  Under  these  circum- 
stances it  fell  more  than  usually  often  to  my  lot 
to  have  to  interpret  orally  between  these  two  high- 
minded  men  ; and  I was  always  pleased  to  improve 
the  opportunity,  for  the  dialect  spoken  by  the  Viceroy 
had  never  then  been  closely  studied  by  any  European. 

What  particularly  impressed  me  about  Liu  K'un-yih 
was  his  absolute  frankness  and  loyalty.  He  never 
would  connive  at,  or  at  least  begin,  any  trickery  or 
intrigue  ; and  on  one  occasion,  when  a foreign  official 
in  another  jurisdiction  unhandsomely  attempted  to 
get  behind  Dr.  Hance’s  back,  contrary  to  official 
rule,  he  not  only  dissuaded  the  intriguer,  but  wrote 
to  Dr.  Hance  to  explain  why  he  had  done  so.  On 
another  occasion  he  acted  for  a few  months  for  the 
Hoppo,  or  Manchu  customs  official,  who  had  to  retire 
during  the  regulation  period  in  order  to  mourn  for  a 


1 76  VICEROYS  AND  GOVERNORS 


parent.  The  Viceroy’s  share  of  the  profits  amounted 
to  about  thirty  thousand  pounds,  which  sum  he 
declined  to  receive,  but  offered  to  charitable  objects  : 
for  this  he  was  rather  snubbed  than  thanked  by  the 
Peking  Government. 

During  his  first  Nanking  viceroyalty  in  i88i  he 
fell  into  disgrace  on  account  of  his  opium-smoking 
proclivities,  contracted  during  the  exposure  of  the 
wars ; but  he  never  made  any  secret  of  the  vice,  which 
he  himself  keenly  regretted : there  is  no  record  of 
his  ever  having  told  a lie  or  acted  basely  for  his  own 
private  purposes  or  interest. 

In  1891  it  was  found  that  his  virtues  were  more 
important  than  his  vices  were  dangerous  ; and  so,  on 
the  death  of  the  late  Marquess  Tseng’s  uncle,  the  Earl 
Tseng  Kwoh-ts'uan,  he  was  once  more  appointed  to 
Nanking,  where,  with  the  exception  of  a short  Fabian 
campaign  during  the  Japanese  war  of  1894-5,  he  has 
been  ever  since.  He  is  now  seventy  years  of  age, 
and  no  word  has  ever  been  breathed  against  his  in- 
corruptibility by  even  his  bitterest  enemies,  of  whom 
he  has  many. 

Until  attention  was  directed  to  this  excellent  mandarin 
during  the  “ Boxer  ” revolt,  none  of  the  foreign  officials 
in  China  knew  much  of  him,  probably  on  account  of  his 
“ Doric  ” accent  and  humble  ways  ; but  he  is  a man 
of  whom  any  Western  nation  might  be  proud,  and 
1 would  as  soon  trust  his  honour  as  that  of  any 
Minister  trained  in  European  courts. 


GENTLY  SCAN  YOUR  FELLOW  MAN”  177 


YUAN  SHI-K*AI 

I NEVER  met  any  other  Chinaman  at  all  resembling 
this  man.  He  is  bright,  fearless,  and  reasonable,  but  at 
the  same  time  a trifle  rash,  and  very  unscrupulous  ; not 
for  the  interest  of  his  own  pocket,  but  for  that  of  his 
master  or  patron.  All  the  stories  about  his  treachery  to 
the  Emperor  must  be  taken  cum  gram,  for  the  Emperor 
was,  according  to  Chinese  ethics,  himself  treacherous 
to  his  legal  mother,  and  therefore  Yiian  was  quite  right, 
from  the  “ divine  ” point  of  view,  to  betray  the  Emperor 
to  the  Dowager  (if  he  really  did  so).  He  had  just 
atoned  for  a gross  act  of  treachery  when  I first  made 
his  acquaintance  in  1885  : he  had  arranged  (1882)  with 
Admiral  Ting  to  kidnap  the  King  of  Corea’s  father, 
when  that  prince  was  the  gallant  mariner’s  own  guest. 

When  the  “ Dying  ’Coon  ” (Tai-won  Kun)  was  brought 
back  to  Corea,  I had  an  audience  of  “his  royal  high- 
ness ” at  Chemulpho  in  the  presence  of  Y iian,  who  spoke 
quite  frankly  of  his  own  future  policy  ; and  the  Tai-won 
Kun,  too,  was  perfectly  unconstrained  in  his  manner. 
At  that  time  China  was  “on  top,”  and  Japan  occupied 
rather  a back  seat  in  Corean  affairs.  The  Russians  were 
suspicious  of  Yiian,  and  Yiian  of  the  Russians;  but  a 
little  frankness  all  round  was  all  that  was  necessary 
to  dispel  these  germs  of  ill-feeling.  “ Diplomacy  ” 
often  does  as  much  harm  as  good  in  these  mixed- 
interest  affairs,  and  it  is  much  better  for  all  to  play 
cards  down  as  far  as  possible,  so  as  to  encourage 


12 


178  VICEROYS  AND  GOVERNORS 


persons  who  like  keeping  a card  or  two  up  the  sleeve  to 
appreciate  the  superior  advantages  of  an  honest  game. 
As  barbers  say  ; “You  may  strop  an  edge  off  as  well  as 
one  on.”  Too  much  finesse  defeats  itself.  Of  course 
it  is  not  necessary  to  wear  the  heart  on  the  sleeve 
for  daws  to  peck  at,  but  it  is  possible  to  play  a shrewd 
rubber  at  all  times  without  revoking  or  cheating.  I 
should  like  to  have  seen  General  Gordon’s  face  and 
heard  his  remarks  if  he  had  but  seen  and  heard  what 
the  Sir  Pompey  Bedells  of  those  days  were  bungling 
at  in  their  ignorance  of  genuine  facts : he  did  once 
give  me  his  views  on  diplomatists;  at  Canton  in  1880. 

On  another  occasion  I saw  Yiian  at  one  of  his 
own  receptions.  He  was  then  preening  himself  as  a 
“suzerain,”  very  much  like  our  Indian  Viceroy  does 
when  holding  durbar  ; but  of  course  on  a very  small 
scale.  The  Corean  ministers  and  generals  were  all 
sitting  deferentially  round,  and  Yiian  (whose  manners 
were  of  the  plebeian  and  free-and-easy  description  of 
his  patron  Li  Hung-chang)  pointed  like  a child  with 
his  finger  straight  into  the  faces  of  each  one  as  he 
explained  to  me  who  they  were. 

It  is  necessary  to  read  Chinese  history  to  gain  an 
insight  into  Ylian’s  Machiavellian  character.  He  is  the 
sort  of  man  who  would  run  his  enemy  into  the  boiling 
pot  without  compunction,  and  at  the  same  time  allow 
himself  to  be  boiled  (the  cauldron  was  always  kept  hot 
and  handy  in  the  good  old  times)  rather  than  give 
away  a friend.  With  all  that,  he  is  very  progressive. 


THE  LATE  TA I-W OX-KL’N,  FATHER  OF  THE  KING  OF  COREA. 

[Fo  face  p.  178. 


LOVE  MERCY  AND  DELIGHT  TO  SAVE”  179 


and  not  at  all  anti-missionary  ; he  is  also  just ; does 
not,  or  did  not  then  smoke  opium ; and  is  not  in  the 
least  jealous  of  talent  in  other  Chinese. 

On  still  another  occasion  I had  some  ground  to 
believe  he  was  playing  or  had  joined  in  playing  an 
unworthy  trick  upon  a harmless  individual,  a col- 
league of  his.  I took  him  by  surprise,  and  asked 
him  : “ Do  you  remember  what  you  said  to  Li  Hung- 
chang  on  a certain  date  ? ” 

He  said  : “ Yes,  I do.” 

“ Are  you  prepared  to  write  down  now  with  your 
own  hand  what  you  did  say,  and  deny  what  you 
admit  you  didn’t  say  ? ” 

He  said : “ Certainly.”  And  he  did  so  there  and 
then,  before  a Chinese  witness. 

Some  weeks  later  I wrote  to  him : “ I tell  you 

frankly  why  I want  it  [which  I did]  ; I want,  if 
you  can  see  your  way,  a full  account  of  the  exact 
circumstances  of  that  matter,”  etc. 

He  replied  by  letter : “ It  seems  to  me  now  that  if  I 
gave  you  full  particulars  in  writing,  I might  be  doing  in- 
jury to  a man  who  was  once  my  friend.  I won’t  do  it.” 

And  there  the  matter  dropped  ; for  it  appeared  to  me 
also  that  his  attitude  was,  after  all,  the  only  generous 
one,  especially  as  the  real  difficulty  at  issue  could 
easily  be  settled  in  another  way,  by  a little  self-sacrifice 
on  my  part.  I have  always  thought  the  better  of 
Yuan  for  his  refusal.  I wish  I could  say  the  same  of 
all  the  other  diplomats  concerned. 


CHAPTER  IX 

RELIGION  AND  MISSIONARIES 
A CHINESE  CONVERT 

T Tientsin  in  1871-2  I sought  for  and  obtained  the 


services  of  an  orator — that  is,  a David  who  was 
guaranteed  to  go  on  “ yarning  ” indefinitely,  in  order 
that  Saul  might  study  graceful  forms  of  speech,  and 
the  music  of  “ tones.”  This  was  a certain  Mr.  Han, 
introduced  as  a Protestant  convert.  As  a speaker  he 
was  perfect.  He  always  spoke  respectfully  of  Mr. 
Jonathan  Lees,  the  missionary  who  appears  to  have 
originally  taken  him  up ; but  he  lost  no  time  in 
asking  me  how  it  was  that  some  Protestants  were 
not  allowed  to  preach  in  Church  of  England  places, 
and  that  no  Protestants  at  all  believed  the  teaching 
of  the  Roman  Catholics.  Warming  up  to  his  subject 
day  by  day,  he  argued  that,  as  it  was  permissible 
amongst  ourselves  for  Protestants  to  disbelieve 
Catholic  doctrine,  and  vice  versa ; and  for  Jews  (of 
whom  there  were  many  at  Tientsin)  to  disbelieve 
both  ; it  stood  to  reason,  on  our  own  European  basis 


180 


“HAL!  NO  MORE  OF  THAT!" 


i8i 


of  right,  that  Chinamen  were  also  at  liberty  to  choose 
one ; and  therefore  if  necessary  to  reject  all  three. 
The  whole  subject,  he  said,  seemed  to  him  miao-miao 
wu-p'ing  (pbscurum  per  obscurius).  And,  if  it  were  true 
that  the  Gospel  was  really  open  to  all  the  world  on 
equal  terms,  why  should  the  Chinese,  having  heard  the 
evidence  on  which  Europeans  profess  to  believe,  not 
be  themselves  qualified  to  decide  upon  the  truth  of  it  ? 
There  was  nothing  substantial  to  get  hold  of ; it  was 
purely  a matter  of  imagination  and  opinion : hence 
Chinamen  were  justified  in  imagining  and  opining  too. 
The  Pope,  together  with  other  Western  leaders  of 
Churches,  was  born  ignorant,  like  every  other  man  ; he 
and  they  received  their  instruction  from  fallible  men  : at 
what  stage  of  their  existence,  then,  did  they  first  know 
more  than  the  persons  who  had  taught  them  ? Why 
should  one  country  be  more  competent  for  infallibility 
than  the  other?  Why  should  Italy  monopolise  the 
hierarchy,  even  amongst  the  few  Catholic  countries ; 
and  why  should  Europe  monopolise  all  forms  of 
Christian  teaching  against  the  judgment  of  Asia  ? 
Besides,  Chinese  ideas  of  dignity  would  represent  the 
conventional  Deity,  who  must  be  clothed  in  some  form, 
attired  after  the  fashion  of  native  emperors  or  sages ; 
and  if  this  appear  ridiculous  to  Europeans,  how  can 
Europeans  expect  the  Chinese,  who  ridicule  their 
Western  appearance,  to  respect  the  Western  ideal 
Deity,  as  clothed  in  their  imaginations ; more  especially 
as  neither  European  nor  Chinese  garments  ever  figure 


i82 


RELIGION  AND  MISSIONARIES 


in  the  representations,  which  exhibit  Arab  attire, 
whilst  the  figure  and  features  take  Jewish  form  ? 
How  can  it  possibly  be  a crime,  punishable  with 
torture  for  ever,  not  to  believe  what  one  can- 
not possibly  understand  ? And  how  does  it  improve 
matters  to  confess,  from  obliging  motives,  to  believing 
what  the  mind  cannot  grasp, — to  admitting  what  the 
would-be  teachers  cannot  explain  by  any  known  process 
of  evidence ; and  what  they  must  themselves  have  been 
ignorant  of  and  unable  to  understand  until  some  one 
convinced  them  ? And  the  reward  for  believing : is 
there  anything  noble  in  aiming  at  exclusive  safety  and 
happiness  ? Is  it  not  more  noble  to  be  indifferent  to 
one’s  own  future  triumph  over  other  men  ? 

Mr.  Han  cordially  approved  of  and  accepted  the 
teachings  of  Jesus  Christ;  but  he  failed  to  see  on  what 
grounds  other  persons,  not  professing  to  be  holy  men 
or  prophets  themselves,  should  add  embellishments  of 
their  own  invention  to  Christ’s  simple  words,  and 
construct  thereon  an  edifice  of  mystery  which  was 
contrary  to  the  experience  of  men’s  senses. — I was 
unable  to  answer  these  questions  properly  ; but  until 
they  are  answered  by  some  one  to  Chinese  satisfaction, 
China  will  never  be  Christian  (I  think). 

I afterwards  knew  Han  in  Corea. — It  will  be  found 
that  Dr.  Johnson,  in  occasional  small  doses,  made 
much  the  same  observations  to  Boswell,  though,  as 
we  all  know,  that  learned  man  was  “ orthodox.” 


YET  THERE  IS  METHOD  IN  IT 


183 


MUSSULMANS  IN  CHINA 

I HAVE  not  had  any  experience  of  the  Dungans, 
or  mixed  Mussulman  Chinese  of  Kan  Suh,  who  are 
historically  known  to  have  a dash  of  Arab  blood  in 
their  veins  ; but  none  of  the  Chinese  Mussulmans  I 
have  met  appeared  to  be  in  the  least  infected  with 
the  militant  spirit  of  early  Islam.  Around  Peking 
and  the  region  of  the  Great  Wall,  many,  if  not  most, 
of  the  innkeepers  are  Mussulmans  ; which  is  singular, 
seeing  that  every  Chinaman  who  enters  the  inn  must 
eat  pork.  (I  omitted  to  find  out  how  this  difficulty 
was  got  over : — I think  the  visitors  have  to  cook 
their  own  food.)  I noticed  a marked  undercurrent 
of  sympathy  with  our  travelling  parties,  as  though 
the  Mussulman  felt  that  he  and  the  Christian  stood 
on  common  ground  of  some  undefined  kind.  I had 
a long  conversation  on  religion  with  the  jovial  land- 
lord at  Ch'atao,  just  outside  the  Wall.  So  far  as  I 
remember,  he  told  me  that  circumcision  was  practised  ; 
also  the  shaving  by  men,  and  the  general  denudation  of 
superfluous  hair  by  both  sexes  ; that  abstinence  from 
pork  was  enjoined  ; and  that  no  formal  intermarriage 
with  pagan  women  was  permitted.  There  is  a sort  of 
kosher  effect  about  everything  Mussulman  ; they  are 
not  exactly  clean,  but  they  seem  to  be  more  cleanly- 
minded  and  scrupulous  than  ordinary  Chinese ; and  the 
mere  fact  of  their  accepting  some  sort  of  discipline 
appears  to  add  to  their  self-respect. 


i84  religion  and  MISSIONARIES 


Old  Kin  Cho-an  (intended  to  represent  Johan[nes]) 
of  Chungking  was  a very  different  kind  of  man  from 
the  northerners.  I cannot  say  what  his  attitude 
towards  Christians  would  have  been  if  it  had  not 
been  for  his  bitter  but  smothered  hatred  of  Lo  Pao-chi, 
the  chief  Christian,  a feeling  which  appears  to  have 
developed  out  of  a former  trade  rivalry.  The  old  man 
was  well  groomed,  and  very  gentlemanly  in  appearance. 
He  brought  the  akhAnd,  a man  named  Hia,  to  see  me 
shortly  after  my  arrival,  and  frequently  came  to  sit  with 
me  himself,  for  whole  hours  at  a time.  Chungking  is, 
or  then  was,  a dangerous  place  to  “ talk  ” in.  His  two 
themes  were,  first,  the  villainies,  not  of  the  Catholics  or 
the  Frenchmen,  nor  even  of  the  native  converts,  but 
of  Lo  Pao-chX ; and,  second,  the  possibility  of  England 
taking  the  Mussulmans  of  Yun  Nan  and  Kwei  Chou 
under  her  protection.  He  insisted  on  it  that  sooner 
or  later  England  must  “ take  ” those  provinces  ; and 
politically  he  disliked  France. 

Apart  from  the  fact  that  Lo  Pao-chi  was  my 
friend  too,  I did  not  care  to  express  any  opinion, 
or  to  encourage  confidences  in  the  personal  matter, 
except  on  the  basis  of  both  men  “ having  it  all  out,” 
face  to  face,  in  my  presence.  And  as  to  the  “ alliance,” 
that  was  exceedingly  dangerous  ground  to  tread  upon, 
apart  from  the  fact  that  I well  knew  we  had  already 
rejected  the  official  advances  of  the  Panthays.  I 
half  suspected  he  was  employed  to  “ fish,” — whether  by 
the  Chinese  authorities  or  by  the  akJiAnds  I could  not 


“TO  DUMB  FORGETFULNESS  A PREY”  185 

guess, — and  any  false  step  I might  have  made  would 
have  cost  me  dear.  However,  John  Kin  never 
succeeded  in  extracting  from  me,  nor  did  I possess, 
any  clue.  He  never  evinced  any  hostility  towards, 
or  any  friendship  for  either  Catholics  or  Protestants ; 
but  he  seemed  to  have  some  sympathy  with  me.  On 
the  whole,  I could  not  fathom  him  to  my  satisfaction. 
I remember  one  remark  of  his  as  he  glanced  through 
my  albums.  He  first  looked  at  Bismarck  and  Moltke  : 
then  at  other  photographs  of  public  men  and  private 
friends.  He  said : “ Why,  there  is  intelligence  in  all 
these  faces!  We  Chinamen  seem  to  be  expressionless 
as  compared  with  you  foreigners.  Our  officials  are  no 
good  at  all.  Each  man  of  you  seems  to  wear  an 
air  of  vigour  and  resolve,  whilst  Chinamen  are  like 
so  many  moulded  images.  Look  at  this  ” (pointing 
to  the  taotai  P 'eng),  “ and  compare  it  with  that  ” 
(pointing  to  Charles  Dickens). 

Perhaps  a portrait  of  the  good  old  P'eng  would  not 
come  amiss ; I should  like  to  give  it.  He  was  a kind- 
hearted  old  man,  of  the  gelatinous  type,  who  fed  him- 
self up  carefully  on  swallows’  nests,  sea-slugs,  and  other 
aphrodisiacs : he  desired  nothing  beyond  “ enjoying 
happiness,”  and  dying  with  decency  and  credit. 

SAUL!  SAUL!  WHY  PERSECUTEST  THOU  ME? 

There  never  was  a more  loyal  and  noble-hearted  man 
than  Dr.  Hance  ; but,  owing  to  his  incurable  incapacity 
for  Chinese,  he  did  not  “get  on.”  However,  Sir 


i86  RELIGION  AND  MISSIONARIES 


Thomas  Wade  was  a generous-minded  man  too,  and 
therefore,  on  Sir  Brooke  Robertson’s  retirement,  “ Old 
Hance”  got  his  opportunity,  though  never  his  com- 
mission as  consul  to  the  very  last.  His  friendship 
with  Liu  K'un-yih  in  1879-80  was  as  striking  as  Sir 
Brooke’s  had  been  with  Jweilin.  Here  ignorance 
actually  stood  in  good  stead,  for  most  consuls  “ murder  ” 
their  Chinese  so  much  that  they  lose  in  dignity  by  using 
it.  Hance’s  words  of  wisdom,  uttered  in  the  barbarous 
accents  of  “ Europe,”  accordingly  often  fell  to  my 
department  to  translate ; and  his  “ great  thoughts,” 
even  as  imperfectly  rendered  by  me,  impressed  the 
Viceroy  very  much — not  to  speak  of  his  world-wide 
reputation  as  a man  of  science. 

Once  Liu  K'un-yih  paid  Hance  a visit  to  complain  of 
the  violent  demeanour  of  the  French  consul,  and  also  to 
protest  against  the  Chinese  being  forced  to  believe  what 
he  called  the  nonsense  {zvu-ki,  or  “ without  book  ”) 
preached  by  English  and  other  missionaries.  Liu 
K'un-yih  had  been  a great  “ persecutor  of  the  Israelites  ” 
in  Kiang  Si,  and  when  Governor  of  that  province  had 
once  been  visited  by  the  intrepid  Baber.  I had  been 
in  charge  at  Kewkiang  shortly  after  Baber,  and  was 
therefore  able  to  “rub  it  into”  Liu  K'un-yih’s  very 
marrow  bones  by  argumenta  ad  ho7uinem,  when  Dr. 
Hance  addressed  him  somewhat  as  follows : 

“ We  cannot  possibly  interfere  with  the  French,  who 
have  their  own  way  of  doing  things  ; but  no  British 
missionary  will  be  allowed  to  meddle  in  native  affairs. 


“SAGE  HOMER’S  RULE  THE  BEST”  187 

At  the  same  time,  I and  my  second  are  both  personal 
friends  of  most  of  the  missionaries,  Catholic  as  well 
as  Protestant,  French  as  well  as  English  and  American  ; 
and  we  know  perfectly  well  that  they  are  doing  the  best 
they  can,  according  to  their  own  lights.  In  England 
we  have  had  our  days  of  persecution  too,  when  the 
Lord  of  Heaven  [Catholic]  and  Jesus  [Protestant]  sects 
burnt  each  other  alive  in  turn,  and  kept  the  country  in 
a state  of  perpetual  ferment.  But  we  have  now  got  rid 
of  Papal  dictation,  and  have  found  it  possible  to  extend 
equal  toleration  to  all  religions,  the  Roman  Catholic 
included.  In  India  we  do  not  allow  our  own  people  to 
set  foot  in  a Jain  temple,  nor  do  we  allow  Mussulmans 
and  Hindoos  to  bully  each  other.  Frenchmen  are  free 
to  convert  the  natives  to  Catholicism  there.  Parsees 
are  at  liberty  to  bury  themselves  publicly  in  vultures’ 
bellies,  and  cremations  take  place  all  day  long  in  the 
high  streets  of  Benares.  People  never  quarrel  so  much 
as  on  subjects  they  know  nothing  about ; and  your  own 
Emperor  Taokwang  once  issued  a well-known  edict  to 
this  effect.  Neither  the  Pope,  nor  the  Czar,  nor  the 
Emperor  of  China  knows  anything  whatever  about  a 
future  life  ; nor  did  Confucius ; d fortiori  the  mission- 
aries do  not.  Thus  there  is  unlimited  scope  for  belief, 
and  the  more  you  violently  contest  things  incapable 
of  demonstration,  the  more  you  excite  the  antagonism 
of  the  would-be  demonstrator.  Do  what  we  do.  Let 
the  missionaries  preach  away, — any  religion  they  like. 
No  bones  are  broken,  and  no  one  is  forced  to  believe. 


i88  RELIGION  AND  MISSIONARIES 


If  you  persecute,  you  create  an  imperium  in  imperio 
of  disaffection,  and  give  the  missionaries  a factitious 
importance  : you  ‘ nourish  a tiger  to  your  future 
sorrow.’  ” 

Liu  K"un-yih  listened  very  attentively  to  these  ex- 
hortations, and  frequently  recurred  to  them  at  future 
interviews,  announcing  his  conviction  that  there  was 
“something  in  it”  pu-wu  k'o-ts  ai"  — not  without  the 
selectable  ”).  On  Dr.  Hance’s  return  to  Whampoa, 
Liu  wrote  him  a most  affectionate  letter,  and  asked  him 
to  dinner  in  private.  Ever  since  then  his  policy  has 
been  steadily  on  the  side  of  order  and  protection.  He 
has  no  respect  whatever  for  “ beliefs,”  but  he  sees  that 
the  medical  and  school  work  of  the  missionaries  is 
good.  He  despises  native  Christians,  simply  because 
he  does  not  believe  in  the  purity  of  their  motives  ; but 
he  does  not  persecute  them.  Since  1880  there  have 
been  numerous  instances  where  he  has  maintained 
order  ; and,  so  far  as  I am  aware,  there  is  not  a single 
instance  where  he  has  been  charged  with  instigating 
or  conniving  at  breach  of  order  ; — I mean  in  missionary 
affairs. 


A NARROW  ESCAPE 

Even  so  recently  as  sixteen  years  ago  it  was  a 
capital  offence  to  import  Christian  literature  into  Corea, 
and  the  history  of  the  Missions  Etrangeres  in  that 
country  is  replete  with  stories  of  fidelity  and  martyrdom. 
After  the  bloodthirsty  persecutions  instituted  by 


ANGELS  AND  MINISTERS  OF  GRACE”  189 


the  present  King’s  father  in  1866-8,  Fathers  Blanc 
and  Deguette  managed  to  creep  unobserved  into 
the  country  once  more,  in  1876;  and  two  young 
French  priests  travelled  with  me  to  Chemulpho,  in 
order  to  join  them,  in  April,  1885.  They  mysteriously 
disappeared  from  the  harbour  during  the  night,  having 
been  spirited  away  in  the  usual  disguise  by  some 
faithful  converts. 

In  Corea  widowers  always  travel  with  a white  veil 
or  gag  over  their  mouth  and  nose,  like  the  Turkish 
women  of  Constantinople ; and  they  may  not  under 
any  circumstances  be  spoken  to.  This  curious  custom 
lends  itself  with  facility  to  silent  disguises,  and  up 
to  1886  the  French  missionaries  always  availed  them- 
selves of  it ; of  course  carrying  their  lives  in  their 
hands  ; or  in  their  nerves. 

Towards  the  end  of  1885,  M.  Paulus  von  Moellendorff, 
a foreign  official  holding  high  office  in  Corea,  wrote  to 
inform  me  that  a convert,  either  Corean  or  Chinese,  I 
forget  which,  had  been  arrested  by  the  Prefect  of  Insan 
with  a trunk  of  New  Testaments  in  his  possession.  The 
peculiar  circumstances  of  his  temporary  position  rendered 
it  almost  impossible  for  the  foreign  official  in  question 
(himself  in  serious  trouble)  to  interfere  ; but,  as  de- 
capitation was  almost  certain,  he  invited  me,  in  the 
interests  of  humanity  as  well  as  of  Christianity,  and 
at  the  urgent  request  of  Bishop  sBlanc,  whose  own 
position  was  still  secret  and  doubtful,  to  obtain  the 
man’s  release  officieusenient.  Luckily  for  the  indiscreet 


190  RELIGION  AND  MISSIONARIES 


importer  of  books,  the  prefect,  whose  city  lay  about 
four  miles  down  the  coast,  was  a personal  friend  of 
mine,  and  had  eaten  several  savoury  dinners  (getting 
gloriously  drunk  on  one  occasion)  at  my  house. 
It  was  not  very  easy  to  justify  my  unofficial  inter- 
ference, for  of  the  three  or  four  nationalities  concerned 
not  one  was  British ; and  there  was  at  the  time 
neither  a British  merchant  nor  a British  missionary 
anywhere  in  Corea. 

I shall  never  forget  the  prefect’s  visit : he  came 
in  state  from  Insan,  and  was  “ supported  ” under 
the  elbows  by  his  followers  as  he  waddled  into 
my  presence  (no  mandarin  may  walk  unsupported) ; 
wearing  his  horse-hair  hat,  exactly  like  that  of  an  old 
Welshwoman  ; his  robes,  cope,  and  stole  ; and  (strangest 
of  all  strange  customs)  carrying  his  copper  yo-katig* 
(always  deposited  by  Corean  magnates  outside  the 
door)  in  his  hand.  As  a sequel  to  the  interview,  the 
incriminated  man  was  shortly  afterwards  released. 

A few  days  later,  I was  surprised  to  receive  a 
visit  from  a foreigner  who  looked  like  a beach- 
comber ; it  was  one  of  the  French  missionaries,  who 
had  been  sent  down  by  the  bishop  to  acknowledge 
the  service.  He  had  got  out  of  his  widower’s 
disguise,  and  had  purchased  a cheap  “ slop  suit  ” 
for  the  occasion  at  a Chinese  store,  the  fit  of  which 
suit  was  something  to  remember.  He  seemed  to 
have  lost  fluency  in  his  own  language.  From 
* See  Glossary. 


BY  THAT  SIN  FELL  THE  ANGELS”  191 


enquiries  I have  recently  made  in  Paris,  I find  this 
“ beach-comber  ” was  the  late  Provicar  Pere  Coste. 

THE  SEED  OF  THE  CHURCH 

Lo  Pao-CHI  was  in  the  zenith  of  his  power  and 
pride  when  I first  visited  him  early  in  the  year 
1881:  six  years  later  “his  head  and  his  body 

occupied  different  places,” — as  the  Chinese  proclamations 
say  when  they  threaten  the  “ silly  people  ” with  dire 
penalties.  He  was  the  recognised  head  of  the  Chung- 
king Christians  in  this  sense ; that  he  was  a rich, 
influential  trader ; had  the  courage  to  publicly  admit 
that  he  and  his  family  were  Catholics ; resisted  the 
efforts  of  pagan,  Mussulman,  and  other  gentry  to 
force  his  hand  in  the  usual  thorny  matters  of  public 
subscriptions  for  “ pagan  ” purposes ; and  acted  as  a 
sort  of  go-between,  or  amicus  curiae,  betwixt  the 
bishopric  and  the  mandarins. 

When  the  French  political  influence  at  Peking 
was  not  only  very  low, — between  the  dates  of  the 
unavenged  Tientsin  massacre  and  the  seizure  by 
France  of  Tonquin, — but  was  unwillingly  exerted 
in  favour  of  the  missionaries’  “ advanced  policy,”  the 
two  Sz  Ch'wan  bishoprics  had  to  draw  in  their  horns 
for  a time : the  energy  of  the  last  incumbent  was 
disavowed  and  deprecated  ; the  claim  of  the  bishops 
to  visit  the  mandarins  in  official  chairs  and  call  them- 
selves ta-jen  (=  great  man)  was  not  admitted;  and, 
so  far  as  Eastern  Sz  Ch'wan  was  concerned,  the  charge 


192  RELIGION  AND  MISSIONARIES 


was  left  by  the  Holy  See  for  some  years  in  the  hands 
of  a vicar-general  of  neutral  or  conciliatory  character 
Monsgr.  Blettery.  Neither  he  nor  any  of  the  French 
priests  at  that  time  ever  appeared  in  the  public  streets  ; 
whenever  they  had  to  go  out  at  all,  it  was  in  closed 
native  sedans  of  the  ordinary  road-traveller  type. 
Outside  Chungking  and  other  large  cities  there  was 
less  necessity  for  concealment ; but  of  course  they 
all  wore  Chinese  clothes,  as  nearly  all  Roman  Catholic 
priests  in  China  are  in  the  habit  of  doing. 

At  a dinner  courteously  given  to  me  by  Lo  Pao-chf 
in  a pretty  little  temple  garden  (I  think  Christian 
property)  within  the  walls,  the  genial  Mgr.  Blettery  and 
one  or  two  other  hospitable  Frenchmen  were  present. 
Of  course  these  gentlemen  were  more  competent 
than  I to  form  an  opinion  as  to  their  then  leading 
convert’s  value ; at  least  as  a Christian  ; and  perhaps 
also  as  a man  : in  the  latter  capacity,  however,  he 
did  not  impress  me  as  a person  I should  care  to 
trust  very  far,  though  I must,  in  justice  to  him,  say 
that,  during  my  year’s  stay,  he  proved  exceedingly 
well-disposed  towards  me  personally ; not  so  much  on 
my  own  account  as  because  my  presence  was  indirectly 
strengthening  to  the  mission.  It  was  generally  under- 
stood that  he  maintained  in  his  household  a number 
of  paid  bravos,  whose  function  it  was  to  shadow  him 
in  the  streets,  and,  if  necessary,  protect  him  by  force 
from  the  intrigues  of  his  enemies,  of  whom  he  had 
many ; and  when  the  second  riot  occurred  in  1 886, 


I’VE  SET  MY  LIFE  UPON  A CAST”  193 


it  seems  that  the  violence  or  excessive  zeal  of  these 
mercenaries  really  indirectly  cost  him  his  own  life. 
It  was  also  made  pretty  clear  to  me  in  1881  that  the 
man  was  hated,  both  by  the  mandarins,  who  utilised 
his  services  rather  out  of  fear  than  from  any  feeling 
of  respect ; and  by  some  of  the  leading  Mussulmans,  who 
were  jealous  alike  of  his  general  commercial  influence, 
and  of  the  Christian  predominancy  over  Islam. 

However  that  may  be,  the  riot  of  1886-7  took  effect 
exactly  where  that  of  1881  failed  to  come  to  a serious 
head,  and  savage  attacks  were  made  upon  the  Roman 
Catholic  mission,  which  was  destroyed,  as  well  as  upon 
the  local  Christians.  Undei*  these  alarming  circum- 
stances Lo  Pao-chl  organised  a determined  defence  of 
his  own  property,  and  the  services  of  his  bullies  were 
utilised  to  beat  off  the  rioters  from  his  house : this,  of 
course,  could  easily  be  maliciously  construed  into  a 
“rebellious  taking  of  the  law  into  his  own  hands.”  In 
the  scrimmage  which  ensued,  a man  was  killed,  and 
such  an  occurrence  served  as  a welcome  pretext  for 
bringing  a charge  of  murder  against  the  too  enter- 
prising owner  of  the  house.  Satisfaction  was  duly 
made  to  the  missionaries,  but  the  “ face  ” of  the 
mandarins  vis-a-vis  of  their  own  people  was  saved 
by  making  a scapegoat  of  Lo  Pao-chi',  who,  despite  the 
most  desperate  efforts  to  save  him  made  by  the  French 
Minister  at  Peking,  suffered  the  extreme  penalty  of 
the  law,  and  was  ignominiously  decapitated, — as  already 
narrated  under  another  head. 


13 


194  RELIGION  AND  MISSIONARIES 


FATHER  CADOUX 

Kachyns  are  not  Chinamen,  but  they  live  on  the 
borders  of  China,  look  like  Chinese,  and  talk  in  tones 
and  monosyllables  like  Chinese;  in  fact,  although,  like 
their  kinsmen  the  Burmese  (who  have  become  affected 
by  admixture  of  Hindoo  and  Peguan  blood),  of  Tibetan 
stock,  they  are  as  much  Chinese  as  the  Hungarians 
are  “ Austrian.”  Father  Cadoux  ignored  the  Shans, 
Burmese,  and  Chinese,  confining  his  ministrations 
solely  to  the  Kachyns, — or  Singpho,  as  they  call 
themselves. 

In  1888  I hunted  him  up  at  a humble  residence  in 
the  jungle  outside  Bhamo,  my  object  being  to  arrive 
at  certain  conclusions  connected  with  the  language. 
His  house  was  a kind  of  reed  hut,  total  value  perhaps 
five  pounds  ; he  had  planks  laid  across  trestles  for  a 
bed,  and  the  only  furniture  consisted  of  a couple  of 
rough  chairs  and  a table.  He  entertained  me  with 
a “ swarry,”  consisting  of  a scraggy  chicken  and  red 
rice.  The  bread  was  a “ caution  ” to  weak  digestions ; 
luckily  mine  was  strong.  He  had  no  wine ; not  even 
altar  wine. 

In  1892-3  I found  he  had  been  home  to  recuperate, 
having  nearly  lost  his  life  through  repeated  attacks 
of  fever  in  the  jungle.  He  now  looked  fitter  than 
ever,  and  he  had  moved  out  about  eight  miles  into 
the  true  virgin  jungle,  far  away  from  any  Europeans. 
He  used  to  walk  in  barefoot,  carrying  his  soutane 


VILLAGE  PREACHER’S  MANSION 


195 


and  sombrero  strapped  to  his  back,  his  white  breeches 
hitched  up  to  the  thighs,  and  a thick  stick  in  his  hand. 

There  was  now  a mission  house  at  Bhamo,  and  he 
liked  to  stroll  in  occasionally  for  a good  feed  with  his 
colleagues.  On  two  occasions  I tramped  out  with  him, 
in  order  to  inspect  his  arrangements, — also  barefoot ; for 
the  jungle  is  so  muddy  that  the  simplest  way  is  to 
discard  as  many  garments  as  possible.  We  were  in 
a regular  Kachyn  village ; not  one  of  the  indigenous 
type  with  enormous  houses  like  those  of  Fiji,  but 
in  a Burmo-Kachyn  squatters’  settlement.  To  get 
into  the  dwelling  we  had  to  clamber  up  a ladder  and 
tumble  into  a sort  of  mat  hut,  supported  on  poles 
to  keep  out  snakes,  etc.  The  roof,  walls,  and  floor 
were  all  of  coarse  matting ; and  there  we  both  dined 
and  slept  (I  providing  the  dinner,  which  we  carried 
with  us). 

Father  Cadoux  was  always  in  debt ; he  had  long 
ago  exceeded  the  slender  allowance  made  by  his 
superiors,  and  the  British  administration  (once  at  my 
suggestion)  had  at  different  times  stretched  various 
points  in  his  favour.  He  had  sold  all  his  valuables, — 
that  is,  all  the  presents  his  friends  had  given  him 
when  at  home, — and  he  had  now  nothing  left  but  his 
two  guns.  Shooting  was  his  only  solace  ; but  he  was 
running  short  of  ammunition,  and  had  to  make  his 
own  cartridges  with  native  powder.  He  had  no  books 
beyond  his  “ exercises  ” ; no  meat,  no  wine,  no  drugs. 
He  had  a tiny  chapel  arranged  in  an  adjoining  hut. 


196  RELIGION  AND  MISSIONARIES 


and  he  had  spent  and  intended  to  spend  the  whole 
of  his  strength  in  endeavouring  to  convert  the  Kachyns  ; 
get  them  to  abandon  their  wasteful  habit  of  burning 
down  the  forests  for  cultivable  land ; and  turn  them 
into  peaceful,  settled  communities.  The  Kachyns 
seemed  very  fond  of  him,  and  the  local  government 
appreciated  his  efforts  : but  it  was  really  like  pouring 
water  into  a sieve  : his  capacity  to  receive  and  spend 
w'as  inexhaustible,  but  not  one  penny  did  he  spend 
unnecessarily  on  himself. 

In  appearance  he  reminded  me  very  much  of 
the  murderer  Dumollard  of  thirty-five  years  ago. 
He  had  an  enormous,  thick,  black  beard ; a square- 
made,  sturdy,  hairy  body ; and  a fearless,  almost  fierce 
aspect.  He  was  a pure  enthusiast ; but  he  did  not 
mind  being  “chaffed,”  and  he  got  plenty  of  chaff  from 
me,  who  did  not  take  the  least  interest  in  the  spiritual 
welfare  of  the  Kachyns.  He  was  excellent  company, 
enjoyed  a good  dejetiner  d la  fourchette,  and  could 
drink  and  smoke  with  any  man.  At  last  he  was 
reduced  to  selling  his  best  gun,  the  one  his  old 
mother  had  given  him  as  a parting  gift.  All  he 
wanted  was  that  it  should  be  in  friendly  hands.  I 
bought  it  for  forty  rupees,  and  I had  intended  to  send 
it  back  so  soon  as  he  should  have  got  his  mission 
“ straightened  out  ” financially.  But  when  I got  to 
Hongkong  on  my  way  home  in  1894,  I was  not  allowed 
to  land,  on  account  of  the  plague,  and  had  to  go  straight 
from  gunboat  to  steamer : the  instant  I got  on  board  the 


NO  ITALIAN  PRIEST  SHALL  TITHE”  197 


steamer,  I learnt  from  a French  missionary  that  poor 
Father  Cadoux  was  no  more : fever  and  starvation  had 
done  their  work. 

ROMAN  CATHOLIC  EDUCATION 

It  may  be  supposed,  from  the  casual  quips  in  which 
I indulge  in  these  papers,  that  I am  no  admirer  of 
missionaries,  not  to  say  of  Roman  Catholics  and 
Jesuits ; but  this  is  quite  a mistake,  for  I myself 
have  many  ties  among  them,  and  am  even  a consistent 
supporter  of,  the  Jesuits’  work  in  China ; besides  having 
taken  the  trouble  to  translate  from  the  Latin,  and  to 
publish,  the  esoteric  official  history  of  their  rivals  there, 
the  Missions  Etrangeres.  I make  this  reservation  : 
though  a genuine  Christian  myself,  I decline  to  recog- 
nise anything  superhuman  in  their  religious  dogma, 
which  I regard  merely  as  a useful  human  discipline  ; 
just  as  the  teetotallers  and  the  Salvation  Army,  with 
all  their  one-idea’dness  and  their  eccentricity,  seem  to 
me  to  be  on  a better  tack  than  the  loafers,  drinkers, 
and  debauched  wastrels  who  grace  our  European  towns  ; 
not  excluding  my  own  native  city. 

During  the  winter  of  1884-5  I visited  the  late  Bishop 
Gamier  and  most  of  the  following  Jesuit  establishments  : 
(i)  the  central  residence  at  Siccawei,  Chinese  college, 
Chinese  news  agency,  etc ; (2)  the  Chinese  orphanage 
and  printing-press  close  by  at  Tusewei ; and  the 
Chinese  girls’  school,  female  doctors’  school,  women’s 
asylum,  etc.,  of  Sengmuyu : also  the  Chinese  hospital 


198  RELIGION  AND  MISSIONARIES 


at  Tungkadu,  south-east  of  Shanghai  ; the  enormous 
“ Eurasian  ” girls’  schools  at  Shanghai  ; the  Chinese 
boys’  schools  at  Hongkew  (American  Shanghai)  ; and 
the  Chinese  hospitals,  etc.,  within  the  native  city  walls  : 
in  addition,  a little  earlier,  their  establishments  at  Wuhu 
up  the  river,  where  for  a short  time  I was  consul  : but  of 
this  last  mentioned  An  Hwei  group  I saw  comparatively 
little.  The  work  done  is  enormous,  and  when  I say 
that  there  are  nearly  nine  hundred  Jesuit  stations  in 
Kiang  Nan  {i.e.  Kiang  Su  and  An  Hwei),  each  with  a 
chapel ; over  three  hundred  Chinese  boys’  schools  and 
four  hundred  Chinese  girls’  schools  ; and  that  pagans 
as  well  as  Christians  are  educated,  I lay  stress  in  my 
own  mind  not  so  much  on  the  ghostly  as  on  the 
mundane  benefits  conferred. 

Under  Bishop  Gamier  the  Jesuits  of  Kiang  Nan 
seemed  to  hold  more  aloof  than  now  from  French 
political  ambition  ; and  I hope  they  will  not,  since 
M.  Gerard  (the  able  French  Minister  who  suddenly 
appeared,  as  told  in  another  story,  at  my  bedside  in 
Hoihow)  thought  fit  to  give  a strong  fillip  to  French  pro- 
pagandism,  endanger  the  legitimate  moral  success  of  their 
splendid  cause  by  mixing  themselves  up  too  much  with 
national  rivalries.  The  late  P.  Gaillard,  for  instance, 
has  published  a polemical  work  altogether  too  full  of 
the  political  anglophobia,  though  he  himself  once  had 
to  fly  to  Jersey  for  British  hospitality  and  protection. 

The  Missions  Etrangeres  are  seen  at  their  best 
under  English  protection  at  Penang ; and  indeed  it  is 


ONK  OF  THE  SHANGHAI  JESUITS’  OUrilANAGES.  ( 7V< /ilf(  /i.  198. 


TELL  IT  NOT  IN  GATH 


199 


in  Burma  and  such  places,  where  absolute  freedom  and 
liberality  is  enjoyed  under  the  British  flag,  that  French 
missionaries  display  their  noblest  qualities,  free  from 
the  temptation  to  join  their  vivacious  lay  compatriots 
in  the  congenial  task  of  “ pulling  the  English  leg.” 
It  is  under  their  own  not  very  tolerant  flag, — as,  for 
instance,  in  Annam  and  Tonquin, — that  they  appear 
at  their  second  best : no  Protestant  missionary  dares  to 
show  his  nose  in  Tonquin.  Only  in  this  year  (1901) 
some  Protestants  endeavoured  through  me  to  get  their 
Testaments  translated  into  Annamese — or,  rather,  to 
have  their  translations  checked  ; but,  as  the  French  have 
the  monopoly  of  that  language,  I find  it  is  well-nigh 
impossible.  I have  myself  had  to  contrast  the  cold, 
bare  courtesy  of  the  Hanoi  bishop,  who  mistook  me 
for  a ministre  avec  sa  Bible,  with  the  warm  geniality  of 
that  noble  old  man,  the  late  scholarly  and  distinguished 
Bishop  Bigandet  of  Rangoon.  I paid  three  visits  to  the 
Chinese  college  at  Penang,  where  the  Very  Reverend 
Father  E.  Wallays  most  courteously  showed  me 
all  there  was  to  be  seen.  In  general  principle  it  is 
conducted  on  the  same  lines  as  the  Jesuit  establish- 
ment at  Siccawei.  At  first  Pere  Wallays  did  not 
half  like  my  publishing  the  “ confidential  ” history  of 
his  mission — in  fact,  it  was,  I believe,  generally  resented 
as  a “ liberty  ” for  a layman  to  take ; but  he  subse- 
quently aided  me  to  issue  a second  edition,  corrected 
by  himself ; so  that  he  must  have  seen  that  I had,  after 
all,  been  tolerably  fair. 


200  RELIGION  AND  MISSIONARIES 


I saw  a great  deal  of  the  Missions  Etrangeres  in 
Corea,  Sz  Ch'wan,  Kwei  Chou,  Canton,  Siam,  Burma, 
etc.,  etc.,  and  have  had  many  warm  friends  amongst 
their  members,  whose  courage  is  unquestionable  ; but 
their  methods  are  sometimes  a little  too  aggressive 
and  militant  to  meet  our  views  of  what  charity  and 
religion  ought  to  be ; nor  are  their  average  men 
so  thoroughly  grounded  in  scientific  theology,  or  so 
admirably  disciplined,  as  the  Jesuits;  who  compel 
veneration  and  respect  in  China  by  the  sheer  force 
of  their  erudition  and  self-denial.  They  have  the  good 
sense  to  discern  that  the  Chinese  intellect  demands 
their  very  best  men. 

Lest  it  be  supposed  that  I have  a bias  against  my 
own  countrymen  and  their  “ average  ” religion,  I may 
just  casually  add  that  the  China  Inland  Mission,  which, 
like  the  above  two,  works  in  Chinese  clothes,  has 
always  impressed  me  as  doing  excellent  medical  and 
lay  work,  and  as  coming  the  nearest  among  the 
Protestants  to  St.  Paul’s  standard.  Personally,  and 
for  the  sake  of  political  peace,  I should  like  to  see 
the  China  Inland  Mission  and  the  Jesuits  absorb  all 
other  rivals,  and  to  have  them  left  in  charge  of  all 
Chinese  Christians,  as  friendly  rivals. 

PAGAN  CHRISTIANS 

The  good  Father  Baptista  had  become  quite  a fashion- 
able member  of  society  since  he  took  to  riding  his 
“ pon  ” into  Hoihow  and  cracking  a joke  with  his  flock 


IN  SUCH  A QUESTIONABLE  SHAPE 


201 


(the  Patrick  Fitzpatrick  O’Tooles).  (I  may  mention  to 
those  unacquainted  with  the  Portuguese  that  there 
is  a colloquial  tendency  in  that  language  to  drop 
final  e ; and  thus  the  English  word  poney  becomes 
“ pon.”)  He  was  now,  two  years  later,  “ bearded  like 
the  pard,”  and  the  head  of  the  Portuguese  mission 
at  Singapore.  At  Hoihow  he  was  unable  (unless 
he  drew  upon  his  slender  store  of  altar  wine) 
to  offer  other  hospitality  than  skinny  chickens,  rice, 
and  tea  ; and  lived  in  humble  Chinese  style.  In  his 
capacious  residence  at  Singapore  he  did  me  well  at 
table,  and  took  me  for  a gharry  drive.  We  passed  a 
church  on  the  way  back,  and  he  told  me  it  was  very 
popular  with  the  Chine.se.  I was  rather  surprised  to 
hear  this,  and  presumed  he  was  referring  to  “ old 
Christians  ” of  St.  Francis  Xavier’s  time,  three  centuries 
ago.  But,  to  my  still  greater  surprise,  he  added  that 
the  well-disposed  Chinesb  in  question  were  pagans, 
and  that  they  came  annually  to  make  a sort  of 
pilgrimage  and  sacrifice  to  the  Holy  Mother — a term 
which  occurs  in  their  own  Pantheon.  The  details  of 
the  story  have  escaped  my  memory,  but  it  was  some- 
what as  follows  : — 

A Chinese  had,  many  years  ago,  been  in  great  peril 
or  distress,  and  somehow  or  other  a vow  had  been 
made  that,  if  relief  were  obtained,  rewards  would  be 
conferred  upon  the  aiding  spirit.  Relief  came,  and 
news  of  it  spread  like  wild-fire ; hence  the  Chinese — 
i.e.  those  hailing  from  the  same  home  villages  as  the 


202  RELIGION  AND  MISSIONARIES 


persons  immediately  concerned — enthusiastically  took 
the  matter  up.  Every  year  a sort  of  wake  was  held  : 
the  church  was  thrown  open  ; offerings  were  made 
to  the  Virgin  Mary’s  image ; and  there  was  a general 
jollification.  So  far  as  I understood  Father  Baptista,  no 
obtrusive  attempt  was  made  by  him  to  divert  this 
rill  of  “ faith  ” into  the  main  stream  of  orthodoxy  ; and 
I think  wisely  so. 

I just  mention  this  circumstance  to  illustrate  the 
position  that  the  Chinese  as  a nation  are  naturally 
disposed  to  gratitude  and  piety  ; and  (though  Father 
Baptista  was  not  a Jesuit)  that  the  original  Jesuit 
plan  of  following  the  line  of  least  resistance,  and 
availing  themselves  of  the  latent  energy  contained  in 
existing  materials,  is  the  true  way  to  Christianise  the 
Chinese.  For  policy’s  sake,  of  course,  the  Jesuits 
must  accept  the  Pope’s  dicta ; but  some  thinking  men 
regard  the  Jesuits  as  an  organisation  not  inferior  to 
the  Vatican  in  the  way  of  sound  judgment. 

Buddhist  prayers  were  offered  up  by  some  of  my 
retainers  for  my  safety  whenever  I left  China.  I 
approved ; that  is,  I was  totally  indifferent  to  the 
outward  form  of  the  prayers,  so  long  as  the  person 
praying  was  in  earnest.  The  Taoist  charm  granted 
to  me  by  the  Taoist  “Pope”  was  believed  to  have 
saved  me  at  Chungking.  What  does  it  matter  Avhether 
the  Chinese  thought  so  or  not?  The  Chinese  do  not 
possess  the  persecuting  spirit,  and  are  disposed  to 
grant  “ free  trade  and  open  door  ” to  all  beliefs,  so 


“BE  JUST,  AND  FEAR  NOT”  203 

long  as  public  order  is  maintained  in  the  approved 
ways.  As  for  myself,  I have  always  selected  the 
Roman  Catholic  religion  for  my  own  juvenile  educational 
purposes  on  account  of  its  superior  discipline  ; but  I do 
not  for  that  reason  feel  bound  to  accept  its  dogmas  ; 
nor  do  I see  necessity  to  recognise  the  capacity  of 
the  Pope  or  any  one  else,  Roman  Catholic  or 
Protestant,  to  evolve  positive  judgments  as  to  a 
future,  touching  which  we  are  all  profoundly  ignorant. 
I simply  support  him  as  the  head  of  an  educational 
department,  and  I hope  he  and  his  successors  will 
march  along  with  the  reforms  of  the  time.  The 
Christian  spirit  of  Christ  is,  in  my  humble  opinion, 
as  much  present  in  Buddhism  and  Taoism  as  it  is 
in  our  Churches ; and  even  in  Islam  there  is  much 
that  resembles  the  Christian  spirit, — which,  indeed, 
Islam  itself  recognises  with  respect.  The  Government 
of  India,  a splendid  example  of  tolerance,  protects  all 
systems,  “ idolatry  ” included. 

In  short,  it  appears  to  me  that  there  is  only  one 
religion,  as  there  is  only  one  truth.  Benjamin  Disraeli 
is  said  to  have  observed : “ All  wise  men  have  the 
same  religion,  but  no  wise  man  says  what  it  is.”  Even 
the  orthodox  Johnson  asserts : “ All  denominations 
of  Christians  have  really  little  difference  in  point  of 
doctrine,  though  they  may  differ  widely  in  external 
forms.  . . . With  contests  concerning  moral  truth, 
human  passions  are  generally  mixed.”  There  is  no 
indispensable  truth  in  any  belief  which  rests  on  the 


204  RELIGION  AND  MISSIONARIES 


imagination  ; and  religion  is  not  indispensable  in  truth, 
which  is  independent  of  moral  contest.  Truth  is  what 
the  straightforward,  honest  mind  deduces  or  tries  to 
deduce  from  concrete  facts  apparent  to  the  senses ; 
and  moral  conviction  is  what  the  mind,  which  is 
simply  the  sense  of  imagination,  imagines  as  to  guiding 
principles.  If  a person  imagines  a thing  to  be  true, 
what  he  imagines  must  be  the  “ faith  ” which  com- 
mends itself  to  his  mind ; he  can  listen  to  the  ex- 
hortations of  others  if  he  likes  ; but  he  himself  is  final 
judge — that  is,  if  he  possesses  any  mind  which  he  feels 
equal  to  the  task  of  judging.  On  this  rational  basis, 
I believe,  the  Chinese  as  a nation  are  willing  to  listen, 
which  is  the  first  step  towards  believing ; and  therefore, 
(as  some  say)  towards  salvation. 


CHAPTER  X 

HUMANITAS 

CHINESE  TEACHERS 

HANG  the  Giant  and  his  Cantonese  friend  Ling 


A-luk  were  the  first  to  inoculate  me  with  the 
Celestial  virus.  This  was  in  1867,  and  the  Giant  in- 
formed me  that  he  came  from  a village  near  Hankow. 
I once  more  met  him,  “ on  show,”  at  a wax-work  ex- 
hibition in  1883,  and  rather  startled  him  by  addressing 
a few  peremptory  w'ords  to  him  in  the  local  Hankow 
brogue.  He  was  then  preening  himself  on  a dafs 
before  a bevy  of  admiring  women,  for  all  the  world 
like  an  emperor:  his  business  was  to  write  inscriptions 
on  fans  for  a small  fee  ; but  he  rose  respectfully  the 
instant  he  heard  " language  of  authority,”  and  some- 
what sadly  said  he  was  growing  tired  of  show  life,  had 
been  cheated  out  of  his  savings,  and  would  be  glad 
to  go  back,  even  as  “ boy,”  to  his  own  land. 

I daresay  “ city  men  ” will  recollect  a typical  China- 
man of  cunning  appearance,  dressed  as  a Celestial 
bourgeois,  who  used  to  put  on  a semi-daft  air  and 
parade  the  London  streets  at  about  that  time.  He  was 


205 


2o6 


HUMANITAS 


a Cantonese,  and  he  also  gave  me  a few  lessons.  In 
1897  I saw  him  shuffling  about  Highbury  in  what  looked 
like  the  same  old  clothes  he  wore  in  1867.  He  had 
on  felt  slippers  lined  with  straw,  and  appeared  gouty 
or  rheumatic ; he  was  then  an  old  man.  I forget 
his  name  ; but  he  was  a humbug  and  a beggar : no 
fool. 

There  was  also  a Shanghai  man  of  ruddy  countenance, 
dressed  (as  I afterwards  discovered)  in  the  style  of  a 
boat  coolie,  who  wore  a brown  pork-pie  hat  (as  still 
worn  in  China),  and  sold  packets  of  scent  about 
Lombard  Street,  Cheapside,  and  Cornhill.  His  name 
was  Chen  K'ing-fung,  and  he  then  said  he  had  been 
a Shanghai  sampan  man ; he  possessed  an  English 
wife.  For  two  months  he  gave  me  instruction,  and 
it  was  a great  puzzle  to  me  to  reconcile  his  pro- 
nunciation with  that  of  the  two  Cantonese  and  the 
Hankow  man  above  described. 

Then  there  was  a man  named  Liu  (Lao  in  some 
dialects),  who  had  taken  to  European  clothes,  and  had 
transformed  himself  into  “ Mr.  Law.”  He  was  from 
Ningpo,  and  had  been  a cook  on  board  some  ship. 
Apparently  the  missionaries  had  worked  upon  his 
feelings,  and  had  obtained  for  him  a post  as  door-keeper 
to  one  of  the  Sailors’  Homes  on  the  Thames  bank. 
He  was  a most  regular  attendant  at  my  lodgings 
from  March  18  to  November  i,  1868,  and  his 
knowledge  of  the  written  character  was  sufficient  to 
admit  of  considerable  progress  being  made. 


A PROTEAN  TONGUE 


207 


During  all  this  time  the  Rev.  Dr.  James  Summers  of 
George  Yard,  Lombard  Street,  had  been  giving  lessons 
in  “ mandarin  ” to  myself  and  two  British  missionary 
students  named  Sadler  and  Bryson  (the  latter  I saw 
again  at  Hankow  in  July,  1872,  hard  at  his  work). 
Dr.  Summers  was  absolutely  the  only  European  I ever 
met  or  heard  of  who  could  use  the  pencil-brush  quite 
as  well  as  a Chinese ; he  was  even  able  to  do  the 
Japanese  flourishes,  which  are  an  infinitely  more  dififi- 
cult  form  of  calligraphy  ; and  there  was  a Japanese  of 
rank  named  Takeda  who  came  occasionally  to  chat 
with  him  and  to  give  him  lessons  in  fancy  writing. 
But  Dr.  Summers’  “ mandarin  ” did  not  in  the  least 
correspond  with  the  dialects  of  Ling,  Chang  (properly 
Chan),  Cheu,  or  Law. 

Finally,  the  last  part  of  Mr.  (Sir  T.)  Wade’s  Tzii- 
I erh-chi  came  out,  and  I at  once  set  to  work  to  clear 

I 

' up  the  mystery  of  conflicting  pronunciations  ; the 
work  was  subsequently  reviewed  at  length  in  The 
' Times.  But  the  plot  only  thickened,  and  his  “tones” 

I were  hopelessly  “ wrong.”  It  was  not  until  I actually 

' reached  Peking  in  1869  that  I found  I must  “unlearn” 

considerably.  The  true  explanation  is  that,  given  what 
we  might  call  an  ancient,  or  algebraical,  or  imaginary 
average  sound  pit,  this  becomes  pi,  pik,p'il,  pitsu,  hitsz, 
and  all  manner  of  things,  according  to  locality  ; and  its 
! “ tone,”  “ series,”  “ aspiration,”  etc.,  likewise  vary,  just 

as  do  its  initial  and  final.  So  with  every  word  in  the 

1 Chinese  language.  But  there  is  no  mystery. 


208  RELIGION  AND  MISSIONARIES 


OLD  OW 

During  temporarj^  sickness  in  1874,  my  Cantonese 
teacher,  himself  a man  of  brilliant  intelligence,  provided 
me  \vith  a substitute,  \vho  bore  the  ancient  double 
surname  of  Ou-yang  (local  Ao-yong),  shortened,  after 
Chinese  custom,  into  Ao.  He  was  a little,  thin  man 
with  a tremendous  nose  and  deep,  raucous  voice,  through 
which  instruments  he  emitted  with  clarion  precision 
the  then  still  but  half-understood  Cantonese  syllables ; 
and  above  all  the  tones — eighteen  of  them : it  was 
almost  like  the  braying  of  a jackass.  This  was  a 
revelation  to  me ; and  the  result  of  it  was  the  intro- 
duction of  a number  of  new  tones  into  scientific 
Cantonese,  the  very  existence  of  which  tones  was  at 
first  denied  by  local  scholars. 

On  my  return  to  Canton  in  1878,  I bethought  me 
of  “ Old  Ow,”  and  kept  him  on  my  premises  en 
disponabilite.  He  had  once  been  employed  as  a sh'i-ye 
(local  sz-ye),  or  secretary,  in  Hu  Nan  ; but  apparently 
his  rigid  and  Diogenes-like  virtue  had  failed  to  advance 
his  material  interests.  He  was,  in  one  sense,  a sort  of 
Chinese  Carlyle,  always  denouncing  humbugs  and  pre- 
tenders ; extolling  the  ancient  sages,  and  full  of  ceremony, 
funerals,  reverence  for  “ bones,”  and  all  manner  .of 
Confucian  characteristics  such  as  the  “ superior  man  ” 
ought  to  delight  in.  One  thing  he  could  not  do,  and 
that  was  speak  mandarin  properly  : it  was  therefore  not 
without  jealousy  that  he  heard  my  illiterate  “ boy  ” 


"OU'  ow  " AND  HON.  J.  STF  WART-I  OCKHART 


[ To  face  p.  208. 


THAT  OLD  MAN  ELOQUENT 


209 


converse  with  me  in  a dialect  he  would  have  given  his 
right  hand  to  speak.  It  was  a great  come-down  for  the 
old  man  to  have  to  teach  a barbarian  as  a solace  and 
support  for  the  sere  and  yellow  leaf  of  life.  He  used  to 
compare  me  with  Shih  Leh  (local  Shek  Lak)  and  other 
monarchs  of  Turkish  race  who,  fifteen  hundred  years 
ago,  sat  at  the  feet  of  Hindoo  and  Chinese  Gamaliels, 
such  as  Buddochinga  and  the  bonze  Hwei-sing. 

One  of  my  consuls  was  exceptionally  endowed  with 
official  dignity,  and  I was  once  asked  to  arrange  for  him 
an  interview  with  “ Old  Ovv,”  whose  nostrils  positively 
distended  with  indignation  at  the  thought  that  “ his 
Excellency  ” treated  teachers  as  servants,  and  would 
even  exact  respect  from  him.  Before  he  would  consent 
to  be  interviewed,  I had  to  arrange  officieusement  that 
both  of  them  should  stand  on  meeting  ; for  myself,  I 
never  ventured  to  talk  to  “ Old  Ow  ” until  he  was 
seated,  and  always  rose  as  he  entered  the  room  ; in 
well-bred  China  even  a viceroy  rises  to  a teacher. 

In  spite  of  his  sterling  honesty  and  Cato-like  severity, 
“ Old  Ow  ” was  mean  and  sordid  to  the  extreme  in  his 
private  life : he  used  to  intrigue  round  his  arch-enemy 
the  “ boy  ” in  order  to  get  a meal  gratis ; furtively 
swallow  opium  pills  to  conceal  the  fact  that  he  had  once 
been  an  opium  roue ; grow  purple  in  the  face  when 
bargaining  with  boatmen  about  a few  copper  cash ; and 
catch  rats  for  his  dinner  in  order  to  make  the  coy 
hair  grow.  He  was  never  tired  of  impressing  upon 
me  the  barbarism  of  my  nature,  though  he  admitted 


14 


210 


HUMANITAS 


towards  the  end  that  I was  gradually  becoming  rather 
a “ripe”  barbarian  under  his  lash.  Yet  did  I bear 
it  “with  a patient  shrug,” — though  sufferance  is 
decidedly  not  badge  of  all  my  tribe. 

On  the  arrival  in  1879  of  a Hongkong  cadet  to  study  ' 

Chinese  in  Canton,  I lent  him  “Old  Ow,”  who  took  the  j 

t 

youngster  up  country  and  taught  him  Cantonese  very  1 

w'ell.  A year  or  two  later  the  old  man  was  carried  off  j 

by  his  new  patron  to  the  barbarian  stronghold  of  Hong-  j 

kong,  and  given  employment  in  the  Registrar-General’s  j 

department,  where  he  served  with  great  fidelity  His 
shrewdness  and  hatred  of  roguery  made  him  very 
useful  in  the  matter  of  circumventing  humbugs ; but  his 
loyal  nature  never  permitted  of  his  being  utilised  as  a 
spy  or  informer.  He  used  occasionally  to  teach  the 
British  military  officers  Chinese ; but  he  did  not  admire 
their  artificial  style  at  all,  and  used  to  describe  them 
contemptuously  as  wu-niu  (local  inou-ngad),  or  “ military 
cattle.” 

It  is  no  exaggeration  to  say  that  “Old  Ow  ” is,  in  a 
way,  at  the  bottom  of  modern  Cantonese  as  now  under- 
stood, for  he  translated  Sir  Thomas  Wade’s  Colloquial 
Course  half  a dozen  times  into  that  dialect ; he  was  also 
the  first  to  make  its  “tonic”  mysteries  quite  clear,  and 
to  define  them  by  fixed  formula.  He  died  in  harness 
about  ten  years  ago,  and  his  portrait  in  oils  still  adorns 
the  public  offices  of  Hongkong.  I am  not  sure  but  that 
the  British  Government  (local)  did  some  honour  to  his 
uncompromising  manes.  At  all  events,  the  present 


WHAT’S  IN  A NAME? 


2II 


Colonial  Secretary,  the  Hon.  J.  Stevvart-Lockhart 
(soon,  it  is  hoped,  to  be  Governor),  always  cherished 
a noble  veneration  for  his  memory  ; and,  indeed,  he 
it  was  who,  as  a cadet,  first  introduced  “Old  Ow  ” to 
“ outer  ” barbarian  life. 

‘FULL  OF  STRANGE  OATHS” 

The  principle  of  tabu  has  always  had  a wide  extension 
in  China.  Emperors’  private  names  may  not  be 
uttered  or  printed  ; parents’  ditto  must  be  avoided ; 
and,  generally,  the  whole  system  is  and  has  been 
developed  into  an  occult  art,  according  to  the  tastes 
of  each  dynasty.  But,  apart  from  this,  there  is  also 
the  popular  tabu : mothers  affect  hideous  names  for 
their  children,  such  as  “ cur,”  “ dung,”  and  so  on  ; in 
order  to  throw  the  devils  off  the  scent,  should  they 
wickedly  desire  to  pick  off  attractive  sons.  In  Canton 
the  practice  pervades  the  whole  of  social  and  family 
life;  thus  an  almanac  is  called  (“  generally 

victorious  ”)  instead  of  f ung-shil  (“  general  book  ”), 
because  shii  also  means  “ defeat.” 

One  day  I was  running  through  the  ancient  Odes 
of  Confucius  with  “ Old  Ow,”  when  I asked  him : 
“ What  sort  of  a plant  really  is  the  kot,  of  which 
clothes  arc  made  here  ? ” 

He  said  : “ It  is  popularly  called  the  ‘ solid-hearted 
arrowroot  ’ here  in  Canton,  because  the  word  kot  is  tabu." 

I asked  : “ Why  ? I am  not  aware  of  any  emperor’s 
name  having  that  sound.” 


212 


HUMANITAS 


“ No ; that  is  not  it.  The  Supreme  Court  at 
Hongkong,  is  vulgarly  known  as  the  Tdi  Kot  [Great 
Kot^  or  “ Court  ”],  and  the  criminal  classes  do  not  like 
to  invoke  the  word,  which  they  regard  as  a sort  of 
Themis.  And  there  is  a still  stronger  reason.  When 
foreigners  first  came,  they  were  observed  to  utter  a 
terrible  imprecation  whenever  they  were  enraged.  No 
one  knows  exactly  what  it  means ; but  I am  informed 
that  Kot  t’am  is  the  name  of  an  English  deity,  whose 
wrath  is  called  down  upon  the  heads  of  luckless 
Chinamen  on  the  slightest  provocation.  Not  only 
therefore,  is  the  word  Kot  carefully  avoided,  but  the 
mysterious  combination  Kot  t’am,  or  Kot  Kam  yti  haz, 
is  especially  dreaded.  It  has  even  been  heard  in  the 
British  Consulate,  so  no  doubt  you  know  what  it 
means.  Now,  the  second  of  the  Odes  runs : ‘ Kot  chi 
t'am  hai!'  [“How  the  Dolichos  creeps!”],  and  this 
whole  sentence  has  a tendency  to  be  tabooed  ; more 
especially  the  two  essential  words  Kot  [Dolichos]  and 
and  Vam  [creeps].” 

The  above  explanation  was  given  so  gravely,  and 
with  such  a punctilious  sense  of  truth,  that  I did  not 
enlighten  the  old  man  further  as  to  barbarian  ways. 

The  Chinese  in  their  oaths  have  a decidedly  Spanish 
tendency  ; the  carmnbas,  cai'ajos,  and  harto  de  ajos\ 
which  come  so  readily  to  the  Spanish  tongue,  are  not 
by  any  means  so  innocent  as  they  look.  In  Peking 
objurgations  usually  take  the  form  of  insinuations  about 
your  younger  sister,  or  about  “ turtles’  eggs.”  In 


YOU  LAWYERS  CAN  WITH  EASE”  213 


Canton  the  mother,  or,  in  an  ascending  scale,  both 
the  parents,  or  even  ancestors  to  the  eighteenth  degree, 
have  imaginary  assaults  delivered  at  their  invisible 
anatomy.  Hence  it  is  decidedly  low  for  Europeans 
to  “ swear  in  Chinese.”  The  best  thing  is  to  “ swear 
not  at  all,”  of  course  ; but,  if  swear  you  must,  by  all 
means  stick  to  the  good  old-fashioned  English  “ creep- 
ing Dolichos.” 


A CHINESE  BARRISTER 

No  foreigner  has  ever  yet  succeeded  in  obtaining  a 
Chinese  degree,  nor  is  it  at  all  likely  that  any  one 
has  tried ; but,  as  special  arrangements  are  made  for 
Miao-tsz  and  other  tribes,  it  is  not  improbable  that  a 
European  student  would  be  admitted  if  he  went 
through  the  usual  curriculum.  On  the  other  hand, 
both  Chinese  and  Japanese  have  shown  that  they 
possess  the  requisite  mental  capacity  to  obtain  English 
degrees,  and  to  pass  the  Inns  of  Court  examinations 
for  call  to  the  bar.  When  it  is  considered  that,  in  order 
to  do  this,  the  Oriental  must  have  some  knowledge 
of  Roman  as  well  as  of  English  history,  it  becomes 
evident  that,  besides  mastering  Law,  a Chinese  who 
can  pass  for  call  must  possess  considerable  intellectual 
power. 

One  of  the  students  at  the  Middle  Temple  in  1876 
was  Ng  Choy  (the  Cantonese  way  of  pronouncing 
Wu  Ts'ai).  The  Wu  family  of  Canton,  to  which  it 


214 


PIUMANITAS 


is  almost  certain  Mr.  Wu  must  be  more  or  less  distantly 
related,  is  no  other  than  the  “ Howqua  ” of  old  Co-hong 
days;  and  I suppose  “Howqua”  may  be  a Portuguese 
attempt  to  render  the  syllables  Ng-ka,  or  “ Wu  family.” 
Archdeacon  Gray  several  times  took  me  with  him  to 
see  the  family  mansion.  Mr.  Ng,  after  being  called 
to  the  bar,  returned  to  Hongkong,  where  he  practised 
for  a time  before  the  Supreme  Court  there.  Before 
long  his  services  were  requisitioned  by  Li  Hung-chang 
at  Tientsin,  where  he  remained  for  many  years  as 
legal  adviser,  and  thus  obtained  formal  entrance  into 
the  Chinese  public  service.  He  is  no  other  than  Wu 
T'ing-fang,  the  present  able  Minister  at  Washington. 

I often  found  my.self  at  the  same  table  with  him 
in  “ hall,”  but  I do  not  think  the  subject  of  common 
Chinese  experiences  was  ever  raised.  At  that  time 
he  had  entirely  cut  off  his  “ pigtail,”  presumably  be- 
cause he  then  looked  forward  to  an  English  rather 
than  to  a Chinese  career.  At  the  same  table  there 
occasionally  sat  a very  observant  but  by  no  means 
loquacious  Japanese,  the  late  Mr.  Hoshi  Toru.  Once,  in 
the  absence  of  Ng  Choy,  some  of  the  students  raised  the 
question  what  characters  the  Japanese  used  for  writing 
purposes,  and  doubts  were  thrown  upon  my  suggestion 
that  all  educated  Japanese  could  write  Chinese.  A 
test  was  therefore  resolved  upon,  and  a piece  of  paper 
was  inscribed  with  the  following  sentence — the  first 
in  Confucius’  Analects;  “Is  it  not  a charming  thing 
when  a friend  comes  from  afar  ? ” The  future  states- 


I 


ANCIENT  AND  FISH-LIKE  SMELL 


215 


man  read  the  paper  without  moving  a muscle  of  his 
face,  and,  true  to  his  taciturn  character,  wrote  the 
Chinese  monosyllable  “ which,  curiously  enough, 
in  classical  language  means  “yes.” 

When  a Chinese  becomes  a “ mandarin,”  he  adopts 
an  official  “Christian”  name,  and  T'ing-fang,  or  “hall 
fragrance,”  is  accordingly  the  bureaucratic  designation 
of  Ng  Choy : the  idea  is  that  of  a statesman,  the 
sweet-smelling  savour  of  whose  reputation  “ fills  the 
court.”  As  the  Viceroy  Chang  Chi'-tung  said  of 
Chunghou,  when  he  betrayed  China  to  Russia  : 

If  he  cannot  bequeath  a fragrance  for  ten  centuries, 

At  least  he  can  leave  a stench  for  ten  thousand  years. 


OLD  LU 

This  fine  specimen  of  a Cantonese  bourgeois  gentleman 
was  pensioned  off  by  the  British  Government  about 
1893,  shortly  after  I last  saw  him  ; but  from  time  to 
time  he  wrote  me  a letter  or  two  full  of  sympathy, 
and  reminding  me  of  his  existence,  which,  I trust,  is 
not  yet  a thing  of  the  past.  During  the  Arrow 
lorcha  war  of  1858  he  had  performed  some  confidential 
services  for  Sir  Harry  Parkes,  who,  with  that  loyalty 
to  humbler  colleagues  which  so  distinguished  him 
beyond  others  of  his  rank  who  shall  be  nameless,  took 
steps  to  secure  the  Chinese  writer  in  question  a per- 
manent position.  Sir  Brooke  Robertson  was  also 
staunch  and  loyal  to  the  backbone,  and  would  as  soon 


2i6 


HUMANITAS 


have  slashed  off  his  right  hand  as  cut  the  ground  from 
behind  the  back  of  a fellow  Government  servant ; with 
him  “ Old  Lu  ” was  safe,  and  “ enjoyed  happiness  ” for 
many  years. 

The  punctuality  and  zeal  of  the  old  man — for  old  he 
was  when  he  became  practically  my  vassal  in  1879 — 
were  most  touching.  He  footed  it  all  the  way  from  his 
house  in  the  interior  of  the  city — about  three  miles — 
and  was  never  late ; wet  or  fine,  he  trudged  back  at 
four  o’clock  : at  least,  / nev'er  kept  him  one  minute  after 
four.  He  had  a large  family,  was  as  honest  as  the 
day,  and  could  not  afford  the  luxury  of  a two-bearer 
chair.  Sharp  at  ten  every  morning  he  arrived  with 
his  umbrella,  fan,  and  “ mackintosh,”  puffing  and 
blowing  with  anxiety  and  exertion.  At  Canton  the 
native  gentry  are  in  the  habit  of  purchasing  official 
documents  from  the  yamens,  but  “ Old  Lu  ” was  of  so 
sterling  a kidney  that  I rarely  ventured  even  to  show 
him  such  papers,  though  I knew  he  had  observed 
(more  in  sorrow  than  in  anger)  that  I had  received 
such  from  the  hands  of  a certain  rascally  “ gentleman  ” : 
it  is  the  “custom  of  the  country.” 

“ Old  Lu’s  ” great  anxiety  in  life  was  lest  he 
should  be  superseded.  He  was  quite  competent 
to  do  his  work  in  the  ordinary  humdrum  way  ; 
but  he  was  not  much  of  a scholar,  nor  was  he 
so  rapid  with  his  pen,  or  in  taking  down  from 
dictation  in  the  “ mandarin  ” dialect,  as  was  his 
more  supple  junior,  who  longed  to  supplant  him,  and 


student’s  UP-COUNTRV  retreat.  \To  face  p.  l\(i. 


FATE  NEVER  WOUNDS  MORE  DEEP”  217 


really  did  the  best  part  of  the  work.  Moreover,  the 
senior  man  was  a little  afraid  of  “ Old  Ow,”  a “ dark 
horse  ” he  knew  I kept  in  the  background  as  a private 
teacher.  When  I wanted  any  letter  to  the  Viceroy 
written  in  really  fine  form,  I used  to  get  “ Old  Ow  ” 
to  do  it  for  me  in  secret ; learn  it  off  by  heart ; and 
then  dictate  it  to  “ Old  Lu,”  who  was  lost  in  wonder- 
ment at  my  lore ; but  I thought  it  better  to  be  a 
poseur  for  the  nonce  than  to  wound  the  old  fellow’s 
feelings.  He  did  not  mind  my  “ teaching  ” him,  for 
he  seemed  to  think  that  “ Parker  ” was  only  a confused 
diplomatic  or  muddled  barbarian  form  of  “ Parkes,”  his 
old  patron  ; but  he  did  not  like  to  play  second  fiddle 
to  any  Chinaman. 

“ Old  Lu  ” had  an  objectionable  feature  in  the  eyes, 
or  rather  in  the  nostrils,  of  some  consuls : he  had 
rather  a strong  smell,  and  a very  bad  set  of  teeth, 
which  made  him  sputter  disagreeably  when  he  spoke  ; 
to  use  the  quaint  and  curious  Chinese  expression,  his 
wei-Ui  (=  stomach-vapour)  was  ta  great). 

I parted  with  him  in  1880  in  order  to  go  to  Chung- 
king, three  thousand  miles  away : the  old  fellow  shed 
tears.  He  used  to  write  every  new  year  to  thank  me 
for  what  he  supposed  was  my  “ protection,”  though,  as 
a matter  of  fact,  it  was  impossible  for  me  even  to  try 
to  influence  the  incumbent  for  the  time  being.  In 
1891,  after  prolonged  wanderings,  I had  the  oppor- 
tunity of  looking  in  at  Canton  on  my  way  to  Hainan, 
and  I was  distressed  to  find  that  the  inevitable  had 


2I8 


HUMANITAS 


taken  place  at  last.  “ Old  Lii,”  after  thirty  years  of 
faithful  service,  was  now  No.  2,  and  his  junior  had  been 
placed  over  his  head  ; but,  I think,  without  any  material 
reduction  of  pay.  I noticed  that  of  the  two  seats  at 
the  writing-table,  the  younger  man  occupied  the 
“ superior  ” one  ; and  I asked  explanations.  The  old 
man  turned  his  head  aside,  and  could  scarcely  withhold  | 

a tear  and  a blush  of  shame  as  he  told  me  all  this  ; \ 

but  he  made  no  complaint,  and  said  he  knew  he  was 
a useless  lump  of  flesh,  and  that  he  would  have  “got  ^ 

the  sack  ” altogether  had  it  not  been  for  the  “ influence 

in  Hades”  of  Sir  Brooke  Robertson  and  perhaps 
one  or  two  others.  About  the  end  of  1895  heard  I 
had  retired  from  the  public  service,  and  wrote  to  tell 
me  that  he  also  had  got  his  pension  all  right  from  the 
British  Government.  If  the  British  Government  had 
always  been  as  patiently  served  by  its  native-born  as 
by  its  Chinese  employes,  its  position  in  China  would 
perhaps  have  been  better  than  it  now  is. 


DOCTOR  WONG 

What  would  an  English  lady,  sitting  in  the  boudoir 
upon  her  satin  sofa,  think  if  a pigtailed  Chinaman 
walked  in,  began  to  feel  her  pulse,  put  his  ear  or  even 
his  hand  to  her  heart,  and  then  calmly  ordered  her  to 
loosen  her  dress  or  her  chemise  a little  ? Yet  that  was 
what  Dr.  Wong  did  every  day.  For  many  years  he 
was  the  sole  confidential  medical  adviser  to  at  least  a 


STRANGER  THAN  FICTION 


219 


I dozen  European  ladies,  whose  youngsters,  moreover, 
he  brought  into  the  world.  To  an  outsider  arriving  in 
Canton  he  was  in  no  way  distinguishable  from  the 
ordinary  native  literate,  except  that  he  wore  small  gold 
spectacles  instead  of  the  round,  native-made,  tortoise- 
shell goggles.  The  reason  for  this  state  of  affairs 
was  that  Dr.  Wong  was  (or  was  supposed  _ to  be) 
a Christian,  who  had  taken  his  medical  degree  in 
Edinburgh : there  he  had  studied  under  the  auspices 
of  Dr.  Legge,  whose  influence  at  last  obtained  for  him 
the  official  support  of  the  consuls  at  Canton  : when  I 
first  went  there,  there  was  absolutely  no  other  doctor. 
At  first,  I believe,  he  had  worn  European  clothes  ; and, 
as  he  was  a Pickwickian  little  man,  with  rubicund  face, 
and  honest,  twinkling  eyes,  in  this  garb  he  might 
easily  have  passed  for  a European  ; he  was  the  very 
image  of  the  late  M.  Thiers,  both  in  face  and  size. 
But  tight  European  “ togs  ” are  uncomfortable  in  the 
muggy  climate  of  Canton ; so  he  soon  began  to  “ let 
. his  hair  grow,”  and  to  slily  coil  the  pigtail  inside  his 
‘ hat.  When  his  consulting  practice  was  firmly  assured  ; 
j when  old  Sir  Brooke  Robertson,  his  friend  and  sponsor, 
and  the  ladies  of  the  foreign  community  had  been 
broken  in  to  his  morning  pulse  and  tongue  inspections, 
(they  could  themselves  tolerate  no  clothing  beyond 
a thin  dressing-gown  on  a damp  summer’s  day) ; he 
thought  a nice,  clean  silk  or  grass-cloth  {kof)  robe 
would  set  off  his  figure  just  as  well  as  clammy  ducks 
or  frowsy  alpaca.  The  ice  thus  once  broken,  he  went 


220 


HUMANITAS 


on  to  “drop  his  pigtail,”  put  on  regular  Chinese  un- 
mentionables, carry  a fan  instead  of  a cane,  and  wear 
orthodox  thick  paper  shoes. 

He  was  exceedingly  respected  by  all  Europeans  ; but 
he  did  not  care  much  about  “ society  ” ; which,  in  Canton, 
means  eating  and  drinking  too  much,  wasting  time, 
sweating  in  uncomfortable  clothes,  and  going  to  church  ; 
one  and  all  of  which  Dr.  Wong  (like  myself)  found 
most  dismal  entertainments.  But  I often  went  over  to 
Dr.  Wong’s  “ diggings”  on  the  Honam  side  of  the  river, 
(which  is  locally  called  hoi,  “ the  sea  ”),  and  discussed 
matters  with  him.  He  had  a great  respect  for  surgery, 
of  which  the  Chinese  are  totally  ignorant,  and  he  kept 
up  his  reading  very  well ; but  he  was  no  great  believer 
in  “ medicine,”  except  a few  notorious  specifics,  such  as 
quinine,  mercury,  opium,  iodides,  etc.  ; nor  do  I believe 
that,  in  his  heart  of  hearts,  he  was  a Christian  ; — that 
is,  he  did  not  care  for,  nor  associate  much  with  any 
of  the  missionaries  ; he  did  not  go  to  either  church  or 
chapel  (towards  the  end)  ; nor  did  he  accept  any  man’s 
views  as  to  what  he  ought  to  believe  or  disbelieve. 
Yet  he  was  one  of  the  most  “ Christian  ” men  I ever 
met ; and  in  kindness,  truthfulness,  and  virtue  he  was 
as  good  as  any  average  priest  or  parson  : perhaps 
better. 

He  was  never  married,  and  lived  with  his  sister ; in 
purely  Chinese  style  so  far  as  his  esoteric  arrangements 
(i.e.  all  but  the  surgery)  were  concerned ; destitute  of 
wife  or  concubine  : he  never  drank  or  smoked,  not  even 


WHAT  SAYS  THE  LEECH? 


221 


tobacco  ; he  was  a great  believer  in  Chinese  simples  : 
so  was  I,  and  I always  cured  myself  of  fevers,  sore  eyes, 
chills,  and  such  like  things  by  taking  “ old  women’s  ” 
remedies.  I have  mentioned  an  old  Hakka  woman  at 
\he.  yamen,  who  used  to  cut  the  grass,  feed  the  deer,  and 
bury  Sir  Brooke’s  superannuated  dogs  and  cats : she 
was  a quite  good  enough  “ consulting  physician  ” for 
me ; and  I several  times  accepted  her  prescriptions, 
which  were  approved  by  Dr.  Wong.  Even  Abbd  Hue 
bears  witness  to  the  excellence  of  Chinese  tisanes. 

Well,  at  last,  poor  Wong  developed  a fearful  carbuncle 
on  the  back  of  his  neck,  and  it  carried  him  off.  There 
was  a rush  from  all  sides  for  his  practice  ; but  as  a 
young  American  happened  to  be  on  the  spot,  he  got 
it ; and  so  there  was  an  end,  probably  for  ever,  of 
Chinese  lady-doctors,  or,  rather,  doctors  for  ladies. 

In  connection  with  this  subject  I may  mention  that 
the  Japanese  show  the  highest  aptitude  in  physic ; in 
Corea  I never  even  consulted  any  but  Japanese 
physicians,  though  there  were  plenty  of  Americans, 
naval  and  other.  I once  had  quinsy,  lumbago,  and 
ureteritis,  all  at  once  ; brought  on  by  getting  wet,  in 
thin  clothes,  on  a windy  day  ; but  the  clever  physicians 
Dr.  Tanaka  and  Dr.  Aoki  pulled  me  admirably  through 
all  my  ailments  : their  training  was  German.  The 
Japanese  are  patient,  and  do  not  guess  at  ailments  ; 
they  always  try  to  get  to  the  “ bottom-rock  ” of 
everything. 


222 


HUMANITAS 


THE  CHINESE  LETTER 

There  were  several  teaehers  at  Wenchow,  besides  the 
one  whose  portrait  is  given  here,  but  none  of  them 
were  sympathetic  or  characteristic  enough  to  be  worthy 
of  description.  The  Yangchow  man  was  the  official 
writer,  and  manifestly  an  individual  of  refined  and 
scholarly  temperament ; but  it  was  equally  plain  that 
he  entertained  no  admiration  for  the  barbarian,  nor 
would  he  ever  enter  into  a confidential  conversation, 
except  on  purely  literary  matters : his  attitude  was 
coldly  correct.  The  native  Wenchow  teacher  belonged 
to  the  half-starved,  literary-hack  class,  who  are  too  poor 
to  think  of  anything  beyond  a daily  fill  of  rice  for 
themselves  and  their  brood  of  chicks.  He  knew  all  the 
missionaries,  and  ridiculed  in  a good-humoured  way 
the  efforts  of  all  but  the  Roman  Catholic — an  Italian, 
whom  he  and  all  other  Chinese  (except  Catholic 
converts)  feared  and  hated,  chiefly  because  they  did 
not  understand  the  discipline  and  mystery  of  Catholic 
ways.  The  old  Buddhist  priest  from  the  temple  hard  by 
was  a mediseval  production  : like  nearly  all  Chinamen, 
he  was  shrewd,  and  by  no  means  ignorant  of  the  vices 
of  mankind  ; but  he  was  thoroughly  humble,  honest, 
and  kind-hearted  ; just  (to  excessive  leniency),  and 
willing  to  listen  to  reason  : within  the  narrow  limits 
of  his  mind  and  habits,  I found  him  the  best  instructor 
of  all  : he  was  a sort  of  natural-born  John  Henry 
Newman,  of  coarse  fibre. 


“WOMAN  WILL,  OR  WON’T 


223 


The  Ningpo  man  was  specially  employed  in  order 
to  describe  official  rascalities,  and  to  illustrate  the 
etymological  connection  of  dialects  between  the  north 
and  south  halves  of  Cheh  Kiang.  His  chief  charac- 
teristic was  subtlety,  of  the  cynical  and  unrelenting  kind 
only  conceivable  in  a country  where  it  is  indispensable 
for  a poor  man  to  curry  favour  with  and  to  avoid  offend- 
ing the  great.  We  used  to  read  novels  together,  and  he 
was  wont  to  explain  with  the  most  cold-blooded  pre- 
cision the  various  arts  of  the  harem  hinted  at  therein, 
the  science  of  which  proves  that  neither  Turks  nor 
Frenchmen  are  capable  of  teaching  John  Chinaman 
very  much  in  that  particular  line  ; one  of  the  most 
uncomfortable  of  his  stories  was  how  women  occa- 
sionally got  rid  of  men  by  running  a bristle  deftly 
into  the  navel  of  a sleeping  lover. 

Another  European,  or,  rather,  an  American,  employed 
this  Ningpo  teacher  too ; and  on  the  occasion  of  a riot, 
when  all  the  foreign  houses  were  destroyed  in  one  night 
by  fire,  the  wily  Chinaman  obtained  the  great  oppor- 
tunity of  his  life  to  faire  fortune.  He  sent  in  a claim  for 
about  twelve  suits  of  silk  clothes,  a valuable  library, 
and  various  watches  and  jewels.  His  American 
master  assured  me  that  he  originally  arrived  from 
Ningpo  with  a bundle  weighing  about  two  pounds  in  all, 
and  I myself  had  never  seen  him  wear  more  than  two 
greasy  shifts  : but  his  explanation  was  ingenious  : he 
had  kept  clothes  and  heirlooms  suitable  to  his  rank 
carefully  by,  until  such  time  as  he  could  have  saved 


224 


HUMANITAS 


enough  to  wear  them ; the  valuable  books  of  reference 
were  necessary  in  order  to  hunt  up  the  profound  posers 
with  which  I and  his  other  employer  were  always 
plying  him ; and  he  was  responsible  to  friends  for 
their  value ; his  savings  (in  Hongkong  Bank  notes) 
had  perished  in  the  flames. 

A few  days  after  his  “ list  of  claims  ” had  been 
privately  sent  in  to  me  through  the  American,  I took 
the  rogue  by  surprise,  and  asked  him  to  write  down 
what  he  had  lost.  He  gave  me  a knowing  look  of 
deadly  depth,  and  then  proceeded  to  think.  I said  : 
“ Surely  you  need  not  think  so  long  about  it ; you 
must  know  how  many  pairs  of  trousers  and  coats 
you  had.”  But  he  was  too  much  for  me:  he  managed 
to  recollect  infallibly  all  he  had  written  before ; and 
so,  in  the  absence  of  proof  that  he  was  lying,  I 
passed  his  claim,  which  was  duly  paid.  My  own  boy 
had  the  impudence  to  put  in  a claim  for  one  hundred 
and  twenty  dollars,  for  “ the  first  week’s  refreshments 
supplied  to  the  distressed  missionaries  ” ; but  when  I 
called  him  a scoundrel,  and  told  him  I was  entertaining 
them  at  my  own  expense,  he  said : “ There  is  no  need 
to  be  angry  ; I withdraw  it.  Six  dollars  will  cover  the 
whole.  Of  course  I thought  you  would  send  in  a 
claim,  and  I wanted  to  make  a little  money  out 
of  it  too,  like  the  Ningpo  man.” 

These  little  matters  well  instance  the  difficulty  in 
which  a missionary  is  often  bona  fide  placed.  If  he 
declines  to  assist  his  convert,  who  may  have  suffered 


[To  face  p,  224. 


THREE  POETS  IN  THREE  AGES  BORN”  225 


during  an  attack  upon  the  mission,  he  knows  perfectly 
well  the  mandarins  will  not  do  so  : if  he  does  assist, 
then  he  exposes  himself  to  the  risk  of  aiding  a fraud, 
and  to  the  reproach  of  allowing  rascally  Chinese  to 
avail  themselves  of  his  troubles  in  order  to  obtain 
extortionate  compensation  for  themselves. 


CHINESE  POETRY 

It  is  impossible  to  enter  into  the  soul  of  an  alien  race 
without  gaining  some  slight  insight  into  its  popular 
ballad  literature  and  poetry.  The  following  is  a 
translation,  as  nearly  as  possible  word  for  word,  of  the 
very  first  of  the  ancient  “ classical  ” odes  of  the  Shi 
King,  as  collected  and  classified  by  Confucius.  I trans- 
lated and  published  it  about  twenty-two  years  ago  in 
these  words ; (the  original  consists  of  four  syllables 
to  each  line)  : — 


As  the  osprays  woo 
On  the  river  ait, 

So  the  graceful  lass 
Hath  her  manly  mate. 

As  the  coy  marsh-flowers 
Here  and  there  do  peep, 
So  the  graceful  lass 
In  his  wakeful  sleep. 

But  he  seeks  in  vain, 
Brooding  night  and  day. 
Ah  me  ! Ah  me  ! 

Tossing  rest  away! 


IS 


226 


HUMAN  IT  AS 


As  the  coy  marsh-flower 
Chosen  here  and  there, 

So  the  graceful  lass; 

He’s  in  tune  with  her. 

As  the  coy  marsh-flower 
Gathered  here  and  there, 

So  the  graceful  lass ; 

Bells  now  ring  for  her. 

The  remarkable  part  about  it  is  that  a poem  sung  and 
written  down  between  two  thousand  and  three  thousand 
years  ago  should  be  quite  intelligible,  in  all  dialects, 
at  the  present  day. — At  the  same  time  were  published 
translations  of  about  fifty  other  poems,  not  by  any 
means  all  of  which  it  was  so  easy  to  confine  within  the 
bounds  of  English  rhyme  as  the  above ; but  the 
following  is  a singularly  tender  and  beautiful  ex- 
ception : — 

Thou,  (sweet  and  gentle  lass !) 

Wert  behind  this  wall  to  stay ; 

Eager  to  see  thy  face. 

Have  I fretted  time  away. 

Thou,  (fair  and  gentle  lass !) 

Gav’st  me  this  pretty  pen ; 

Pretty  it  seemed  to  me, 

For  I thought  of  thee  again. 

— And  this  rustic  weed  she  brought!— 

Precious  art  thou,  and  fair! 

Loveliness,  true,  not  thine, 

Yet  lovely  because  of  her! 

But  perhaps  the  most  touching  of  all  is  an  historical 
poem  composed  over  two  thousand  years  ago  by  a 


PITY  TIS,  TIS  TRUE 


227 


Chinese  girl  of  rank,  who  had  been  given  in  marriage, 
for  political  purposes,  to  a toothless  old  Tartar  king 
in  the  region  of  modern  Hi.  I introduced  it  to  the 
notice  of  the  public  about  seven  years  ago,  in  the 
shape  of  a “ text  ” to  an  Essay  upon  Chinese  Philology 
{Giles'  Dictionary) ; but  it  has  been  reserved  to  a 
sympathetic  German  fellow-student  in  the  sinological 
field  to  render  it  into  a language  perhaps  more  apt 
even  than  the  English  to  express  sentimental  feeling. 
With  great  ingenuity  the  skilful  translator  has  given, 
not  only  a translation,  almost  word  for  word,  but  even 
(as  nearly  as  possible)  the  same  number  and  order  of 
syllables  for  each  verse  as  in  the  original  : — 

Mein  Geschlecht  hat  mich 
Ach!  vermahlt, 

Mich  geschickt,  weit,  weit  1 
In  die  Welt. 

In  dem  fernen  Land 
Der  Wu-stm, 

Ach  ! des  Konig's  Weib 
Bin  ich  nun. 

Ach  ! in  einem  Zelt 
Wohn’  ich  jetzt, 

Und  die  Hauswand,  Filz 
Mir  ersetzt. 

Meine  Speise  ist 
Fleisch  allein, 

Kumyss  schenkt  dazu 
Man  mir  ein. 

Ach  ! es  brennt  mein  Herz 
Seit  ich  hier! 

Mir  der  Heimath  denkt’s 
Fiir  und  fiir. 


228 


HUMANITAS 


Gelber  Kranich  sein 
Mocht  ich  gleich, 

Flog’  dann  schnell  zuriick 
In  mein  Reich. 

The  English  might  run  : — 

My  folk  have  wedded  me, 

Here,  toward 

The  ends  of  the  world,  to  a 
Tartar  lord. 

A tent  is  my  mansion  and 
Felt  its  wall, 

Milk  to  drink,  flesh  to  eat; 

This  is  all. 

Ah ! but  ’tis  sad  to  dwell 
Here  alone  ; 

Would  I were  winged  to  fly 
Back  to  home ! 

In  the  original  Chinese  there  are  only  twelve  lines, 
each  line  containing  alternately  five  or  three  mono- 
syllables. It  will  thus  be  seen  that  the  English 
language  is,  after  all,  the  one  which  can  best  imitate 
the  terse  composition  of  the  forlorn  maiden,  which 
requires  doubling  in  bulk  for  expression  in  intelligible 
German  : but  neither  of  the  two  can  adequately  express 
the  simple  vigour  of  the  Chinese. 


CHAPTER  XI 
ARMY  AND  NAVY 
THE  CHINESE  ARMY 

IN  the  winter  of  1870  three  of  us  were  returning 
south  in  a sleet-storm  one  evening,  after  some 
weeks’  travel  on  horseback  in  the  region  of  the  Great 
Wall ; we  were  making  for  a town  called  Shih-hiah, 
one  day’s  journey  from  the  well-known  Kupch  K'ou 
Pass,  in  the  neighbourhood  of  the  Eastern  Tombs ; 
drenched,  sullen,  and  miserable.  A jingle  of  bells 
advancing  caused  us  to  look  up,  and  there  was  a 
comfortable-looking  little  barber,  wearing  a pork-pie 
hat  and  carrying  his  brass  basin,  jauntily  urging  on  his 
sleek  donkey  at  full  speed.  He  shook  his  open  hand 
in  such  a cheerful  way  as  he  shouted : “ There’s  not  a 
single  place  to  be  had,”  that  one  of  my  companions 
growled  ; “ I’d  like  to  screw  the  fellow’s  neck  round.” 
When  we  reached  the  outskirts  of  the  town,  we 
were  rather  rudely  accosted  by  some  soldiers  ; as  we 
advanced,  they  increased  in  numbers,  grew  threatening, 
and  used  insolent  language.  It  seemed,  from  what  the 
innkeepers  told  us,  that  five  thousand  men  had  arrived 


229 


230 


ARMY  AND  NAVY 


that  day  in  connection  with  some  Russian  scare  far 
away  towards  the  north,  and  in  quartering  themselves 
upon  the  town  they  had  occupied  every  nook  and 
corner  of  each  available  room  in  it. 

Our  plight  was  indeed  a wretched  and  hopeless 
one,  especially  when,  in  approaching  an  enclosure 
bedecked  with  lamps  and  flags,  we  overheard  the 
words  “ General  Ch'ang,”  and  perceived,  from  the 
haughty  bearing  of  the  guards,  that  we  were  now  at 
the  entrance  to  the  j/a  (headquarters).  Suddenly  an 
inspiration  came  over  me,  and  a desperate  resolve  seems 
to  have  formed  itself  without  any  conscious  cerebration. 
I turned  my  horse’s  head  straight  into  the  gateway, 
shouting  out : “ Conduct  me  instantly  to  his  Excellency 
Ch'ang : we  have  documents  issued  by  Prince  Rung 
in  our  possession,  and  the  man  who  insults  the 
Imperial  seal  had  better  look  out  for  his  head.” 

This  “ tall  order  ” had  at  least  the  effect  of  temporarily 
dispersing  the  soldiers,  who  were  now  angrily  pulling 
at  the  bridle  to  jostle  me  back ; and  soon  a sub-officer 
came  quietly  but  dubiously  forward  to  parley.  However, 
1 protested  the  “ case  ” w'as  so  serious  that  General 
Ch'ang  in  person  must  explain  the  insulting  attitude 
of  his  men  ; so,  after  a wrangle  outside  the  tent  or 
shed  (we  could  not  see  through  the  darkness  very 
clearly)  in  which  the  commander  was  taking  his  ease, 
I was  admitted  individually,  the  other  two  remaining 
outside  in  the  wet. 

Ushered  into  a small  anteroom,  I there  had  a 


FOR  THIS  RELIEF  MUCH  THANKS”  231 


second  wrangle  with  the  clerks  or  secretaries,  and  had 
to  exhibit  my  papers — simply  a huge  passport  issued 
by  Prince  Kung  as  head  of  the  Foreign  Office.  This 
was  taken  in,  and  the  three  names  we  then  used.  Pa 
(Parker),  Pu  (Bullock),  and  Kia  (Gardner),  seem  to  have 
at  once  exercised  some  unexplained  effect  upon  the 
old  general ; for,  on  my  half  forcing  and  half  protesting 
my  way  into  his  sanctum,  in  feigned  indignation  at 
this  discourtesy  of  his  to  officials  of  rank  and  position, 
he  came  towards  me  with  a delighted  air,  taking  both 
my  hands  in  his.  He  styled  me  “ General  Pa,”  and 
said  how  charmed  he  was  to  meet  me  again. 

Not  in  the  least  understanding  this  unexpected  move- 
hient,  I suggested  to  him  that  as  Generals  Pu  and  Kia 
were  out  in  the  rain  and  the  cold,  I could  not  well  accept 
his  hospitality  until  they  should  have  been  admitted  too. 
They  received  from  me  as  they  entered  a hasty  hint 
to  “follow  the  leader”  in  their  conversation  ; and, then 
we  all  sat  down  in  a nice  warm  room  over  pipes  and 
tea,  to  chat  over  our  former  joint  military  operations 
or  frontier  delimitations  in  the  north.  Everything 
went  off  without  a hitch,  and  we  all  grew  enthusiastic, 
and  even  jolly.  We  never  succeeded  in  finding  out 
what  it  all  meant ; but  we  wanted  lodgings,  and 
General  Ch'ang  soon  got  them  for  us.  That  was  the 
main  point.  Apparently  he  mistook  us  for  some 
Russian  officers  he  had  once  met ; and,  as  the  circum- 
stances were  very  urgent  for  us,  we  did  not  think  it 
necessary  to  disabuse  him. 


232 


ARMY  AND  NAVY 


A WARRIOR  IN  TROUBLE 

At  the  best  of  valuations  Chinese  military  officers 
are  always  regarded  by  civilian  mandarins  with  that 
mixture  of  awe  and  contempt  which  we  accord  to 
professional  pugilists,  and  all  the  more  so  because  the 
bravest  of  them  are  wont  to  have  been  dangerous 
rebels,  who  have  turned  “ king’s  evidence,”  or  have  been 
bought  over ; for  instance,  Lao  Vinh-phuc,  the  ex- 
Black  Flag,  now  the  military  mainstay  of  Canton,  is 
one  of  that  ilk.  Matters  have  become  worse  since 
i860  by  the  sale  of  office,  the  dearth  of  substantive 
promotions,  and  the  superfluity  of  officers  stranded  after 
the  recent  wars  and  rebellions.  Hence  it  is  not  un- 
common for  a man  in  charge  of  a corporal’s  guard  to 
have  colonel’s  brevet  rank,  or  for  a gunboat  captain 
to  be  a provincial-general  in  theory.  My  own  servant 
was  once  offered  a colonelcy,  simply  because  he  stood 
well  up  in  his  shoes ; and  my  learned  friend  Dr.  Hirth 
accidentally  discovered  that  his  “ horse-boy  ” was  a 
major.  Hence  the  point  of  the  following  story  will 
not  be  so  completely  lost  as  if  I had  not  “ opened  up 
my  thesis  ” (as  the  Chinese  essay-writers  say)  in  the 
above  way. 

One  stifling  autumn  day  a card  was  brought  to  me 
in  my  office,  and  I was  informed  that  “ the  General 
of  Yun  Nan”  had  something  important  to  say.  A 
common-looking  individual,  more  like  a tailor  than  a 
warrior,  was  duly  ushered  in,  and,  of  course,  gradually 


OUTRUN  THE  CONSTABLE  AT  LAST”  233 


brought  his  subject  round  to  “ borrowing  money,” — as 
nearly  all  Chinese  seem  to  do  when  they  call  to  pay 
compliments  to  a stranger.  It  is  useless  to  argue  with 
people  who  invent  lies  to  meet  every  objection,  so  I 
simply  said  : “ Will  you  kindly  take  a seat  in  the  next 
room,  and  I will  give  you  a letter  to  the  hien  ? ” 
(The  hien  pays  piper  for  all  seniors  who  “ subscribe.”) 
I then  wrote  in  the  consul’s  name  ; “ I presume  this 
man  is  a genuine  general,  as  he  shows  his  papers  ; 
but,  if  so,  it  is  evident  that  the  Chinese  authorities  of 
Canton  should  themselves  get  up  a subscription  for 
him  ; that  is  to  say,  if  one  of  the  Emperor’s  military 
officers  is  positively  short  of  cash : the  British  Consulate 
has  really  nothing  to  do  with  such  matters.” 

Nothing  more  was  heard  of  the  case  for  some  weeks  : 
it  had  been  forgotten  ; when  one  day  a petition  was 
placed  in  my  hands  : it  was  from  the  gallant  general, 
who  was  “ doing  time  ” in  the  hien's  prison,  and  entreated 
the  consul  “ for  his  old  mother’s  sake  ” to  get  him  out. 
It  was  not  difficult  to  do  this,  and  we  did  it:  but  what 
puzzled  me,  and  what  was  never  explained,  was  how 
a mere  father-and-mother  mandarin  of  low  rank  could 
presume  to  imprison  a man  with  a red  button.  Not 
only  a hien  is,  but  even  his  superiors  are  very  careful 
not  to  make  a literary  man  kneel,  or  to  humiliate  him 
in  any  way  ; at  least  until  the  formality  of  “ removing 
his  button  ” shall  have  been  gone  through  by  the 
viceroy  or  the  governor. 

The  man  was  really  a common  soldier,  or  at  the 


234 


ARMY  AND  NAVY 


most  a corporal  or  sergeant ; apparently  brevet  titles 
had  been  scattered  broadcast  during  the  Panthay  wars, 
just  as  the  receipts  and  bonds  for  supplies  to  the  Yun 
Nan  army  were  regarded  at  Canton  as  waste  paper  : 
one  man,  indeed,  tried  to  get  the  British  Consulate 
to  “collect”  such  a bond.  I was  horrified  when  the 
skeleton  of  the  unfortunate  general  came  to  thank  me 
for  my  “ kindness.”  I felt  very  sorry  for  having  been 
the  real  cause  of  his  misery,  and  as  a penalty  for  my 
offence  presented  him  with  five  dollars  out  of  my  own 
pocket,  in  order  that  he  might  hie  himself  back  at 
least  part  of  the  way  to  Yun  Nan  ; and  to  his  “owloo  ” 
mother. 


A GALLANT  ADMIRAL 

In  these  unpretending  character  pourtrayals  I do 
not  aim  so  much  at  sketching  Chinese  idiosyncracies 
upon  general  lines,  as  at  giving  definite  facts  as  they 
occurred,  before  my  own  eyes,  in  connection  with 
specific  individuals ; hence  I sum  up  for  the  jury  as 
rarely  and  as  little  as  I can,  leaving  that  useful  body 
(public  opinion)  to  form  its  own  verdict,  subject  to 
the  indispensable  “ directions  ” on  points  of  law  and 
practice  which  are  rightly  reserved  to  the  ermine. 
But  Admiral  Ho  Tsin-shen  of  Ichang  was  so  ex- 
ceptionally loyal,  popular,  efficient,  and  agreeable  a 
mandarin  that  I really  must  “ spread  myself  out  ” a 
little  upon  Hu  Nan  men  in  general,  of  whom  he  was 
one.  As  he  himself  said  to  me,  when  I enthusiastically 


PILLARS  OF  THE  STATE” 


235 


praised  him  straight  to  his  jolly  fat  face  : “ Hu  Nan  jen 
pu-p’a-ss''  which  runs  best  naturally,  word  for  word, 
into  “pidjin,”  as  “Hu  Nan  man  no  fear  die.”  It  is 
true.  There  is  an  indescribable  something  in  the 
Hu  Nan  character  which  differentiates  it  from  all  other 
Chinese  local  character.  The  majority  of  both  civil  and 
military  officials  throughout  the  Empire  are  Hu  Nan 
men,  and,  speaking  generally,  no  mean  action  ever 
comes  from  Hu  Nan : Hu-nani  nihil  a me  alienuin 
puto.  That  may  seem  rather  a sweeping  statement 
for  a province  which  has  always  (up  to  very 
recently)  been  implacably  anti-Christian  ; but  how 
pleasant  to  add  that,  since  a few  really  patient  and 
considerate  missionaries,  like  Griffith  John,  have  quietly 
proved  their  disinterestedness  to  the  Hu  Nan  people, 
there  is  now  no  part  of  China  where  prospects  are 
more  hopeful ! — that  is,  so  long  as  religion  is  tolerant 
and  human.  I feel  convinced  Hu  Nan  will  never  be 
a successful  Roman  Catholic  field.  We  must  not 
confuse  an  essentially  truthful  and  loyal  mind  which 
occasionally  errs,  with  the  contrary  class  of  mind 
which  preserves,  or  tries  to  preserve,  an  impeccable 
attitude.  The  Hu  Nan  mind  is  honest,  and  the 
body  is  honest  too  ; the  people  are  poor  and 
durable,  like  their  native  homespun  ; the  dialects  are 
so  rough  that  it  is  not  easy  to  be  intimate — 
possibly  for  that  reason  there  is  a certain  Scotch 
clannishness  : any  way,  as  a rule  Hu  Nan  bodies  of 
men  (soldiers,  etc.)  must  be  commanded  by  officers 


236 


ARMY  AND  NAVY 


of  their  own  province ; outsiders  can  never  be  “ in  ” 
with  them  unless  they  learn  the  dialects.  The 
province  has  never,  I think,  been  conquered  ; has  never 
furnished  a dynasty,  or  set  up  in  rebellion,  or  been 
the  head  of  a separate  empire  : it  is  as  virgin  as 
the  temperament  of  its  inhabitants.  Such  fine  men 
as  Tseng  Kwoh-fan,  P'eng  Yiih-lin,  Tso  Tsung-t'ang, 
and  Liu  K'un-yih  could  only  hail  from  Hu  Nan. 

Admiral  Ho  “sat”  for  many  years  as  Brigadier- 
General  of  the  Ichang  division  ; but  his  chief  service 
to  the  public  at  large  was  done  in  connection  with 
the  navigation  of  the  gorges  and  the  rapids  ; he  also 
had  under  him  a very  efficient  life-saving  “ navy,” 
locally  called  “ red  boats.”  One  of  these  accompanied 
me  most  of  the  way  up  river ; and  one  is  stationed 
at  every  dangerous  spot,  in  order  to  render  gratuitous 
assistance  to  any  and  every  person.  If  (as  daily 
happens)  a cargo-junk  breaks  adrift,  gets  into  a 
whirlpool,  or  snaps  her  rope  above  a rock,  out  flies 
a red  boat  like  a spider  from  some  concealed  nook, 
and  with  a few  sweeps  of  her  powerful  oars  is  on 
the  spot  within  a few  seconds  to  seize  on  (and  save, 
not  devour)  the  poor  struggling  flies. 

I exchanged  visits  with  Admiral  Ho,  and  we  had 
lunch  and  “ drinks  ” together.  He  was  not  in  the 
faintest  degree  blatant  or  boastful,  but  he  told  me  of 
his  work,  and  of  the  pleasure  he  felt  in  his  usefulness. 
He  was  personally  acquainted  with  “ every  inch  ” of 
the  rapids,  and  had  published  an  Itinerary,  giving  full 


THE  LAW  OF  MEDES  AND  PERSIANS”  237 


particulars  touching  every  rock,  eddy,  race,  whirlpool, 
and  danger  for  two  hundred  miles.  This  I translated 
and  published  (in  substance)  twenty  years  ago : it  forms 
the  basis  of  all  our  earliest  European  notions  about  the 
“navigation  of  the  rapids.” 

Admiral  Ho’s  men  were  as  loyal  and  hearty  as 
himself,  and  made  my  journey  upwards  a keen 
pleasure  throughout.  A few  years  later  he  “ went 
back  ” to  his  original  family  of  Lo,  his  services  being 
required  in  connection  with  the  operation  of  what  the 
Chinese  call  “ borrowing  a cock  for  eggs,” — i.e.  adopt- 
ing and  readopting ; or,  if  necessary,  marrying  two 
women  and  founding  two  separate  families.  As 
Chang-erh  put  it : “ One  lamp  lights  two  bedrooms.” 


A SOLDIER  OF  THE  OLD  SCHOOL 

T'ien  Tsai-tTen  (“Fields  within  fields”)  was  a 
native  of  Shan  Tung,  and  occupied  the  important 
post  of  Chungking  Brigadier  when  I was  there  in 
1 880- 1.  The  then  Viceroy  of  Canton,  Chang  Shu- 
sheng,  had  been  an  old  comrade-in-arms,  and  so  soon 
as  he  heard  I was  going  to  Sz  Ch'wan,  he  volunteered 
to  give  me  a letter  of  introduction  to  T'ien,  which 
civility  secured  me  many  succulent  Chinese  dinners  and 
merry  friends.  Brigadier  T'ien  appeared  to  be  a man 
of  fifty-five  years,  but,  being  a heavy  opium-smoker 
and  emaciated,  he  might  have  seen  fewer.  In  1859  he 
had  already  been  Brigadier  of  T'ai-yiian  Fu  in  Shan  Si, 


238  ARMY  AND  NAVY 

whence  he  was  ordered  off  to  Yun  Nan  to  assist  in 

quelling  the  Mussulman  revolt.  He  did  not  go,  how- 

ever, but  served  during  the  next  two  years  against 
the  northern  branch  of  the  Taiping  rebels,  known  as 

the  Nien  Fei.  One  of  his  fellow-officers  engaged  on 

this  duty  was  the  Judge  Wu  T'ang,  afterwards  for 
many  years  Viceroy  of  Sz  Ch'wan  : in  i86i  they 
both  gained  great  credit  through  achieving  the  relief 
of  Suh  Chou  in  North  An  Hwei,  a spot  which  from 
2CXD  B.C.  to  A.D.  1900  has  always  been  a point  de 
f'epaire  for  rebels  of  the  “ Boxer  ” type. 

I used  to  go  about  once  a month  to  little  tete-a-tete 
dinners  with  T'ien  Tsai-t'ien  in  his  own  yamm\  his 
wife  and  daughters  were  allowed  to  giggle  behind  a 
screen,  but  he  never  accorded  me  a glance  at  their 
“ coy  and  furtive  graces”  ; nor  did  they.  In  the  middle 
of  dinner  he  always  used  to  “ ask  leave  ” for  about 
twenty  minutes  in  order  to  fortify  himself  with  a 
smoke,  in  which  solace  his  wife  heartily  joined ; 
besides  that  they  smoked  all  night  together,  and  rose 
in  the  afternoon.  I used  to  employ  these  odd 
moments  between  courses  by  “ coughing  ” and  other- 
wise “ carrying  on  ” with  the  mysterious  persons 
behind  the  screen  ; but  of  course  in  strict  propriety, 
and  following  the  laws  of  the  game, — i.e.  never  rising 
from  my  seat  in  order  to  peep. 

The  military  feebleness  of  the  gallant  brigadier 
was  as  striking  as  his  civil  behaviour.  He  made  no 
secret  of  the  fact  that  he  was  “ enjoying  happiness  ” 


THE  BLOOD  OF  ALL  THE  HOWARDS”  239 


as  a reward  for  past  hardships.  He  peculated  more 
than  half  the  pay  allowed  for  his  legions,  which 
existed  to  so  very  nebulous  an  extent  that,  on 
the  memorable  occasion  when  I was  attacked  by 
the  populace,  I did  not  even  send  word  to  him  ; but 
called  upon  the  magistrate  (a  doughty  Mongol)  to  come 
in  person  with  his  effective  police.  After  the  “ row  ” 
was  over.  Brigadier  T'ien,  as  the  official  of  highest 
rank,  was  chairman  at  a consolatory  banquet  given 
to  me  by  all  the  civil  and  military  officials  (at 
the  Mongol  hien's  expense).  It  was  exceedingly  hot ; 
and  so,  after  greetings  had  been  exchanged  between 
all  the  guests  in  full  uniform,  he  and  the  taotai  proposed 
that  the  company  should  sit  barebacked,  with  nothing 
but  our  trousers  on.  (I  may  mention  that  even 
princes  do  this  at  Peking  in  the  summer  time.)  I was 
unable  to  yield  to  these  blandishments  beyond  the 
limit  of  the  singlet ; and  so  they,  to  accommodate 
my  modesty,  did  not  strip  beyond  their  very  grimy 
cotton  shirts.  On  this  occasion  my  “ boy  ” was  invited, 
two  days  before  the  feast,  to  cook  a foreign  dish ; 
but  he  resisted  so  violently  that  I could  not  help 
suspecting  some  chinoiserie  behind  his  indignation  : 
it  transpired  that  “ if  you  happen  to  take  something 
that  disagrees  with  you,  they  will  say  I did  it.”  I 
must  confess  the  idea  of  poison  had  independently 
struck  me  too  ; but  I felt  confident  (not  in  their  virtue, 
but)  that  under  the  circumstances  it  would  not  pay 
my  hosts  to  get  rid  of  me  in  that  way  ; moreover,  I 


240 


ARMY  AND  NAVY 


had  not  been  in  any  way  “ nasty,”  and  Chinese  officials 
will  not  injure  you  so  long  as  you  are  genial.  The 
Brigadier-General  opened  the  feast  by  pledging  me  in 
a cup  of  “ almond  tea,” — enough  to  poison  a Quakers’ 
party : but  I drained  it  off  at  one  breath. 

I chiefly  remember  T'ien  Tsai-t'ien  on  account  of 
some  scientific  information  he  gave  me  about  Norfolk- 
Howards.  I was  relating  how  curious  it  was  that 
my  curtains  were  always  covered  with  them  in  the 
inns,  but  that  they  never  touched  me.  He  said  : 
“ Don’t  you  know  the  best  way  to  deal  with  them  ? 
I always  sleep  barebacked,  and  they  don’t  like  being 
either  on  or  under  the  coverlet ; so,  when  I feel  that 
two  or  three  are  gathering  in  a convenient  part  of  my 
shoulder,  by  an  ingenious  twist  I just  get  them  on  the 
corner  of  the  pillow  and  crush  them  without  having  to 
get  up,  leaving  them  to  dry  there  in  a cake.”  The 
Chinese  pillow  is  a hard  affair,  constructed  out  of 
bamboo  or  wood,  covered  with  oil-silk  ; the  neck  of 
the  sleeper  (not  the  head)  rests  on  the  smooth  shank, 
and  the  two  ends  spread  out  so  that  the  pillow  stands 
on  the  four  hard  points  whichever  way  you  turn  it : 
hence  Then’s  shrewd  scheme. 

THE  CHINESE  NAVY 

Admiral  Lang  was  just  succeeding  nicely  in  his 
arduous  and  self-sacrificing  task  of  instilling  ideas  of 
discipline  into  the  new  and  costly  Chinese  navy,  re- 
organised under  the  superintendence  of  the  Emperor’s 


THY  HABIT 


RICH,  NOT  GAUDY”  241 


father  (died  1891),  when  by  a stupid  insult  from  one 
of  his  captains  on  cruise,  weakly  countenanced  by 
the  vacillating  Li  Hung-chang,  the  connection  was 
summarily  cut  short,  and  the  gallant  officer  declined, 
in  the  absence  of  apology,  to  continue  longer  in  Chinese 
employ  than  was  absolutely  necessary  to  bring  the 
cruise  to  an  end.  Admiral  Ting  (a  mere  dummy)  and 
Admiral  Lang  were  joint  “ admiral  in  command,”  for  the 
purposes  of  the  Singapore  cruise ; but  when  Admiral 
Ting  left  Hongkong  for  a short  run  to  Hoihow 
(taking  the  opportunity  to  run  aground  and  damage 
his  ship  there),  the  next  Chinese  captain  in  command 
at  Hongkong  hauled  down  the  Admiral’s  flag,  and 
had  the  impudence  to  hoist  his  own  as  “ senior 
officer  remaining  in  the  Admiral’s  absence  ” ; thus 
ignoring  the  seniority  of  his  own  instructor,  and  the 
participation  of  the  second  flesh  in  the  one  and  in- 
divisible substance. 

However,  1 knew  nothing  of  these  matters  then : all 
I knew  was  that  my  friend  Admiral  Ting,  whom  I had 
last  seen  on  July  4,  1885,  at  Chemulpho,  had  turned  up 
at  Pagoda  Anchorage  with  half  a dozen  brave  ironclads. 
Knowing  also  that  Admiral  Lang  was  engaged  in 
working  up  the  fleet  into  shape  and  discipline,  and 
would  therefore  at  once  detect  any  flaws  in  my 
irregular  “uniform,”  I decided  to  utilise  a tall  hat  I 
had  just  brought  out  from  England,  and  to  go  on 
board  in  “ semi-state,”  or  “ Hyde  Park  costume.” 

Off  the  gig  went  in  fine  style,  the  boatmen  in 

16 


242 


ARMY  AND  NAVY 


their  well-washed  uniforms  and  fine,  broad-brimmed 
straw  hats,  edged  with  blue,  and  each  with  a little 
Union  Jack  sewn  on  to  it.  The  human  apparition  in 
the  tall  hat  sat  in  the  stern-sheets,  and  handled  the 
ropes  with  that  deftness  born  of  long  local  practice ; 
and  so  at  last  we  came  smartly  alongside.  Never, 
I believe,  in  the  history  of  Pagoda  Anchorage  had 
a tall  silk  hat  been  seen  before ; never,  certainly,  had 
one  been  seen  in  a gig  on  official  visits  bent.  As  we 
neared  the  right  ironclad  (having  first  gone  to  the 
wrong  one),  I noticed  the  two  deck-officers  spying 
out  with  their  telescopes  the  curious  object  sitting  in 
the  stern.  When  I stepped  on  to  the  quarter-deck 
and  saluted,  the  lieutenant  once  more  scanned  the  hat, 
closely  examined  the  card,  and  asked,  in  reply  to 
my  query  ; “ Is  the  Admiral  on  board  ? ” : “ Which 
Admiral  ? ” 

I said : “ Whichever  is  on  board.” 

He  said  ; “ Well,  neither  is  on  board.  May  I ask 
who  you  are  ? ” 

I replied  : “ There  is  my  flag.” 

“ What  is  your  rank  ? I wish  to  fire  a salute.” 

“ Oh  ! not  at  all.  Our  men-of-war  seldom  salute  in 
port ; besides,  you  see,  I have  not  come  in  uniform.” 

He  looked  at  the  hat  once  more,  and  having  hurriedly 
consulted  what  looked  like  either  a flag-book  or  a 
hand-book,  repeated  : “ Certainly,  I must  fire  a salute.” 
As  I shuffled  down,  somewhat  doubtfully,  if  not 
abjectly,  into  the  gig,  a piping  began  : I heard 


“FROM  LIVELY  TO  SEVERE 


243 


scamperings  of  feet,  and  noticed  the  quartermaster 
fumbling  at  his  halyards.  Under  these  circumstances, 

I thought  I had  better  “ easy  oars,”  so  as  not  to 
reach  the  wharf  before  the  guns  went  off,  if  he  was 
resolved  to  let  them  off ; at  the  same  time  placing 
the  gig  out  of  the  line  of  fire,  lest  the  “dreadful 
engines  ” should  be  loaded  by  mistake  with  shot  or 
shell.  But  for  some  unexplained  reason  the  guns  never 
did  go  off  after  all. 

“What  are  they  doing.  Jack?”  I asked  (too  proud 
to  look  back). 

“No  makey  nuffin,  massa,”  replied  honest  Jack. 

“ Then  go  ahead  ! ” And  dejectedly  we  betook  us 
home. 

The  next  day  (Sunday)  the  gallant  Captain  Pocock 
(afterwards  murdered)  and  myself  were  privately 
“ tiffining  ” with  Admiral  Lang ; in  mufti,  of  course  ; 
and  I told  the  above  story  by  way  of  capping  others  of 
the  same  kind  related  by  him.  But  Admiral  Lang 
took  the  matter  seriously,  and  announced  his  intention 
of  teaching  the  deck-officers  a lesson.  Orders  were 
given  to  get  the  saluting  guns  ready  at  once  “ for 
the  British  Consul.”  We  had  nothing  to  go  off  in 
but  a dirty  old  Chinese  sampan,  without  a flag  of 
any  kind  ; and  we  were  both  dressed  in  common 
tweed  suits.  However,  as  we  stepped  in,  up  went 
the  signal : “ Hoist  the  Union  Jack.”  The  sampan 
wabbled  off,  we  two  steadying  ourselves,  as  we  re- 
spectfully stood  up,  against  the  mat  roofing  of  Captain 


244 


ARMY  AND  NAVY 


Pocock’s  hired  craft ; and  thus  I received  the  belated 
honour  of  seven  guns  on  a Sunday  afternoon. 

It  was  probably  this  stupid  treatment  of  Admiral 
Lang  by  the  supercilious  Chinese  that  subsequently 
delivered  their  fleet  indirectly  into  Japanese  hands. 


AN  INSTIGATOR  OF  REBELLION 

On  one  occasion  subsequent  to  the  British  occupation 
of  Bhamo,  a sudden  rush  was  stated  to  have  been  made 
on  that  place  by  the  Chinese ; but  as  I was  not  there 
at  the  time,  I merely  allude  to  the  fact,  or  the  tradition, 
as  showing  that  such  a risk  was  contemplated,  and 
guarded  against  as  being  always  possible. 

One  day  my  Chinese  t'ing-cJi  ai  approached  me  very 
mysteriously,  and  said  in  a whisper  that  certain  news 
had  reached  his  ears  to  the  effect  that  a Burmese 
fugitive  pretender  had  commissioned  a Chinese  soldier 
to  carry  the  princely  seal  over  the  frontier  and  levy 
troops  in  the  vicinity  of  Bhamo,  in  order  to  stir  up 
revolt.  He  was  so  very  anxious  that  I,  too,  should 
speak  in  a whisper,  that  I naturally  enquired  what 
immediate  danger  there  was  to  me.  He  then  made 
the  uncomfortable  announcement  that  the  soldier  in 
question  was  actually  in  my  own  house  at  that  moment, 
and  that  he  had  obtained  nominal  employment  there 
as  cook  to  my  writer.  The  V ing-cli  ai's,  suspicions  had 
first  been  aroused  by  the  soldier’s  asking  in  a round- 
about but  persistently  “ casual  ” way  in  which  corner  of 


THE  BRITISH  CA.Ml'  AT  BHAMO.  [7'o /««/>.  244- 


AM  I MY  BROTHER’S  KEEPER?”  245 


the  room  I slept,  and  whether  I was  always  armed. 
By  degrees  the  above  information  was  wormed  out  of 
the  man  in  a thoroughly  Chinese  way, — carefully 
described  to  me,  but  unnecessary  and  tedious  to  relate 
here  at  length.  The  writer  was  pronounced  by  my 
informant  quite  innocent  of  collusion,  and  the  soldier’s 
motive  in  ascertaining  all  about  me  was  stated  to  be 
the  desire  to  prevent  me,  as  the  only  official  person 
likely  to  detect  the  plot,  from  fixing  responsibility 
upon  the  Chinese  abettors.  It  was  also  suggested 
that  he  wanted  revenge  for  the  surrender  of  his  comrade 
the  murderer,  {vide  p.  142). 

Several  days  elapsed  before  it  was  possible  to  effect 
the  man’s  arrest  in  legal  form,  and  meanwhile  my 
head  rested  rather  uneasily  o’  nights  upon  its  pillow. 

I Nothing  of  a compromising  nature  was  found  on  the 
man’s  person  ; but  it  accidentally  turned  out  that  he 
I had  been  shadowed  on  several  occasions  to  a Chinese 
I barber’s  shop ; that,  however,  was  not  considered  very 
j important  by  the  idng-cli  ai.  But  I thought  differently. 
This  barber  was  at  once  requested  to  come  and  cut 
my  hair  ; and  as  he  jauntily  walked  in,  armed  with 
his  tonsorial  implements,  I suddenly  clutched  him 
by  the  collar,  and  asked  : “ Where’s  that  seal  ? ” Of 
course  he  pretended  to  be  totally  ignorant  of  what  I 
was  talking  about ; but  when  he  saw  the  f ing-cJd ai 
grimly  eying  him,  and  heard  of  the  soldier’s  arrest ; 

' when  he  was,  moreover,  informed  that  his  shop  was 
going  to  be  searched,  he  at  last  decided,  after  a long 


246 


ARMY  AND  NAVY 


series  of  attempts  at  denial,  to  admit  the  fact  that  the 
soldier  had  one  day  requested  permission  to  bury 
some  unknown  object  for  safety  in  his  (the  barber’s) 
shop,  whilst  he  (the  soldier)  was  engaged  upon  “ other 
matters.”  To  his  own  shop  he  was  at  once  taken  under 
escort,  and  there  the  seal  was  at  last  found,  buried  some 
depth  beneath  the  floor.  The  barber’s  services  were 
afterwards  utilised  as  an  informer  in  order  to  trace 
the  ramifications  of  the  alleged  plot,  and  the  soldier 
was  brought  up  for  trial,  or,  rather,  for  examination. 

There  was  evidence  that  a certain  number  of  Chinese 
desperadoes  had  really  been  in  touch  with  the  mentha, 
or  Burmese  “ prince,”  and  it  seemed  likely  that  some 
ill-defined  intrigue  had  really  been  contemplated  by  the 
prisoner  ; moreover,  the  unfortunate  soldier  was  quite 
unable  to  explain  on  any  intelligible  hypothesis  his 
possession  of  a Burmese  royal  seal  : the  allegation  that 
he  used  it  for  “ stamping  cakes  with  ” was  scarcely 
acceptable  to  the  most  charitably  disposed  mind.  But 
there  was  no  real  evidence  on  which  to  convict  in  due 
English  form  of  any  serious  offence ; and  so  the  man 
was  simply  dealt  with  under  local  ordinance  as  a 
vagabond  without  visible  means  of  subsistence,  and 
removed  from  Bhamo  for  a period  of  surveillance. 

CAPTAIN  CH'EN 

The  Chinese  mandarindom  may  (without  disrespect  to 
either  of  them)  be  compared  with  certain  defective  parts 
of  the  Briti.sh  army  organisation  before  the  Boer  war. 


BACKING  YOUR  FRIENDS” 


247 


Excellent  principles,  smart  uniforms,  little  responsibility, 
so  long  as  “ form  ” was  maintained ; great  dignity 
unmistakable  “ position,”  with  now  and  then  an  agree- 
able outing  ; but  above  all,  absence  of  thoroughness, 
preparation,  and  capacity  to  deal  promptly  and 
effectively  with  sudden  situations.  (I  do  not  include 
the  admirable  Indian  army  in  these  remarks.)  Hence 
it  comes  to  pass  that  service  “ sticks  ” and  service 
“ hacks  ” are  too  often  developed  in  both  cases  out  of 
well-disposed  and  “ correct,”  but  unpractical  men  ; whilst 
in  times  of  danger  or  emergency  unexpected  outsiders 
come  to  the  front,  and  by  the  sheer  force  of  their 
ability  elbow  aside  the  more  ornamental  administra- 
tors, who  dodge  about  between  red  tape  and  divided 
responsibility  for  their  own  official  safety.  I,  for  one, 
believe  the  Boer  war  will  do  our  “ leisured  classes  ” a 
power  of  good,  if  only  through  showing  common  men 
like  myself  that  dukes  are  as  ready  as  cooks  to  be 
shot  at  when  the  old  country’s  honour  is  in  question. 

Captain  Ch'en’s  one  secret  of  success  was  that  he 
possessed  the  rare  faculty  of  seeing  straight  before  his 
nose,  instead  of  diplomatically  envisaging  objects  round 
the  corner,  or  juggling  with  facts  in  order  to  “ round 
off”  the  situation  (as  the  native  literary  men  express 
it).  I am  not  sure  but  what  I myself  had  unwittingly 
something  to  do  with  his  rise  ; at  all  events,  he  was 
first  discovered  by  me  in  the  act  of  superintending 
the  construction  of  some  new  forts  at  Hoihow,  destined 
to  command  the  straits  between  the  French  port  of 


248 


ARMY  AND  NAVY 


Haiphong  and  the  English  colony  of  Hongkong ; and 
my  able  colleague  Julius  Neumann  of  the  Maritime 
Customs  spoke  of  him  very  highly.  This  military  con- 
struction work  had  probably  been  ordered  by  the 
energetic  Viceroy  Chang  Chf-tung,  who  had  been  suc- 
ceeded at  Canton  by  the  rapacious  but  courtly  Li 
Han-chang  (elder  half-brother  of  Li  Hung-chang)  shortly 
before  I arrived  on  the  spot.  Captain  Ch'en  personally 
supervised  the  v/orks  with  great  energy ; he  had  his 
men  under  complete  control ; possessed  European 
specifications  and  plans  which  enabled  him  to  construct 
really  serviceable  forts  ; and  made  himself  agreeable  to 
all  those  foreign  officials  who  came  in  his  way, — and 
were  reciprocally  disposed  towards  him.  At  last,  as  a 
reward  for  this  special  service,  he  was  unexpectedly 
promoted  at  one  bound  to  the  important  acting  post  of 
military  commandant,  or  “colonel,”  at  Hoihow.  This 
gave  him  a large  yainen  of  his  own,  and  considerable 
state ; his  supposed  “ influence  ” with  the  barbarian 
even  led  his  civil  superior  the  taotai  (practically  governor 
of  the  island)  to  occasionally  entrust  him  with  delicate 
“ diplomatic  ” negotiations.  And  thus  I left  him  ; but  I 
do  not  know  if  he  is  still  in  favour. 

However,  the  point  is  this.  Captain  Ch'en  was 
such  a “ straight  ” man  that  you  could  extract 
definite  information  on  esoteric  matters  from  him  ; and 
I was  thus  able  to  confirm,  under  ocular  illustration, 
certain  floating  notions  I had  possessed  about  Chinese 
yamen  life.  He  had  a wife — passe'e,  of  course — who 


A LION  AMONG  LADIES 


249 


ruled  the  roast  in  that  watchful  and  relentless  way  in 
which  capable  Frenchwomen  d'un  certam  age  rule  a busy 
cafe.  Captain  Ch'en  bought,  sold,  and  exchanged  con- 
cubines freely,  this  freedom  evidently  being  the  common 
basis  upon  which  agreeable  “ terms  ” had  been  made  be- 
tween himself  and  his  wife.  “You  have  the  pleasure  ; 
I have  the  power.”  Like  a sensible  man,  he  always 
showed  formal  respect  to  his  wife  ; and,  although  he 
never  took  her  to  the  various  forts,  camps,  and  war- 
junks  in  or  on  which  he  was  from  time  to  time 
employed  for  months  at  a stretch,  he  always  consulted 
her ; left  the  purse-strings  in  her  charge  ; and  gave  her 
“ feminine  ” command  over  all  the  concubines  and 
“ slaveys  ” not  actually  with  him. 

Captain  Ch'en  was  as  honest  as  it  is  possible  for  a 
Chinaman  to  be  under  his  average  circumstances.  Of 
course  it  cannot  be  supposed  that  he  did  not  make 
money  out  of  such  a big  contract  as  that  of  the 
enormous  forts — half  a million  taels,  I think  ; but  he 
did  not  lay  himself  out  to  make  money.  He  kept  the 
garrisons  entrusted  to  him  in  a solvent  and  efficient 
condition ; and  he  maintained  public  order  without 
fear  or  favour,  endeavouring  to  secure  justice  for 
missionaries  and  merchants  alike.  He  was  in  his 
conversation  rather  an  ignorant  man ; but  that  does 
not  matter  much  in  China,  where  speech  takes  a back 
seat,  viceroys  talk  rustic  brogues,  and  “ writing  fellows  ” 
are  provided  for  all  officials,  civil  and  military.  It  is 
like  our  Law : the  point  is  not  so  much  to  know  it,  as 


250 


ARMY  AND  NAVY 


/ 

to  know  where  to  have  it.  I do  not  like  to  say  much 
more  about  Captain  Ch'en,  lest  I should  interfere 
with  his  future  prospects ; but  I consign  a paragraph 
to  him  here  in  order  to  instance  how  one  occasionally 
comes  across  very  fair-minded  and  reasonable  man- 
darins in  even  the  remotest  parts  of  China. 

ADMIRAL  TING 

This  brave  but  incapable  officer  committed  suicide 
on  February  12,  1895  ; that  is,  on  the  occasion  of  the 
capitulation  of  Wei-hai  Wei  to  the  Japanese.  Most  of 
his  officers  behaved  well,  but  the  soldiers  and  sailors 
either  mutinied  or  refused  to  fight,  and  four  of  the 
ironclads  which  I had  so  often  visited  were  sunk.  ' 

Admiral  Ting’s  last  letter  to  the  Japanese  commander 
was  a remarkably  touching  and  manly  document. 

I first  made  his  acquaintance  at  Chemulpho  in  ( 
1885,  at  the  time  when  he  was  in  full  enjoyment  of  his  j 
yellow  jacket,  and  of  the  other  honours  conferred  upon 
him  by  the  Emperor  of  China  as  a reward  for  the  : 
thoroughly  Celestial  service  of  having  treacherously  f 
kidnapped  the  King  of  Corea’s  father,  whom  he  had  < 
invited  (August,  1882)  to  a jollification  on  board  his 
flagship.  At  that  time  the  Japanese  envoy  Hanabusa  f 
was  threatening  the  feeble  King,  on  account  of  his 
domineering  father’s  anti-Christian  and  anti-Japanese 
zeal.  Meanwhile,  Yuan  Shi-k'ai,  with  masterly  rapidity, 
threw  his  whole  army  into  Soul,  and  re-established 
Chinese  influence  by  a sudden  co2ip  d'dtat.  In  the 


“OH,  WHAT  A FALL  WAS  THERE!”  251 


winter  of  1884  occurred  a second  struggle,  in  which  the 
Japanese  again  came  off  second  best,  and  the  European 
envoys  had  to  “make  tracks”  to  their  own  houses.  In 
October,  1885,  Yiian  Shl-k'ai  brought  the  King’s  father 
back,  and  the  next  year  the  triumphant  Chinese  navy 
was  thoroughly  reorganised  under  the  supreme  manage- 
ment of  the  Emperor’s  father,  the  late  Prince  Ch'un, 
with  Admiral  Ting  as  commander-in-chief  of  the 
northern  division.  The  fortunes  of  the  dynasty  had 
never  looked  so  smiling  as  at  that  moment ; at  least, 
ever  since  the  war  of  1842. 

After  this.  Captain  Lang,  R.N,  was  prevailed  upon 
to  come  out  to  China  once  more,  with  a view  to  taking 
this  promising  “ northern  fleet  ” in  hand  ; he  and 
Lieutenant-Commander  Ching,  R.N.,  had  already  done 
good  service  to  the  Chinese  in  1877,  by  bringing  out 
for  them  the  first  squadron  of  “ mosquito  ” gunboats. 
Captain  Lang  was  in  Shanghai  hard  at  work  organising 
things  for  the  new  fleet  in  February,  1888.  After 
preliminaries  had  been  knocked  into  shape  a little,  it 
was  thought  well  to  show  China’s  flag  in  the  south  seas, 
where  the  ambitious  Viceroy  Chang  Chi-tung  of  Canton 
felt  anxious  to  re-establish  the  old  Celestial  influence. 
At  that  time  he  thought  the  Germans  “ mild  folk,” 
and  was  particularly  anxious  to  clip  the  naughty 
British  wings.  Japan  and  Manila  were  first  visited 
by  the  fleet,  and  then  preparations  were  made  for  a 
cruise  to  Singapore,  Batavia,  Siam,  Penang,  and  Burma. 

It  was  whilst  the  ships  were  at  Hongkong  on  this 


252 


ARMY  AND  NAVY 


cruise  that  occurred  the  above-described  incident  {vide 
p.  241)  which  may  be  said  to  have  indirectly  led,  in  part 
at  least,  to  China’s  defeat  by  Japan.  When  Admiral 
Lang  complained,  Li  Hung-chang  foolishly  sent  an 
evasive  answer,  practically  confirming  this  ungracious 
act.  Admiral  Lang,  notwithstanding  the  gross  insult, 
magnanimously  allowed  the  matter  to  stand  over 
until  the  southern  cruise  should  have  completed,  so 
as  to  avoid  “ swapping  horses  in  mid-stream  ” ; he 
then  firmly  announced  his  intention  to  resign,  and 
did  so.  Over  and  over  again  Li  Hung-chang  en- 
deavoured, directly  and  indirectly,  to  induce  the  British 
Admiralty  to  lend  him  another  man ; but,  in  the 
absence  of  an  official  apology,  nothing  was  ever  done  ; — 
at  least,  nothing  beyond  getting  out  some  minor 
instructors,  in  an  underhand  way. 

It  was  on  the  two  admirals’  return  from  the  southern 
cruise  that  Admiral  Ting  paid  me  his  hilarious  “ state  ” 
visit  at  Pagoda  Anchorage  : he  was  very  uproarious, 
and  evidently  well  pleased  with  himself  after  his 
successful  cruise. — After  Admiral  Lang’s  departure, 
the  discipline  of  the  fleet  at  once  relaxed  ; and  when 
real  war  came,  the  Japanese  of  course  promptly  made 
mincemeat  of  it.  Admiral  Ting  was  left  without 
proper  orders  or  supplies,  and  therefore  took  poison  ; 
dying  like  a gentleman  and  a man  of  honour, — accord- 
ing to  his  lights. 


THE  STINK  OF  YOUR  CAMPS 


253 


A COREAN  ADMIRAL 

One  of  the  most  agreeable  experiences  I ever  under- 
went was  my  official  visit  to  the  Corean  Admiral 
of  Shui-ying  (=  water-camp),  near  Pusan,  or  P'usan. 
It  is  difficult  to  gain  any  idea  of  the  historical  interest 
of  this  post  without  some  knowledge  of  the  wars  of 
Kublai  Khan  and  Hideyoshi : how  the  haughty  Mongol 
wished  to  conquer  Japan,  and  spent  years  in  “working 
up  ” the  Corean  navy ; how  he  established  stations 
all  along  the  coasts  of  Corea  and  Quelpaert  ; how  at 
last  his  whole  force  (chiefly  Manchus  and  Coreans) 
was  utterly  annihilated  in  Spanish  Armada  fashion  by 
a convenient  storm.  Then,  as  to  Hideyoshi,  the  story 
of  this  man’s  doings  is  as  celebrated  in  Far  Eastern 
annals  as  the  tale  of  Don  John  of  Austria  in  Europe. 
The  old  town  of  Torai  (Tung-lai),  near  Fusan,  is 
historically  as  interesting  as  Cadiz  or  Dunkirk,  and  it 
remains  now  exactly  as  it  was  centuries  ago.  Hideyoshi 
was  an  adventurer  with  Napoleonic  ideas ; his  aim  was 
to  create  a diversion  in  home  politics  by  sending  his 
Christian  generals,  like  so  many  Uriahs,  to  the  front  ; 
and  then,  if  possible,  to  make  them  conquer  China  for 
him  through  Corea.  Corea  fell  like  a pack  of  cards  ; 
but  the  decaying  Ming  dynasty  made  an  unexpected 
spurt  in  defence  of  its  vassal,  and  Hideyoshi’s  sudden 
death  put  an  end  to  his  grandiose  ideas.  All  this 
took  place  three  hundred  years  ago ; and  many  were 
the  fierce  fights,  under  the  flag  of  the  Admiral  of 


254 


ARMY  AND  NAVY 


Shui-ying,  that  raged  in  Fusan  waters : artillery  was 
freely  employed. 

During  the  short  fortnight  of  my  pseudo-Smerdis- 
like  regime  at  that  place,  I made  many  excursions 
to  Deer  Island,  Tdrai,  and  the  environs,  and  of  course 
hunted  up  the  historical  admiral,  who  lives  in  a sort 
of  fortress-town  of  his  own.  There  is  a story  of  a 
Russian  sentry  still  standing  somewhere  in  St.  Peters- 
burg, in  order  to  prevent  any  one  from  plucking  the 
rose  Catherine  the  Great  ordered  his  predecessor  to 
protect ; but  here  was  a genuine  case  of  an  admiral 
enjoying  vast  emoluments,  without  even  a sampan, 
and  fattening  on  the  traditions  of  three  hundred  years 
ago.  I may  mention  that  the  Corean  nyangpan,  or 
“gentleman,”  is,  (though  a ridiculously  funny  fellow  in 
our  eyes,)  a remarkably  refined  specimen  of  humanity 
for  so  bucolic  a country.  So  wide  an  abyss  is  that 
which  separates  a gentleman  i^geborener')  from  a mere 
man,  that  the  word  nom  (“  fellow  ”)  is  used  by  the  gentry, 
instead  of  the  word  “ man,”  in  order  to  indicate  the  low 
or  “ un  ’’-born  ; he  is  addressed  in  the  third  person  as 
or  “ that  fellow.”  It  is  as  though  a Frenchman 
should  ask  “ On  va  cet  individu  ? ” instead  of  “ Oh 
allen-vous,  Monsieur  ? ” 

But  the  learned  and  gallant  Admiral  of  Shui-ying 
fairly  took  my  breath  away.  He  was  in  figure  and 
feature  a typical  English  or  Anglo-Indian  retired 
colonel,  of  the  slimmest  and  most  dressy  type.  The 
expression  of  his  face  was  one  of  the  highest  courtesy 


A . . . LORD,  NEAT,  TRIMLY  DRESSED”  255 


and  fine  breeding.  His  hands  were  perfectly  clean, 
and,  what  is  more,  dry  ; with  pared  nails  fit  for  a Lord 
Chesterfield.  Without  the  faintest  constraint  of  manner, 
he  talked  in  that  rapid,  authoritative,  and  yet  gentle  way 
which  one  might  imagine  in  a Russian  diplomatist  of 
the  most  insinuating  type;  even  to  my  nichtgeborenen" 
Corean  interpreter,  who  stood  behind  me,  he  spoke 
sweetly  and  with  a courteous  deference,  ingeniously 
avoiding  the  Er,  but  never  giving  himself  away  by 
using  a Sie ; or,  better  still,  he  managed,  like  an 
educated  Italian  can  do,  to  dodge  or  float  between 
the  Lei  and  the  Tu,  without  actually  uttering  even  the 
word  Voi  at  all.  The  repast  of  cakes,  tea,  and  wine 
was  exquisite  in  its  refinement ; his  teeth  were  in 
good  order,  and  he  did  not  shoot  crumbs  into  your 
face  whilst  speaking  (a  hint  which  may  hold  good  even 
for  some  persons  of  high  rank  at  home) : his  written 
Chinese  was  perfect,  and  we  soon  gave  up  the  coarse 
interpreter  in  favour  of  “pencil  chat,”  telling  each  other 
what  superior  creatures  we  both  were,  and  indulging  in 
other  philosophical  disquisitions. 

Nothing  can  excel  the  vivid  brightness  of  the  fine, 
gay  silks  the  Corean  mandarins  wear  over  their  white 
robes.  This  man’s  horse-hair  hat,  merely  as  a work  of 
art,  must  have  cost  him  ten  pounds  sterling  : it  was 
surmounted  by  a " button  ” representing  a bird,  most 
artistically  carved  out  of  a piece  of  jade.  As  every 
one  now  knows,  the  Corean  hat  is  shaped  exactly 
like  the  old  Welshwomen’s  hats  of  North  Wales.  So 


256 


ARMY  AND  NAVY 


far  as  I could  make  out,  his  “ forces  ” consisted  of 
about  ten  soldiers.  Perhaps  he  was  only  there  by 
accident ; for  in  Corea  mandarins  like  to  live  at  Soul, 
and  to  leave  their  provincial  posts  to  be  farmed  by 
cunning  stewards,  in  the  good  old  Chinese  style  of 
the  Ming  dynasty,  which  they  continue  to  imitate. 

CAPTAIN  TENG 

As  a general  rule  the  Chinese,  unlike  the  Coreans, 
have  not  a Christian  mind, — that  is,  they  have  not  the 
humble  and  respectful  natural  deference  which  renders 
them  susceptible  to  our  religious  teaching.  This  must 
not  be  confused  with  “ religious  mind,”  for  the  Coreans 
are  much  more  robustly  atheistic  and  much  less  actively 
superstitious  than  the  Chinese.  It  is  difficult  to  define 
a Christian  mind  without  Christianity  in  general  terms  ; 
but  it  is  perhaps  possible  to  arrive  indirectly  at  such  a 
definition  by  describing  specifically  what  sort  of  a man 
Captain  Teng  really  was.  I know  nothing  of  his  origin 
because  he  spoke  English  so  well  that  it  was  never 
necessary  to  utter  a Chinese  word  in  his  presence  ; but 
I believe  he  was  a Cantonese.  He  had  lived  in  New- 
castle, to  which  place  he  had  been  sent  in  order  to  watch 
the  construction  of  one  of  the  Armstrong  cruisers,  and  to 
bring  her  out.  I made  his  acquaintance  at  Chemulpho, 
at  which  place  he  remained,  off  and  on,  for  some 
months.  I think  his  ship  was  then  the  Yang-wei,  but 
that  point  is  not  essential  to  the  story.  He  was  most 
anxious  to  improve  his  English  “ style,”  and  it  will  there- 


VIRTUTIS  AMORE 


257 


fore  be  readily  understood  by  all  persons  of  taste  and 
quality  that  he  acted  wisely  and  well  in  coming  to  me 
for  light  and  grace.  He  used  to  write  me  a long  letter 
every  day ; and  I duly  corrected  and  returned  it,  to  be 
read,  marked,  learned,  and  digested.  It  is  quite  possible 
that  he  may  have  been  a Christian  ; but,  if  so,  the 
subject  never  came  up  between  us.  Anyway,  I 
never  saw  a Chinaman  who  suggested  to  me  so  much 
of  the  old  Puritan  type  of  mind.  Captain  Teng 
was  always  grave,  calm,  thoughtful,  considerate,  and 
courteous.  He  never  smoked,  drank,  or  amused  him- 
self in  any  way ; but  at  the  same  time  he  always  offered 
the  usual  refreshments,  and  would  even  light  a cigarette 
to  keep  his  guests  in  countenance.  His  ship  and  his 
men  were  always  kept  in  excellent  condition  ; but  he 
never  fussed  and  fumed  about,  and  was  externally 
anything  but  severe.  He  left  the  impression  of  being 
very  patriotic,  and  always  seemed  to  be  pondering  over 
the  prospects  of  his  country.  No  one  ever  saw  him 
put  on  foreign  airs,  as  most  Chinamen  veneered  (or 
smeared)  with  “ civilisation  ” try  to  do  ; that  is,  he 
never  sprawled  in  easy  chairs ; “ got  up  ” fancy  con- 
versation in  order  to  show  off ; puffed  a cigar  in 
nonchalant  style ; asserted  his  “ rights  ” ; tried  to 
snub ; or  burst  into  guffaws  of  laughter.  It  was  not 
his  practice  to  make  squeezes  on  his  “oil  and  paint” 
(a  common  thing  in  the  Chinese  navy),  or  to  dock  his 
men’s  pay. 

In  short,  long  before  anything  occurred  to  bring 

17 


258 


ARMY  AND  NAVY 


his  name  before  the  public,  Captain  Teng  impressed 
me  as  being  a noble-minded  man  ; and  when  the  British 
marines  were  landed  for  a night  at  Chemulpho,  I was 
exceedingly  sorry  to  have  to  refuse  his  earnest  request 
that  I should  send  them  back.  His  position  was  then 
very  ridiculous  : he  was  senior  officer  of  a squadron  of 
ironclads,  all  anchored  in  full  view  off  the  town,  and 
there  was  one  Japanese  man-of-war  there  too ; but,  by 
agreement  between  the  Chinese  and  Japanese  Govern- 
ments, not  a man  could  be  landed  by  either  without 
mutual  consent ; and  the  Chinese  Consul  had  been  told 
that  unless  he  maintained  order,  the  British  marines 
would  hold  his  settlement  for  him.  I,  of  course,  offered 
to  let  Captain  Teng  do  so  instead,  but  “diplomacy” 
(which  occasionally  mars  as  well  as  makes  a situation) 
stood  remorselessly  in  his  way.  The  tiny  English  craft 
lay  in  close,  and  might  almost  have  been  carried  on 
the  davits  of  the  larger  ironclads  ; yet  “ diplomacy”  (of 
an  inferior  or  consular  kind)  made  her  mightier  than 
fleets  for  the  nonce. 

During  the  Japanese  war  of  1894,  this  brave  officer’s 
opportunity  came,  and  he  went  down  with  his  ship  at 
the  battle  of  the  Yalu.  In  spite  of  his  modesty  and 
virtue.  Captain  Teng  was  decidedly  ambitious,  and  he 
possessed  in  high  degree  (for  a Chinaman)  both  the 
mathematical  and  the  naval  capacity ; moreover,  he 
possessed  nerve,  which  is  what  usually  fails  soonest 
in  fighting  Chinamen.  It  is  difficult  to  have  sound 
nerve  in  the  midst  of  cowardice,  corruption,  and 


“SWALLOWING  A TAILOR’S  NEWS”  259 


injustice ; and  I doubt  if  our  own  officers  would  always 
have  it  under  similar  depressing  conditions.  When  a 
man  finds  his  superiors  are  writing  private  letters 
behind  his  back  in  a way  likely  to  damage  his  career, 
and  are  persistently  bent  on  deceiving  themselves  under 
his  very  nose,  it  is  not  easy  to  hold  on  unshaken  to 
a just  conclusion,  amid  shifting  circumstances  which 
vary  with  each  new  shift  or  double  employed,  and 
with  each  fresh  attempt  to  tinker  at  the  truth.  I do 
not  quite  know  the  relations  which  subsisted  between 
Admiral  Ting  and  Captain  Teng,  but  I do  know  that 
the  gallant  admiral,  though  a brave  man,  was  grossly 
incompetent  ; and  I am  satisfied  Captain  Teng  spent 
many  bitter  hours  in  reflecting  upon  the  hopelessness 
of  his  aspirations. 

A MORE  THAN  ROYAL  SALUTE 

It  was  a fine,  brave  sight  to  see  the  Chinese  ironclads 
sail  into  Chemulpho  harbour.  They  had  already  been 
there  in  force  three  months  earlier,  and  I am  now  not 
quite  sure  on  which  occasion  the  81 -gun  salute  took 
1 place  ; but  it  did  take  place  once.  The  King  of  Corea’s 
j birthday  was  on  the  24th,  and  the  U.S.S.  Ossipee 
j turned  up  on  the  25th.  As  usual,  ructions  and  revolu- 
tions were  going  on  at  Soul ; the  Russians  were  sup- 
1 posed  to  be  assembling  vast  fleets  on  the  east  coast ; 

marching  gigantic  armies  across  to  the  west  coast ; 
i Japanese  and  American  officials — ministers,  advisers, 
I consuls — were  making  hurried  visits  to  Tientsin  and 


26o 


ARMY  AND  NAVY 


Tokyo  to  “explain”;  and  there  was  a general  feeling 
that  diplomatic  history  was  being  made  in  some  way, 
but  in  a way  much  too  occult  for  the  ordinary,  plain, 
consular  mind.  As  a matter  of  fact  (as  I afterwards 
found),  “some  one  had  blundered,”  and,  not  under- 
standing a Chinese  expression  in  a Corean  newspaper, 
had  mistaken  a “ three-masted  surveying  ship  ” for 
“three  ships  of  war  surveying  with  the  ultimate  result 
that  this  news  had  been  telegraphed  all  over  the  world. 
But  I knew  nothing  of  this  at  the  time ; all  I knew 
was  that  fleets  were  there,  and  that  consuls  had  to  call 
officially  on  fleets. 

The  Chinese  fleet,  or  navy,  had  only  just  come  into 
existence  (in  a Postal-Union  sense)  under  the  aegis 
of  the  poetical  Prince  Ch'un,  father  of  the  Emperor  ; 
and  up  to  this  time  no  notice  had  ever  been  taken 
of  it  in  matters  of  flags,  calls,  salutes,  and  forms 
generally  ; its  status  was  like  that  of  the  Turkish  Post- 
Office, — “ not  much  punkins.”  But  in  Corea  the  sun  is 
never  very  oppressive ; my  mildewed  uniform  needed 
an  airing  ; and  I felt  generally  disposed  to  see  strange 
men  doing  strange  things  ; and  to  have  a fling  ; so  off 
I went  with  my  flag  in  “somebody’s”  gig  (I  forget 
whose  gig  I borrowed). 

Admiral  Ting  had  already  exchanged  visits  with  me 
a year  before,  and  I don’t  think  he  was  in  port  on  this 
occasion  ; however,  the  gallant  Captain  Teng  (subse- 
quently killed  in  the  Japanese  war)  was  there;  also 
Captain  Yeh,  once  a midshipman  in  our  navy ; Captain 


BLUSHING  HONOURS  THICK  UPON  HIM”  261 


Sah  ; and  others  of  less  note.  I think  Captain  Teng 
was  then  too  the  senior  officer ; and  so,  being  an  old 
friend,  he  made  no  stint  with  his  guns. 

Previous  to  this  the  Chinese  had  always  resolutely 
adhered  to  their  own  custom  of  firing  three  guns, 
irrespective  of  rank.  I don’t  know  much  about  our 
own  guns,  but  I believe  seven  is  the  utmost  any 
consular  officer  can  pretend  to.  However,  I got  nine, 
and  to  the  inspiriting  music  of  these  nine  guns  1 moved 
off  to  Captain  Yeh’s  ship.  All  was  in  excellent  order. 
Captain  Teng  had  been  at  Newcastle,  but  Captain  Yeh 
had  the  polish  of  the  best  English  school.  I have 
always  been  under  the  impression  that  when  the 
admiral  or  senior  officer  salutes  a guest,  no  other  can 
do  so  ; and  in  any  case  no  guest  gets  two  salutes  in  one 
day  from  the  same  squadron.  This  merely  en  passant, 
for  the  subject  never  interested  me  more  than  the 
numerous  other  similar  or  analogous  questions  ; such 
as,  where  the  guest  is  received  ; who  steps  in  or  out 
of  a boat  first ; who  calls  first,  on  whom ; whether 
mufti  or  uniform  should  be  worn  ; and  so  on  : all  I 
know  is  that  I invariably  created  a “ situation,”  or 
made  a mess  of  some  sort,  in  my  endeavours  to  be 
smart.  However,  to  my  intense  surprise,  nine  more 
guns  blazed  away  as  I quitted  the  courtly  Captain 
Yeh’s  ship  to  hie  me  over  to  Captain  Sah’s.  This 
last-named  energetic  officer  thought  fit  to  “ ante  up  ” ; 
which  made  twenty-seven.  At  each  place  I had 
exhilarating  refreshment,  and  the  other  captains,  com- 


262 


ARMY  AND  NAVY 


mandants,  and  lieutenants  seem  to  have  one  and  all 
yielded  to  the  gladsome  inspiration  created  by  noise,  a 
bright  sun,  and  the  champagne.  It  was  such  fun  that, 
although  I had  not  originally  intended  to  visit  more 
than  one  or  two  ships,  I decided  to  go  through  the 
whole  number.  Whether  the  senior  officer  had  signalled 
orders ; whether  the  art  of  signalling  was  yet  known 
to  the  Chinese  ; or  whether  it  was  a plain,  simple  case 
of  helpless  blundering  (a  commoner  explanation  of 
mysterious  official  action  than  the  public  may  think)  : 
whether  they  were  anxious  to  show  special  respect  to 
me ; or  to  England ; or  to  evince  contempt  for 
Russia, — all  these  things  I know  not;  bu  this  I do 
know, — that,  by  the  time  I arrived  at  the  last  (a 
“ mosquito  ” boat),  1 had  received  seventy-two  guns 
all  told. 

The  mosquito  boat  was  so  dirty  and  uncomfortable 
that  I merely  stepped  on  board  to  assure  the  man 
in  charge  of  my  distinguished  consideration  ; but 
even  this  gave  sufficient  time  to  enable  him  to  hiss 
hurriedly  into  my  ear  : “ We  can’t  fire  our  big  forty-ton 
gun,  and  have  nothing  else  but  machine  guns.”  The 
rattle  of  Hotchkisses,  Gatlings,  and  Gardners  accordingly 
accompanied  my  triumphant  departure  for  the  shore. 
I half  suspect  that  news  of  this  firing  was  instantly 
telegraphed  to  Soul,  and  (as  political  “ feelings  ” grew 
calmer  up  there  immediately)  that  the  quidnuncs 
represented  it  as  a gigantic  victory  gained  by  England 
over  the  Russians. 


CHAPTER  XII 


PSEUDO-CHINAMEN 

THE  MURDEROUS  MONGOL 

IN  the  streets  of  Peking  we  had  often  noticed  the 
free  and  independent  bearing  of  the  Mongols, 
whose  encampment  or  market  was  just  behind  the 
Legation  : it  is  now  probably  a thing  of  the  past  for 
ever.  On  one  or  two  occasions  I and  others  had  even 
tried  a fall  with  them  in  the  public  streets  ; but  they 
are  good  wrestlers,  and  very  hard  to  get  hold  of  when 
they  have  a sheepskin  on,  smooth  side  out.  In  travel- 
ling beyond  the  Great  Wall  we  met  thousands  of 
them,  both  in  their  bo  (tents),  and  conducting  caravans 
of  frozen  sheep,  skins,  and  other  merchandise  to  Peking. 
It  was  the  exception  for  them  to  speak  Chinese,  but 
they  all  had  a good-natured  inen-du  (their  form  of 
greeting) ; — even  the  women,  who  rode  cross-legged 
like  the  men. 

Between  Kalgan  and  Siian-hwa  Fu  (the  site  of 
the  oldest  traditional  capital  of  China)  we  met  a 
lama,  or  Mongol  ecclesiastic  of  rank,  and  I effected 
a “ swap  ” of  horses  ; giving  mine,  which  had  a sore 

263 


264 


PSEUDO-CHINAMEN 


back  and  was  lazy,  in  exchange  for  an  older  animal 
more  willing  to  travel.  The  Mongols  “ work  ” the 
price  of  a horse  with  their  fingers,  buyer  and  purchaser 
covering  right  hands  with  the  long  cuff,  and  thus  con- 
ducting a mysterious  exchange  of  ideas.  The  Peking 
horsey  men  imitate  this  practice. 

As  my  colleague  Andrews  and  I were  starting  from 
Shibartai  for  a place  on  the  way  to  Dolonor  called 
Pashang-ku,  we  struck  up  a riding  acquaintance  with 
a Mongol  horseman  who  knew  a few  words  of  Chinese 
Andrews  was  both  an  obtuse  “ listener  ” and  a peppery 
individual,  and  soon  lost  his  temper  in  trying  to  extract 
definite  answers.  The  uncouth  Mongol  simply  said 
“ Aw,”  and  nodded  his  head  with  a grin  in  reply  to 
anything  he  did  not  understand.  The  result  of  these 
strained  relations  was  a crack  over  the  head  for  the 
thick-skulled  Mongol  with  the  butt  of  Andrews’  riding- 
whip.  Andrews  then  rode  moodily  on,  and  I remained 
talking  with  the  Mongol. 

Suddenly  the  Mongol  said  to  me  in  a whisper : “ Is 
that  your  friend  ? ” 

I said:  “Yes;  a very  good  man.” 

“ A good  man  ! Why  did  he  hit  me  ? ” 

“ Oh  ! that’s  nothing  ; that’s  merely  the  foreign  way.” 
After  a few  minutes’  profound  thought,  the  Mongol 
said  : “ I want  to  kill  him  ” ; — and  I noticed  he  carried 
the  usual  long  knife  in  his  belt. 

I went  on  talking,  as  though  unconcerned,  but 
managed  to  interlard  a few  sentences  in  English,  the 


OUR  WITHERS  ARE  UNWRUNG”  265 


Mongol  being  none  the  wiser.  I said  in  jerks : “ Go 
on,  Andrews,  as  if  nothing  had  occurred  ; don’t  under 
any  circumstances  look  round  or  hasten  your  pace. 
You  are  a great  ass  for  hitting  this  fellow,  and  he  is 
threatening  to  kill  you  ; just  have  your  pistol  ready.” 
Meanwhile,  with  a smiling  face  I showed  the 
Mongol  my  pistol,  and  said  I thought  he  had  better 
not  try  to  kill  Andrews,  because  Andrews  had  one 
too.  The  wretched  Andrews  during  all  this  time  was 
making  anxious  enquiries  with  his  face  still  straight 
ahead : “ How  are  things  going  on  ? ” etc.  ; but  I did 
' not  spare  his  feelings  at  all,  for  I thought  it  would 
I be  a good  lesson.  Suddenly  the  Mongol — a wonderful 
i horseman  as  they  all  are — shot  out  like  an  arrow 
to  the  left 

“ Look  out  Andrews  he’s  off!” 

Andrews  was  relieved  to  find  he  had  taken  a 
side  direction.  That  night  at  Pashang-ku  was  a very 
uneasy  one ; for  our  attendants,  and  especially  Chang- 
erh,  who  understood  Mongol  ways,  feared  the  irate 
man  was  going  to  raise  the  occupants  of  some  yourts 
we  could  distinguish  in  the  distance,  and  attack  the 
inn  ; — for  it  was  of  that  alone  that  Pashang-ku  consisted. 
However,  nothing  more  occurred. 

THE  MIAO-TSZ 

These  “savages”  bear  very  much  the  same  relation 
to  the  regulation  Chinese  that  the  gipsies  do  to  us. 
They  can  easily  pass  for  ordinary  Celestial  labourers. 


266 


PSEUDO-CHINAMEN 


provided  they  wear  no  ornaments  of  their  own,  and 
speak  Chinese ; but  they  are  regarded  by  the  Chinese 
as  uncanny,  being  mysterious  and  exclusive  in  their 
own  haunts.  In  some  parts  of  Kwei  Chou  province 
they  form  the  bulk  of  the  population,  and  even  have 
officials  of  their  own  ; just  as  we  used  to  allow,  and 
perhaps  still  do  allow,  a sort  of  limited  home  rule  to 
Maori  or  Canadian  chiefs.  Afterwards,  when  I saw  the 
Kakhyens,  or  Kachyns,  of  Burma,  (who  in  the  same  way 
can,  in  Burmese  dress,  easily  pass  for  Burmese,)  I felt 
sure  that  there  must  be  some  connection  between  them 
and  the  Miao-tsz  of  China.  In  each  case  I collected 
vocabularies ; from  which  it  clearly  appeared  that  both 
groups  of  languages  were  monosyllabic  and  tonal,  like 
the  Chinese  ; but,  of  course,  there  are  many  dialects. 
These,  however,  are  matters  of  ethnological  and  philo- 
logical interest,  into  which  I do  not  propose  to  enter  here. 
My  only  object  on  this  occasion  is  to  call  attention 
to  a peculiar  custom  which  is  mentioned  in  Chinese 
history,  not  only  with  reference  to  the  Miao-tsz,  but 
also  in  connection  with  the  ancient  Turks — that  is, 
the  singing  of  refrains,  warlike  or  amatory. 

At  Canton  there  is  an  analogous  “ gipsy  ” population 
called  “Tanka,”  which  is  also  often  spoken  of  in  old 
historical  works,  and  which  seems  to  be  allied  with  the 
Miao-tsz  ; but  in  Canton  they  are  confined  by  law  to 
boats.  I had  often  been  kept  awake  there  by  the 
“ catch  ” songs  exchanged  between  lovers,  and  the  same 
thing  later  attracted  my  attention  amongst  the  Miao-tsz 


‘MOST  MUSICAL,  MOST  MELANCHOLY”  267 


in  North  Kwei  Chou.  The  music  is  shrill  and  weird ; 
not  without  melody,  but  from  its  very  nature,  of 
course,  destitute  of  harmony  ; it  is  quite  free  from  the 
squeakiness  and  discord  of  Chinese  music. 

In  travelling  through  the  north-western  wilds  of  Hu 
Peh,  where  there  are  still  a few  “ savages  ” left,  I once 
put  up  for  the  night  at  a wretched  solitary  hut,  where 
a party  of  rustics  were  shelling  the  cobs  of  maize.  In 
order  to  work  through  the  night  and  keep  themselves 
awake,  the  labourers,  who  appeared  to  have  a^Miao-tsz 
tinge  in  their  composition,  set  up  in  turn  a peculiar 
melancholy  dirge,  which  every  now  and  again  broke 
out  into  a loud  howl,  having  the  effect  of  ventriloquial 
sounds  darting  to  and  fro  about  the  roof.  Once  or 
twice  a female  voice,  apparently  from  some  house  in 
the  far  distance,  responded  to  that  of  a sturdy  young 
workman  sitting  near  the  door ; and  the  effect  upon  a 
tired  man,  utterly  worn  out  with  the  fatigues  of  the 
day,  and  struggling  to  get  to  sleep,  was  both  ineffaceably 
touching  and  at  the  same  time  disturbing  to  the  nerves. 
The  twelve  chair-coolies,  the  escort,  and  the  servants 
were  all  similarly  kept  in  a state  of  uneasy  tension 
throughout  the  whole  night.  The  effect  was  so  senti- 
mental that,  in  spite  of  discomfort,  no  one  got  angry, 
though  every  one  lost  a good  night’s  rest.  To  this 
day  the  wild  music  occasionally  seems  to  ring  in  my 
ears,  suggesting  mysterious  passions  in  unseen  worlds, 
and  carrying  the  thoughts  beyond  the  sordidness  of 
this  one. 


268 


PSEUDO-CHINAMEN 


THE  COREAN  MAJ^U 

Just  as  I was  settling  down  to  a new  life  in  Fusan, 
the  ancient  Japanese  trade  settlement  in  South  Corea, 
I received  notice  to  pack  up  my  traps  once  more  and 
proceed  to  Soul,  the  capital  ; — sometimes  humorously 
called  Sheol,  on  account  of  the  prominence  given  to 
that  latter  word  by  the  New  Testament  revisers  nearly 
twenty  years  ago.  But  I had  already  concluded  a 
bargain  for  a spirited  little  horse,  and  there  were  no 
means  of  getting  him  away  by  steamer.  The  groom,  or 
mafu,  was  a shock-headed  Corean  rustic,  whose  redeem- 
ing qualities  were  fondness  for  his  animal  and  a certain 
knowledge  of  Japanese.  No  one  knew  his  name,  or 
anything  about  him  ; but  on  my  enquiring  of  him  if  he 
would  ride  the  beast  to  Soul  (a  fourteen  days’  journey), 
he  consented  to  do  so  ; and  off  he  started,  with  no  other 
baggage  than  his  white  coat  and  trousers.  He  turned 
up  in  due  course,  and  for  nearly  two  years  served 
faithfully  as  ostler,  gardener,  and  extra  coolie.  The 
cook  was  my  old  “ boy  ” ; the  coolie  proper  was  a 
Corean  who  spoke  Chinese ; and  the  waiter,  or  new 
“boy,”  was  Ichimatsu,  a Japanese,  who,  like  most  of 
his  countrymen,  had  his  wife  with  him. 

Divide  et  ivipera  was  the  motto  in  this  Corean 
residence,  each  nationality  having  a separate  dwelling, 
and  preventing  the  other  from  monopolising  the 
squeezes.  But  the  Coreans  are  a fighting  race,  and  set 
to  in  real  punishing  style  on  the  slightest  provocation. 


ARCADES  AMBO 


269 


Scarcely  a week  passed  but  what  I had  to  go  to  the 
servants’  quarters  and  bang  the  two  men’s  heads  together 
in  order  to  separate  them  ; whilst  bloody  noses  and 
black  eyes  were  as  much  the  rule  as  the  exception 
in  a week’s  work.  The  only  authority  they  seemed 
really  to  fear  was  the  petty  local  mandarin,  called  the 
pelchd  ; — an  excellent  fellow,  who  used  personally  to 
direct  the  corvee  labourers,  sjambok  in  hand,  and  himself 
apply  the  lash  without  the  slightest  hesitation.  Not- 
withstanding this  rough  justice,  he  was  much  respected 
by  foreigners  and  natives  alike. 

One  day  the  coolie,  who  was  really  the  more  quarrel- 
some of  the  two,  came  to  lay  a formal  complaint  against 
the  mafu  for  some  trifling  offence  against  my  interests, 

‘ and  suggested  that  I should  send  him  in  to  the pelcha. 

I said : “ All  right.  I will  give  him  a note  for  the 
I mandarin,  and  you  can  go  with  him.” 
i In  this  letter  (all  Corean  officials  can  read  Chinese) 

I 1 simply  said  : “ These  two  fellows  have  some  squabble 
I or  other  which  you  can  best  deal  with  ; personally,  I 
[ am  disposed  to  think  one  is  about  as  bad  as  the  other.” 
In  a short  time  both  came  back  looking  very 
crestfallen.  The  pelchd,  on  reading  my  letter,  did 
not  trouble  himself  much  about  evidence,  but  at  once 
sent  for  his  lictors,  saying  : “ Your  old  sire  says  you 
are  both  a bad  lot,  so  I am  going  to  give  the  pair  of 
you  a sound  flogging.” 

, And  he  did.  Ichimatsu  and  the  Chinese  cook 
were  delighted  at  this  judgment  of  Solomon,  and  after 


270 


PSEUDO-CHINAMEN 


that  I had  no  more  trouble. — The  original  offence 
charged  was,  I think,  going  out  at  night  without  a 
lamp  and  tally  pass. 

THE  GRAVE  OF  EMPIRE 

In  Europe  we  only  hear  in  a vague  sort  of  way  (if 
we  hear  at  all)  of  the  “ Black  Flags  ” doing  some- 
thing, without  any  apparent  motive,  on  the  borders 
of  Tonquin ; and  few  persons  are  curious  to  know 
more  ; yet  there  is  a continuity  of  history  there,  as 
interesting  to  the  Yellow  world  as  the  struggles  for 
possession  of  Decia  were  to  the  Roman  world.  Even 
when  I was  at  Canton  in  1878,  there  was  a move- 
ment in  favour  of  the  extinct  Li  dynasty  of  Annam, 
in  which  the  Black  Flags  took  part.  It  is  a curious 
thing  that  I should  have  seen,  almost  within  the  same 
month,  (1888,)  the  “ clearance  ” of  the  Mandalay  citadel 
by  the  British  and  of  the  Hanoi'  citadel  by  the  French  ; 
and  on  exactly  the  same  lines  ; — that  is,  historical 
recollections  and  native  buildings  swept  ruthlessly 
away  in  favour  of  “ progress  ” and  barracks. 

Inside  the  citadel  or  walled  town  of  Hanoi  there  is 
a very  wonderful  banyan  tree,  which  I was  in  due 
course  taken  to  see : its  creepers  have  been  encouraged, 
as  they  descend  to  the  ground,  to  take  root,  genera- 
tion after  generation,  so  that  now  it  is  practically  a 
tree  with  a hundred  roots,  capable  of  sheltering  a 
whole  regiment  of  soldiers  ; in  principle  it  somewhat 


ON  THE  BOUNTIES  OF  AN  HOUR”  271 


recalls  the  great  vine  at  Hampton  Court.  My  atten- 
tion was  at  once  attracted  by  the  following  pencil 
notice  pasted  upon  a tumbledown  gate ; “ Defense 
d'entrer  id  sans  C autorisation  de  la  bay  a ” ( = old 
woman).  As  the  chief  of  the  Educational  Department 
was  personally  showing  me  round,  I proposed  to  visit 
the  old  woman,  and,  if  possible,  find  out  all  about  it. 
A cheerful  little  boy  admitted  us,  and  led  us  to  a 
tiny,  shrivelled-up,  toothless  old  crone  of  ninety-one, 
weighing  about  forty  pounds.  She  was  a princess, 
“ fifth  in  descent,”  of  the  Li  dynasty  of  Tonquin, 
which  expired  in  1785  in  favour  of  that  of  Nguyen  : 
the  latter  originally  grew  into  being  under  the  first 
Napoleon’s  favour,  and  still  rules  under  French  pro- 
tection at  Hud — This  was  the  old  woman’s  “record”; 

When  peace  and  tranquillity  were  being  restored 
(after  the  French  soldiery  had  taken  the  citadel,  and 
had  destroyed  or  impounded  for  army  purposes  every- 
thing inside  it),  the  old  crone  was  daily  noticed  groping 
her  solitary  way  about  the  jungle  and  swamps,  and 
picking  up  fragments  of  images  and  other  desecrated 
temple  objects,  which  she  dragged  back  laboriously 
to  some  corner  of  her  shanty.  This  wreck  was  all 
that  was  left  of  a nunnery,  and  the  great  tree  and 
the  nunnery  had  once  formed  part  of  one  of  the 
imperial  temples — in  a way  a mixture  of  Hampton 
Court  and  Windsor  Chapel — in  which  in  Annam,  it 
seems,  the  widows  of  deceased  sovereigns  are  pensioned 
off.  (Later  on  I met  an  old  concubine  of  the  reigning 


272 


PSEUDO-CHINAMEN 


dynasty,  similarly  guarding  the  tomb  and  temple  of 
the  “Emperor”  Ming-manh,  and  I see  in  the  papers 
[July,  1901]  that  she  has  just  died  at  the  age  of 
ninety-two). 

The  Annamese  language  is  even  more  sing-song 
and  “ tonic  ” than  the  Chinese.  The  old  woman 
sang  out  her  story  in  my  presence  to  the  interpreter, 
mechanically  swinging  her  skinny  arm  to  and  fro,  as 
she  did  so,  behind  her  back  and  across  her  chest, 
striking  her  parchment-like  old  carcass  as  though  it 
were  a drum,  “ to  relieve  the  rheumatism.”  A “ three- 
striped  man  ” (a  colonel)  had  just  rescued  her  in  the 
nick  of  time  one  day,  at  a moment  when  a brutal 
French  soldier  was  about  to  knock  her  on  the  head  ; 
it  was  the  gallant  colonel,  too,  who  had  put  up  the 
notice  on  the  door  ; and  the  enquiries  instituted  at  his 
order  had  elicited  the  fact  that  all  the  villagers  spoke 
of  her  as  the  “ Li  princess.” 

Little  more  could  be  found  out.  We  both  tried 
persuasive  arts  in  order  to  obtain  some  hidden  books 
or  documents  from  her,  so  that  we  might  follow  the 
matter  up  at  our  leisure.  She  took  me  by  the  sleeve 
with  her  shrivelled  hand,  and  led  us  through  a maze 
of  dark,  ruined  passages  to  an  underground  chamber, 
like  that  in  the  Great  Pyramid,  whence  a mouldy, 
tomb-like  blast  issued  the  instant  a door  was  opened. 
In  it  were  two  sitting  corpses  (as  I first  took  them 
to  be)  facing  each  other,  with  a faint  oil  lamp,  or 
saucer,  between  them.  But  they  were,  after  all,  not 


■ *%u 


INTKUIOU  OF  IMF  TO.MH  (NKAR  PKKING)  OF  THF  CIIINF.SK  MINT,  KMFFROK  VUNG-1,0H,  I4O2  24. 

(Illustrates  Annamese  Tomb.)  [7 o 272. 


QUAMVIS  ILLE  NIGER 


273 


dressed  corpses  (such  as  one  may  still  see  in  the 
underground  vaults  near  Palermo)  ; they  were  simply 
“ josses  ” ; — probably  effigies  of  two  kings.  The  chamber, 
being  subterranean,  had  never  been  discovered  by  the 
rough  soldiers,  and  the  old  princess  kept  her  frag- 
mentary treasures  here. 

JOSEPH  THE  SINNER 

The  evening  before  my  last  departure  by  river  steamer 
from  Rangoon,  I did  not  reach  the  hotel  till  midnight ; 
and,  as  we  had  to  be  up  at  four,  I thought  it  well  to 
rouse  Joseph  from  the  door-mat  to  make  sure  that 
the  washing  had  come  back,  as  had  been  strictly 
ordered.  Mine  had,  but  his  had  not  ; and  therefore 
I determined  to  teach  him  a lesson.  Joseph  was  a 
Kling,  as  black  as  coal,  successor  to  Wawa  (“the 
Baby  ”).  “ Come  with  me  ; show  me  where  the  washer- 

man lives ; and  bring  your  things  now.” 

It  was  half  an  hour’s  walk,  and  by  the  time  we  got 
there  I felt  inclined  to  knock  Joseph’s  and  the  dhobi'?, 
heads  together  ; but  I contented  myself  with  grabbing 
angrily  at  a couple  of  diminutive  white  coats, — manifestly 
those  I had  just  recently  purchased  in  order  to  make 
Joseph  look  smart  at  table. 

It  was  two  o’clock  before  we  reached  home,  so  I 
allowed  Joseph  to  coil  himself  up  again,  and  employed 
the  odd  hours  in  packing  up  for  myself.  To  my 
astonishment,  I found  that  some  common  red  bone 
studs  had  been  put  into  the  button-holes  of  one  shirt 


274 


PSEUDO-CHINAMEN 


instead  of  the  coral  ones  I always  used.  Joseph,  when 
aroused,  of  course  knew  nothing  about  it : hence  it 
plainly  must  be  Jumbo,  the  big  Kling  waiter;  or  his 
wife,  the  maid ; no  one  else  ever  came  to  that  corner 
of  the  hotel.  The  matter  was  so  grave  that  I at 
once  rou.sed  up  the  English  landlord,  and  demanded 
a strict  search.  No  studs  could  be  found  ; but  the 
landlord,  who  swore  by  Jumbo,  casually  remarked  that 
it  must  be  Joseph  himself,  as  the  lad  had  been  “drinking 
rather  freely,  and  spending  a good  deal  of  money.” 

This  disclosure  was  a great  staggerer  for  me,  as 
Joseph  was  not  only  a devout  Christian  and  a mere 
child,  but  also  a lad  I had  trusted  with  my  loose  cash 
every  day.  I proceeded  somewhat  reluctantly  to 
search  him  ; and  as  he  handed  me  his  purse  with 
great  nonchalance,  I was  on  the  point  of  magnanimously 
returning  it  to  him  unopened  just  as  frankly  as  he 
had  offered  it.  However,  on  searching  it,  sure  enough 
there  were  the  studs  and  sleeve-links  wrapped  up  in  a 
piece  of  cap-paper.  Joseph  did  not  lose  his  composure 
in  the  least,  but  said  : “ Some  one  must  have  put 
them  there  out  of  spite  and  jealousy.”  There  was  no 
time  to  lose;  so,  after  apologising  to  Jumbo  and  the 
rest,  off  I went  with  Josephus. 

As  the  steamer  wound  her  way  through  the  canals 
of  the  delta,  I was  recounting  these  suspicious  events 
to  the  deservedly  popular  Captain  Ballantine,  when  in 
marched  the  first  officer,  holding  Joseph  by  the  scruff 
of  the  neck  : he  was  charged  by  the  native  steward 


QUAMVIS  TU  CANDIDUS  ESSES  275 


with  the  theft  of  two  jackets,  duly  marked,  one  of 
which  he  had  on.  Naturally,  after  what  I had  just 
related,  the  captain  was  but  little  disposed  to  favour 
poor  Joseph  ; indeed,  when  I explained  that  I myself 
had  forcibly  seized  those  identical  jackets  (Joseph 
acting  as  my  guide)  at  i a.m.  that  very  morning,  he 
seemed  to  half  think  that  Joseph  and  I were  running 
hand-and-glove  in  the  old  clothes  trade. 

A French  priest  (the  “owner”  of  Joseph)  came  on 
board  a couple  of  days  later,  and  to  him  I narrated  both 
stories.  We  arranged  that  when  Joseph  should  go  to 
church  at  Mandalay  on  Sunday,  the  priest  should 
question  him,  suddenly  introducing  the  subject  of  coral 
studs  ; Joseph,  being  thus  taken  unawares,  and  imagin- 
ing some  spiritual  revelation,  at  last  confessed,  and  I 
forgave  him ; but,  that  very  night,  as  I emptied  my 
pockets  and  proceeded  to  my  bath  (Joseph  handing 
me  the  towels),  I found  that  six  rupees,  carefully  placed 
on  the  mirror,  had  suddenly  become  five  during  my 
short  toilet  operations.  Once  more  Joseph  was 
searched,  and  he  was  found  with  more  new  property 
and  small  money  than  he  could  account  for  ; but  the 
rupee  itself  had  either  been  swallowed  or  quickly  hidden 
away.  That  night  I sent  Joseph  home  to  the  priest, 
and  went  back  to  the  genuine  Chinese  article. 

AN  ANNAMESE  NOBLE 

“ On  ne  se  presse  pas  ici,"  remarked  the  solitary  French- 
man I met  on  the  “ concession  ” at  Hue  on  the  morning 


276 


PSEUDO-CHINAMEN 


of  my  arrival  in  January,  1892.  The  “pressure”  was, 
indeed,  so  slight,  not  to  say  invisible,  that,  for  want 
of  movement  of  any  kind,  I had  to  amuse  myself  as 
best  I could  for  a few  hours  by  walking  among  the 
country  lanes  beyond  the  French  quarter.  It  appeared 
to  me  that  I was  in  a region  of  timber-yards  or 
elephant  corrals,  for  nothing  was  visible  from  the 
paths  beyond  large  enclosures  hedged  in  all  round  by 
stockades  of  tall  rushes.  At  last  I came  to  one  with 
an  open  gate,  near  which  some  prettily-dressed  children 
were  playing.  They  seemed  pleased  when  I patted 
their  cheeks,  and  they  led  me  by  the  hand  to  a room 
in  the  house  inside,  where  a man  of  distinguished 
bearing  invited  me  to  sit  down  on  the  ^ang — a sort 
of  divan  for  two,  with  a small  squat  table  between 
(see  the  illustration  of  a yanien  interior).  As  he 
spoke  no  Chinese  or  P'rench,  and  I no  Annamese,  it 
became  necessary  to  make  signs  for  writing  materials. 
So  soon  as  he  learnt  I was  not  a Frenchman,  he 
betrayed  some  signs  of  uneasiness ; on  which  I wrote  : 
“ I am  a British  consul,  and  I have  come  here  to  see 
the  Emperor  to-morrow.  I should  like  to  ask  you  a 
few  questions.”  He  then  gave  an  order  to  one  of  the 
children,  who  brought  him  an  ignited  candle,  which 
he  set  between  us  on  the  table.  He  wrote:  “I  am 
one  of  the  court  officials,  and  my  name  is  X.”  Directly 
I had  read  this,  he  burnt  the  paper. 

The  well-educated  Coreans,  Annamese,  and  Japanese 
all  write  Chinese  perfectly,  except  that  they  occasionally 


THE  INTERIOR  OF  THE  TARTAR  GENERAl’s  AT  CANTON. 

(Illustrates  Annamese  Reception-room.)  \To  face  p.  "znt. 


WELCOME  THE  COMING  GUEST  277 


make  use  of  bastard  words,  introduced  to  express 
local  objects  or  ideas  unknown  to  the  Chinese,  very 
much  as  we  invent  scientific  or  barbarous  Greek  words 
to  express  modern  inventions.  Alongside  of  this  pure 
Chinese  they  also  use  for  their  own  vernacular  language 
a separate  form  of  script,  more  or  less  inspired  by 
Chinese  calligraphy  ; and  in  all  three  cases  the  spoken 
language  is  largely  reinforced  by  borrowed  Chinese 
words.  The  expression  pih-f  an,  or  “ pencil-conversa- 
tion,” is  employed  for  written  interviews  with  persons 
' who  do  not  speak  any  common  tongue,  but  who  can 
use  the  Chinese  character  independently  of  any  sound  : 
there  is  no  reason  whatever  why  Europeans  of  different 
nationality  should  not  use  Chinese  among  themselves 
in  the  same  dumb  way, — if  they  know  it. 

This  official  was  exceedingly  glad  to  obtain  political 
intelligence  from  the  outside  v/orld,  but  he  was  most 
careful  not  to  compromise  his  family  by  allowing  a 
single  word  written  by  himself  to  escape  the  inexorable 
candle-flame.  The  result  of  this  first  interview  was 
that  he  invited  me  to  dinner  for  the  evening  after  the 
audience  with  the  Emperor,  in  which  he  had  to  take 
official  part.  I had  only  been  there  as  a stranger  and 
a spectator,  amongst  a group  of  Frenchmen,  a number 
of  whom  at  each  New  Year’s  time  (Chinese  calendar) 
like  to  swell  the  suite  of  the  Resident,  and  at  the  same 
time  to  gratify  their  own  curiosity.  But  I found  my 
official  friend’s  palace  experience  very  useful  in  ex- 
plaining certain  points  in  the  Imperial  ceremonial  which 


278 


PSEUDO-CHINAMEN 


were  quite  new  to  me.  Of  course  he  had  not  a word 
to  say  against  the  French  protectorate  ; but  it  was 
evident  from  the  general  tenour  of  his  silent  con- 
versation that  he  felt  very  keenly  the  humiliation  into 
which  his  country  had  sunk ; and  he  presented  me  with 
a printed  copy  of  some  very  touching  Chinese  poems 
composed  by  his  deceased  father,  the  burden  of  which 
was  the  misfortune  of  his  native  land,  and  the  negli- 
gence, corruption,  and  incapacity  which  had  caused  it 
to  fall  under  foreign  dominion. 

Social  life  is  much  simpler  and  humbler  with  the 
Annamese  than  with  the  Chinese.  The  interiors,  even 
of  poor  houses,  are  cleaner  ; but  the  apartments  are 
less  solidly  built.  Even  men  of  rank  wear  no  stockings, 
and  often  go  barefoot,  without  even  the  shallow  slipper, 
which  can  be  kicked  off  at  any  moment.  The  cookery 
is  good,  and  there  is  a certain  simplicity  and  yet 
distinction  about  the  dress.  The  impression  left  upon 
me  by  this  solitary  instance  of  high-class  Annamese 
hospitality  was  decidedly  agreeable,  and  it  encouraged 
me  to  trust  myself  frequently  in  humbler  Annamese 
hands. 


SIC  TRANSIT  GLORIA 

The  history  of  the  Chinese  commercial  colonies  in 
the  Malay  Peninsula  is  very  interesting,  and  goes 
back  to  a time  when  Arabs  and  Mussulmans  were 
unheard  of ; but  the  state  of  Johore  is  not  mentioned 
until  about  three  hundred  years  ago,  and  Chinese 


AN  OLD  MALAY  STATE 


279 


history  distinctly  states  that  the  eunuch  ambassadors 
found  no  such  place  when  they  passed  through  the 
Straits  in  1405-20.  Some  account  of  the  reigning 
Sultan  Ibrahim  was  given,  with  a portrait,  in  one  of 
the  London  illustrated  newspapers  for  May,  1901  ; 
but,  when  I was  first  in  those  parts,  this  ruler  had 
not  yet  been  born.  I do  not  know  what  the  word 
Johore  means,  or  in  what  language  it  means  it ; but 
from  the  first  the  Chinese  traders  and  historians  have 
consistently  called  it  by  a fancy  name  meaning  “ Soft 
Buddha,”  and  pronounced  Yuhuk,  Yaofut,  etc.,  in  their 
various  dialects. 

In  1869  I visited  the  modern  palace  of  the  old  Rajah, 
or  Sultan,  Abu  Bakar,  in  Singapore  itself,  which  island, 
until  1819,  formed  part  of  the  Johore  dominions.  At 
first  we  followed  the  example  of  the  ancient  Chinese 
colonists,  and  made  our  Straits  Settlements  an  ap- 
pendage of  those  in  Sumatra  (which  we  had  not  yet 
resigned  to  the  Dutch).  It  was  not  until  1888  that  I 
actually  visited  Johore  itself,  which  town  is  separated 
by  a creek  from  the  island,  of  which  it  is  now,  with 
all  its  territory,  a mere  appendage.  I give  a picture 
of  the  identical  row  of  Chinese  shops  in  one  of  which 
I took  a breakfast  of  rice,  prawns,  and  tea  with  a 
hospitable  Chinese  shopkeeper,  who  showed  me  over 
the  place,  including  the  Chinese  temple,  the  gambler 
plantations,  and  so  on.  I have  since  then  visited 
most  of  the  Chinese  colonies  in  East  and  West  Siam  ; 
Upper,  Lower,  and  Maritime  Burma;  the  Malay 


28o 


PSEUDO-CHINAMEN 


Peninsula ; and  Annam ; and  can  safely  say  that  the 
true  secret  of  success  with  them  is  to  let  them  alone. 
There  are  three  million  Chinese  living  contentedly  in 
Siam,  which  appears  to  be  the  only  country,  besides 
England,  and  to  a great  extent  America,  which  is  free 
from  the  instinct  of  administrative  “meddling,”  so 
characteristic  of  the  Germans,  French,  and  Spaniards. 
Russia  “ meddles  ” only  when  she  is  politically  alarmed, 
and  is,  perhaps,  after  ourselves,  the  Power  most  con- 
genial to  the  Chinese  ; — with  this  important  difference, 
that  the  best  Chinese  are  often  political  supporters 
of  ourselves,  which  they  never  are  of  the  Russians, 
except  as  a pis-aller. 

Johore  was  once  the  most  powerful  state  in  these 
parts,  with  an  influence  extending  far  away  into 
Pahang,  Borneo,  Sumatra,  and  Java.  Previous  to  the 
arrival  of  the  Portuguese  and  the  Dutch,  the  Arabs, 
or  Arab  influences,  had  it  all  their  own  way.  As 
the  latter  extinguished  the  Hindoo  colonial  powers, 
so  have  they  in  turn  been  gradually  extinguished  by 
the  Europeans.  But  the  Chinaman  seems  to  have 
been  always  there,  within  historical  times  at  least,  and 
under  much  the  same  conditions  as  now.  At  present 
the  little  state  may  be  compared  with  Honolulu, 
in  so  far  as  the  declining  native  population  is  con- 
cerned, at  least  three-quarters  being  pure  Chinese ; 
the  remainder,  Malays  or  Javanese,  are  mostly  listless 
and  unprofitable  beings.  It  may  be  said  now  of  all 
the  Malay  kingdoms,  whether  nominally  independent. 


CRf  KK  DIVIDING  JOUOHE  FROM  SINGAPORE, 

(Shops  mentioned  on  page  279  to  right.)  [To  face  p.  280. 


MANKIND  FROM  CHINA  TO  PERU”  281 


British-protected,  nominally  Siamese,  or  Siam-protected, 
that  they  are  Chinese  to  the  same  extent  that  Peru 
and  Brazil  are  Spanish  or  Portuguese  ; moreover,  that 
they  are  Chinese  within  the  British  sphere,  and  subject 
to  direct  or  indirect  British  influence.  For  this  reason 
I have  occasionally  seized  an  opportunity  of  endea- 
vouring to  impress  upon  the  British  Government  the 
importance  of  conciliating  the  Chinese  race  from  a 
political  and  intellectual  point  of  view.  We  may  be 
at  war  with  the  Manchus,  or  we  may  be  worsted  in 
diplomacy ; but,  so  long  as  we  give  the  commercial 
and  self-governing  instincts  of  the  Chinese,  whether  at 
home  or  as  colonists,  a free  rein ; and  depart  not 
from  British  traditions  of  reasonableness,  we  need  have 
no  real  fear  of  German  or  French  competition  in  the 
South  Seas. 


CHAPTER  XIII 


DIS  TING  U I SHED  FOREIGNERS 
CHINESE  PROCESSIONS 

IT  requires  some  local  knowledge  to  be  able  to 
distinguish  clearly  between  a Celestial  funeral 
procession  and  a Celestial  wedding.  It  is  not  quite 
so  bad,  however,  in  China  as  it  is  in  Corea,  where 
local  custom  requires  the  bearers  of  the  coffin  to 
counterfeit  jollity  and  drunkenness,  singing  ribald 
songs,  and  swaying  the  coffin  from  side  to  side  as  they 
advance.  In  both  countries  it  is  the  mourning  costume 
(rather  than  any  difference  in  the  squeaky  music 
distinguishable  to  the  untrained  ear)  that  forms  the 
distinctive  feature  ; but  even  the  wailing  concubines 
in  their  sedan-chairs  crack  pea-nuts  and  smoke  pipes 
at  intervals  between  their  howls  of  simulated  anguish. 

Still  more  comic  is  the  sight  of  a viceroy’s 
tag-rag  and  bobtail  when  he  goes  to  pay  official 
visits.  By  law  he  is  bound  to  have  a certain 
number  of  retainers,  title-carriers,  police,  lictors, 
changes  of  clothes,  fan-bearers,  gong-beaters,  trum- 
peters, horsemen,  and  so  on.  Possibly  in  good 

282 


MOTLEY’S  THE  ONLY  WEAR”  283 


old  times  these  men  may  have  been  well-paid  and 
well-fed  retainers ; but  now  the  practice  is  for  the 
responsible  usher  to  go  out  into  the  lanes  and  the 
by-ways  in  order  to  make  a haul  of  “ the  poor,  the 
maimed,  the  halt,  and  the  blind  ” ; the  beggars  and 
street  Arabs  ; at  a penny  or  twopence  a head  for  the 
I morning’s  outing,  the  whole  forming  a gang  of  “ pitiful 
rascals”  such  as  Sir  John  Falstaff  used  to  muster 
! for  “ hasty  matters  in  the  king’s  affairs.”  Over  their 
rags  they  thrust  a tawdry  uniform  (usually  minus  the 
I trousers) ; on  their  dirty,  unkempt  pates  they  clap 
‘ a tall,  ill-fitting  lictor’s  hat,  about  thrice  the  height  of 

' that  of  Mr.  Tupman  when  he  went  to  Mrs.  Leo 

Hunter’s  garden  party,  and  strongly  resembling  our 
! “ dunces’  caps.”  The  viceroy  sees  nothing  of  these 

disreputable  scallywags,  for  immediately  before  and 
, behind  his  chair  are  a dozen  or  so  of  smartly  dressed, 
well-mounted  cavaliers,  secretaries,  and  footmen,  such 
as  are  represented  in  the  accompanying  picture  : he 
, sits  complacently  in  his  chair,  imagining  that  the 
whole  official  file  is  equally  smart,  and  little  dreaming 
that  he  is  merely  the  central  figure  of  a gang  of 
buffoons. 

On  several  occasions  when  I have  been  paying 
official  visits  in  the  consular  sedan,  my  bearers,  either 
by  accident  or  out  of  malice  prepense,  have  run  me, 

' in  turning  a corner,  just  into  the  middle  of  a funeral 
or  marriage  procession.  Exit  is  totally  impossible  ; 

, progress  is  absurdly  slow ; and  even  the  mourners 


284  DISTINGUISHED  FOREIGNERS 


or  feasters  are  pleased  to  have  among  them  a genuine 
barbarian  in  a smart  chair  in  order  to  swell  their 
own  importance.  The  situation  is  an  excruciatingly 
foolish  one  for  the  “ ocean  man.” 

On  the  arrival  of  the  distinguished  American  states- 
man Mr.  Seward  in  Peking,  an  amusing  incident 
occurred.  Out  of  deference  for  his  age  and  infirmities, 
it  had  been  arranged  to  carry  him  in  a mule-litter  ; 
but  the  rest  of  his  suite,  and  also  the  other  foreigners 
and  Chinese  accompanying  the  procession,  rode,  more 
Pekineitse,  on  ponies,  mules,  or  donkeys — chiefly 
donkeys  : the  general  effect  of  uniformed  United  States 
officers  riding  on  donkeys  was  as  absurd  as  that  of 
a native  marriage  procession.  Suddenly,  in  approach- 
ing their  Legation,  and  rounding  a bend  in  the  broad 
Peking  street,  the  eager  eyes  of  the  visitors  encountered 
a gorgeous  and  unwonted  spectacle  : smart  flags  and 
banners ; shrill  flutes  and  clanging  cymbals  ; bearers  of 
trousseaux,  pots,  pans,  wardrobes ; a gay,  closed  chair 
(containing  the  bride)  ; and  then  more  finery. 

“ Look  ! — look  ! ” said  some  of  the  local  malins, 
anxious  that  the  newly  arrived  American  guests  should 
miss  no  opportunity  of  gaining  a glimpse  into  genuine 
Peking  life;  “a  mandarin  marriage  procession!” 

The  marriage  people,  on  their  part,  were  specially 
delighted  with  the  negro  attendant  (on  his  donkey), 
who  never  left  Mr.  Seward’s  side  ; the  wedding  pro- 
cession even  stopped,  all  eyes  gleaming  with  interest 
and  pleasure,  and  gave  the  coloured  man  a hearty  cheer. 


Till-:  VICEROY  OE  CANTON  IN  HIS  SEDAN-CHAIR. 

(Illustrates  Processions.)  [To  face  p. 


MONARCH  OF  ALL  I SURVEY”  285 


The  unsophisticated  Americans  somehow  got  the 
notion  into  their  heads  that  this  “ mandarin  procession  ” 
was  a formal  welcome  to  their  distinguished  statesman 
sent  direct  from  the  Government  of  China  ; hitherto 
so  hold-offish,  so  determined  to  ignore  European  merit. 
So  old  Mr.  Seward  rose  in  his  litter,  bowing  right 
and  left  appreciatively  at  this  righteous,  but  at  the 
same  time  unexpected  recognition  of  the  disinterested 
policy  of  the  United  States,  which  he  seems  to  have 
mistaken  for  a State  welcome  into  the  capital,  such 
as  the  Czars  of  Muscovy  used  to  grant  to  foreign 
envoys. 


SIR  E.  B.  MALET  AMONG  THE  LIKIN  AND 
PHILOLOGY  MEN 

Sir  Edward  Malet  has  not  alluded  to  it  in  his 
Shifting  Scenes,  but,  as  a matter  of  fact,  on  September 
19,  1872,  he  was  stretched  not  over  luxuriously  upon 
a cane  bed,  attired  in  an  airy  suit,  removed  as  far 
as  possible  from  the  diplomatic,  in  a chamber  twelve 
feet  square  in  all,  together  with  three  others  similarly 
accommodated  and  attired  ; and  all  this  in  the  wilds 
of  the  Lii  Shan,  a splendid  range  of  mountains  some 
miles  behind  Kewkiang,  from  the  summit  of  which 
(six  thousand  feet  high)  there  is  a splendid  view  of 
the  Poyang  Lake,  and  of  the  flat  country  for  hundreds 
of  miles  round.  It  is  the  custom  for  climbers  to  leave 
a bottle  at  the  top,  containing  the  name  of  the  last 


286  DISTINGUISHED  FOREIGNERS 


arrival ; for  otherwise  each  man  with  a talent  for 
anecdote  is  apt  to  think  he  was  once  there,  unless  he 
is  nailed  down  to  the  written  evidence  of  the  bottle. 

I did  go  to  the  top,  but  Sir  E.  B.  Malet  never  saw 
that  bottle  ; he  was  somewhat  indisposed  and  feverish, 
after  a fatiguing  trip  to  Hankow  and  back,  and  now 
had  the  opportunity  at  Kewkiang  of  acquainting  him- 
self with  the  mysteries  of  the  likin  “ squeezes  ” upon 
British  tea. 

Anderson’s  famous  tea  likin  case  was  under  con- 
sideration, and  it  was  in  this  wise.  The  Chinese 
authorities  affected  to  charge  the  " grower’s  tax,”  as 
they  called  their  increased  likin,  upon  the  foreigner’s 
tea.  To  the  consul’s  argument  that  they  could  tax 
the  Chinese  grower  what  they  liked,  so  long  as  the 
foreigner  only  paid  to  that  grower  a definite  price 
for  his  tea,  and  so  long  as  the  mandarins  left  the  said 
foreigner  quitte  pour  payer  (as  M.  Zola  is  fond  of  say- 
ing) his  export  duties  after  purchase  made ; — to  this  | 
argument  the  authorities  had  for  long  turned  a deaf  ear, 
even  anterior  to  my  arrival,  not  to  say  to  Sir  Edward 
Malet’s ; so  that  diplomacy  could  not  advance  matters  ■ 
within  the  few  days  available,  and  Sir  Edward 
accordingly  “ reserved  to  himself  the  right  to  consider 
what  further  steps  ” he  would  take  in  the  matter.  The 
now  famous  Viceroy  Liu  K'un-yih  was  then  Governor  ; 
of  Kiang  Si,  and  a very  tough  one  he  was  too.  A i 
year  later  the  Ringdove  was  sent  up  to  demonstrate  I 
before  his  capital  (Nan-ch'ang  Fu)  ; but  Liu  K'un-yih  ) 

V 

i 


METHINKS  IT’S  LIKE  A WEASEL”  287 


is  not  the  man  to  be  afraid  of  a gunboat ; and  so 
he  simply  grinned  and  bore  it. 

It  is  possible  that  the  charming  conversation  of 
Sir  E.  B.  Malet  at  the  mountain  bungalow,  and  also 
a few  days  later  at  my  house,  may  have  so  drawn  out 
the  curiosity  of  his  audience  (Mr.  R.  P'rancis,  Mr. 
Hamilton,  Mr.  Fisher,  and  myself  were  on  the  hills) 
that  the  humorous  idea  of  “ Whiffles  ” suggested  itself 
to  him  in  later  years  from  the  recollection  of  one  of 
his  most  persistent  questioners.  At  all  events,  I have 
very  distinct  Brazilian  and  German  recollections  in  that 
connection,  and  some  of  these  are  artistically  recapitu- 
lated in  Shifting  Scenes.  One  point  touched  upon 
was  “ how  astonished  the  world  would  be  if  it 
only  knew  the  small  capacities  of  those  who  manage 
its  affairs.”  This  remark  certainly  could  never  recoil 
like  a boomerang  upon  Sir  E.  B.  Malet,  whose  re- 
appearance in  China  was  always  hoped  for  by 
merchant  and  consul  alike. 

But  this  outing  of  ours  chiefly  impressed  itself 
on  my  memory  from  an  interesting  etymological 
discovery  I made  en  route.  One  of  the  plants  on 
the  mountain  road  was  described  to  me  by  a chair- 
coolie  as  f iy  and  by  another  as  diiao-fi\  the  latter 
combination  was  a double  puzzle,  for  the  local  dialect 
made  no  difference  between  the  sounds  k'iao  and  tsiao. 
Under  these  embarrassing  circumstances  a Buddhist 
priest  was  invited  from  the  neighbouring  hermitage 
to  come  to  the  bungalow  ; — not  to  give  us  absolution. 


} 

288  DISTINGUISHED  FOREIGNERS  j 

but  because  priests  are  the  only  learned  men  in  these 
wild  parts.  The  priest  totally  denied  all  knowledge 
of  such  a name  as  and  warmly  said  it  was 
simply  camellia  (cli  a),  or  the  “tea  plant.”  I believe 
Sir  Edward’s  general  experience  was  then  craved,  in 
order,  if  possible,  to  solve  the  mystery  on  world-wide 
botanical  principles.  All  the  “ boys  ” stoutly  swore 
it  was  cli  a.  The  original  coolie  was  next  summoned  ; 
and  he  reasseverated,  appealing  to  our  common 
fairness,  that  it  was  clCiao-cli  iao-fi, — thereby  adding 
a third  syllable  to  his  former  puzzle.  I forget  who 
ultimately  penetrated  the  enigma ; but  it  transpired 
that  the  polite  coolie  was  endeavouring  to  talk  English 
for  our  benefit,  and  wanted  to  say  it  was  tea  (/'/) 
for  us  to  chow-chow  \ — I may  here  state  that  chow, 
or  chow-chow,  is  the  “ pidgin  ” for  “ eat,”  but  I am 
not  aware  that  it  has  ever  been  explained  by  the 
learned  how  the  word  “ got  there,”  for  it  is  not 
Chinese  in  any  dialect. 

ARCHDEACON  GRAY 

This  genial  cleric  was  a remarkable  instance  of  how 
completely  the  Chinese  of  all  ranks  are  willing  to 
surrender  themselves  frankly  to  any  influence  which 
impresses  them  as  being  just  and  pure.  The  power 
which  Archdeacon  Gray  possessed  in  Canton,  at  least 
previous  to  his  marriage,  was  something  quite  phe- 
nomenal, and  I am  not  sure  but  what  at  one  time  it 


“BORN  TO  BLUSH  UNSEEN”  289 

somewhat  piqued  Sir  Brooke  Robertson,  whose  steady 
political  influence  was  totally  free  from  anything  in  the 
least  approaching  showiness.  Over  and  over  again 
have  I accompanied  Archdeacon  Gray  with  a friend 
or  two  on  Sandford-and-Merton-like  excursions  into 
the  city  mazes.  To  one  who  does  not  understand 
Cantonese,  Canton  is  at  first  a dangerous  labyrinth ; 
in  many  respects  it  closely  resembles  the  streets  and 
bazaars  of  Tunis,  but  tenfold  multiplied  ; and  any 
foolish  gaping  at  once  attracts  a mischievous  crowd. 
Shopkeepers  always  rose  to  their  feet  the  instant 
Archdeacon  Gray  entered  the  premises  ; beggars  and 
lepers  hailed  him  in  the  streets  ; rough  coolies  clapped 
him  familiarly  on  the  back ; and  genuine  Chinese 
ladies  of  rank  and  station  allowed  him  to  “ per- 
sonally conduct”  parties  into  their  gardens,  and  even 
into  their  boudoirs.  In  fact,  the  only  occasion,  during 
the  whole  of  my  residence  in  China,  on  which  I had 
a good  look  at  a lady’s  interior  apartments  was  when 
Archdeacon  Gray  led  me,  quite  unchallenged,  through 
the  house  or  mansion  of  the  celebrated  Howqua  family. 
It  was  most  amusing.  There  sat  the  old  lady,  like 
Mrs.  Wardle  mere,  crooning  on  a daYs,  surrounded 
by  her  maids ; they  knitting,  holding  the  mistress’s 
pipe,  and  discoursing  soft  (?)  music.  We  two  youngsters 
stood  at  the  door  and  listened  to  the  explanations  of 
our  mentor  or  showman.  “ There,  Mr.  Parker,  you 
will  observe  the  small  feet  of  Mrs.  Howqua,  junior, 
to  the  right ; below  sits  the  ingenuous  handmaid, 

19 


I 


290  DISTINGUISHED  FOREIGNERS 

whose  feet,  you  will  notice,  are  large,  as  it  befits  her 
exiguous  rank,”  and  so  on. 

The  venerable  guide  was  rather  fond  of  sonorous 
language,  and  a good  story  is  told  of  the  Duke  of 
Edinburgh’s  visit  to  the  intramural  Consulate.  The  deer 
were  called  up  to  the  park  gate,  and  the  Archdeacon 
(who  really  spoke  very  mediocre  Chinese)  asked  the 
keeper  why  they  did  not  come. 

The  man  (as  Chinese  habitually  do  when  they  have 
not  understood)  grinned  stupidly,  and  said  : “ Aw  ! ” 
Being  pressed  by  the  Archdeacon,  he  added 
(“  no  got ! ”). 

“ What  does  he  say  ? ” asked  Prince  Alfred  eagerly. 

“ Your  royal  highness,  the  man  says  that,  look 
whithersoever  he  will,  he  really  cannot  discern  the 
whereabouts  of  the  deer.” 

“ A d expressive  language,  the  Chinese ! ” 

muttered  the  amused  prince  to  his  friends. 

But,  notwithstanding  these  little  peculiarities,  which 
were  immortalised  in  a book  he  wrote  before  his 
marriage — so  strange  in  language  that  it  had  to  be 
called  in  and  re-edited — Archdeacon  Gray  was  a 
kind  and  sterling  man,  and  in  many  ways  was  the 
Winnington-Ingram  of  the  “City  of  Rams”:  he  was 
also  a warm  friend  of  mine,  and  even  honoured  me 
by  dining  with  me  occasionally.  This  was  a very 
rare  distinction  in  his  bachelor  days,  when  he  used 
to  work  hard  all  day  at  a rural  retreat.  There  he 
kept  his  papers,  and  only  came  home  to  sleep.  Too 


AND  THE  FLOW  OF  SOUL 


291 


often  he  surrendered  his  own  house  to  European 
inebriates,  released  or  repentant  criminals,  and  occa- 
sionally humbugs,  who  used  to  come  up  from  Hongkong 
to  abuse  his  simple  credulousness  and  hospitality.  He 
was  an  exceedingly  handsome  man,  with  a frank, 
kindly,  generous  face  ; he  was  never  seen,  even  in  the 
hottest  sun  or  heaviest  rain,  except  with  a tall  hat 
on,  and  in  full  clerical  attire,  fashioned  out  of  black 
silk  or  alpaca : he  was  never  known  to  be  angry,  and 
he  never  refused  anything  at  all  reasonable  asked  of 
him  in  the  way  of  charity  ; above  all,  he  never  tried 
to  forcibly  “convert”  us  sinners,  for  which  we  were 
all  deeply  grateful.  When  he  went  away  in  1875,  he 
was  accompanied  to  the  steamer  by  a huge  crowd, 
bearing  flags,  banners,  and  “ popular  ” umbrellas ; 
clanging  gongs  and  letting  off  crackers ; with  more 
Mat  than  even  the  most  popular  of  viceroys.  After 
his  marriage  and  return  to  Canton,  his  influence  waned 
a little,  for  the  Chinese  do  not  approve  of  married 
priests  ; at  all  events,  they  revere  celibacy  more ; and, 
besides,  so  tender-hearted  a man  as  the  Archdeacon 
naturally  found  new  cares  and  interests,  which  severed 
many  of  his  old  Chinese  ties. 

His  parting  sermon  in  1875  was  the  occasion  of  a 
remarkable  bathos.  Sir  Brooke  Robertson,  living  in 
the  yanicn^  rarely  came  to  church  ; but  he  did  so  on 
this  occasion.  Everyone  was  there,  and  the  Archdeacon 
was  just  drawing  the  tears  from  all  eyes  by  his  melli- 
fluous words  of  parting,  when  a Chinaman  walked 


292  DISTINGUISHED  FOREIGNERS 

in  and  whispered  something  to  a missionary.  The 
missionary  silently  walked  out.  Then  some  one  else 
walked  out.  Then  some  one  whispered  to  Sir  Brooke, 
and  he  to  the  vice-consul ; on  this  they  and  I walked 
out — I out  of  curiosity.  This  was  the  signal  for  a 
general  stampede  : a fire  had  occurred  at  Mr.  Noyes’ 
house,  and  in  five  minutes  Sir  Brooke  was  “ directing 
salvage  operations  ” ; the  congregation  was  scaling 
rafters  and  pitching  furniture  about ; and — a cloud 
overspread  the  Archdeacon’s  features.  But  still  he 
never  showed  anger  ; indeed,  he  had  not  done  so  even 
on  a memorable  occasion  when  once  attacked  in  the 
country  by  a mob.  To  use  his  own  words  : “ Would 
you  believe  it,  Mr.  Hardy?  They  laid  hands  upon  me. 
They  cast  me  down.  They  seized  upon  my  clothes, 
and  they  rent  them.  Having  placed  me  prostrate  on 
the  ground,  they  tore  off  my  trousers,  raised  my  shirt, 
and  regarded  my  abdomen  ! ” 

SIR  SAMUEL  BAKER,  PASHA 

A MISSIONARY  named  Grundy  once  applied  at  Canton 
for  a passport  to  travel  in  the  interior,  but  as  he  had 
not  sent  his  dollar  fee,  it  was  necessary  to  write  to 
him  at  Hongkong  and  state  that  the  sum  in  question 
was  due.  I forget  exactly  how  the  matter  got  en- 
tangled, but  when  the  approaching  daily  steamer  was 
announced  by  the  usual  steam-whistle,  one  of  the 
t’ ing-ch^ ais.  was  sent  down  to  meet  it,  so  that  Mr. 


WHAT  WILL  MRS.  GRUNDY  SAY?”  293 


Grundy,  if  there,  might  not  have  the  trouble  of  walking 
in  the  hot  sun  up  to  the  Consulate ; or  so  that,  if  not 
there,  the  mate  might  receive  the  passport  in  exchange 
for  the  dollar.  An  open  letter,  or  “ chit,”  was  given 
to  the  Chinaman,  who  was  told  to  ask  for  “ Missi 
Grundy,”  or  “ Missi  Grundy  letter  ; ” collect  the  dollar, 
and  hand  him  or  the  mate  the  passport  (but  only  if 
he  got  the  dollar) ; stating  to  him  that  he  would  just 
have  time  to  get  into  the  city  gate  before  sunset ; or 
to  start  at  once  inland,  if  that  were  his  intention.  It 
was  Saturday,  and  of  course  the  Consulate  was  closed 
on  Sunday. 

By  and  by  the  messenger  came  back  to  me,  in  a 
flushed  and  excited  state,  with  a pencil  message : 
“ I don’t  know  what  this  fellow  means  by  addressing 
me  as  ‘ Mrs.  Grundy,’  and  I object  to  giving  him  a 
dollar.  S.  B.” 

I at  once  sent  word  back  verbally  that  “ no  dollar, 
no  can  catchee  paper.”  The  f ing-cli  ai  had  also 
brought  a cover  containing  the  passport,  which,  he 
said,  “ Missi  Galunti  no  wanchee.” 

While  all  this  was  going  on,  the  mails  from  the 
steamer  came  in,  and  the  consul  (who  lived  in  the 
city,  and  was  anxious  to  get  back  before  the  gates 
were  shut)  was  hastily  overhauling  his  letters.  So  was 
I ; but  in  the  midst  of  this  innocent  occupation  I 
heard  a jnouvenient  outside,  and  the  t'ing-cJi  ai  ran  in 
to  say : " Missi  Galunti  have  come  he-selfu.” 

I looked  out,  and  saw  a stalwart,  bearded  man  of 


294  DISTINGUISHED  FOREIGNERS 


most  unclerical  appearance, — suggesting  as  little  as 
possible  the  illustrious  name  he  had  scornfully  rejected, — 
excitedly  walking  across  the  “ compound,”  and  mopping 
his  heated  brow ; a card  was  brought  in  to  me  inscribed : 
“ Sir  Samuel  Baker,  Pasha.” 

At  that  instant  the  consul  came  into  my  room  and 
began : “ I say,  here’s  a letter  from  Pope  Hennessy, 

saying ” when  I interrupted  him  by  showing  him 

the  card,  and  asking : “ What  on  earth  does  all  this 
mean  ? ” 

However,  I heard  no  more ; the  consul  rushed  out 
and  invited  the  mysterious  stranger  into  his  private 
room,  where  a lively  discussion  in  high  tones  went  on 
for  some  time.  Neither  of  us  had  the  remotest  idea 
that  Sir  Samuel  Baker  was  even  “ east  of  Suez,  etc.,  etc.,” 
where  (vide  Mr.  Kipling). 

By  degrees  it  transpired  that  Governor  John  Pope 
Hennessy  had  been  entertaining  the  newly-arrived  Sir 
Samuel  Baker  and  his  wife  the  day  before,  and  had 
promised  personally  to  write  to  the  consul  in  order 
that  a diiig-cJiai  might  meet  them,  and  that  they 
might  see  as  mmch  of  Canton  as  possible  during  forty 
hours ; that  is,  before  the  steamer  should  return  to 
Hongkong  early  on  the  following  Monday  morning. 
Sir  Samuel  had  got  the  mate  (as  per  local  custom) 
to  overhaul  the  “ loose  letters,”  in  order  that  he  might 
make  sure  that  the  Governor  had  not  forgotten  to  write. 
There  was  the  O.H.M.S.  cover  right  enough ; but  the 
Governor’s  letter  had  come  through  the  post-office. 


I AM  NO  ORATOR,  AS  BAKER  IS  295 

and  the  loose  official  letter  was  the  consular  cover  in 
which  Mr.  Grundy  had  been  requested  to  send  his 
reply  or  his  dollar : at  least  (if  my  memory  be  in- 
accurate), the  inextricable  confusion  had  arisen  in  a 
way  analogous  to  that  described.  However  that  may 
be,  it  was  too  late  for  Lady  Baker  to  leave  the  steamer 
and  “ catch  the  gate  ” that  night,  and  the  consul  had 
therefore  perforce  to  return  within  the  walls  alone,  and 
send  Sir  Samuel  back  to  pass  the  night  on  board  the 
steamer.  All  this  explanation  came  out  the  next  day  at 
“ tiffin  ” in  the  yamen,  when  I had  the  honour  to  meet 
the  distinguished  pair  of  travellers,  and  to  contribute 
my  quota  to  the  solution  of  the  aforesaid  mystery. 

Curiously  enough.  Sir  Samuel’s  successor  in  the 
Soudan,  Colonel  Gordon,  had,  only  two  months  pre- 
viously, also  come  up  to  Canton  for  a week  end : he 
likewise  missed  the  gate,  and  drifted  into  my  company 
for  a short  time. 


AN  IMPERIAL  AMBASSADOR 

After  ten  days  of  wet  weather,  sloppy,  grimy  inns, 
and  absence  of  sunshine,  I sallied  out  one  bright 
morning,  amid  the  chirping  of  birds  and  the  waking 
up  of  nature,  from  the  tiny  walled  city  of  Wu-ch'wan 
in  North  Kwei  Chou  : perhaps  the  absolute  extremity 
of  Chinese  poverty  and  simplicity  is  reached  in  this 
remote  region.  I was  marching  in  the  hot  sun  ahead 
of  the  official  chair,  clad  in  absolutely  nothing  but  a 


2cj6  distinguished  FOREIGNERS 


pair  of  white  canvas  shoes,  a duck  pantalon,  and  a 
gauze  singlet.  An  enormous  pith  hat  and  an  umbrella 
with  extra  white  cover  completed  a costume  more 
sans-gme  than  official.  Neither  Chang-erh  nor  Wang-erh 
cared  one  straw  about  either  the  air  or  the  colouring 
of  nature  : their  only  anxiety  was  that  I should  keep 
far  enough  on  ahead  not  to  shame  them  out  of  their 
cheap  bamboo  sedans,  and  thus  force  them  to  walk. 

We  had  lost  sight  of  the  town,  crossed  several 
ranges  of  hills,  and  at  last  plunged  into  a charming  valley, 
through  which  ran  a rippling  river.  Looking  on  ahead, 
I observed  that  we  had  to  cross  a long  “stepping- 
stone  ” bridge — i.e.  drums  of  stone  are  set  in  the 
river  at  distances  of  two  feet,  and  you  have  to  jump 
from  one  to  the  other.  In  fine  weather  this  is  all  very 
well,  but  when  the  torrent  is  raging  and  the  wind 
blowing,  the  sensation  of  staggering  about  inside  a chair 
is  far  from  pleasant ; hence  I made  for  a small  temple 
or  shrine  on  the  road-side  in  order  to  wait  and  see 
our  cavalcade  across,  and  to  carry  my  own  valuables. 
As  I approached  the  tiny  joss-house,  a remarkably 
clean  and  spruce  Chinaman,  apparently  of  the  well- 
to-do  salt-tradesman-«/;«-purchased-title  class,  rode  up 
on  a sleek  mule,  hitched  his  beast  to  the  door-post  of 
the  little  temple,  and  stepped  in  under  cover. 

In  China  every  one  dismounts  on  meeting  a “bigger 
man  ” than  himself,  unless  he  can  se  sauver  round  a 
friendly  corner : here  the  paved  road  was  only  fourteen 
inches  wide,  with  impossibilities  at  both  sides.  I was 


ESTA  NUNCA  VISTA  AVENTURA”  297 


astonished  at  the  spectacle  of  so  much  wealth  in  a 
district  where  hard  lumps  of  salt  are  “ gold,”  and  where 
potatoes  and  maize  are  the  only  things  to  spend  it  on. 
I turned  to  question  him,  and  was  then  still  more 
astonished  to  find  a Celestial  with  so  bright  and 
intelligent  a face.  He  had  his  huge  straw  hat  on,  but 
I he  at  once  removed  it  so  as  to  deferentially  “ drop  his 
pigtail.” 

Suddenly  an  idea  struck  me  : “ Vous  etes  frangais, 
MonsieurP 

“ Mais  out,  Monsieur!'  He  conned  me  suspiciously, 
as  though  to  say:  “You  are  a queer-looking  man 
to  speak  French.” 

His  name  was  Decouvre,  of  the  Missions  Etrangeres, 
1 and  he  was  on  his  usual  pastoral  rounds.  My  caravan 
was  still  some  distance  off,  and  I therefore  proposed, 
li  looking  towards  it,  to  offer  him  a cigar  ; he  carried 
L some  claret  in  his  wallet  (probably  altar  wine)  which  he 
I'  generously  asked  me  to  share.  He  said  doubtfully : 

I 

I “ Are  you  with  the  great  man  ? ” 

I “ What  great  man  ? ” 

^ , 1 

j,  “ On  pretend  qu' un  grand ambassadeur  imperial  va  venir!' 

I He  had  precipitately  descended  from  his  mule  lest  the 
j satellites  of  the  ambassadorial  personage  should  “ shove 
, him  off”  as  he  stood  betwixt  the  wind  and  my  nobility. 

1 However,  here  was  my  procession.  First  came 
I Wang-erh  and  Chang-erh,  both  asleep,  with  their 
tongues  hanging  out,  their  wretched  coolies  grunting 
dismal  notes  in  cadence  as  they  perspired  and 


298  DISTINGUISHED  FOREIGNERS 


floundered  along  ; then  came  my  green  chair,  rakishly 
cocked  on  one  side  to  ease  the  light-hearted  bearers’ 
shoulders — the  extra  crew  were  cracking  jokes  and 
munching  pea-nuts ; last,  came  the  big  baggage  trunk, 
just  like  a coffin.  The  French  priest  still  looked 
nervously  in  the  direction  whence  I had  come,  but  I 
assured  him  there  was  no  one  else  of  quality  on  the 
road.  “ Then,”  he  said,  “ that  empty  chair  must  be 
the  ambassador’s  chair  ; but  where  is  the  great  man  ? ” 
At  last  it  came  out  that  I myself  was  the  individual 
in  question ; and  it  seems  reports  had  been  spread 
throughout  the  length  and  breadth  of  the  land  that 
I had  been  commissioned  (query,  by  whom)  to 
enquire  into  everything  and  deal  summarily  with 
everybody.  As  no  Chinese  convert  of  any  rank  can 
even  sit  down  unasked  in  a French  priest’s  presence, 
not  to  say  ride  in  a chair,  it  is  not  difficult  to 
picture  his  confusion  of  mind  on  beholding  a fat  cook 
and  a lanky  ing-cJi  ai  taking  their  ease  in  chairs, 
whilst  the  great  man  himself  tramped  about  in  a 
shilling  singlet.  Ah!  bah!  ces  Anglais! 


HOW  THE  CHINESE  TELEGRAPHS  USED 
TO  WORK 

Some  one  is  said  to  have  defined  diplomacy  as  the 
art  of  manipulating  truth  for  the  advantage  of  one’s 
country ; but  it  is  more  charitable  to  suppose  that 
well-meaning  men  become  so  inoculated  with  the 


A TANGLED  WEB  WE  WEAVE 


299 


suspicions  inseparable  from  their  calling  that  some- 
times they  have  a difficulty  in  recognising  the  truth 
when  it  is  submitted  to  them,  especially  when  they 
imagine  their  own  repute  for  sagacity  is  endangered. 

The  capital  of  Corea  has,  from  the  beginning  of 
foreign  intercourse,  been  a place  where  mares’  nests 
and  revolutions  have  had  mushroom  growth.  In  the 
winter  of  1884  the  outs  made  a murderous  onslaught 
upon  the  ins  ; the  Post  Office  was  destroyed  during 
the  diplomatic  dinner  which  inaugurated  its  one 
day’s  total  existence ; and  the  foreign  envoys  were 
only  too  glad  to  escape  with  their  lives  to  their 
respective  residences.  Immediately  after  this  event 
Sir  Harry  Parkes  invited  me  to  begin  a new  career 
in  that  troublous  country,  having  judged  from  the 
results  of  the  Wenchow  rising  that  there  was  reason- 
able ground  for  presuming  a capacity  to  deal  gently 
with  such  weaknesses  of  human  nature  as  were 
likely  to  be  generated  in  a soil  so  fertile  in  make- 
believe  situations  as  that  of  Corea. 

After  nearly  two  years’  initiation,  during  which 
one  foolish  Chinese  ballon  d'essai  was  pricked  (in 
the  manner  already  described),  I heard  rumours  of 
strange  complications  in  the  capital.  Several  diplo- 
matists came  down  to  Chemulpho  to  ask  my 
assistance  quietly ; but  as  it  was  no  part  of  my  duty 
to  thrust  myself  forward,  I contented  myself  with 
doing  all  I could  to  dispel  misunderstandings,  and 
I to  support  the  action  of  my  own  able  chief,  who. 


300  DISTINGUISHED  FOREIGNERS 


on  his  part,  availed  himself  almost  daily  of  this 
modest  support.  But  severe  illness  forced  him  to  leave 
the  country  very  suddenly : he  accepted  the  hospi- 
tality of  my  house,  and  invited  me  to  acquaint  myself 
with  the  papers  he  had  left  at  Soul,  indispensable  to 
rescue  his  fellow-workers  from  the  prevailing  con- 
fusion. But,  as  his  successor  was  daily  expected,  I 
contented  myself  with  writing  to  welcome  the  latter, 
in  order  to  offer  him  my  best  services  ; announcing 
my  intention  to  leave  to  the  departing  incumbent  the 
full  credit  of  having  secured  a safe  anchorage  amidst 
a maze  of  dangers.  But  urgent  messages  represented 
to  me  even  more  forcibly  than  he  had  done  the  duty 
of  proceeding  at  once  to  Soul  in  the  general  public 
interest. 

The  very  first  person  I encountered  at  Soul  asked  : 
“ What  is  wrong  ? How  is  it  they  say  you  cannot 
be  trusted  ? ” 

My  reply  to  this  was  : “ Why,  every  one  knows  I 
have  just  been  doing  my  best  to  put  the  mess 
straight,  and  have  succeeded  fairly  well.” 

“ I know  you  have  ; but  there,  in  black  and  white, 
is  the  evidence  of  what  I say.” 

“ Probably  it  is  a foolish  mistake.” 

The  following  day  I visited  all  the  seven  or  eight 
diplomatists,  and  discovered  that,  owing  to  the  general 
muddle,  half  of  them  viewed  the  other  half  with  a 
suspicion  appi'oaching  hostility.  The  Corean  mob 
had  so  exaggerated  the  bearing  of  baseless  rumours 


THE  COKEAN  HEIR-APPARENT  STANDING  BEHIND  I HE  KING. 

{To  Jiice  p.  300. 


“BASELESS  FABRIC  OF  THIS  VISION”  301 


that  one  diplomatist  had  even  packed  his  family  and 
belongings  into  carts,  with  the  intention  of  sending 
them  for  safety  to  Chemulpho ; his  own  intention, 
of  course,  being  not  to  fly  from  danger.  He  said  : 
“ I bear  no  personal  ill-will  on  account  of  this 
mistake  ” (the  origin  of  which  he  proved  to  me), 
“ but  I do  not  like  advantage  to  be  taken  of  a 
manifest  error,  which  I condone,  in  order  to  impute 
blame  to  us  and  to  gain  a political  advantage.  It  is 
not  generous.” 

I replied  that  I would  do  my  utmost  to  smooth 
matters  over  honourably  without  hurting  any  one’s 
/eelings,  and  that  it  was  quite  certain  no  high  British 
authority  was  conscious  of  or  would  countenance 
anything  of  the  kind  he  seemed  to  believe  me 
cognisant  of ; moreover,  that  I was  myself  somewhat 
nonplussed  at  certain  contradictions. 

Not  understanding  the  origin  of  these  strange 
suspicions  about  myself,  I left  Soul  at  once,  deter- 
mined to  avoid  all  connection  with  diplomatic  mystery 
until  the  matter  should  have  been  explained  in  a 
straightforward  way.  But  no  such  explanations  were 
obtainable ; added  to  which  I noticed  at  Chemulpho 
with  some  uneasiness  that  some  of  my  own  telegrams 
received  did  not  seem  to  correspond  with  the  tenour 
of  those  sent.  Thinking  it  possible  that  the  Soul 
telegraph-office  was  at  fault,  I proceeded  thither  once 
more,  requesting  to  see  the  originals.  The  Chinese 
clerk  at  once  spontaneously  handed  to  me  all  telegrams 


302  DISTINGUISHED  FOREIGNERS 


sent  and  received  by  officials  of  all  nationalities  during 
a period  of  several  months  back. 

While  all  this  was  going  on,  things  were  further 
complicated  by  a man  telegraphing  to  me  to  “ re- 
consider my  statement  of  the  truth,”  and  then  writing 
to  say  that  he  himself  had  unwittingly  caused  the 
whole  trouble.  He  also  had,  it  appeared,  detained  my 
telegram,  and  thus  brought  on  the  unintelligible  replies. 

Meanwhile,  a diplomatist  (whose  honesty  of  purpose 
I at  once  recognised)  evinced  both  suspicion  and 
alarm,  and  I therefore  had  to  announce  to  him  my 
intention  not  to  be  deterred  by  baseless  suspicions, 
and  my  determination  to  resist  anything  resembling  a 
menace.  I was  quite  prepared  (I  added)  to  carry  the 
matter  before  the  highes't  possible  authorities  in  Europe. 

At  this  disagreeable  stage  I received  two  messages  : 
“ We  jointly  repudiate  the  particular  suspicion  charged 
upon  you  in  one  of  our  names  ; we  never  gave  our 
sanction.  We  think  X.  has  deceived  you,  and  trust 
you  will  not  make  us  all  look  foolish.” 

I asked  : “ Why  this  reserve  about  one  particular 
charge?  I do  not  admit  the  justice  of  any  charge 
of  bad  faith  at  all.  X.  seems  to  have  shown  some 
meanness ; but  I decline  to  accuse  him,  or  to  state 
anything  I do  not  know  to  be  true ; besides,  you 
yourselves  were  cognisant  of  his  mistake  before  you 
exposed  me  to  this  risk.” 

My  successor  had  now  arrived ; and,  therefore, 
having  already  declined  to  serve  in  the  absence  of 


HE  THAT  RUNS  MAY  READ 


303 


any  frank  explanation  from  the  diplomats  concerned, 
I left  Corea. 

My  successor  did  not  know  how  I had  settled  the 
matter  at  the  moment  I left.  It  was  thus : I first 
passed  over  diplomacy  altogether,  and  recorded  the 
truth  as  I believed  it ; and  there  it  remains,  if  any  one 
wishes  and  has  a right  to  ask  for  it.  As  to  the  mere 
brawl  or  personal  question,  I reflected  that  my  chief 
adversary  had  acted  in  good  faith ; two  of  the  other 
three  had  been  placed  in  such  an  involved  and  difficult 
situation  that  extenuating  circumstances  were  allowable. 
The  third  was  doubtful,  but  kindly  disposed.  I felt 
that  no  one  of  the  four  either  could  or  durst  injure  me 
in  an  open  way,  and  I therefore  decided  to  take 
the  whole  blame  of  the  misunderstanding  on  myself, 
and  thus  summarily  and  peremptorily  cut  the  matter 
short.  At  the  same  time  I wrote  to  say  that  I ex- 
pected the  expressions  of  suspicion  to  be  withdrawn, 
and  would  never  rest  until  they  were.  Of  none  of 
the  four  concerned  have  I at  any  period,  then  or 
since,  asked  the  slightest  favour. 

Many  ambassadors  and  ministers  in  Europe,  in 
active  service  or  retired,  are  quite  familiar  with  the 
particulars  of  this  case.  Possibly  they  regard  it,  as 
I have  always  wished  to  do,  as  a mere  chinoiserie. 
If  they  doubt  the  fairness  of  what  I say,  let  them  stand 
forward  face  to  face  with  me.  The  present  satisfac- 
tion suffices  for  me  now,  for  I feel  that  I occupy  a 
more  generous  standpoint  than  the  best  of  them. 


CHAPTER  XIV 


RAISING  THE  WIND 

CHANG-^RH’S  WINNINGS 
LTHOUGH  I knew  that  Chang-erh  neither 


drank  nor  gambled  in  the  ordinary  sense,  yet 
I thought  it  good  policy  to  harp  upon  his  one  re- 
deeming vice  in  a generally  preventive  sense,  and 
accordingly  I took  advantage  of  his  heart  being 
too  large  for  monopoly  by  one  woman,  periodically 
to  “ talk  at  ” those  reprehensible  persons  who  spent 
their  time  in  drinking,  gaming,  and  the  stews. 
Notwithstanding  his  similarity  in  many  respects  to 
Mr.  Samuel  Weller,  there  was  a strain  of  the  Job 
Trotter  in  Chang-erh’s  composition,  and  he  often 
brushed  away  a tear  at  the  thought  that  his  master 
was  so  dense  as  to  suspect  him  of  drinking  and 
smoking  opium. 

One  day  he  came  in  his  best  clothes  (which,  he 
always  explained  on  these  rare  occasions,  he  put 
on  to  increase  my  dignity)  to  ask  for  two  days’ 
leave  in  order  to  go  to  Macao  (from  Canton).  I 


304 


OMNIA  MEA  MECUM  PORTO 


305 


readily  gave  it,  but  on  broad  principles  I considered 
it  best  to  trot  out  the  old  growl  about  the  saloons, 
the  bagnios,  and  the  stews. 

Two  days  later  Chang-erh  returned  as  I was  taking 
my  afternoon  tea  on  the  verandah,  and,  with  an  injured 
air,  threw  down  a bundle  on  the  table  before  me. 
“ I’ve  won  these  two  hundred  dollars  at  the  Macao 
lottery.  I didn’t  like  to  tell  you  why  I wanted  leave 
until  I had  secured  the  money.  I do  not  gamble,  but 
I have  recently  taken  lottery  tickets,  in  the  full  belief 
that  Heaven  would  reward  a just  man.  I came  empty- 
handed  into  the  world,  and  empty-handed  I go  out 
of  it.  Man  grows  out  of  the  ground  [he  did  not 
explain  this  process],  and  returns  to  the  ground.  I 
give  you  these  dollars  : you  are  my  master,  and  you 
once  clothed  me  with  an  old  singlet.  I have  followed 
you  for  over  ten  years  [this  was  in  1879],  and  no 
one  else  can  tolerate  my  rigid  character.  I never 
make  squeezes  ; your  money  is  as  my  money.  I wish 
you  to  apply  these  two  hundred  dollars  to  my  benefits, 
as  you  think  proper.” 

Chang-erh  felt  so  sorry  for  himself  in  thus  con- 
templating the  wicked  world  he  was  obliged  to  live 
in,  that  he  turned  round  to  conceal  his  emotion,  and 
to  transfer  his  tears  to  the  cuff  of  his  shirt. 

“ Well,”  said  I,  “ you  need  not  brag.  I never  saw 
much  good  in  you,  and  I only  keep  you  because 
I am  accustomed  to  you,  and  you  make  a good 
curry.” 


20 


3o6 


RAISING  THE  WIND 


It  was  then  arranged  that  I should  keep  one  hundred 
dollars  for  him,  and  that  he  should  spend  forty  dollars 
on  bracelets,  earrings,  and  other  jade  ornaments  for  his 
mother  and  his  wife,  both  in  Peking.  There  were 
some  other  financial  arrangements  by  way  of  pro- 
viding a pension  for  his  mother,  who  for  fifteen  years 
after  that  drew  from  him  an  allowance  of  five  dollars 
a month. 

Chang-erh’s  emotion  was  so  great  that  he  “con- 
firmed his  offer”  to  do  duty  thenceforward,  both  as 
cook  and  “ boy,”  for  seven  dollars  a month  besides 
the  five  ; and  he  did  so,  without  a serious  break.  By 
the  other  servants  he  was  always  regarded  as  half  a 
lunatic  and  half  a blackguard  ; but  his  proficiency  in 
the  Pekingese  tongue,  coupled  with  his  genius  as  a 
raconteur,  always  kept  him  “cock  of  the  walk.” 


HONGKONG  SALT-SMUGGLERS 

The  smuggling  of  salt  and  opium  from  Hongkong  to 
the  mainland  gave  rise  to  incessant  recriminations,  and 
to  the  so-called  Blockade  of  Hongkong — i.e.  in  1867 
the  Hoppo  established  a cordon  of  stations  on  the 
mainland  and  on  the  islands  round  Hongkong ; he  also 
bought  a fleet  of  steam-cruisers  to  “ chivy  ” the  delin- 
quent junks  into  his  net.  Until  1887,  when  it  was  found 
expedient  to  transfer  these  stations  to  Sir  Robert  Hart 
(under  the  collective  names  of  Kowloong  for  Hong- 
kong, and  Lappa  for  Macao),  the  collection  of  likin 


THE  LAW  IS  A HASS 


307 


was  managed  by  the  Chinese  themselves.  Meanwhile, 
their  cruisers  used  to  watch  the  narrow  entrances  to 
Hongkong — a very  easy  thing  to  do — and  occasionally, 
in  the  excitement  of  the  moment,  cross  the  line  in 
fresh  pursuit.  Naturally,  the  Chinese  could  always 
bring  a batch  of  witnesses  to  swear  and  prove  that 
the  capture  was  made  beyond  colonial  waters ; on  the 
other  hand,  the  captive  junk-master  was  not  exactly 
an  unprejudiced  witness  when  he  and  his  crew,  to 
save  their  skins  and  their  salt,  swore  that  they  were 
distinctly  within  the  limits  of  Hongkong  jurisdiction. 

One  of  these  “ mixed  ” cases  occurred  shortly  after 
my  second  arrival  in  Canton,  and  of  course  both  sides 
were  bound  to  assume  the  truth  of  their  own  case ; 
otherwise  there  would  be  no  advantage  in  bringing 
forward  the  case  at  all.  The  Viceroy  Liu  K'un-yih 
was  a just  and  fair-minded  man  : he,  on  his  part,  sent 
down  a high  European  customs  official  (Mr.  McLeavy 
Brown)  to  make  enquiry  ; or,  rather,  he  asked  him  as  a 
favour  to  go,  for  he  had  no  power  to  “ order  ” him — any 
thing  savouring  of  a “ request  and  require  ” in  customs 
matters  must  come  from  the  Hoppo.  Just  then  irre- 
fragable evidence  was  accidently  discovered  that  the 
slashed  anchor-cable  of  the  captured  junk  was  still 
attached  to  the  anchor,  which  lay  imbedded  un- 
mistakably within  Hongkong  waters.  There  was  no 
getting  over  this,  though  “ in  law  and  theory  ” the 
proof  that  the  anchor  could  not  be  there  was  absolute. 
However,  as  we  all  know,  the  “law  is  a hass  ” ; and, 


3o8 


RAISING  THE  WIND 


as  the  Chinese  say  : “ What  exists  not  in  reason  may 
exist  in  fact.” 

These  cases  are,  of  course,  “ diplomatically  ” pressed 
by  the  Consul  at  Canton  on  behalf  of  the  Governor  of 
Hongkong,  who  has  no  power  to  dictate.  But  it  so 
happened  just  then  that  the  exceedingly  able  and 
vivacious  Sir  John  (then  Mr.)  Pope  Hennessy  was 
meritoriously  anxious  to  cultivate  the  good  graces  of 
the  Chinese  in  general,  and  of  the  Viceroy  in  particular. 

On  the  other  hand,  Liu  K'un-yih  is  not  the  person  to 
cultivate  even  the  Emperor’s  good  graces,  still  less 
those  of  a foreign  official  ; moreover,  he  is  a man  who 
never  “ goes  behind,” — a virtue  which  some  of  our  own 
diplomatists  of  the  Parisian  school  might  cultivate  with 
advantage. 

The  situation  was  ridiculous.  Governor  Hennessy 
wrote  the  very  day  the  anchor  was  discovered — or,  at 
least,  constate — to  say  that  he  had  decided  not  to 
press  the  case  for  the  boatman  ; on  the  same  day  the 
Viceroy,  who  had  proved  his  case,  wished,  on  the  broad 
grounds  of  common-sense,  to  surrender  the  junk  to  the 
unhappy  boatman  ; but  he  could  not  because  no  one 
“claimed  the  revoke.”  Under  these  circumstances  the 
Consul,  who  was  a man  highly  venerated  by  the  Viceroy, 
decided  to  send  me  to  interview  the  Salt  Commissioner, 

— a Manchu  of  the  Imperial  family,  who  spoke  pure 
Pekingese,  and  was  therefore  exceptionally  accessible 
to  the  poetry  of  pleas. 

The  “ arrangement  ” is  a good  instance  of  the  ? 


“IF  SALT  HATH  LOST  ITS  SALTNESS”  309 


reasonableness  of  mandarins  when  approached  “ com- 
fortably,” without  fuss  and  feathers.  Ch'engfu  said : 
“ The  anchor  business  is  of  course  awkward  ; but  as  the 
Viceroy  has  proved  his  case,  I can’t  give  him  away,  at 
all  events  without  asking  him.  Besides,  the  junk  is 
broken  up,  and  the  cargo  already  sold  : we  can't  give 
it  up,  even  if  we  wished  to  do  so.”  The  reply  was  : “ Oh  ! 
that’s  easy  enough.  Buy  another  junk  like  it,  and  fill 
it  with  salt.  I will  undertake  that  the  junkman  gets 
justice  without  the  Governor  being  informed  officially  at 
all.  The  Viceroy  can  write  us  a severe  letter  of  censure 
if  he  likes,  upon  the  terms  of  which  you  and  I can 
agree,  and  prove  anything  he  has  a fancy  to  prove  in 
order  to  save  his  face,  so  long  as  we  get  the  junk.” 
This  was  done  : the  junk  was  shortly  afterwards  sent 
quietly  down  to  the  Harbour-master  of  Hongkong, 
“ chock  full  ” of  salt ; and  there  the  matter  dropped. 
The  Chinese  claimants  had  thus  not  to  cry  out,  as 
the  traditional  Roman  litigant  did  to  the  “fancy” 
lawyers:  “Yes,  gentlemen,  very  learned;  but  pray 
speak  about  my  goats.  Revenons  a nos  mout07ts." 


A SCANDALOUS  SQUEEZE 

Under  the  treaty,  traitorous  (or  loyal,  according  to 
taste)  Chinese  who  had  aided  the  English  army  were 
not  to  be  directly  or  indirectly  persecuted,  and  amongst 
the  greatest  of  these  traitors  (or  heroes)  was  Kwok 
A-cheong,  the  millionaire  of  Hongkong.  But  the 


310 


RAISING  THE  WIND 


Hoppo  of  Canton  had  just  lost  money  by  having 
to  go  away  for  three  months  and  mourn  for  his 
mother  (Tartars  “do ’’three  months  instead  of  putting 
in  the  full  classical  three  years)  : hence  his  coffers  were 
low,  and  he  looked  about  him  wildly  for  game  of 
any  odd  kind  to  fill  up  his  scanty  bag  withal. 

We  were  horrified  one  day  to  hear  that  Kwok 
A-cheong’s  son  had  been  arrested  on  the  West 
River,  and  been  held  to  ransom.  It  was  a stupid  thing 
for  young  Kwok  to  do,  to  fall  into  this  trap  ; for, 
even  if  his  father  had  been  a British  subject,  which 
was  doubtful,  that  did  not  make  his  sons  British 
unless  born  in  a British  colony ; which  was  also,  in 
this  particular  instance,  doubtful  ; moreover,  Chinese- 
British  subjects  were  only  locally  so,  unless  they  elected 
to  wear  some  external  mark  of  nationality ; to  report, 
and  to  register ; which  was  all  worse  than  doubtful,  for 
it  was  all  certain — but  unluckily  in  the  negative.  Yet 
the  true  facts  were  well  known  : young  Kwok  was  an 
opium-smoker,  and  had  naturally  taken  enough  good 
opium  for  a few  weeks’  sail  up  a poor  and  outlandish 
river ; he  had  also  taken,  as  all  rich  Chinese  commonly 
do  without  anticipating  danger,  a few  clocks  and 
musical  boxes  as  presents  to  friends. 

But  the  whole  business  had  been  managed  by  agents- 
provocateurs  under  the  Hoppo’s  own  supervision,  and 
the  difficulty  was  how  to  prove  it.  All  high  officials 
have  a right  to  “command”  the and  accordingly 
Kwok  was  sent  by  the  Hoppo  to  the  /^zk«’s  gaol. 


“PUT  MONEY  IN  THY  PURSE”  31 1 

The  first  step  of  the  Consulate  was  to  “ lay  it  on 
thick  ” at  once,  and  demand  from  the  hien  the 
instant  release  of  a British  subject.  It  was  hoped 
that  the  hien,  who  was  a sensible  man,  would  “ drop 
it,”  before  the  Hoppo  had  time  to  consult  the  foreign 
busybodies  who  are  always  at  hand  with  “ legal  ” 
advice.  However,  the  hien,  like  a modern  Pontius 
Pilate,  simply  washed  his  hands  of  the  whole  business, 
and  sent  the  man  back  to  the  Hoppo,  who,  with 
Manchu  temerity,  stuck  bravely  to  his  guns  : and  really 
he  was  right — i.e.  he  would  have  been  right,  if  we  had 
not  known  he  was  doing  a put-up  job.  He  argued, 
of  course : “ Every  penny  of  the  revenue  I collect 
belongs  to  his  Majesty.  Here  is  a Chinese  subject, 
in  Chinese  dress,  and  a Chinese  boat  ; with  no  papers, 
external  marks,  or  flag ; smuggling  opium  and  clocks. 
What  right  have  you  to  demand  his  release,  or  ask 
what  penalty  I intend  to  impose  in  the  Emperor’s 
name  ? ” 

Meanwhile,  Kwok  A-cheong  sent  up  one  of  those 
doubtful  foreigners  who  always  hang  on  to  the  skirts 
of  rich  Chinamen  : he  was  an  Irishman,  of  the  type 
one  occasionally  meets  on  the  strand  of  the  various 
Pacific  islands,  “ running  ” some  petty  king.  It  was 
evident  from  his  manner  that  he  had  power  to  offer 
any  money  to  get  the  man  out  ; but  as  no  money 
was  wanted  at  the  Consulate,  he  was  bowed  out  and 
assured  that  all  that  was  possible  would  be  done,  no 
matter  what  he,  old  Kwok,  or  any  one  else  wanted  ; 


312 


RAISING  THE  WIND 


(and  I hope,  for  his  own  sake,  he  made  a good  thing 
out  of  it  for  himself). 

The  duel  with  the  Hoppo  went  on  for  a fortnight, 

“ time  ” being  called  on  several  occasions ; when  at 
length,  fortunately.  Governor  Pope  Hennessy  (whether 
intentionally  or  not  I do  not  know)  did  us  a really  ' 
good  turn.  Apropos  of  quite  another  matter,  he  said  : 

" If  any  one  of  the  Hoppo’s  cruisers  is  caught  making 
arrests  in  Hongkong  waters  again,  I shall  have  to 
confiscate  such  cruiser.” 

The  straining  of  language  on  both  sides  had 
already  reached  artistic  limits.  It  was  not  difficult, 
however,  with  such-  an  elastic  language  as  the  Chinese, 
to  translate  this  handy  threat  quite  accurately,  but  at 
the  same  time  to  make  it  sound-.  “ If  we  can  once  get  | 

hold  of  the  Hoppo’s  big  steamer,  we  shall  seize  it,”  I 

and,  by  writing  one  despatch  on  two  subjects,  to  refer  j 

the  threat  back  in  imagination  to  the  prisoner  Kwok  J 

Yao.  Anywise,  a copy  was  sent  to  the  Viceroy  Liu  ^ 

K'un-yih,  who  had  been  looking  on  all  this  time  as  an  • 

amused  spectator,  wondering  who  would  “come  out  ■ 

top  ” from  the  scrimmage.  Alarmed  now  at  the 
possible  gravity  of  the  political  developments,  he  did  | 

what  Chinese  viceroys  will  very  rarely  do — he  exercised  i 

his  supreme,  or  “ urgent,”  authority  over  the  Hoppo,  j 

and  ordered  the  instant  release  of  the  man.  j 

The  Viceroy,  three  days  later,  came  in  person,  and  1 
told  us  the  whole  story  in  detail  as  a fine  joke.  He 
said  (in  his  fearful  dialect)  that  the  Hoppo’s  proposed 


WHEN  A LADY’S  IN  THE  CASE”  313 


squeeze  amounted  to — he  pulled  a face  and  crossed 
his  two  forefingers  like  a horse-dealer  (a  cross  means 
four  or  ten,  according  to  whether  Maltese  or  St. 
George’s).  I asked  : “ Ss  wan  ? ” (four  myriads).  He 
said  eagerly:  Zz  vaa\”  {shih-wan)—i.e.  ten  myriads, 

or  one  hundred  thousand  dollars — perhaps  a hundred 
thousand  taels ; I forget  which. 


I WHO’LL  BUY  MY  GINGHAM? 

When  I was  travelling  in  Sz  Ch'wan,  both  my 
boatmen  and  my  chairman  used  to  annoy  me  by 
' repeated  and  interminable  delays  whilst  they  chaffered 
! about  the  price  of  straw-shoes,  fuel,  rice,  or  some  other 
necessary  trifle ; the  whole  value  of  which  never  ex- 
ceeded a few  pence,  but  the  contested  margin  of 
which  was  rarely  more  than  a farthing.  I found  it 
, paid  me  much  better  to  order  twenty  pairs  of  shoes, 
I a hundredweight  of  fuel,  or  whatever  ran  short,  and 
give  it  to  them  for  nothing : the  cost  to  me  was 
I practically  nil,  in  the  scale  of  my  daily  expenditure  ; 
but  it  pleased  them,  and  gave  me  an  agreeable  air 
of  magnifico  (if  not,  occasionally,  mentecato  or  loco). 

I One  hot  day  I had  taken  refuge  from  the  sun  in  my 

I chair,  whilst  the  bearers  were  swabbing  themselves  down 
and  refreshing  themselves  at  a rustic  stall  (under  the 
inevitable  travellers’  banyan  tree,  which  shades  every 
Sz  Ch'wan  village)  with  a cup  of  gruel  and  a smoke. 
A small  crowd  had  collected  in  the  vicinity,  and,  for 


314 


RAISING  THE  WIND 


want  of  something  better  to  do,  I listened  to  the 
conversation.  One  man  held  a common,  green-paper 
umbrella  in  his  hand,  which  he  was  regarding  thought- 
fully and  stroking,  much  as  a puzzled  “ vet.”  fingers 
a horse’s  hough.  He  nodded  significantly  to  an  old 
woman,  who  watched  appealingly  for  his  opinion.  A 
nice  little  boy  by  her  side  eagerly  handed  the  umbrella 
to  several  other  thoughtful  critics ; it  was  opened,  held 
up  to  the  sun,  scrutinised,  and  carefully  considered 
by  all.  My  chair-coolies  then  joined  in  the  discussion  ; 
and  soon  there  were  signs  of  animation,  if  not  of 
anger.  A choc  d'int^rets  had  taken  place. 

“ Boy,  go  and  see  what  it  is.” 

“It  is  an  old  woman  who  wants  to  sell  her 
umbrella.” 

“ What  for  ? ” 

“ She  says  she  has  seven  more  days’  journey  to  tramp, 
and  has  spent  all  her  copper  cash.” 

I then  walked  up  and  interviewed  the  old  lady. 
She  had  that  polished,  brown,  parchment  face,  deeply 
wrinkled  and  thickly  freckled,  so  common  to  Chinese 
female  rustics  ; her  wisp  of  grey  hair  was  done  up 
into  a tiny  top-knot  on  her  streaky,  bright  crown ; 
like  all  her  kind  she  went  bareheaded,  but  carried  a 
huge  straw  hat  slung  to  her  side  for  occasional  wear ; 
her  attire  was  the  usual  blue  cotton,  trimmed  with 
cheap  Birmingham  braid,  all  well  washed  and  whole- 
some. She  told  me  her  story : she  had  been  on  the 
plod  for  some  time,  and  had  to  get  to  a city  far 


“HER  ’PRENTICE  HAN’  SHE  TRIED’’  315 


away  beyond  Chungking.  According  to  the  unanimous 
testimony  of  the  villagers,  the  umbrella  was  worth  from 
one  hundred  and  forty  to  one  hundred  and  fifty  cash, 
(fivepence-farthing  to  sixpence) ; and  the  average  daily 
rate  at  the  inns  en  route  would  be  from  fifty  to  seventy 
cash  apiece  per  diem,  first  class.  It  was  a distressing 
situation  ; but  she  really  must  raise  “ a string  ” in  some 
way.  The  landlord,  meanwhile,  clapped  down  a “ cat- 
head ” {i.e.  the  contents  of  two  bowls  jammed  into 
one)  of  rice  on  the  table,  evidently  intending  to  give 
it  for  nothing  (it  was  worth  less  than  a farthing). 

I was  so  distressed  at  the  thought  of  the  old  woman 
trudging  with  her  tiny  stumps  hungrily  along  for  two 
hundred  miles,  dragging  with  her  the  bright  child,  that 
I ordered  a string  of  one  thousand  cash  to  be  at  once 
fished  up  from  the  “ well  ” of  the  sedan-chair.  But 
just  at  that  instant  the  little  boy,  misunderstanding 
my  movement,  rashly  pulled  out  a piece  of  silver  from 
his  sleeve,  and  ordered  it  to  be  weighed ; it  was 
perhaps  worth  six  hundred  cash.  Seeing  this,  I 
reduced  my  largess  to  four  hundred. 

“ Look,  look,  old  lady  ! His  Excellency  bestows  four 
hundred  cash  upon  you.” 

The  old  woman  did  not  seem  quite  to  understand 
the  situation,  and  never  even  thanked  the  barbarian  ; 
but  1 left  her,  like  Pierre  Loti’s  friend,  counting  out 
the  money,  and  muttering  to  see  if  it  was  correct. 

Old  women  are  invariably  treated  with  respect  by 
every  one,  and  they  usually  deserve  it.  Their  age 


3i6 


RAISING  THE  WIND 


exempts  them  from  the  necessity  of  simulating  exces- 
sive modesty,  and  their  tempers  seem  to  mellow  as 
the  troubles  of  motherhood  and  mother-in-law-hood 
fade  into  long-past  souvenirs  de  Jeunesse.  They  usually 
have  a good  deal  of  kindness  and  bonhomie  in  their 
composition,  and  they  are  no  mean  doctors  where  it 
is  a question  of  simple  chill,  fever,  or  other  obvious 
malady.  They  are  sympathetic,  unexacting,  severely 
conservative,  and  often  inclined  to  be  religious  ; this 
last  virtue  is  called  “ superstition  ” by  missionaries  ; but 
it  becomes  “ piety  ” when  they  nominally  accept  Chris- 
tianity. And  it  is  not  difficult  to  get  a Chinese  woman 
to  do  that  if  her  husband  does  it ; nor  is  it  difficult 
to  make  the  husband  do  it  if  his  father  had  done 
it  before  him  ; in  that  case,  indeed,  he  is  born  to  it, 
and  needs  no  making.  Nascitur,  non  fit. 


THERE’S  MONEY  IN  IT 

One  of  the  most  lucrative  trades  around  Shanghai 
and  Chinkiang  used  to  be,  and  perhaps  still  is,  that 
of  being  shot.  The  way  it  was  worked  was  thus.  The 
merchants  often  go  up  the  creeks  in  house-boat  parties, 
or  wander  about  the  fields  in  the  outskirts,  looking 
for  snipe.  There  are  no  hedges  or  game  laws  any- 
where in  China,  and  innumerable  small  boys  are  always 
at  hand  to  do  the  beating,  gun-carrying,  ditching,  and 
picking  up.  It  often  occurred,  under  these  circum- 
stances, that  a few  dust-shot  were  put  into  the  calf  of 


HAVE  MEN  ABOUT  ME  THAT  ARE  FAT”  317 


a man’s  leg ; and  occasionally  even  an  eye  was  injured. 
But,  just  as  with  the  fixed  compensation  for  injury 
to  fields  during  the  paper  hunts,  so  with  the  parents 
of  small  boys  shot,  or  the  relatives  of  adults,  a fairly 
definite  tariff  gradually  established  itself ; so  much  so 
that  people  used  deliberately  to  dodge  behind  bushes, 
or  lurk  in  the  ditches,  so  as  to  be  ready  (reversing 
the  action  of  the  Boers)  to  raise  their  hands  and 
yell  the  instant  a gun  went  off  in  that  direction. 
Very  few  Chinese  rustic  skins  are  without  an 
assortment  of  sores  and  bruises ; and  nothing  was, 
therefore,  easier  than  to  rub  a shot  or  some  powder 
in,  or  to  pretend  that  “internal  injury”  had  occurred. 
As  the  irate  villagers  thronged  round  with  their  poles 
(all  peasants  have  a carrying  pole  at  hand),  timid  or 
non-Chinese-speaking  sportsmen  were  often  only  too 
glad  to  compromise  on  the  spot ; especially  if  a few 
old  women  with  buckets  of  liquid  manure  joined  in 
the  discussion.  Otherwise  the  case  was  brought 
through  the  hien  before  the  English  Police  Court,  or 
even  before  the  Supreme  Court ; or  it  was  arbitrated 
by  the  consul  ; or  by  a joint  body. 

It  was,  therefore,  a fine  fat  day  for  the  Chinamen 
of  Chinkiang,  when  a couple  of  thriving  lawyers  from 
Hongkong— one  a genuine  K.C. — came  up  for  a week’s 
shooting.  I happened  to  meet  them  a few  days  after 
the  “tragedy,”  and  they  told  me  exactly  what  had 
occurred.  Neither  spoke  a single  word  of  the  local 
dialect,  or  of  any  dialect  at  all  approaching  it ; they 


318 


RAISING  THE  WIND 


went  out  alone ; and  they  were  everywhere  followed 
by  the  usual  assortment  of  impudent,  officious  boys, 
who  of  course  were  able  to  differentiate  the  greenhorn 
from  the  local  barbarian  genus.  Mr.  McKean  tried 
to  “ shoo  ” them  away,  and,  in  so  doing,  somehow  let 
off  his  gun.  Down  dropped  a boy  at  once  like  a | 

lump  of  lead ; and  instantly  there  was  a roar,  a 
rush,  an  earthquake,  and,  so  to  speak,  the  end  of 
the  world.  Naturally  the  lawyers  at  first  assumed 
that  the  whole  thing  was  a “ plant,”  and  were  inclined 
to  argue.  Amidst  a forest  of  poles,  and  a whirl- 
wind of  gesticulations  and  howls,  the  two  barristers 
were  seized  and  bound.  Mr.  Hayllar  was,  after  a time, 
set  free,  and  allowed  to  make  arrangements  in  com-  ; 
parative  unrestraint.  I forget  exactly  how  far  he  was 
kept  under  surveillance  ; but  his  friend  had  to  undergo  , 

the  torture  of  having  bamboo  withes  tightly  bound  ' 

round  his  wrists,  besides  suffering  imprisonment  and 
semi-starvation  in  uncomfortable  rustic  quarters  for 
many  hours,  if  not  for  a whole  day  and  night.  When 
I saw  him,  he  still  bore  the  marks  of  “strangulation” 
upon  his  arms  and  hands. 

On  this  occasion  the  boy  really  had  been  shot, 
under  their  very  noses,  as  dead  as  a door-nail. 

The  persuasive  and  forensic  arts  of  a dumb  K.C. 

“ gesticulating  in  English  ” were  vain  before  a rustic  | 
forum  of  garlicky  Chinamen  ; however  successful  they  j 
might  always  hitherto  have  been  before  a bewigged  j 
Chief  Justice,  or  a smug  jury.  They  were  “in  for  it”  ; 


QUIS  TEMPERET  A LACHRYMIS?  319 


with  a vengeance ; and  of  course  “ life  for  life  ” was 
urgently  demanded  by  way  of  forcing  the  purse-strings 
wide  open,  and  striking  hard  while  the  iron  was 
hot.  On  the  whole  they  got  off  very  cheaply:  the 
boy’s  life  was  priced  at  a few  hundred  dollars  (say, 
at  then  rates,  about  £40  or  ;^’5o),  which,  though  not 
much  for  gentlemen  who  batten  on  retaining  fees 
and  refreshers,  is  quite  a fortune  for  a Chinese  peasant 
family. 


THE  SALT-SMUGGLER 

When  I went  up  the  Yangtsze  in  a native  boat 
from  Ichang  to  Chungking,  the  captain  made  no 
secret  of  the  fact  that  he  was  ballasting  my  boat 
with  a cargo  of  Hwai  salt,  which  in  Sz  Ch'wan  has 
quite  a fancy  price.  But  it  was  local  custom  to 
smuggle,  and  I certainly  was  not  going  to  risk  my 
life  in  the  rapids  by  arguing  with  a discontented 
crew.  In  coming  down  the  Cheh  Kiang  rivers,  I also 
observed  that  the  local  skipper  took  advantage  of 
my  official  position  to  run  a cargo.  If  he  had  been 
caught  (I  think  he  was)  I should  not  have  interfered, 
so  long  as  I got  to  the  end  of  my  journey  without 
delay.  I never  took  any  steps  to  prevent  smuggling 
by  my  servants,  except  where  foreign  steamers, 
foreign  custom-houses,  or  the  Consulate  reputation 
was  concerned.  Caveat  actor. 

One  day  my  late  friend  Paulus  von  Moellendorff, 


320 


RAISING  THE  WIND 


(who,  until  his  lamentable  death  last  April,  had  been 
attached  to  the  Imperial  Customs  as  a high  func- 
tionary,) was  coming  up  the  Yangtsze  among  the 
steamer  passengers,  when  he  chanced  to  look  into  one 
of  the  boxes  which  had  been  shoved  well  under  his 
berth.  This  particular  box  was  not  a cabin  box,  but 
was  supposed  to  carry  blacking-brushes,  and  oddments 
of  that  kind  ; and  it  struck  him  as  singular  that  so 
cumbrous  and  unpolite  an  article  should  have  been 
carried  in  there.  To  his  astonishment  he  found  it  ! 
full  of  salt.  Without  saying  anything  to  his  “ boy,” 
who  was  peacefully  slumbering  in  the  native  portion 
astern,  he  gave  orders  for  the  contents  of  the  box 
to  be  emptied  into  the  river  through  the  capacious  1 
port-hole.  ] 

On  arrival  at  Kewkiang  (three  days’  sail),  the 
“ boy  ” of  course  turned  up  to  collect  the  luggage, 
and  to  superintend  its  removal  ashore.  Nothing  was 
said.  When  he  lugged  out  the  box,  a slight  pallor 
suffused  (as  a good  Irishman  would  say)  his  blushing 
countenance ; and  the  corners  of  his  eyes  sought 
indirect  communication  with  those  of  his  inexorable 
master,  who  meanwhile  was  gloating  over  the  scene  , 
with  sardonic  calm.  The  mental  problem  for  the  | 
boy  was : “ Did  I forget  to  put  the  salt  in  ; or  did  j 
the  steward  take  it  out  for  himself ; or  is  the  master  I 
‘ in  ’ with  somebody,  either  in  view  of  profit,  or  of  / 
my  detection  ? ” It  was  like  the  dilemma  of  the  tiger- 
pursued  American  who  had  jumped  inside  the  camel’s  | 


WAS  SEIN  MUSS,  DAS  GESCHEHE  321 


body : “ Shall  I bunk  in  ; or  shall  I bunk  out ; or 
shall  I gnaw  away  to  make  him  travel}” 

If  any  raw  hand  imagines  that  under  these  cir- 
cumstances he  can  catch  a Chinaman  tripping,  he 
is  very  much  mistaken.  With  cheerful  alacrity  the 
boxes  and  wraps  were  taken  ashore,  amid  the  silent 
admiration  (to  use  another  Hibernicism)  of  the  skipper, 
the  European  passengers,  and  the  others  who  were 
in  the  secret.  Nothing  impresses  the  Chinese  more 
than  silence : left  to  themselves,  they  would  have 
had  a fearful  row  over  the  matter ; not  in  order  to 
settle  any  fanciful  point  of  honour,  but  with  the 
purely  practical  object  of  finally  “ locating  ” the  money 
loss  in  copper  cash. 

These  events  happened  in  1873,  and  many  a time 
since  then  have  I had  occasion  to  take  them  as  a 
model  for  my  own  conduct.  Such  chinoiseries  do  no 
real  harm,  and  it  is  rather  hard  to  “ cut  ” the  poor 
fellows’  wages,  or  to  send  the  foolish  offenders  in  for 
a flogging,  with  the  Quixotic  object  of  setting  up  a 
standard  of  morality  quite  foreign  to  their  natures. 
Can  the  leopard  change  his  spots  ? 


21 


CHAPTER  XV 


POLICE  AND  THEIR  MASTERS 

THE  MANCHU  AGENT-PROVOCATEUR 
LTHOUGH  the  Viceroy  Liu  K'un-yih  is  an 


honourable  man,  he  is  just  like  our  European 
statesmen  in  accepting  information  where  he  can  get 
it:  “so  are  they  all,  all  honourable  men.”  Nor  was 
Liu  K'un-yih  the  maker  of  things,  which  he  took  as 
he  found  them  at  Canton  : like  our  own  diplomats, 
he  had  to  accept  the  instruments  provided  for  him, 
and  make  the  best  of  them  ; but  during  the  time  I 
knew  him  at  Canton  I never  heard  any  subordinate 
officers  complain  that  Liu  K'un-yih  had  listened  to 
statements  made  privately  behind  their  backs  whilst 
officially  accepting  their  services,  or  had  made  rash 
charges  against  them  in  order  the  better  to  struggle 
out  of  an  awkward  position  himself. 

But  there  was  one  man,  a Manchu, — and  a very 
chatty,  witty  fellow,  too, — who  did  complain  that  his 
superiors  had  done  all  this  to  him  before  Liu  K'un-yih 
came  at  all  ; and  that  they  had  reported  his  shatg-ming 
(=  repute)  to  be p'mg-cJi  ang  ordinary), — a favourite 


322 


UNOCULUS  INTER  CAECOS 


323 


Chinese  way  of  suppressing  a subordinate  when  you 
cannot  get  at  him  straightforwardly.  But  it  was  not 
only  not  Liu  K'un-yih  who  had  “ reported  ” him ; 
indeed  that  high  officer  was  even  disposed  to  test 
the  truth  for  himself,  and  I had  opportunities  of  getting 
this  Manchu  many  a job  on  special  “ foreign  ” service  ; 
so  I always  took  these  opportunities  when  they  occurred, 
for  I liked  the  Tartar’s  frank  and  open  ways,  and 
enjoyed  brushing  up  my  Pekingese  by  talking  to  him 
in  that  dialect. 

Hence  it  came  about  that  Liu  K'un-yih  thought 
he  could  pick  up  plenty  of  miscellaneous  information 
from  foreigners  through  the  said  Manchu ; and  the 
Manchu  used  to  seek  out  all  foreign  officials,  and 
even  to  drop  in  frequently  of  an  evening  to  see 
me  at  the  old  yamen ; to  smoke  a cigar,  and  to 
“ pump  ” me. 

I have  not,  and  never  had,  the  slightest  objection  to 
being  pumped  {i.e.  of  all  I am  willing  to  disclose),  and 
think  there  is  sometimes  a suspicion  of  humbug  in  the 
pretended  “ reserve  ” of  conventional  diplomacy,  which 
as  often  means  incompetence  or  uncertainty  as  it  means 
prudence,  and  this  whether  it  be  Chinese  or  European  : 
a man  who  plays  a sensible  and  straightforward  game 
needs  very  little  mystification  or  tampering  with  the 
truth.  Hence  (to  come  from  generals  to  specifics)  I 
allowed  the  Manchu  to  pump  me  freely  when  he,  and 
many  others  of  several  nationalities,  were  anxious  to  be 
perfectly  exact  about  Chunghou’s  doings  at  Livadia, 


324  POLICE  AND  THEIR  MASTERS 


on  the  occasion  when  a treaty  was  being  negotiated 
on  the  Hi  question.  And  this  is  how  he  did  it, 

Russian  names  are  not  easily  rendered  into  Chinese, 
and  for  some  reason  the  Roman  transliteration  of  one 
trisyllabic  name  was  anxiously  desired  by  an  official 
personage.  It  would  have  been  perfectly  easy  to  ask 
me  openly : “ Do  these  three  characters  represent 
‘ Koyander,’  the  Russian  Charge  d’affaires  ? ” But  he 
chose  a more  circuitous  route,  so  I said : “ Give  me 
hold  of  that  book  you  have  in  your  hand,  and  let  me  | 

see  the  context.”  (I  did  not  then  know  the  word  I 

“ Koyander.”)  I 

To  my  surprise  I found  the  pamphlet  comprised  the  | 
treaty  itself,  the  Peking  correspondence,  and  the  com-  ! 
mercial  convention,  all  neatly  bound  up  in  one  ; it  had 
just  been  privately  sent  to  the  Manchu  by  a secretary 
in  the  employ  of  Chang  ChY-tung,  who  was  then 
beginning  to  make  his  name.  It  had  come  all  the 
way  from  the  city  of  Nan-p'i,  near  Peking,  passing  | 
simply  between  friend  and  friend : it  was  nothing  more 
than  early  news  unexpectedly  received ; there  was  ! 
nothing  official  about  it,  nor  was  there  any  underhand  | 
work.  So  I said : “ Well,  I am  your  friend  too ; | 
just  let  me  look  at  it  comfortably  in  my  own  house. 

I will  let  you  have  it  back  for  sure  after  a day 
or  so.” 

No  one  in  Europe  outside  Russia  had  yet  seen  the 
treaty  ; or,  at  all  events,  no  European  in  China  had 
done  so.  The  document  was  duly  returned  within 


OPIUM  AND  HIS  BRIDES 


32s 


forty-eight  hours  ; and  I just  mention  the  episode  in 
order  to  instance  how  clever  and  secret  the  Chinese 
can  be  when  they  particularly  wish  to  pump  an  ordinary 
individual  of  unsuspecting  disposition. 


\ THE  VAGABOND  ESCORT 

! Ever  since  Mr,  Margary’s  murder  and  the  Chefoo 
Convention,  the  Chinese  Government  has,  in  its  fitful 
and  incomplete  way,  made  efforts  to  insist  upon 
I foreigners  travelling  inland  being  duly  protected  and 
I properly  treated.  Amongst  the  measures  adopted  are 
' registering  their  habitations,  examining  passports, 

f following  movements,  and  furnishing  escorts.  These 
I'  precautionary  steps  would  be  ample — if  adequately 
carried  out  ; but  the  incurable  want  of  thoroughness 
in  everything  Chinese  is  such  that  nothing  is  ever 
done  properly,  even  if  good  faith  be  used  in  the  attempt 
I to  do  it. 

1 As  an  official,  I was  treated  perhaps  a trifle  better 
than  a peripatetic  missionary ; but  I soon  discovered 
that  my  escort  men  were  usually  ruffians  “ on  the 
I make,”  and  therefore  I never,  under  any  circum- 
stances, allowed  my  passport  out  of  my  hands  to 
j be  “ copied,” — a typical  piece  of  Chinese  imbecility 
which  always  meant  intolerable  delay  and  extortion. 

' During  my  travels  in  North  Sz  Ch'wan,  one  district 
magistrate,  whom  I had  ascertained  from  gossips  at 
his  own  door  to  be  a lazy  opium-smoker  and  a good- 


326  POLICE  AND  THEIR  MASTERS 


for-nothing  man  all  round,  absolutely  declined  to  see 
me,  and  sent  most  impertinent  messages  to  me  by  his 
attendants,  or  by  the  police ; but  I had  to  get  over 
twenty  more  miles  that  afternoon,  and  had  no  time 
to  let  him  feel  my  displeasure  in  person. 

The  “escort”  on  this  occasion  was  simply  a single 
ragamuffin,  with  a tattered  old  official  hat,  which  he 
carried  with  him  done  up  in  a red  handkerchief,  for 
use  when  he  should  report  himself  to  the  next  hien.  j 

He  had  received  from  his  own  hien  a few  cash  to  | 

start  with,  and  he  had  certain  rights  of  “ entertainment  ” 
and  purveyance  en  route,  apart  from  anything  he  could  ] 

extract  from  me.  His  duty  was  to  “deliver”  me  safe  1 

and  sound  to  the  next  city  district.  These  and  many  ; 

other  things  he  told  me  as  we  marched  amicably  * 

along  together  under  a broiling  sun  ; in  fact,  most  of  i 

my  knowledge  of  “ high  life  ” in  yamens  has  been  | 

derived  from  these  scallywags. 

I said  : “ Let  me  look  at  your  warrant.”  l 

“ Certainly,”  he  said,  being  himself  (as  they  say  in  j 
Lancashire)  “ no  scholard.”  ' 

It  was  a printed  paper,  with  names  written  in  the 
blank  spaces.  It  ran:  “We,  the  hien  of  etc.,  etc., 
hereby  require  and  command  the  policeman  X.  to 
take  into  his  custody,  ite7U  : criminals,  one  ; native  place, 
Ying  barbarian  ; chairs,  three ; etc.,  etc.,  and  him 
rightly  and  surely  deliver  to  the  hien  of  etc.,  etc. 
Tremble  and  obey!” 

“ I will  give  you  a letter  to  take  back  to  your 


"TO  WRITE  ME  DOWN  AN  ASS”  327 


master,  and  here  is  a present  for  yourself.  You  need 
not  hand  this  document  in.” 

My  letter  ran  as  follows : " I have  safely  arrived 
here,  and  your  man  X.  has  shown  me  every 
attention,  for  which  I thank  you.  He  informed 
me  that  it  was  his  duty  to  hand  his  warrant 
in  to  the  neighbouring  hien ; but  I have  myself 
kept  it  (against  his  earnest  entreaties),  and  given 
him  this  letter  to  hand  to  you,  instead  of  your  col- 
league’s official  receipt.  I do  not  think  you  can  be 
aware  that  whilst  the  T'ang,  the  Sung,  the  Mongol, 
Ming,  and  Manchu  dynasties  have  each  in  turn 
‘ chased  the  stag,’  the  great  English  dynasty  has 
ruled  for  one  thousand  years  without  a serious  break 
in  family  connection.  I have  been  deputed  by  the 
officers  of  the  same  Ying  dynasty  to  travel  in  Sz  Ch'wan. 
You  declined  to  see  me  when  I visited  you ; but  your 
own  people  told  me  you  were  a great  opium-smoker, 
and  never  rose  till  two  p.m.  I shall  be  back  in 
Chungking  in  eighteen  days,  and  unless  I find  there 
an  apology  from  you,  written  with  your  own  hand  and 
in  the  most  courteous  language,  I shall  officially  send  a 
copy  of  your  escort-warrant  to  Peking,  in  order  that 
the  Government  there  may  see  how  their  commands 
are  carried  out  by  district  magistrates  in  this  province.” 
When  I reached  Chungking,  I found  a neat  letter 
from  him,  written  on  pretty  fancy  paper,  thanking 
me  for  my  magnanimity,  and  expressing  a hope  that 
I would  call  in  on  my  way  back  from  the  north. 


328  POLICE  AND  THEIR  MASTERS 


And  there  the  matter  dropped  ; for  really  it  is  the 
hollow  and  insufferable  official  system,  rather  than 
the  malice  of  individuals,  which  evolves  these  silly 
insults.  The  whole  theory  of  mandarin  rule  is  a 
mixture  of  “ bluff  ” and  foolish  make-believe, — i.e. 
where  foreigners  are  concerned. 


MY  ESCORT 

We  were  waterbound  at  K'wei  Kwan  on  the  way 
down  from  Sz  Ch'wan  in  i88i.  This  was  my  last 
journey  in  the  West,  and  as  I had  been  laid  up  for 
three  months  with  two  sprained  ankles,  consequent 
upon  the  riot  already  described,  I was  not  in  a 
mood  to  be  trifled  with. 

K'wei  Kwan  is  at  the  mouth  of  the  gorge  which  opens 
like  a bottle  on  to  the  plains  of  Eastern  China.  The 
water  rose  forty  feet  in  one  night ; no  boat  durst  venture 
down  ; and  so,  as  weeks  of  wearisome  delay  were  on 
" the  cards,  I informed  the  civil  and  military  mandarins 
in  charge  of  the  uncaged  wild  beast  that  I intended 
to  walk  ; alone  if  necessary.  There  was  something  so 
nasty  in  my  eye  when  I said  this  that  chairs  were  in 
readiness  at  five  next  morning,  and  off  we  went,  bag 
and  baggage,  six  chairs,  numberless  bearers,  escort, 
cooks,  “boy,”  and  what  not.  I never  enjoyed  myself 
more : over  hill  and  down  dale ; across  swollen  rivers, 
in  the  mountain  clouds;  across  rickety  bridges;  pig-styes 
to  live  in,  nothing  but  local  fare  to  eat ; simple  people, 


WEARINESS  CAN  SNORE  ON  FLINT  329 


wild  surroundings ; vve  were  wet  through  and  worn  out 
every  evening ; and  the  stinkingest  barns  nursed  us  into 
the  sweetest  of  sleeps,  on  the  filthiest  of  reed  couches. 

By  degrees  I discovered  that  my  military  mandarin, 
who  always  carried  an  executioner’s  sword  in  his  hand, 
was  a splendid  fellow.  Every  night  he  set  his  soldiers 
to  work  first  thing  to  inflate  my  air-bed  ; he  always 
got  me  the  best  {i.e.  the  most  private)  room  or  bunk  ; 
kept  away  the  crowds  with  his  sword  ; and,  in  short, 
acted  as  “ head  bottle-washer  ” all  round,  in  quite  an 
undemonstrative  way. 

The  civil  mandarin,  who  had  set  out  on  his  duties  with 
great  courtesy  and  dignity,  proved  rather  a nuisance 
than  otherwise,  as  time  wore  on.  He  used  to  sit 
down  before  I sat  down,  try  to  secure  the  best  room, 
assume  to  give  his  own  orders  to  start,  and  so  on.  No 
one  is  disposed  to  be  less  exacting  than  myself  in  points 
of  personal  dignity  and  privilege ; but  as  he  had  got  a 
“ job  ” icJiai-shi)  for  which,  in  accordance  with  custom 
he  levied  purveyances  and  benevolences  on  each  city 
governor ; and  as  my  safety  and  comfort  were  of  the 
essence  of  the  job  in  question,  I did  not  see  why  I 
should  take  a secondary  position  in  his  favour.  He 
observed  my  dissatisfaction,  but  made  no  attempt 
whatever  to  mollify  me  : he  seemed  rather  to  enjoy 
irritating  the  barbarian. 

After  a week  of  ups  and  downs,  we  at  last  descended 
into  the  level  country  near  Ichang,  arrived  at  which 
place  I proceeded  to  announce  the  imminent  distribu- 


330  POLICE  AND  THEIR  MASTERS 


tion  of  the  fifty  taels  or  so  of  gratuities  I had  set  apart 
for  the  escort.  First,  in  response  to  my  summons, 
came  the  military  man  and  his  soldiers,  who,  to  their 
intense  surprise  and  gratification,  received  a week’s 
pay  each,  or  about  twenty-five  taels  in  all  (so  far  as 
I can  recollect).  | 

The  civil  mandarin  followed  in  great  state,  having  1 

dressed  himself  up  with  scrupulous  care ; no  doubt  he  ' 

thought  that  at  the  least  forty  or  fifty  taels  would  be 
his  proportionate  reward,  as  the  military  man  was 
in  theory  (but  not  in  practice)  under  his  orders.  I 
vied  with  him  in  affability ; readily  admitted  that 
the  roads  were  fearful,  the  fare  poor,  and  the  weather  j 
odious  ; but,  notwithstanding  all  these  drawbacks,  I 
assured  him  that  the  military  man  (his  colleague)  and 
the  excellent  soldiers  had  left  a grateful  impression 
on  me  ; and  that  I intended  to  write — in  fact,  I had 
written — to  the  taotai  of  Chungking  to  thank  him  for  ; 
his  efforts  in  my  favour.  As  for  himself,  being  a j 
literary  mandarin,  of  course  I regarded  him  as  an 
equal  : we  were  on  younger  and  elder  brother  footing, 
and  I would  not  insult  his  feelings  by  alluding  to 
“ that  pile  ” (a  poetical  term  for  “ money  ”).  I gave  i 
him — I forget  what,  a fish-knife,  sugar-basin,  or  some 
such  trumpery, — “ as  a keepsake  and  memento.”  He  | 
kept  his  countenance,  and  the  present  along  with  it  ; | 

then  bowed  himself  politely  out ; but  he  could  not  J 
help  biting  his  lips  with  rage,  especially  when  he  saw  ’ 
my  “ boy  ” giggling. 


“A  PARTNER  IN  THE  TRADE 


331 


THE  BIG  TING-CH'AI  AND  THE  SMALL 
TING-CHAI 

At  Wenchow — a sleepy  hollow — the  consular  servants 
had  dropped  into  one  of  the  grooves  into  which  they 
nearly  always  drop,  subject  to  varying  surroundings. 
The  writer,  a gentleman  of  high  character  and  reserved 
demeanour,  finding  the  f ing-cit  ais  (official  messengers) 
too  much  for  him  with  his  imported  dialect,  attended 
punctiliously  to  his  business,  but  gave  as  wide  a berth 
as  possible  to  the  interior  economy  of  the  Consulate. 
The  door-keeper  was  an  honest  clown,  as  most  Chinese 
door-keepers  are  : clowns,  because  no  one  but  a clown 
would  ; honest,  because  no  one  but  an  honest  man  could, 
satisfactorily  do  the  work.  The  gardener,  boatman, 
etc.,  had  no  facilities  for  making  squeezes.  The  big 
t’ing-c/iai  was  an  opium-smoker,  and  an  accredited 
rogue  ; but  he  was  marvellously  intelligent,  punctual, 
respectful,  and  even  gentlemanly.  The  little  t’ing-ch'ai 
was  plebeian,  humble ; but  foxy  and  hungry ; very 
ambitious  to  attract  the  master’s  eye,  and  to  assert 
himself.  Each  servant  signed  for  and  received  his 
own  money,  but  doubtless  the  big  f ing-cJi  ai  “ ran 
the  show  ” in  some  occult  way : anyhow,  he  was 
usually  supposed  (by  Chang-erh)  to  receive  a per- 
centage on  all  salaries. 

It  so  happened  one  day  that  a missionary  or  a 
tidewaiter  (I  forget  which)  told  me  that  public  gaming 


332  POLICE  AND  THEIR  MASTERS 


was  going  on  at  night  in  my  premises.  I asked  my 
“ boy,”  who  seemed  highly  gratified  at  the  opportunity 
thus  afforded  of  reproving  me  for  not  encouraging  him 
to  lay  daily  information  against  the  world  in  general. 
“ When  I tell  you  X.  is  a villain,  you  ask  me  for 
evidence,  and  decline  to  believe  me.  I have  seen 
strangers  come  in  at  night ; but,  as  I don’t  understand 
the  barbarous  local  jargon,  it  is  not  for  me  to  pry 
about  too  much.” 

The  result  of  the  enquiry  was  that  the  big  fing- 
ch'ai  (who  always  went  home  at  night  to  his  wife) 
was  found  not  to  be  implicated,  but  the  little  fing-ch'ai 
was  clearly  shown  to  have  kept  a gambling  resort  in 
his  kennel  on  my  premises.  He  happened  to  be  out 
taking  messages  when  these  facts  were  disclosed.  His 
room  was  carefully  searched  and  stripped,  under  my 
own  superintendence  ; his  mattrass,  coverlets,  and  extra 
clothes  were  laid  in  the  muddy  road  at  my  front 
door  ; his  boxes,  carefully  packed,  were  placed  on  the 
mattrasses  ; his  spare  trousers,  hat,  etc.,  upon  the  boxes  ; 
and  the  whole  of  his  other  miscellaneous  property  was 
ranged  around  ; the  pile  surmounted  by  the  guilty  cards 
and  the  roulette  table. 

Nothing  more  was  said  to  any  one,  and  I selected 
a comfortable  corner  in  the  verandah  from  which 
to  view  the  fun.  When  he  came  back  and  saw  his 
furniture  exhibited  to  public  view,  he  was  told:  “You 
have  been  dismissed  by  the  great  man  for  gambling.” 
He  then  began  to  cry,  and  hurried  upstairs  to  the 


FAVOURITi:  WALK  WITHIN  THE  WALLS  OF  WENCHOW  CITY.  [To  face  p. 


CADA  UM  EM  SUA  CASA  E KEY  333 


verandah  to  beg  me  for  mercy.  As  a rule  I do  not 
approve  of  beating  Chinamen,  but  my  motto  in  my 
own  house  always  was  Quod  principi  placuit,  legis  habet 
vigorem.  On  this  occasion  I clutched  the  small  t’ ing- 
ch'aihy  the  pigtail  and  boxed  his  ears  until  he  reeled  ; 
then  I turned  him  round  and  administered  a good 
kick ; and  finally  I said  : “ Now  you  may  take  your 
things  back  to  your  room.” 

All  this  was  done  in  silence,  and  in  full  view  of 
the  priest,  the  writer,  the  servants,  and  the  man  in 
the  street.  No  further  allusion  was  made  to  the 
matter,  and  the  little  fing-ch^ai  went  about  his  work 
as  usual.  He  behaved  very  well  at  the  riot,  and  was 
at  Wenchow  when  I left : as  Chinese  menials  usually 
last  out  their  own  century,  probably  he  is  there  still, 
and  very  likely  an  excellent  servant. 


TIT-FOR-TAT 

Amongst  what  appear  to  us  to  be  the  absurdities  of 
the  Chinese,  and,  in  fact,  the  whole  Oriental  system,  is 
the  universally  spread  desire  to  assert  superiority  by 
insisting  upon  what  the  Celestials  themselves  call  chan 
shang-feng  (=  getting  to  windward).  I say  appear  to 
us ; for  it  must  not  be  forgotten  that  nations  do  things 
because  they  think  they  are  right  : thus,  our  conventional 
treatment  of  women  appears  to  the  Chinese  a mixture 
of  imbecility,  ill-breeding,  and  buffoonery.  Just  before  I 
first  saw  him  in  1871,  Li  Hung-chang  had  to  be  hauled 


334  POLICE  AND  THEIR  MASTERS 


over  the  coals  for  trying  to  keep  Sir  Thomas  (then  Mr.) 
Wade  dallying  at  his  front  door.  His  brother  Li 
Han-chang  was  similarly  tweaked  six  years  later  by 
Mr.  Grosvenor,  who  with  his  colleagues  Davenport, 
Baber,  etc.,  deliberately  arranged  to  “ make  him  , nart  ” 
in  turn  by  standing,  watches  in  hand,  behind  their  own 
door,  and  keeping  the  Governor  Ts'en  with  the  Special 
Commissioner  Li  waiting  in  the  midst  of  a crowd  of  boys 
for  exactly  the  same  number  of  minutes  the  three 
Englishmen  had  been  kept.  My  own  experience  covers 
all  sorts,  shapes,  and  sizes  of  snubs  ; but  as  conventional 
demeanour  (Chinese  or  English)  has  often  a tendency 
to  appear  ridiculous  demeanour  to  me, — at  all  events 
unless  it  be  carried  through  with  perfect  correctness 
and  liberal  display, — I generally  amused  myself  with 
teasing  or  “ chaffing  ” the  enemy,  rather  than  worried 
myself  by  getting  angry. 

Amongst  the  favourite  Celestial  “ pin-pricks  ” are  the 
official  allusions  to  England  as  an  inferior  Power  by 
not  “ raising  ” the  word,  or  not  “ leaving  a hole  ” 
before  it ; speaking  of  his  Majesty  the  King  or  his 
Excellency  the  Minister  as  “ the  ruler  in  question,” 
or  “ the  said  envoy  ” ; calling  foreigners  “ barbarians  ” ; 
and  so  on.  There  is  another  curious  way  of  “ taking 
it  out  ” of  Europeans  which  is  publicly  adopted  by 
mandarins : this  is  by  “ spreading  themselves  out  ” 
as  they  walk  into  the  room  ; surrounding  themselves 
with  their  servants,  who  then  ostentatiously  light 
pipes,  and  bring  in  the  “ hot  rag  ” to  swab  the  face  ; 


KEEN  ENCOUNTER  OF  OUR  WITS”  335 


expectorating  and  eructating  “ all  over  the  place  ” ; 
and  so  on.  This  form  of  snubbery  (scarcely  snobbery) 
is  too  subtle  to  obtain  permanent  word-for-word 
definition  in  books,  however  much  it  may  for  the 
moment  compel  the  personal  attention  of  foreign  hosts. 
Manchu  officials  express  it  in  a quaint,  Chaucerian  way 
by  using  the  metaphor  “ display  of  urine,” — having 
occult  mental  reference  to  a donkey’s  noisy  attitude  and 
aggressive  demand  for  space  under  certain  conditions 
of  nature,  when  there  is  a general  inclination  on  the 
part  of  bystanders  to  “get  out  of  his  way.” 

One  day,  shortly  after  my  first  arrival  in  Hoihow,  I 
was  prowling  about  the  streets  to  look  for  proclamations, 
as  there  were  forbidding  rumours  circulating  against 
the  missionaries.  Here,  again,  the  foreign  official  has 
an  advantage  over  the  Chinese,  who  cannot,  or  seldom 
dares  to,  move  about  incognito.  I noticed  and  tore 
down  one  proclamation  issued  by  the  taotai  (the  chief 
civilian  official  in  the  island),  in  which  he  quoted, 
word  for  word,  a petition  to  himself  wherein  the  word 
“ barbarian  ” was  used.  In  China  there  is  no  such 
thing  as  an  accident  in  such  matters ; every  word 
is  deliberately  balanced  by  practised  literates,  and  no 
one  ever  by  any  chance  makes  a mistake  against  native 
dignity.  In  reply  to  my  note  expostulating,  and 
suggesting  that  “even  if  a man  of  his  high  literary 
repute  should  fail  to  see  where  good  taste  lay,  the 
treaty  distinctly  stipulates  that  the  w'ord  ‘ barbarian  ’ 
shall  not  be  used,”  he  replied  somewhat  cavalierly. 


336  POLICE  AND  THEIR  MASTERS 


pooh-poohing  the  whole  business,  and  insinuating 
that  “a  man  of  my  reading  and  capacity  might  well 
afford  to  overlook  the  careless  expressions  of  the  silly 
people.” 

It  would  not  have  been  difficult,  on  these  facts,  to 
force  even  Li  Han-chang,  then  Viceroy  at  Canton, 
to  censure  the  taotai,  who  was  a personal  friend  of 
his ; but  as  a rule  I have  tried  to  avoid  “ punish- 
ments,” which  are  apt  to  embitter  when  they  do  not 
convince ; still,  here  was  an  opportunity  for  a good 
rasping  bit  of  sarcasm  which  would  harmlessly  scarify 
the  old  taotai  for  the  rest  of  his  life  ; besides,  “ talent  ” 
in  literary  repartee  really  often  does  secure  respect 
from  the  Chinese.  I wrote  somewhat  as  follows : 
“ No  one  is  more  disposed  than  myself  to  be  lenient 
with  erring  humanity  ; but  this  is  a question  of  treaty 
stipulation,  which  neither  you  nor  I have  the  quality 
to  question.  Moreover,  it  appears  to  me  that  a Great 
Clear  mandarin  acts  with  doubtful  dignity  when  he 
actually  adopts,  instead  of  gently  chiding,  or  at  least 
himself  avoiding,  a popular  solecism.  For  instance, 
our  gross  English  ancestors,  when  first  they  saw  the 
Manchu  plaited  cue,  (imposed,  as  of  course  you  know 
by  the  Tartars  upon  your  countrymen  under  pain  of 
death,  as  an  external  badge  of  the  Great  Clear  dynasty’s 
semi-divine  power,)  called  it  a ‘ pigtail,’  for  want  of  a 
better  word ; and  so  much  is  this  still  the  only  word 
for  it  in  our  rough  language,  that  when  our  cultured 
classes  wish  to  speak  of  the  object  in  question,  they  are 


“SOLVENTUR  RISU  TABULAE” 


337 


fain  to  borrow  from  courtly  France  the  expression  queue, 
in  order  to  avoid  an  indelicacy.  I feel  sure  that  you 
would  appreciate  my  courtesy  in  refraining,  when 
speaking  of  your  hair,  from  the  use  of  the  popular  word 
‘ tail  of  a pig,’  the  possible  inference  of  which  is  obvious  : 
in  the  same  way  I trust  that,  by  way  of  fair  exchange, 
you  will  in  future  avoid  the  use  of  the  word  ‘ barbarian.’  ” 

THE  TAOTAI  CHU 

This  was  a very  characteristic  Chinese  official,  and 
I believe  came  from  Cheh  Kiang,  the  centre  of  learning 
and  statecraft.  His  personal  appearance  was  not 
prepossessing ; his  health  was  feeble,  and  his  com- 
plexion brick-yellow  ; one  single  many-coloured  tooth 
in  the  upper  jaw  adorned  a black-looking,  cavernous 
mouth.  He  was  a man  of  great  moral  courage,  having, 
just  before  my  arrival,  given  orders  to  fire  upon  a 
Hoihow  mob,  and  thus  judicially  killed  a man  (or 
a small  boy),  whose  family,  however,  he  promptly 
compensated.  This  homicide  had  made  him  unpopular  ; 
but  no  one  had  a word  to  say  against  his  private 
character.  He  was  strongly  “anti-opium”  in  opinion' 
and  of  course  did  not  smoke  himself:  it  is  believed 
that  he  was  the  real  originator  of  the  opium  arrange- 
ment with  Singapore  which  came  to  grief  under  his 
rascally  successor,  the  object  having  originally  been  an 
honest  one — namely,  to  secure  to  the  island  at  least 
a fair  portion  of  a revenue  on  vice,  seeing  that  vice 
there  must  be. 


22 


33S  POLICE  AND  THEIR  MASTERS 


Like  all  good  Chinese  officials,  Chu  Ts'ai  was  no 
lover  of  missionaries.  This  may  sound  paradoxical  ; 
but  how  can  any  patriotic  governing  mind  approve 
of  an  uncomprehended  foreign  influence,  over  people 
under  his  rule  who  are  simply  following  the  customs 
and  laws  of  their  ancestors  quae  usque  adhuc  sunt 
constitutae  et  approbatael 

The  whole  of  my  first  year  in  Hainan  was  spent 
in  one  long  struggle  with  “ Old  Chu,”  with  whom  I was 
personally,  however,  on  very  passable  terms.  He  could 
“ forgive  a lot,”  because  (to  use  the  contemptuous 
mandarin  expression)  I could  “ make  out  a pair  of 
written  characters  ” (“jm-te  liang-ko  tsz  ”),  and  rasp  his 
tough  hide  with  “ turns  of  language  ” when  he  took 
similar  liberties  with  my  delicate  epidermis.  I really 
had  a hearty  respect  for  the  old  man.  Why  not  ? 
He  did  not  squeeze  ; he  did  not  smoke  ; he  kept  order  ; 
spent  his  own  money  on  public  works ; and  encouraged 
learning.  I am  not  aware  that  he  ever  objected  to 
the  medical  mission ; in  fact,  I believe  he  subscribed 
liberally  to  it. 

Theie  was  not  a British  missionary  in  the  island. 
He  loathed  “ Papacy  ” ; but,  as  the  King  of  England 
is  obliged  to  express  officially  the  same  sentiments, 
how  can  we  blame  “ Old  Chu  ”?  (C/«/,  “ vermilion,”  his 

family  name,  is  pronounced  in  the  same  way  as  Chu, 

“ a pig  ” ; hence  the  murderous  severity  of  my  little 
joke  about  pigtails,  related  above.)  He  also  objected 
to  the  American  Presbyterians.  Practically  I had  to 


INVICTUM  ANIMUM  CATONIS 


339 


“protect”  Portuguese  “Papists”  and  Yankee  Dissenters 
during  the  whole  time  I was  there ; though  it  was 
none  of  my  business  to  do  so ; and  he  felt  it  his 
duty  to  keep  them  down.  I am  no  exclusive  sup- 
porter of  either,  and  subscribe  to  the  doctrines  of 
neither  ; nor  does  any  English  “ Churchman  ” : why, 
then,  should  Chu  ? 

His  other  black  crime  was  his  hostility  to  the 
foreign  pig  trade.  I disapproved  of  our  wallowing  in 
the  pig  trade,  too — it  was  beneath  the  quality  of  decent 
British  traders  ; but,  then,  there  was  the  treaty  ; and 
a British  trader  had  accepted  a pig  risk.  The  situation 
was  typical  in  a small  way  of  what  “ high  diplomacy  ” 
and  “Boxer  rebellions”  are  in  lofty  circles.  We  both 
thought,  believed,  liked,  and  disliked  the  same  things  ; 
but  “ destiny  ” compelled  us  to  squabble  over  pigs. 
Papists,  and  pastors  : in  other  words,  we  made  much 
ado  about  nothing,  because  we  were  paid  to  do  so. 

Chu  Ts'ai  was  particularly  obstinate  on  the  “ consular 
site  ” question : unofficially,  he  made  no  secret  of  his 
rash  vow  that  “ the  consul  will  get  no  site  whilst  I am 
here  ” ; and  as  he  was  then  negotiating  with  the  Viceroy 
Li  Han-chang  for  a family  marriage,  which,  for  official 
reasons,  could  not  take  place  until  his  retirement,  he 
had  a good  moral  support.  Notwithstanding  his  brave 
fight,  poor  old  Chu  was  vaincu  sur  toute  la  ligm : he 
had  to  pay  for  the  pigs  at  last,  with  heavy  interest : 
before  he  had  hastily  cast  his  parting  card  in  at  the 
Consulate  gate,  his  successor  had  to  apologise  in 


340  POLICE  AND  THEIR  MASTERS 


person  for  rudeness  to  the  missionaries  ; and  the  site 
was  actually  being  measured  out  as  he  sailed  away. 

The  most  curious  correspondence  I had  with  Chu 
Ts'ai  was  that  touching  the  old  Jesuit  graves,  in  which 
the  status  of  the  Popes,  divae  memoriae,  had  to  be  laid 
down.  It  speaks  much  for  the  natural  correct  feeling 
of  the  Chinese  that,  after  two  hundred  years  of 
" persecution,”  all  the  foreign  graves  were  uninjured, 
in  a perfectly  open,  unprotected,  cultivated  field  ; and 
all  the  Latin  inscriptions  were  still  legible : the  graves 
were  enclosed  in  a railing  in  the  presence  of  myself 
and  the  hien,  at  “ Old  Chu’s  ” personal  order.  I wish  all 
the  “ Christian  ” officers  whose  interest  I have  served 
had  been  as  high-minded  towards  me  as  the  “ pagan  ” 
Chu  Ts'ai,  with  whom  I fought  so  hard. 


A TRUCULENT  OFFICIAL 

The  taotai  Chu  of  Hainan  enjoyed  a revenge  for  all 
the  passages  which  had  occurred  between  us  by 
administering  a “Parthian  snub”  to  me  at  the  last 
moment:  he  passed  my  house  door  and  went  on 
board  his  boat  without  calling,  simply  sending  his 
card  by  a kavass  (as  Prince  Ferdinand  of  Bulgaria  once 
did  to  Baron  de  Calice, — who,  by  the  way,  may  have 
learnt  “ ideas  ” in  such  matters  when  at  Tientsin  on 
November  7,  1871).  But  I underwent  no  irritation 
at  this  slight  ; indeed,  very  likely  the  old  fellow,  like 
myself,  felt  that  in  such  a heat  official  visits  were  a 


\eip<t)V  VOflO^  341 

nuisance,  and  he  really  meant  no  harm  : Hainan  is 
the  only  part  of  China  which  can  be  called  tropical, 
and  in  July  the  heat  is  truly  fearful.  But  this  pre- 
cedent of  avoiding  duty  calls  was  a bad  example 
for  his  successor  Chou,  who,  being  only  an  acting 
man  and  a confirmed  opium-smoker,  soon  gave-  signs 
both  that  he  was  “ on  the  squeeze,”  and  that  he  was 
going  to  show  his  teeth : in  fact,  the  incident  about 
to  be  described  occurred  before  Chu  actually  left, 
though  he  had  already  ceased  holding  the  seals ; and 
I cannot  say  which  of  the  two  taotais  conceived 
^ the  general  plan  of  attack.  Readers  must  not  be 
I surprised : the  Chinese  officials  delight  in  this  sort  of 
I thing ; the  mistake  of  foreigners  often  lies  in  their 

I making  too  much  ado ; it  is  much  easier  (and  greater 

5 sport,  too)  to  circumvent  the  Celestials,  and  to  pay 
: them  back  in  their  own  coin. 

; Mr.  Chou  “ opened  the  ball  ” by  burglariously  and  in 
j person  entering  the  American  missionaries’  residence  : 
this  was  at  the  island  capital,  a city  four  miles  from 
; Hoihow  where  I lived.  When  news  came  to  me  of  this 

' unprecedented  act,  I at  once  saw  I had  to  deal  with  a 

' fool  as  well  as  a knave ; and  although  the  head  of  the 
I mission  was  a Dane,  and  thus  officieusement  British, 
(curiously  enough,  a despatch  received  shortly  after 
this  from  the  Danish  Minister  of  Foreign  Affairs 
requested  me  officially  to  hand  over  Danish  interests 
I to  the  nearest  Russian  official),  while  the  house  entered 
was  American,  I experienced  no  difficulty  in  finding 

I 

1 


342 


POLICE  AND  THEIR  MASTERS 


a weak  spot  in  the  Chinese  armour.  The  facts  were 
as  follow ; The  Protestant  missionaries  all  lived  together 
in  a good-sized  temple,  large  enough  to  accommodate 
four  families,  and  slightly  modified  and  enlarged  to 
meet  foreign  requirements.  Strictly  speaking,  the 
taotai  had  perhaps  a right  to  worship  officially  at 
that  temple,  and  in  any  case  it  is  unwise  for  mis- 
sionaries to  object  to  “ inspection,”  even  in  their  more 
private  houses,  when  there  are  rumours  about  babies’ 
eyes  being  wanted  for  photography,  and  other  such 
silly  yarns  flying  about.  But  in  this  case  Mr.  Chou 
was  clearly  shown  to  have  acted  unreasonably  and 
arrogantly,  for  both  his  and  their  correspondence  and 
visiting  cards  were  in  my  hands  to  prove  it. 

It  would  have  been  perfectly  easy  to  obtain  his  instant 
dismissal,  especially  if  facts  had  been  strained  to  their 
utmost  capacity.  For  instance,  it  might  have  been 
truly  said : “ Notwithstanding  Mr.  X.’s  repeated 

written  offers  to  wait  upon  you  in  person  and  inform 
you  as  to  the  progress  of  the  medical  and  other 
missions,  you  decline  either  to  receive  him  or  to  send 
written  reply  ; you  present  yourself  unannounced  before 
the  door  of  a lady  who  is  about  to  be  confined  ; you 
burst  it  open  ; flood  the  precincts  with  your  brutal 
runners,  who  steal  this,  frighten  that,  etc.,  etc.”  That 
is  how  to  make  “war,”  if  we  want  war. 

However,  here  it  was  that  Captain  (or  now  Colonel) 
Ch'en’s  diplomatic  opportunity  occurred ; he  was 
deputed  by  the  taotai  to  mollify  me.  He  frankly 


UNHONOURED  AND  UNSUNG" 


343 


admitted  that  his  superior  had  made  a goose  of  himself, 
but  he  pleaded  that  it  was  a fearful  “ come  down  ” to 
make  him  apologise.  But  he  had  to  apologise  ; this 
was  on  the  third  day  after  the  “ burglary.” 

The  wretched  taotai  had  meanwhile  made  things  worse 
by  writing  to  me : “ When  you  pay  me  your  first 
visit,  I will  explain,  etc.,  etc.  ” ; to  which  I promptly 
replied  : “ I don’t  intend  to  pay  you  a first  visit ; it 
is  your  duty  to  make  the  introductory  call  upon  me ; 
and  quickly,  too.”  In  the  case  of  some  officials  it 
would  really  be  a diplomatic  triumph  to  have  succeeded 
in  cornering  them  in  this  fashion  ; but  Chou  Ping-hiin 
(that  was  his  name)  was  such  a stupid  loon  that  I 
almost  felt  ashamed  of  having  to  “ sit  ” on  him  so 
hard. 

After  nearly  a fortnight  of  haggling,  he  and  Captain 
Ch'en  at  last  came  to  pay  the  taotai'?,  first  visit 
together,  and  “ enjoyed  themselves  ” very  much.  No- 
thing whatever  but  cakes  and  ale  was  talked  about. 
The  taotai  was  such  an  ignorant  noodle  that  he 
imagined  Ch'en,  who  only  talked  a little  “ pidjin  ” of 
the  vilest  kind,  was  a great  European  scholar  as  well 
as  a great  Chinese  soldier.  I was  by  no  means  sorry 
to  give  the  gallant  captain  a hand  up  in  life.  Six 
months  later  the  taotai  wd,?,  summarily  dismissed  : he  had 
again  tried  his  hand  ; this  time  in  connection  with  the 
opium  squeeze ; but  he  was  easily  pince,  for  I had 
documentary  evidence  under  his  own  seal. 


CHAPTER  XVI 


PERSONAL 


chang-6rh 


HIS  word  means  “Chang  No.  2”;  but,  as  a 


A matter  of  fact,  he  was  Chang  Ta,  or  “Chang 
the  Great  ” : the  name  Chang-erh  strictly  belonged  to, 
and  was  used  by,  his  next  brother,  who  under  that 
name  served  Captain  Gill  along  with  Wang-erh,  as 
is  recorded  in  the  chronicles  of  the  books  on  China 
{River  of  Golden  Sand).  By  a subtle  process  of 
reasoning,  purely  Chinese,  my  Chang-erh  explained  to 
me  that  he  thus  played  second  fiddle  out  of  modesty ; 
but  even  that  leaves  unexplained  what  each  of  the 
pair  would  be  called  if  they  were  together.  Possibly 
some  tabu  was  involved.  It  was  curious  that  two 
brothers,  who  after  boyhood  almost  never  saw  each 
other,  should  both  gravitate  towards  and  travel  with 
the  one  Wang-erh. 

My  servant  began  his  foreign  career  during  the  war 
of  i860,  when  he  was  impounded  and  made  to  assist  in 
tugging  British  guns  up  to  Peking.  From  that  date  the 
family  seems  to  have  left  Tientsin, — his  native  place ; 


344 


EST  MODUS  IN  REBUS 


345 


but  he  always  retained  his  pure  Tientsin  accent ; and, 
though  in  his  mature  years  he  was  addressable  in  six 
dialects,  and  also  in  English,  to  the  last  he  never  uttered 
a word  of  any  one  of  them  in  my  hearing. 

I discovered  him  as  a water-coolie  in  1869,  to  which 
respectable  post  he  had  been  promoted  from  the  lower 
grades  of  scavenger  and  horse-boy  successively.  I was 
struck  by  his  frank,  joyous,  and  devil-may-care  appear- 
ance, and,  along  with  his  original  master,  I employed 
him  that  winter  as  servant-of-all-work  during  a horse- 
back trip  to  the  Mongol  steppes.  His  master  falling 
ill  in  1872,  Chang-erh  came  to  me  for  good  ; but  when 
I went  home  he  obtained  service  in  Pakhoi.  Here 
again  his  employer’s  health  collapsed,  and  he  turned  up 
in  a starving  condition  at  Pagoda  Anchorage  in  1877. 
On  this  occasion  the  change  of  temperature  (autumn) 
was  so  severe  that  he  was  presented  with  a thick  woollen 
singlet  of  my  own  to  ward  off  pneumonia.  This  delicate 
attention  seems  to  have  appealed  to  his  feelings  so 
strongly  that  I never  heard  the  last  of  that  singlet. 
From  that  time  till  1894  he  continued  in  my  service, 
holding  himself  as  “ retained  ” whenever  I went  home 
on  leave. 

Chang-erh  was  an  excellent  instance  of  typical  Chinese 
“ strong  character  ” in  its  pristine,  unpolished  form. 
He  could  never  be  induced  under  any  circumstances 
whatever  to  touch  spirituous  liquors  ; not  even  when 
seriously  ill,  and  when  advised  by  foreign  doctors  to 
do  so.  Nor  would  he  so  much  as  taste  tobacco  in 


346 


PERSONAL 


any  form  ; not  to  say  opium.  He  was  never  able  to 
give  any  explanation  of  this,  except  that  he  was  tsai-li 
(=  in  the  interior),  or  belonged  to  what  is  sometimes 
erroneously  called  the  “ Vegetarian  Society.”  I never 
saw  him  raise  his  fist  to  any  man,  and  in  times  of 
danger  he  declined  to  arm  himself ; but  he  never 
showed  the  least  fear,  or  any  desire  to  evade  risks. 
After  the  episode  of  the  warm  singlet  he  decided  to 
check  the  wicked  inroads  of  mankind  upon  my 
purse  by  acting  as  cook  as  well  as  boy ; and,  like 
Poo-Bah,  he  did  this  by  keeping  rapid-change  suits 
of  clothes  for  the  several  occasions.  He  was  open- 
handed  in  money  matters  (my  money) ; but  he 
never  possessed  or  wanted  to  possess  any  savings,  or 
any  property  whatever,  except  that  in  current  use. 
At  one  time  he  used  to  neglect  his  mother  and  wife ; 
but  that  was  as  much  from  his  own  heedlessness  and 
his  master’s  indifference  as  from  any  heartlessness. 
For  twenty  years  he  did  double  duty,  and  received 
only  half  his  single  pay  : whenever  he  had  a slice  of  luck 
he  sent  most  of  his  gains  to  his  mother,  and  would 
have  been  still  more  generous  to  her  had  not  his 
brothers  and  other  relatives  traded  upon  his  simplicity. 
His  great  fault  (of  which  I never  took  a harsh  view,  as 
it  was  consonant  to  all  human  nature)  was  a weakness 
for  “petticoats” — or  the  garments  which  serve  their 
purpose  in  the  Far  East.  He  was  alike  popular  with 
Coreans,  Japanese,  Burmese,  and  Tamils,  as  also  with 
every  kind  of  Chinese.  In  a word,  he  was  a most 


ne/3t77\oo9  347 

curious  instance  of  an  ignorant  man,  without  any 
conscience  or  principle,  acting  throughout  his  life  in 
a just  and  philosophical  spirit.  He  died  of  heart 
failure  (I  am  told)  ; but  it  certainly  did  not  fail  on  my 
account. 

A DANGEROUS  OUTING 

About  a day’s  journey  by  land  to  the  south  of 
Taku  there  is  a place  called  K'i-k'ou,  where  a small 
river  runs  into  the  gulf  Probably  this  place  is  now 
in  the  hands  of  the  allied  troops,  as  there  are  some 
forts  and  a camp  there.  Thirty  years  ag6  the  forts 
were  of  not  much  account,  nor  were  they  armed  with 
modern  artillery,  even  to  the  extent  of  muzzle-loading 
Armstrong-s.  They  were  situated  on  the  right  bank, 
and  were  only  approached  by  tortuous  paths.  Such 
as  they  were,  I visited  them  and  reported  upon  them, 
and  also  on  the  forts  of  Taku  and  Peit'ang. 

Together  with  one  of  the  local  pilots  and  the  chief 
custom-house  officer,  I went  for  a sail  to  K'i-k'ou  ; but 
even  the  pilot-boat  could  not  get  within  five  miles  of 
the  river-mouth,  so  that  we  had  to  take  the  punt  into 
the  creek.  This  punt  was  just  big  enough  for  three. 
But  we  were  late  on  the  tide,  and  it  was  as  much 
as  we  could  do  to  inspect  the  forts,  get  to  the  punt, 
and  push  off  before  darkness  came  on  and  the  tide 
turned  out  again.  So  long  as  it  was  slack  water 
things  went  slowly  but  pretty  well  ; still,  we  all  had 
to  take  relief  turns  at  the  sculls,  and  I nearly  rowed 


348 


PERSONAL 


the  skin  ofif  my  hands.  At  last  it  grew  quite  dark, 
and  we  lost  the  direction  of  the  pilot-boat.  The  tide 
was  running  out  rapidly.  Only  a couple  of  Chinamen 
were  left  on  board  the  cutter,  and  there  was  no  light. 
If  we  had  missed  her,  we  should  inevitably  have  been 
swept  out  to  sea ; and  besides,  the  water  was  getting 
very  rough  for  our  small  punt.  We  had  no  lights 
ourselves,  and  our  shouts  were  quite  inaudible,  even 
a few  yards  off,  owing  to  the  noise  of  the  wind  and 
the  waves.  Fortunately  French,  the  pilot,  had  brought 
his  fowling-piece  with  him  on  the  chance  of  getting  a 
stray  duck  ; and  there  was  one  cartridge  left.  He  Bred 
it  off  in  the  hope  that  the  Chinese  skipper  would 
hear  it  and  have  the  sense  to  show  a light,  which,  to 
our  great  relief,  he  soon  did : we  clambered  safely 
on  board  after  another  hour  of  pulling,  all  dead  beat. 
That  night  a strong  gale  freshened  up,  and  I was 
lost  in  admiration  of  the  calm  coolness  of  the  skipper 
and  his  mate.  The  sail  was  a Chinese  one  fashioned 
out  of  matting,  or,  at  all  events,  of  a native  cut,  and 
the  whole  management  of  the  boat  lay  in  the  two 
natives’  hands. 

On  another  occasion  I hired  a large  junk  to  cross 
the  Samsah  inlet  in  Fuh  Kien  province:  this  was  on 
the  occasion  of  a very  fresh  night.  The  sea  ran  high, 
and  the  navigation  was  as  intricate  as  the  night  was 
dark  ; but  the  Chinese  skipper  and  his  two  mates 
manoeuvred  the  junk  in  a most  masterly  manner,  and 
at  last  ran  us  up  a long  tidal  creek  to  a point  at  the 


“NON  EQUIDEM  INVIDEO:  MIROR  MAGIS”  349 


head  of  the  post-road,  just  on  the  top  of  the  daily 
tide.  The  charge  for  a hundred-ton  junk  for  sixty 
miles  was  half  a crown  (in  English  money).  At  Hoihow 
the  boatmen  manage  to  sail  their  clumsy  craft  in 
tremendous  seas  such  as  no  foreign  gig  will  tackle. 

On  the  rapids  of  the  Yangtsze  and  many  other 
rivers  I have  often  felt  that  my  life  lay  absolutely 
in  the  discretion  of  the  Chinese  skipper  or  pilot.  In 
steamer  navigation  a Chinaman  cannot  be  so  well 
trusted,  probably  because  unfamiliar  with  the  essential 
principles  of  novel  methods ; but  as  rule-of-thumb 
navigators  along  coasts,  or  up  creeks  and  rivers,  the 
Chinaman  is  not  easily  excelled  ; and  accordingly  I 
feel  a sentiment  of  gratitude  towards  him  for  favours 
received. 


THE  BARBER’S  “PIDJIN” 

Nothing  is  more  demoralising  to  the  beginner  in 
Chinese  than  the  inveterate  practice  of  talking  “pidjin  ” 
English  (i.e.  bvinis,  or  “ business  ” English).  Apart 
from  the  fact  that  a fresh  dialect  confronts  the  foreigner 
in  nearly  every  port,  and  that  it  is  the  exception  for 
foreign  officials  to  learn  anything  but  Pekingese,  it  is 
not  considered  “ good  form  ” to  make  an  exhibition 
of  one’s  dialect-learning  when  addressing  servants 
at  table ; and  thus  nearly  every  one  drops  into  the 
slovenly  habit.  The  barber  at  Canton  was  one  of  the 
glibbest  conversationalists  in  this  absurd  jargon  I ever 
met,  and  he  once  gave  me  a certificate  of  character 


350 


PERSONAL 


which  I highly  appreciated.  I may  mention  that 
“ pidjin  ” is  practically  Chinese  colloquial  composition 
with  English  words  substituted.  The  following  was 
the  burden  of  our  remarks  : 

“ Mornin’,  barber-man.” 

“ Mornin’,  Missi  Consun  ; wanchee  my  cuttee  heh  ? ” 

“ Yes  ; no  wanchee  cuttee  too  muchee  ; can  cuttee 
littee.” 

“ Oil  ligh ! My  savee.  My  cuttee  any  man  heh  : 
plenty  man  catchee  my  shabe  he,  ebbily  mornin’. 
Beforetime  Hongkong  gubbunor  olio  time  my  shabe 
he.” 

“ What  ting  have  got  to-day,  barber-man  ? ” 

“ New  piecy  wice-loy  hab  go  ngamihi  (jyamen)  to-day.” 
“ That  Chinaman  talkee  he  belong  good  man  ? ” 

“ No  man  savey : moos  wait  littee  time,  can  see. 
Some  man  talkee  he  moos  wanchee  stop  lat  gambaloo.” 
“ Have  got  too  muchee  gamble-housee  that  creek 
side  ! ” 

“ Yih  ! Beforetime  Sir  Blook  Lobisson  no  pay  he 
stop  lat  side.” 

“ What  for  that  viceroy  he  soldier-man  no  look  out  ? ” 
“ He  no  likee.  S’pose  Missi  Hance  no  bobbery 
[bother]  he,  he  no  likee  too  hat  [hard].  Missi  Hance 
no  savee  China  talkee : moos  wanchee  new  piecy  largee 
Consun  talkee  he.” 

“ Mr,  Hance  knew  all  about  it : he  told  the  flower- 
boats  to  clear  out  long  ago,  and  the  wai-yiin  [the 
viceroy’s  deputy]  have  got  order.” 


DAMN  WITH  FAINT  PRAISE 


351 


“ Missi  Hance  numba  one  good  man : he  lat  hat 
[that  heart]  too  muchee  soft.  My  tinky  Missi  Consun 
too  muchy  soft  hat,  too.” 

“ Any  man  talkee  my  so  fashion  ? What  ting  that 
Chinaman  talkee  my?” 

“ Lat  Chinaman  talkee  consun-side  too  muchy 
bijinis ; Missi  Consun  any  ting  can  makee.  Maskee 
[ = never  mind]  what  ting,  olio  belong  ploppa  [proper].” 

“ Chinaman  talky  my  so  fashion  ? ” 

“Yih!  Any  man  talky;  suppose  no  got  Missi 
Consun,  no  can  ! ” 

“ What  for  no  can  ? What  thing  my  got  number  one  ? ” 
“ Olio  man  talkee,  follin  man  come  Canton  side, 
beforetime  Missi  Mayers  numba  one  : Missi  Mayers 
hab  go  way  ; olio  Chinaman  talky  Missi  Consun  numba 
one  onsz-tan  [understand].” 


AND  HE  WENT  FOR  THAT  HEATHEN  CHINEE 

In  Sz  Ch'wan  it  was  my  practice  to  walk  from  twenty 
to  thirty,  and  even  forty  miles  a day,  winter  and 
summer.  It  was  an  agreeable  discovery  to  find  that 
in  the  excessively  hot  weather  the  coolest  travelling- 
place  was  in  the  sun,  under  an  umbrella  covered  with 
an  extra  coat  of  white  cotton  cloth.  The  confinement 
of  a sedan-chair  was  intolerable,  except  during  the 
smoking  half-hour  after  each  meal  ; and  besides,  it  was 
delightful  to  be  in  a position  to  talk  freely  to  wayfarers 
about  the  common  objects  of  the  road. 


352 


PERSONAL 


In  this  way  I used  to  accompany  soldiers,  hawkers, 
police,  tramps — in  fact,  any  one  who  would  grant  an 
audience  to  the  barbarian.  Moreover,  every  Chinese 
house  has  an  inscription  ; every  Chinese  street  a pro- 
clamation, or  a score  of  advertisements,  notices,  and 
warnings ; so  that  the  events  of  a single  day’s  walk 
necessitated  at  least  two  hours  of  writing  up  every 
evening.  Some  distance  behind  me  was  my  four- 
bearer  official  chair,  and  a relief  crew  of  four  more 
straggling  carriers ; then  the  three-bearer  chair  of  the 
cook,  and  the  two-bearer  chair  of  VVang-erh,  each  with 
an  extra  “shoulder”:  two  men  carried  my  trunk,  and 
the  fu-t'ou,  or  “man-head,”  brought  up  the  rear.  Yet 
sometimes  it  was  very  exhausting  in  the  pitiless  sun, 
and  the  five  minutes’  rest  in  the  shade  at  intervals  were 
very  delicious. 

One  afternoon  I looked  wistfully  back  at  my  chair 
(which  had  a way  of  tempting  me  as  little  as  possible 
by  lagging  far  in  the  rear)  ; but,  as  the  bearers  were 
more  exhausted  than  myself,  I thought  I would  push 
on  to  a “ virtuous  widow’s  arch  ” I spied  half  a mile 
ahead.  These  gates  or  portals  are  as  common  in  China 
as  pagodas  are  in  Burma : in  Sz  Ch'wan  they  are 
almost  invariably  constructed  of  durable  granites,  and 
they  leave  a shadow  about  sufficient  for  one  man. 
Usually  there  is  a smooth  stone  seat  at  the  foot  of  one 
or  both  the  shafts,  originally  intended  apparently  as 
an  aid  to  travellers  mounting  horses  after  a rest. 

As  I approached  this  particular  arch,  I observed 


“THE  ‘LARK’  AT  HEAVEN’S  ‘GATE’”  353 


a coolie  with  his  load  resting  there,  and  monopolising 
the  whole  available  shade.  The  disappointment  was 
very  keen,  but  of  course  it  was  out  of  the  question 
to  eject  him.  Necessity  is  indeed  the  mother  of 
invention,  for,  just  as  I struggled  panting  up,  an  unkind 
idea  struck  me.  Looking  hard  into  the  grass,  I asked  ; 
“ Is  this  packet  yours  ? ” 

He  said  : “ What  packet  ? ” 

I replied  : “ This  paper  packet  of  silver.” 

The  coolie  shot  up  like  an  arrow  and  flew  to  the  spot. 
By  the  time  he  had  turned  round  to  seek  an  explana- 
tion, I was  sitting  on  the  vacant  stone. 

After  staring  nonplussed  for  a moment,  he  burst 
into  a guffaw  of  laughter  such  as  few  Chinaman  ever 
indulge  in,  and,  as  he  walked  down  the  road  with  his 
baskets  of  opium,  for  sale  at  the  nearest  market,  I heard 
him  rapidly  talking  to  my  exhausted  caravan  men. 
There  were  roars  of  delight  from  that  quarter  too,  and 
somehow  the  story  seemed  to  catch  fire  all  over  the 
valley,  for  people  pricked  up  their  ears  in  every 
direction  to  hear  the  good  news,  which  even  got  ahead 
of  us  to  the  inn,  through  the  agency  of  some  “ express  ” 
carriers  of  silver.  This  pious  fraud  (justified,  I hope, 
by  stress  of  circumstances  in  my  book  of  doom)  earned 
me  quite  a little  reputation  with  the  carriers,  whose 
friendliness — always  phenomenal — seemed  from  that 
day  to  take  even  an  affectionate  turn  ; for  “ one  touch 
of  nature  makes  the  whole  world  kin.” 


23 


354 


PERSONAL 


CHANG-ERH’S  VILLAINY 

Often  and  often  I had  sat  at  my  solitary  dinner 
listening  to  Chang-erh’s  voluble  sermons,  the  delivery 
of  which  I used  to  encourage  for  dialect  purposes,  so 
long  as  I was  not  expected  to  reply.  He  used  to 
stand  behind  me,  ready  to  bolt  the  instant  I growled : 
“ Get  away ! I am  tired  of  listening.” 

This  was  his  usual  style : “ Man  is  born  into  the 
world  with  empty  hands  : he  can’t  take  anything  with 
him  to  the  grave.  Hence  I never  squeeze  ; and  after 
nearly  twenty  years’  experience  of  me  you  know  it. 
Nor  do  I smoke  or  drink.  My  weaknesses  are  those 
of  nature.  Moreover,  my  parents  married  me  to  a 
lunatic.  ‘ An  old  woman’s  ears  are  slung  on  to  no 
purpose.’  Money  is  useless  to  the  man  of  conscience. 
Now,  there’s  the  old  t'ing-cJiai,  who  squeezes  and 
smokes .”  At  this  kind  of  juncture  he  was  some- 

times told  he  might  accuse  the  Ving-cJiai  to  his  face 
if  he  liked,  or  he  was  simply  requested  to  “ get  out.” 
Still,  the  effect  of  this  incessant  reiteration  had  really 
half-convinced  me  that  Chang-erh  was,  any  way,  not 
a common  scoundrel,  but  only  a trifle  weak  in  his 
“ rules  of  evidence.” 

One  day,  during  the  building  of  a consulate  at 
Chemulpho,  I was  obliged  to  start  promptly  for  Soul. 
I had  to  leave  some  orders  with  the  Japanese  builder; 
and  so  I sent  for  his  friend  the  washerwoman  to  act 
as  interpreter,  I wound  up  by  saying  to  her : “ And 


JOVE  LAUGHS  AT  LOVERS’  PERJURY”  355 


you  yourself,  you  had  better  give  that  Chinese  “ boy  ” 
of  mine  a wide  berth,  for  he  is  the  very  devil  with 
women,  if  he  gets  a chance.” 

“ Oh  ! you  know  that  ? ” said  she,  surprised. 

“ Know  it  ? of  course  I do,  after  over  fifteen  years 
of  him  : he  is  the  biggest  humbug  going.” 

“ Well,  to  tell  you  the  truth,  I wanted  to  complain 
of  him  the  last  time  you  went,  but  I was  afraid  of 
getting  into  trouble  myself.” 

“ How  was  it  ? ” 

“Well,  the  last  time  you  went,  he  made  advances 
by  signs  both  to  me  and  to  the  carpenter’s  wife  on 
several  occasions,  and  I had  to  get  the  carpenter  to 
remonstrate.  The  carpenter  threatened  to  tell  you ; 
but  the  codk-san  [=  Mr.  Chef]  said^,  (so  far  as  we  could 
understand  his  few  words  of  English,)  that  he  had 
been  with  you  nearly  twenty  years,  and  that  you 
believed  everything  he  said.  He  said  that  if  I com- 
plained to  you,  only  one  single  word  from  him  would 
be  necessary,  and  he  would  get  the  washing  for  these 
two  houses  given  to  some  one  else ; and  probably  the 
building  contract,  too,  would  be  given  away  to  a 
Chinaman.” 

“ All  right.  You  need  not  say  any  more  to  either 
the  cook  or  the  carpenter ; and  I will  manage  so  that 
there  will  be  no  ill-feeling.” 

Nothing  was  said  until  some  time  afterwards,  when 
the  Corean  coolies,  chairs,  etc.,  were  all  at  the  door 
waiting  to  start.  Just  as  I got  into  the  chair,  before 


356 


PERSONAL 


all  the  servants  and  several  European  onlookers,  I 
said : “ Look  well  after  the  house,  boy ! And,  by 
the  way,  you  are  forbidden  to  speak  to  either  the 
Japanese  washerwoman  or  to  the  carpenter’s  wife.” 
Chang-erh’s  face  was  a study  in  emotional  expression 
worthy  of  Darwin’s  scrutiny ; as  for  the  bystanders, 
there  was  what  the  French  call  a sensation,  and  a 
decided  viouvevmit. 

Three  or  four  days  later  I returned,  and  on  the 
first  opportunity  Chang-erh  began  as  usual  from 
behind  my  chair : “ Man  is  born,  etc.,  etc.  I have 
served  you,  etc.,  etc.  That  Japanese  woman  falsely 

states ” “ Get  out ; and  never  speak  to  me  about 

it  again ! I never  told  you  the  Japanese  woman  had 
stated  anything.  If  you  had  not  been  with  me  for 
over  fifteen  years  I should  have  dismissed  you.  I 
don’t  care  what  you  do  outside  ; but  in  my  house 
I expect  you  to  be  loyal  to  your  trust.” 

Chang-erh  never  quite  recovered  from  the  crushing 
effects  of  this  blow ; and  perhaps  it  was  on  account 
of  the  episode  described  that  he  ultimately  married  a 
second  time,  on  his  lunatic  wife’s  death. 

THAT  STRAIGHT  HEART 

Chang-erh  spoke  the  Tientsin  variety  of  Pekingese, 
which  differs  but  slightly  from  its  congener  (or  proto- 
type, as  the  case  may  be).  I was  always  glad  to  get 
an  opportunity  of  listening  to  him  without  having  to 
undergo  the  boredom  of  his  conversation,  which  was 


ASSURANCE  DOUBLE  SURE 


357 


of  the  Sam  Weller  type,  interlarded  with  the  sentiments 
of  Stiggins.  Hence  I was  very  pleased,  as  I lay  in 
bed  one  day  at  the  chief  Shanghai  hotel,  to  hear  an 
animated  conversation  going  on  between  him  and  a 
Ningpo  “ boy,”  each  yelling  out  his  words  and  repeating 
them  in  his  own  patois,  so  as  to  give  the  other  a better 
chance  to  understand.  The  burden  of  the  conversation 
was  “ masters  ” in  general,  and  I learnt  with  satisfac- 
tion of  myself  specifically  that  though  my  temper  was 
bad  {jH-cHi  pu-hao),  my  heart  was  straight  {sin-li  tao- 
cheng).  Sundry  anecdotes  followed  as  to  how  I had 
falsely  accused  Chang-erh  of  moving  the  soap,  the 
wine,  the  ink,  or  some  other  article ; and  how,  after  all, 
it  was  confessed  by  me  that  I had  myself  transferred 
it  by  mistake  into  the  shaving-box,  the  cupboard,  the 
office,  etc.,  etc. 

Some  months  after  this  I was  gazing  through  the 
sun-blinds,  whilst  dressing,  at  Jack  the  boatman  and 
his  sons,  engaged  in  clipping  the  grass  of  the  consular 
garden  at  Pagoda  Anchorage,  when  instinctively  I 
felt  about  for  the  key  of  the  safe,  thinking  how  easy 
it  would  be  for  some  one  to  slip  under  the  sun-blinds, 
make  off  with  it  whilst  I was  bathing,  and  then  rob 
the  safe.  I used  to  keep  the  key  for  absolute  security 
in  my  cholera-belt ; but,  apparently,  1 had  not  taken 
the  belt  with  me  as  usual  to  the  bath-room  to-day,  for 
there  it  was,  on  the  settee.  Horrors  upon  horror’s 
head  ! The  key  was  not  in  it.  I at  once  summoned 
Chang-erh  with  a roar  of  irrepressible  indignation. 


358 


PERSONAL 


“ Now,  I want  no  nonsense  on  this  occasion : I mean 
business.  You  alone  are  responsible  for  the  safety  of 
my  house.  I’m  not  going  to  have  others  falsely 
accused.  I went  to  the  bath  five  minutes  ago,  and 
myself  felt  the  keys  in  the  belt  as  usual.  There 
lies  the  belt,  empty!  I give  you  two  minutes  to 
find  them.” 

The  confusion  was  fearful : the  whole  house  was  at 
once  in  a state  of  alarm.  The  writer,  gatekeeper,  coolies, 
boatmen, — everybody  was  at  once  summoned  ; fearful 
altercations  took  place ; and  despair  was  written  upon 
each  man’s  countenance.  More  in  sorrow  than  in 
anger,  Chang-erh  at  last,  in  desperation,  fixed  upon 
one  of  the  boatmen  with  whom  he  had  once  had 
words,  and  who  was  only  Jack’s  adopted  son  or  nephew, 
besides  being  a bit  of  a gay  Lothario,  and  a rival. 
There  was  no  evidence  whatever  ; but  Jack  was  sent  for, 
and  it  was  put  to  him  as  an  honest  man  appealingly : 
“ The  master  had  the  keys  in  his  belt ; he  goes  to 
his  bath  ; you  five  only  are  in  sight ; he  returns  in 
two  minutes  ; the  keys  are  not  in  his  belt.  How  do 
you  explain  it?” 

Poor  Jack  scratched  his  pate  thoughtfully,  and  gave 
it  up.  The  event,  however,  was  one  of  such  gigantic 
magnitude  that  something  clearly  must  be  done. 
Meanwhile,  I went  on  dressing,  and  they  all  retired 
to  accuse  each  other  of  neglect,  if  not  worse.  Sadly 
I put  the  tell-tale  belt  over  my  head  and  shoulders ; 
but,  to  my  surprise,  I found  it  would  not  meet  for 


IN  ‘BELLO’  NON  LICET  BIS  ERRARE”  359 


tying  purposes  round  my  stomach.  This,  I then  dis- 
covered, was  a clean  belt  just  come  from  the  wash, 
and  I had  already  put  on  the  other,  keys  and  all, 
beneath  instead  of  outside  my  gauze  singlet.  Here 
was  a pretty  pickle ! Here  was  a nice  public  display 
of  p'i-clii\  There  was  only  one  way  out  of  it. 

“ Boy  ! ” I roared. 

Dja"  (=“Yes,  sir”),  replied  Chang-erh  from  a 
considerable  distance. 

“ I have  found  the  keys.” 

“ Where  were  they?”  enquired  the  merciless  Chang-erh. 

“ In  the  belt.” 

“ And  where  was  the  belt  ? ” 

“On  my  tu-tsz"  (=  stomach). 

On  hearing  this,  Chang-erh’s  feelings  were  too  much 
for  him.  Like  Peter  of  old,  he  went  out  and  cried 
bitterly.  Yet  they  were  respectful  and  altruistic  tears, 
like  those  Mr.  Stead  sheds  for  Lord  Milner.  But 
my  mind  was  not  “ lost  ” ; it  was  only  absent. 

After  he  had  blubbered  a while, — once  more  ; “ Boy  ! ” 
“ Djar 

“You  can  tell  the  others.” 

What  he  told  them  I don’t  know,  but  I hope  the 
sin-li  was  still  described  as  chcng.  Possibly  this  event, 
too,  had  a share  in  deciding  Chang-erh  to  get  him  a 
second  wife  as  a solace  for  his  wrongs. 


GLOSSARY 

{Being  supplementary  to  that  already  published  m “ China  ”) 


A,  This  prefix  to  “Christian” 
names  is  universal  in  Canton,  but 
not  so  general  elsewhere.  It  is 
like our^  in  “Johnny,”  “ Katey,” 
etc.,  and  is  never  used  in  serious 
literary  composition,  except  in 
order  to  indicate  criminals  by  their 
known  names. 

Akhtind.  The  Chinese  form  a-kung 
is  pretty  well  understood  in  edu- 
cated circles. 

Amah.  This  word  is  not  Chinese, 
though  in  use  all  over  China  in 
the  sense  of  foreigners’  Oriental 
nurses.  Still,  the  Chinese  have 
a word  ma,  which  is  in  common 
use  for  “old  woman,”  or 
" dueha”  •,  and  a-??ta  would  be 
good  Chinese  for  “ nursey.”  A 
fortiori  the  word  ayah  is  not 
Chinese  ; but  it  will  be  noticed 
in  one  of  my  stories  that  the 
Annamese  say  bay  a for  “ old 
crone.” 

“ Bags.”  The  Chinese  trousers  are 
an  absolute  “square,”  without 
any  shaping  or  fit ; almost  as  if 
you  took  a sack,  slit  it  up  two- 
thirds  of  the  way  through  the 
middle,  thrust  the  bottom  out  to 
admit  the  passage  of  the  feet,  and 
then  “got  in.”  I once  really 
had  to  wear  sacks  instead  of 
clothes,  so  I can  state  this  with 
confidence. 

Black  Flags.  There  were  for  many 
years  the  Yellow  and  Black  Flag 
bandit  rivals  on  the  Annamo- 
Chinese  frontier. 


Bo.  Mhtg-ku  bo,  “ Mongol  tents,” 
is  quite  understood  in  colloquial 
Pekingese.  In  Manchu  (Chinese) 
history  tui-bo  is  frequently  used 
for  the  Emperor’s  hunting-  or 
picket -tents ; hence  shwei-po,  or 
“ water-pickets  ” on  the  river. 
A large  number  of  Mongol  and 
Manchu  words  are  thus  adopted 
into  Pekingese  ; but  po  may  very 
well  be  a Chinese  W'ord  : it  is  not 
understood  in  the  south. 

'‘Brother.”  Ko  (elder)  and  ti 
(younger)  both  mean  “brother.” 

BuddhSchinga.  A Hindoo  Buddhist 
who  came  to  China  Turkestan 
in  A.D.  328. 

Cat-head.  A mao-rh-t'ou  of  rice  is 
just  like  a cat’s  head.  A small 
bowl  is  filled  from  the  steamer 
with  a wooden  ladle,  and  then 
a similar  small  bowl  full  of  rice 
is  clapped  hard  on  to  the  first : 
thus  there  can  be  no  fraudulent 
“ hollows  ” at  the  bottom  of  each 
“ whack  ” of  rice. 

Ch'ang-an  Sz,  “ Long-peace  Mon- 
astery.” 

Chinaman.  This  word  was  one  of 
Sir  Thomas  Wade’s  pet  aversions, 
and  the  Rev.  Arthur  Smith  also 
condemns  it.  It  is  enough  for 
me  that  it  has  been  adopted  into 
common  English.  Besides,  the 
word  “East  Indiaman”  is 
classical,  and  “Manilaman”  is 
our  only  possible  word.  In  the 
same  way,  “China  New  Year” 


361 


362 


GLOSSARY 


(an  expression  particularly  loathed 
of  Sir  Thomas)  may  be  compared 
with  “ Russia  leather.”  After  all, 
the  vigorous  expression  of  our 
thoughts  is  the  main  object  of 
language.  When  Huggins  said  : 
“ I will  militate  no  longer  against 
his  nescience^'  he  was  correct. 
Dr.  Johnson  admitted  his  mastery 
of  the  subject,  but  added  : “ He 
wants  expression : he  has  ball 
without  powder.” 

Chong-sz.  Pekingese  chwang-sh'i, 
“plea- master” ; also  called  chong- 
kxven,  or  “plea  scoundrels,”  of 
whom  I,  as  a.  - member  of  the 
“ utter-bar,”  must  accordingly  be 
held  one,  though  only  “a  very 
little  one.” 

“ Compound."  Enclosure.  I have 
somewhere  seen  that  this  is  a 
corruption  of  a Javanese  or  Malay 
word  kampong,  or  “village 
enclosure.” 

Cuspidor.  Portuguese,  “spittoon.” 

Dacoits.  The  word  commonly  used 
in  Burma  for  “bandits,”  “rebels,” 
and  (when  we  are  angry  with 
them)  “patriots.”  Hindoo, 

Dhobi.  Hindustani  for  “washer- 
man.” 

Dja.  This  borrowed  Manchu  word 
(/V)  is  sanctioned  by  Sir  Thomas 
Wade  in  the  form  cha,  but  it  is 
only  used  in  Peking,  or  by 
Manchus.  My  “ boy  ” habitually 
made  use  of  it ; but  I never  heard 
any  other  Chinese,  at  any  other 
time  or  place,  once  utter  the 
word. 

Facfur.  I believe  this  is  an  attempt 
to  represent  some  Arabic  word 
corresponding  to  “ Son  of 
Heaven  ” ; Chinese,  7" ien-tsz  ; 
Japanese,  Ten-shi ; Hiung-nu, 
Shen-yii ; Tungusic,  Yiiwen  ; 
Russian,  Bogdo  Khan,  etc. 

Fan- 1' an.  “Turn  [over  the  cup 

concealing  the  coins  and]  part 
[with  the  chopstick  to  see  who 
has  guessed  the  correct  fraction].” 


Fatshan.  Cantonese  for  Fo-shan, 
“ Buddha’s  Hill”  ; properly  Fet- 
shan  or  Aw^shan,  Budh  being 
the  sound  originally  intended. 

Feihoo.  “ Flying  Tiger.” 

Hakkas.  Cantonese  pronunciation 
of  the  Pekingese  K'P-chia,  or 
“guest-families”  {JCeh-kia). 

Hoppo.  The  best  derivation  is 
Ho-peh  So,  or  “ River-anchorage 
Office  ” ; but  I am  not  aware  that 
the  correct  origin  of  the  word  has 
ever  been  proved.  Moreover,  I 
have  never  been  to  a port  where 
the  words  Hopeh  So,  or  Hoppo 
So,  are  colloquially  used.  In 
Canton  the  PIoppo  is  always 
currently  called  the  Hoikwan  by 
natives — i.e.  the  “sea-barrier.” 

Hwei-sing.  Hwei-Lin,  Hwei-sheng, 
and  many  other  enthusiastic 
Chinese  Buddhists  of  the  fourth, 
fifth,  and  sixth  centuries. 

Joss.  No  doubt  a corruption  of 
the  Spanish  Dios,  and  probably 
pointed  out  before  by  others. 

Kanaka.  I do  not  know  what  this 
word  means,  but  it  seems  to  refer 
to  “Pacific  Islanders”  of  any 
kind. 

K'ang.  A word  only  used  exten- 
sively in  the  northern  provinces  ; 
but  the  official  unheated  k'ang, 
or  reception  divan  of  the  yamens, 
is  everywhere  known. 

Kavass.  A Turkish  word  for 
“ orderly,”  or  t'ing-ch'ai. 

Kling.  I resign  this  word  to  my 
Indian  collaborators ; but  I may 
notice  that  Ho-ling,  or  Kha-ling, 
is  as  old  as  the  word  ‘ ‘ pagoda  ” 
(t'ap),  and  seems  to  have  been 
applied  by  the  Chinese  to  the 
Hindoo  colonists  in  Java — i.e. 
to  persons  coming  from  the 
Madras  coast,  where  Tamil  is 
chiefly  spoken.  The  French  and 
Dutch  often  use  the  word 
“ Kling  ” where  we  say  a 
“Tamil.” 


GLOSSARY 


363 


Koslur.  As  most  people  know, 
this  is  the  word  used  in  all 
Israelitish  butchers’  shops,  etc., 
signifying  compliance  there  with 
Jewish  ideas  of  purity  ^^vide 
Mr.  Zangwill). 

Kotow.  Pekingese  k'o-t'ou,  or 
“knock  head”;  the  more  general 
form  is  k'on-fou  (Cantonese 
k'ao-t'ao). 

Kupeh  Koii.  “ Old  North  Pass.” 

K'wa-tsz.  A word  only  understood 
on  the  Upper  Yangtsze  : its 
derivative  meaning  is  not  clear. 

Lung-hu  Shan.  “Dragon  Tiger 
Hill.” 

Maatschappij.  Dutch  for  “mate- 
shaft,”  “mate-ship,”  or  “com- 
pany.” 

Ma-mwi.  Foochow  pronunciation 
of  the  Pekingese  tna-zvei,  or  ma-i, 
“ Horse’s  Tail,”  the  name  of  the 
locality. 

‘ ‘ Mandarin.  ” Another  word  hated 
by  Sir  Thomas.  Kwan  is,  truly 
enough,  an  official  or  “ man- 
darin,” but  the  word  also  means 
“government,”  or  “public.” 
Kwan-hwa  really  means  “com- 
mon tongue,”  as  distinct  from 
t'u-hwa  or  t'u-yin,  “dialects.” 
It  is  akin  to  the  distinction 
between  Sanskrit  and  Prakrit, 
except  that  all  hwa,  or  “ speech,” 
is  necessarily  “vulgar.”  With 
the  exception  of  local  ballads 
and  tales — and  these  in  a few 
places  only  ; — and  with  the  further 
exception  of  novels  in  spoken 
Kwan-hwa,  all  written  language 
is  terse  in  style,  and  is  identical 
for  all  dialects  : it  may  be  roughly 
defined  as  “ roots,  minus  vulgar 
terminations  and  particles.” 
There  is  no  such  a thing  as  “set  ” 
speech  in  China. 

Marti.  The  Chinese  character 
wan,  “ a pellet,  or  bead,”  is  used 
to  write  this,  but  no  one  has  ever 
satisfactorily  explained  why  all 


Japanese  trading  craft  are  called 
marti.  All  their  war-ships  are 
styled  kan,  but  that  is  the  Chinese 
word  Man  or  kien  (pronounced 
lam  in  Canton). 

Mentha  (Burmese).  The  second  syl- 
lable pronounced  as  in  English 
(tharm),  equivalent  to  the  Chinese 
zvang-tsz,  or  “prince  scion.” 

M-koi.  Purely  Cantonese,  “ not 
ought  ” ; the  Pekingese  say  pni- 
kan,  or  ch'i-kan,  “not  dare,”  or 
“how  dare?” 

Mora.  Also  called  ts'ai-k'iian,  or 
“guess  fists.” 

Names.  The  Tseng  brothers  were 
Kwoh-fanand  Kwoh-ts'iian,  which 
would  seem  to  infer  a kwok 
category ; but  I suppose  there 
was  also  used  a sub-category, 
ts'iian,  for  some  family  purpose. 

Nien-fei.  “ Twisted  [turban] 
rebels.”  The  Taipings  proper 
were  popularly  called  “ Long- 
haired rebels.” 

Nijni  Novgorod.  “ Lower  New- 
toun. 

Pagoda.  This  word  is  not  Chinese  ; 
they  always  say  ia  (Cantonese, 
Cap),  originally  t'ap-fo,  a dis- 
syllable introduced  about  fifteen 
hundred  years  ago  in  imitation 
of  the  Hindoo  word  thilpa. 
“Pagoda  Island”  is  called  in 
the  Foochow  dialect  Losing 
T'ak,  or  “ Lo-sing  Pagoda.” 

Panthays.  I have  no  idea  when 
and  how  this  word  came  into 
existence.  I find  in  my  Burmese 
notes  the  w'ord  pathi  (like  En- 
glish path-ee),  “ a Mussulman,” 
and  pandhi  (like  English  pan- 
thee),  “a  Chinese  Mussulman.” 
It  is  therefore  probably  an  Anglo- 
Burman  word. 

Pelcha.  Undoubtedly  a vulgar 
corruption  of  the  Chinese  pieh\t)- 
tsiang,  which,  according  to  rule, 
would  be  pyolchang  in  Corean  ; 
indeed,  the  Corean  dictionaries 


364 


GLOSSARY 


write  these  Chinese  characters, 
and  ignore  the  vulgar  spelling  of 
the  office  in  question. 

“ Pidjin.”  “Business”  or  “pidj- 
ness”  English. 

‘ ‘ PigtailP  In  Chinese,  pien  or pien- 
isz,  “a  plait”;  mentioned  as 
worn  by  the  Tartars  two  thousand 
years  ago. 

Pams.  The  History  of  Canton  .says  ; 
“Anciently  five  genii  rode  as 
many  yan^  [sheep  or  goats]  into 
Canton  ; hence  the  name  ‘ Five 
Ram  City.’  ” As  sheep  will  not 
live  in  South  China,  and  butchers’ 
mutton  is  brought  thither  from 
Calcutta  or  Shanghai,  it  is  plain 
that  “rams”  must  be  euphonic 
for  “billy-goats.”  Most  cities 
have  an  analogous  mythical  name  : 
thus  Foochow  is  the  “City  of 
Banyans.” 

Readoption.  It  is  comparatively 
rare  for  a man  to  be  given  in 
adoption  to  any  but  an  uncle  or 
other  senior  agnate — One  son  may 
marry  two  wives  for  two  fathers 
— i.e.  he  represents  his  father  and 
an  uncle  as  joint  son.  If  a man 
adopted  into  a strange  “ sur- 
name ” is  badly  wanted  by  his 
original  family,  he  may  “ go  back 
to  the  ilk  ” — always  assuming 
that  his  adoptive  family  can  spare 
him. 

Sai-tsiu.  Cantonese  for  si-ch'iao, 
“Western  Scrub.” 

Sampan.  “Three  boards,”  or 
“pine  boards”  (form  differs). 

Shek-wan.  Cantonese  for  Shih- 
wan,  “Stone  Bay.” 

SAi.  This  character,  in  common 
colloquial  use  in  the  sense  of 
“ master,”  “ teacher,”  also  means 
“army,”  “war,”  “model,” 
“ imitate,”  etc.,  in  literature ; 
and  also,  more  rarely,  “lion,” 
Sinha  \ and,  hence,  “Ceylon.” 

SKi-king.  “ Poetry  classic.” 


Sh'i-ye.  “Instructor-sire,”  just  as 
‘ ‘ prince  ” is  wang-ye,  or  ‘ ‘ duke  ” 
kung-ye. 

Shih-hiah.  “Stone  Box.” 

Siccawei.  Zi-ka  Wei,  the  [Paul  Zi 
or]  “Sit  family’s”  place,  (IVei). 

Sore  eyes.  The  old  Hakka  woman 
once  recommended  me  male 
babies’  urine  for  sore  eyes.  There 
is  a large  export  of  this  article, 
in  crystals,  from  Foochow : it 
passes  through  Sir  R.  Hart’s 
Customs. 

Tabu.  The  Chinese  say  hwei  ( = 
avoid),  and  have  a very  com- 
plicated science  on  the  subject, 
popular  and  literary. 

Tai-wbn-kun.  Corean  form  of 
Ta-yiian  Kiin,  “Great  Court 
Prince,”  almost  the  Monsieur  of 
French  Bourbon  days. 

Taois/n.  The  same  word  as  in  the 
“ road  ” of  a taotai. 

T'ao-k'u.  “ Slip-over  pants  ” ; the 
word  k'ti  implies  “breech,”  or 
“saddle-ride.” 

Taotai.  T ai,  or  “ dais,”  is  a word 
appended  to  most  titles  of  address  : 
thus,  ti-t'ai,  “ my  brother  ! ” Too 
is  alike  his  official  designation 
and  the  name  of  the  theoretical 
sub-province  over  which  he  rules. 
The  Cantonese  pronunciation  is 
tou-t'oi\  hence  the  “ old  school  ” 
of  foreigners  often  call  him  the 
“ totoy.” 

Tiffin.  This  Anglo  - Oriental 
(Indian)  word  for  “midday 
meal  ” may  be  said  to  be  now 
in  current  use  at  home ; at  least 
in  certain  circles. 

T'ing-ck'ai.  This  means  “heark- 
to  send,”  or  “await  despatch”; 
it  is  a purely  colloquial  word, 
of  northern  origin. 

Tones.  These  vary  in  practice  from 
a minimum  of  four  (Peking)  to 
a maximum  of  eighteen  (Canton) ; 
in  theory  there  are  lower  (sonants) 


GLOSSARY 


365 


and  higher  (surds)  divisions  of 
four  tones  in  all  dialects. 

Tsip-kdn-t' eng.  “Receive  man- 
darins hustings.” 

Umarniing.  The  German  umar- 
men,  or  “to  round  arm”;  to 
give  the  accolade. 

Umbrellas.  Popular  officials  are 
presented  with  a wan-ming  san, 
or  “ myriad  name  umbrella.” 

Urine.  I ought  perhaps  to  apologise 
for  allowing  this  unpolished 
specimen  of  Tartar-steppe  wit  to 
sully  the  pages  of  Mr.  Murray’s 
book ; but,  as  he  knows,  even 
Shakespeare  condescends  to  tell 
us  what  happens  when  “ some 
folks  hear  the  bagpipes.”  The 
only  difference  is  that  the 
“gassy”  provocation  is  noise 
in  the  Scotch  case,  and  “side” 
in  the  Tartar.  When  I was 
telling  a Manchu  how  I had 
forced  a mandarin  to  open  the 
middle  door  for  me,  he  said, 
eyeing  me  from  head  to  foot 
admiringly:  “You  did  that  to 
the  Tartar-General?”  “I  did, 
indeed,”  said  I ; “and  I would 
do  it  again  to  any  mandarin.” 
“Ah!  ni-ti  niao  pn-siao  \” 
(“  You  have  got  a bladderful ! ”) 

Waising.  “Circuit-names,”  or 
“hall-names.”  The  sport  consists 
in  selecting  a dozen  or  so  out  of 
several  hundred  family  names : 
whoever  guesses  most  “wran- 
glers ” wins  an  enormous  prize. 


Wawa.  Always  “ baby  ” in  Peking, 
but  in  Yun  Nan  and  Sz  Ch'wan 
applied  to  any  “kid,”  or  youngster. 

Wo- hap.  Cantonese  for  ho-hoh, 
“Peaceful  Union;”  or  perhaps 
ho-k'iah,  “ Peaceful  Joy.” 

Yaku.  “ Tooth-huh,”  or  “ ivory 
tablet.” 

Yalu.  “ Duck -green  ” (River). 
This  ancient  word  (Pekingese 
form)  illustrates  how  Cantonese 
and  Corean  best  represent  the 
Chinese  sounds  as  they  existed 
two  thousand  years  ago.  Yah{p)- 
luh{k)  is  the  ancient  or  derivative 
form  ; ap-luk  is  the  modem  Can- 
tonese, and  ap-nok  the  Corean. 

Yo-kang.  Evidently  for  nyo-kang, 
the  Chinese  niao-kang ; mattda 
ex  aere  fusa,  carried  by  Corean 
travellers.  On  my  first  visit  to 
the  Corean  Foreign  Office,  I 
noticed  a row  of  them  at  the 
threshold,  just  as  Japanese  or 
Mussulmans  leave  their  shoes. 
“Men’s  evil  manners  live  in 
brass  ” so  far  as  yo-kangs  go. 

Yotirts.  According  to  the  late  Mr. 
Gilmour,  who  lived  long  among 
the  Mongols,  gir  is  the  proper 
name  for  “felt  tent,”  and  maihan 
for  “ cloth  tent  ” : he  denies  that 
yurta  is  a Mongol  word  at  all. 
The  ancient  Hun-Turkish  word 
for  “felt  tent”  is  iCiung-lu  (in 
its  Chinese  dress),  which  may 
possibly  stand  for  some  such 
sound  as  giur. 


I 


I 


INDEX 


A (in  names),  361 
A-chak,  150 
A-kem,  146-8 
A-lu,  132 
A-no,  21,  133 
A-shem,  148 
A-sz,  15 

Abu  Dakar,  Sultan,  279 
Address,  forms  of,  90 
Adelaide,  47 
Admiral,  Corean,  253 
Admirals,  British,  118 
Admirals,  Chinese,  234,  236, 
241,  260 

Admiralty,  121,  252 
Adoption,  236,  364 
Adoration,  77 

Agenis-provocateurs,  310,  322 
AkMnd%,  184,  361 
Alcock,  Sir  Rutherford,  62 
Alfred,  Prince,  290 
Allied  War  of  1859-60,  170 
Almond  tea,  240 
Amahs,  21,  361 
Ambassadors,  172 
America,  24,  37,  42 
American  experiences,  37,  59 
Americans,  53,  60,  118,  198, 
221,  259,  341 


Amir  of  Afghanistan,  74 
Amoy,  79.  135 
An  Hwei,  198,  238 
Ancestors,  23,  70 
Anderson’s  tea  case,  286 
Andrews,  Mr.  C.,  264 
Annam,  6,  73,  199,  271,  275 

Emperor  of,  75,  272 

Aoki,  Dr.,  221 
Aphrodisiacs,  185 
Arabs,  278,  280 
Arch,  honorary,  352 
Arms,  125,  128 
Arrow  war,  215 
Artillery,  254 
Aspirates,  207 
Audience,  277 
Australia,  45 

Baber,  Mr.  E.  C.,  102,  158,  196, 

334 

“Bags,”  11,361 
Baker,  Sir  S.,  292-4 
Ballantine,  Captain,  274 
Ballarat,  45 
Bangkok,  73,  126 
Banyan  trees,  270,  313,  364 
Baptista,  Father,  14,  200 
Barbados,  150 


367 


368 


INDEX 


“ Barbarian,”  326,  335 
Barbers,  229,  245,  349 
Barristers,  215,  317 
Batavia,  251 
Beal,  Pere,  96 
Beggars,  2,  158,  283,  289 
Bhamo,  12,  56,  81,  82,  140,  194, 
199,  244 

Bigandet,  Bishop,  199 

Birth,  status  by,  254 

Bishops,  87,  190,  199 

Black  Flags,  232,  270,  361 

Blanc,  Pere,  189 

Blettery,  Monsignor,  107,  192 

Blockade  of  Hongkong,  306,  312 

Bo  (tents),  263,  361 

Boards,  Peking,  1 70 

Bocca  Tigris,  124 

Boers,  85,  247 

Bonzes,  18,  23,  209,  222,  362 
Borneo,  280 

“Boxers,”  20,  77,  120,  176,  238 
“Boys,”  15,  19,  33,  56,  130,  275, 
320,  330,  346 
Brabazon,  Captain,  169 
Brazil,  42,  287 
Brenton,  Captain,  R.N.,  118 
Bribes,  53,311 
Bridges,  296 

Brigadier-Generals,  106,  112,236 
British,  251 
Brothers,  361 

Brown,  Mr.  McLeavy,  66,  143, 

307 

Bryson,  Mr.,  207 
“Buddha,  Soft,”  279 
Buddhism,  202,  222 
Buddochinga,  209,  361 
Bugs,  240 

Bullock,  Professor  T.  L.,  231 


Burma,  12,  15,  56,  65,  80,  127 
194,  251,  266,  279,  346,  352 
Burning  the  dead,  23 
Buttons  of  rank,  233,  255 
Byzantine  ceremonies,  78 

Cadoux,  Father,  194-6 
Calcutta,  173 
Calendar,  Chinese,  277 
Calice,  Baron  de,  340 
Canton,  232,  288 
Canton  experiences,  17,  29,  97- 
100,  124,  145-7,  153-6,  175, 
200,  216,  270,  288,  304 

yam&n^  17,  29,  32 

Cantonese,  48,  60,  74 
Captain-General,  145 
Carpenters,  28,  355 
“Cash,”  315 
"Cat-head,”  315,  361 
Cathedral,  96 

Catholics,  Roman,  181,  197,  235 
Chang  Chao-tung,  Governor,  174 
Chang  Chen-toh,  Lieutenant,  97 
Chang  Chi-tung,  174,  215,  248, 
251,  324 

Ch'ang,  General,  230 

Chang  Jen-cheng,  “ Pope,”  68 

Chang  Shu-sheng,  Viceroy,  97, 

237 

Chang  Tao-ling,  Taoist,  68 
Chang  the  Giant,  205 
Ch'ang-an  Sz,  temple,  361 
Chang-chou  Fu,  79 
Chang-erh,  “ boy,”  8,  57,  72,  90, 
103,  109,  1 12,  1 14,  162,  236, 
296,  304,  331,  344,  354,  356 
Ch'angshan,  Tartar  General,  174 
Ch'atao,  town,  183 
Chefoo  Convention,  325 


INDEX 


369 


Cheh  Kiang,  166,  319,  337 
Chemulpho,  9,  84,  120,  177,  189, 
241,  250,  256,  299,  354 
Ch'en,  Captain,  246-8,  342-3 
Ch'en  Lan-pin,  Minister,  42 
Ch'Sngfu,  Director,  309 
Ch'englin,  statesman,  63 
Ch'engtu,  capital,  106 
Chiengmai,  75 
Chih  Li,  170 

China  Inland  Mission,  200 
“ Chinaman,”  361 
Chinamen,  Anglicised,  47 
Chinese  Question,  120,  280 

speakers,  186 

style,  66,  269,  276 

Ching,  Commander,  R.N.,  251 
Chinkiang  experiences,  1-4,  24- 
5,  92-4,  316 
Cholera,  18,  27,  32 
Chou  magistrate,  161 
Chou,  taotai,  341,  342 
Christianity,  182,  201,  203,  219, 
256 

Christians,  native,  99,  loi,  107, 
150.  i57i  180,  184,  191,  201, 
253,  274,  298 
Chu,  taotai,  337,  341 
Ch'un,  Prince,  55,  251,  260 
Chunghou,  envoy,  215,  323 
Chungking,  too,  156,  162,  184, 
202,  217,  237 

Ch'unglun,  statesman,  62,  64 
Cincius,  69 

Civilian  mandarins,  329 
Clerks,  150,  249 

Clothes,  II,  48,  58,  75,  79,  219, 
223-4,  255,  314,  364  {see 

Dress) 

Cocker,  Captain,  27 


Coffins,  23,  72,  103,  169 
Colonies,  Hindoo,  280 
Commissioners  of  Customs,  108, 
109,  1 1 7,  122,  167  {see 

Customs) 

Compensation,  22,  25,  117,  119, 
133,  136,  162,  222-4,  317.  321, 

zyi 

“ Compound,”  362 
“Concessions,”  121 
Concubines,  271 
Confucianism,  67,  208,  214 
Confucius,  67,  69,  71,  170,  225 
Constables,  93,  ill,  133 
Constantinople,  78 
Consulates,  84,  94,  109,  in, 

121,  339 

Consuls,  167,  209,  308 
Consuls,  Chinese,  130,  258 
Coolie  trade,  12,  42,  153 
Coolies,  15,  267,  288,  297,  352 
Corea,  55,  120,  130,  188,  200, 
253,  260,  268,  276,  299,  346 
Corea,  King  (now  Emperor)  of. 

122,  177,  250,  259 
Corpses,  24 
Corvee s,  269 
Coste,  P6re,  189 

Court,  Supreme,  212,  214,  317 
Cremation,  23 
Cuba,  42 

Cuspidores,  168,  362 
Customs  officers,  117,  130,  320 
{see  Commissioners) 

Dacoits,  141,  362 
Danes,  341 

Davenport,  Mr.  A.,  334 
Decouvre,  Pere,  297 
Deer  Island,  254 


24 


370  INDEX 


Deguette,  Pere,  189 
Deli,  42 

Dialects,  ii,  135,  175,  205,  209, 
216,  288,  290,  312,  318,  356 
Diegues,  Father,  14,  87 
Dinners,  168,  238 
Diplomats,  40,  42,  54,  81,  121, 
177.  298,  308,  322 
Disraeli,  B.,  203 
Divi,  87 

Doctors,  4,  218-20,  316 
Dolichos,  212 
Doorkeepers,  331 
Doors  (of  honour),  173,  334 
Dowager-Empress,  86,  177 
Dowell,  Admiral,  118 
Dragons,  30 

Dress,  48,  58,  75,  79,  84,  86,  158, 
190,  219,  239,  255,  278,  31 1, 
330,  364  {see  Clothes) 
Drunkenness,  167,  190 
Dumollard,  196 
Dutch,  44,  55,  81,  279,  280 
Dynasties,  327,  336 
vassal,  79 

Eclipses,  34 
Edinburgh,  Duke  of,  290 
Egypt,  ancient,  169 
Elephants,  77 
Elias,  Mr.  Ney,  163 
Emigration,  280 
Emperor,  21,  173,  177 

of  Annam,  277 

of  China,  77 

of  Japan,  77 

Emperor’s  father,  55 
Empress-Dowager,  86,  177 
English  rule,  44,  80,  199,  280 
Pharisees,  52 


k 

Eructation,  167 
Escorts,  127,  267,  325 
Eunuchs,  76 
Eurasians,  198 
Europeans,  280 
Examinations,  91 
Exclusion  Bill,  53 
Exorcising,  18 
Extradition,  140 

“Facfur,”  King,  21,  108,  362 
Family  Law,  1 50 
Famine,  i 
Fan-fa7i,  362 
Fatalism,  32 
Fati,  village,  125 
Fatshan,  32,  152,  362 
Fees,  150 

Feet,  squeezed,  6,  290,  315 
Feihoo,  gunboat,  27,  362 
Ferdinand,  Prince,  340 
Ferlech,  state,  43 
Ferns,  edible,  22 
Fiji,  47,  80,  197 
Fisher,  Mr.,  287 
Fleet,  Chinese,  120 
Flogging,  95 
Foochow,  166 

experiences,  68  {see  Pa- 
goda Island),  70 
Food,  84,  194,  201 
Foreign  Office,  15,  89 
Foreigners,  confidence  in,  39, 

327 

Forts,  247,  347 
Francis,  Mr.  R.,  287 
French  Ministers,  107,  191-3, 
198 

French  rule,  44,  50,  81,  184,  199, 
280 


INDEX 


371 


French  war,  9,  20,  108,  118 
Frenchmen,  63,  73,  76,  87,  97, 
135,  146,  184,  186,  254,  275, 
297 

Fukienese,  56,  348 
Funerals,  23,  169,  282 
Fusan,  253  {see  Tung-lai) 
Fu-t'ou,  352 

Gaillard,  P6re,  S.J.,  151,  198 
Gambling,  46,  52,  59,  93,  173, 

304.  332 

Gardner,  Mr.  Chris.,  C.M.G.,  169 

Mr.  T.,  231 

Gamier,  Bishop,  198 
Gates,  city,  294 
Genealogies,  70 
Generals,  Chinese,  233 
Gentleman,  Corean,  254  {see 
Nyangpan) 

Gerard,  M.,  87,  198 
Germans,  39,  43,  61,  63,  98,  109, 
118,  221,  228,  251,  280,  287 
Gharries,  201 
Gill,  Captain,  32,  344 
Goitre,  62 

Gordon,  General,  117,  177 
Gorges,  236,  328 
Government,  British,  218 
Governor  of  Hongkong,  308, 

350 

Granville,  Lord,  95,  122 
Graves,  340 

Gray,  Archdeacon,  4,  288 
Gros,  Baron,  169 
Grosvenor,  Hon.  T.  G.,  334 
Grundy,  Mr.  and  Mrs.,  293 
Guiana,  150,  153 
Gunboats,  118,  120,  251,  258, 
262,  286 


Hainan  {see  Hoihow) 

Haiphong,  248 

Hakkas,  5,  17,  46,  54,  146,  362 

Hamilton,  Mr.,  287 

Han,  convert,  180 

Hance,  Dr.  H.  F.,  Ph.D.,  175, 

185,  350 

Hanabusa,  Minister,  250 
Hankow,  90,  205,  286 
Hanoi,  73,  75,  199,  270 
Harems,  85 
" Harry’s  ” hotel,  130 
Hart,  Sir  Robert,  65,  115,  117, 
1 19,  130,  306 
Hassan,  Prince,  81 
Hats,  255,  291,  297 
Hawaii,  {see  Honolulu) 

Hayllar,  Mr.  T.,  K.C.,  318 
Head-dresses,  3,  ii,  74,  255 
Hennessy,  Sir  John  Pope,  294, 
308,  312 

Hia,  the  akhUnd,  184 
Hideyoshi,  253 

Hien  officials,  102,  104,  no,  113, 
1 19,  233,  239,  31 1,  326 
Hien-feng,  Emperor,  170 
Hindoos,  76,  279-80 
Ho  King,  the  Viceroy,  166 
Ho  Nan,  172 

Ho  Tsin-shen,  Admiral,  234 
Hoihow,  10,  87,  241 

experiences,  14,  198,  200, 

217.  247.  335.  338 

Hongkew  (“  Rainbow  Mouth  ”), 
198 

Hongkong,  50,  140,  155,  164, 
196,  209,  210,  251,  294,  307 

press,  99 

Honolulu,  48,  53,  280 
Hope,  Captain,  R.N.,  118 


372 


INDEX 


Hoppo,  175,  306,  362 
Horse-dealers,  264,  313 
Hoshi  Toru,  Mr.,  215 
Hospitals,  198 
Hour,  Chinese,  36 
House-boats,  316 
Houses,  85,  278 
Howqua,  215,  289 
Hu  Nan,  174,  208,  234 
Hu  Peh  experiences,  5,  70,  90, 
267 

Hue,  Abb6,  221 
Hu6,  75,  271,  275 
Husbands,  Chinese,  47,  49,  54 
Hii  family,  36 

Governor,  166-8 

Hvvai,  river,  163,  319 
Hwaitapu,  statesman,  169 
Hvvei-sing,  the  bonze,  209,  362 

Ibrahim,  Sultan,  279 
Ichang,  236,  329 
227 

Immorality,  51 
India,  78,  164 

Viceroy  of,  74 

Indian  army,  247 

Government,  42,  81,  196 

Indo-China,  51  (see  Annam, 
Tonquin,  etc.) 

Inland  Mission,  China,  200 
Inns,  159,  161,  183,  329 
Insan,  189  (see  Chemulpho) 
Irishmen,  13,  31 1 
Irishwomen,  45 
Irrawaddy,  141 
Islam,  203 

Italians,  46,  1 10,  113,  115,  116, 
1 1 8,  222 
Italy,  1 81 


Jack  the  boatman,  243,  358 
Jack-tars,  ii8 

Januario,  H.E.  Governor,  125 
Japan,  251 

Japanese,  53,  55,  84,  120,  129, 
176,  207,  216,  221,  244,  250, 
259,  268,  276,  354 

types,  81 

Java,  280 
Jehol,  170 

Jesuits,  36,  87,  15 1,  197,  202,  340 

Jews,  180,  182 

John,  Rev.  G„  235 

Johnson,  Dr.,  182,  203 

Johore,  279 

Joseph,  273 

Joss,  362 

Jumbo,  274 

Jungle,  194 

Junks,  349 

Junk  Ceylon,  78 

Jurisdiction,  135 

Justice,  136 

Jweilin,  Viceroy,  125,169-71,  186 

Kachyns,  83,  84-6,  127,  194  6, 
266 

Kalakaua,  King,  53,  55 
Kan  Suh,  183 
Kanakas,  362 
K'ang  (couch),  275,  362 
Kavass  (messenger),  362 
Kerosene,  15,  no 
Ketteler,  Baron  von,  too 
Kewkiang,  90,  174,  285,  320 
Khaw  (Hii)  family,  36 
Kiang  Nan,  198 

Si,  174,  286 

Su,  166,  198 

Kidnapping,  5 


INDEX 


373 


Kienlung,  Emperor,  63,  68 
Kienshi,  city,  70 
K'i-k'ou,  port,  347 
Kin  Cho-an  (Johan),  184 
King  {see  Emperor) 

King  of  England,  338 
Kipling,  Mr.  R.,  294 
Kissing,  63 

Klings,  42,  57,  273,  362  {see 
Tamils,  Madrassis) 

Koh-si  Chang,  island,  126 
Kopsch,  Mr.  H.,  167 
JCoi  plant,  212,  219 
Kotow,  II,  34,  77,  79,  363 
Kovvloong,  306 
Koyander,  Mr.,  324 
Kra,  78 

Kublai  Khan,  2i,  70,  108 
Kung,  Prince,  62,  65,  144,  230 
Kupeh  K'ou,  229,  363 
K'wa-tsz  (boat),  363 
Kwang  Si,  174 

Kwang  Tung  {see  Canton, 
Cantonese) 

Kwang-su,  reign,  174 
Kwei  Chou,  184,  200,  266,  296 
K'wei  Kwan,  328 
Kweisiang,  statesman,  65 
Kvvochang,  Men  magistrate,  104 
Kwok  A-cheong,  309 

Labour  Question,  48,  54 
Ladies,  Chinese,  290 
Lagr6e  mission,  82 
Lamas,  68,  263 

Lang,  Admiral  (Capt.),  R.N.,  240, 
251 

Langshun,  state,  79 
Language,  Annamese,  76,  199, 
272 


Language,  Chinese,  207 
Lao  Vinh-phuc,  232 
Lappa,  306 

Law,  156,  215,  249,  269,  307 
“ Law,”  Mr.,  206 
Lawyers,  38,  216,  317,  362 
Lees,  Rev.  Jonathan,  180 
Legge,  Dr.,  219 
Lew,  Old,  143 
Li  dynasty,  271 
Li  Han-chang,  248,  334,  336 
Li  Hung-chang,  63,  86,  97,  163-5, 
178,  214,  241,  248,  333 
Likin,  129,  174,  285 
Limoges,  Count  of,  168 
Ling  A-luk,  205 
Literates,  92,  335 
Little,  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Archibald, 

151 

Liu  K'un-yih,  Viceroy,  31,  53, 
86,  174-6,  186,  236,  286,  307, 
322 

Livadia,  323 

Lo  Pao-chi,  107,  184,  191,  193 
Lockhart,  Hon.  J.  Stewart,  212 
Logan,  100 
Lolos,  158 

London  Chinamen,  205-6 
Lotteries,  304 
Lu,  Old,  216 
Lii  Shan,  285 
! Luang-Prabang,  73 
: Lunatics,  8,  356 
Lung-hu  Shan,  68,  363 
Lungts'uan,  city,  127 

Ma  Chung,  General,  82 
Ma  Fu-ch'u,  82 
Ma  Teh-hing,  82 
Maatschappij,  43,  363 


374 


INDEX 


Macao,  6,  42,  60,  96,  99,  124, 

173.  304 

Macartney,  Lord,  63 
Macgowan,  Dr.  D.  J.,  iio,  113, 

115 

McKean,  Mr.,  barrister,  317 
Macpherson,  49 

Mr.  Alexander,  42 

Madrassis  {see  Klings),  79 
Mafu  (“  horse-man  ”),  268 
Malays,  79,  278 
Male,  141 

Malet,  Sir  E.  B.,  285 
Ma-mwi,  9,  19,  363 
Manchus,  64,  70,  164,  172,  253, 
308,  31 1,  322,  327,  362 
Mandalay,  12,  270,  275 
Mandarin  trade,  166,  246,  326, 
328,  341,  363 
Manila,  50,  134,  136,  251 
Manzi,  172 

Margary,  Mr.  A.  R.,  325 
Marines,  122 
Marriages,  5,  7,  13,  282 
Maru  (“steamer”),  363 
Matin,  state  of,  140 
Mayers,  Mr.  W.  F.,  351 
Mayors,  92 
Mecca,  82,  83 
Medicine,  221,  316,  364 
Melbourne,  47 
Mencius,  69 

Mentha  ("prince”),  363 
Mergui,  35 
Miao-tsz,  265 
Military,  British,  210 

Chinese,  232-40,  329 

Milner,  Lord,  359 
Miners,  45 

Ming  dynasty,  253,  256,  327 


Ming-manh,  "Emperor,” or  King, 
272 

Ministers,  174,  214 
Mint,  170 

Missionaries,  12,  61,  64,  105, 
107,  IIS,  180,  186,  189,  225, 

254.  338 

Missio7is  Etrangeres,  188,  198, 
200,  297 

Moellendorff,  Mr.  P.  G,  von,  189, 

193 

Mogok,  141 

Momein,  142 

Mongan,  Consul,  70 

Mongol  rulers,  71,  239,  263,  327 

Mongolia,  345 

Mongols,  263 

Mora,  game,  169,  363 

Morality,  51,  63 

Mothers,  8,  306,  346 

Mourning,  189 

Mules,  296 

Mundy,  Mr.,  124 

Municipalities,  149 

Muonglai,  state,  73 

Muongpo,  state,  83 

Muongs,  the,  72 

Murder,  129,  140,  245 

“Murders,”  22,  131,  134 

Music,  78,  266 

Mussulmans,  65,  81,  105,  151, 
183-5,  191.  193.  238 

Nails,  of  hand,  63 
Names,  69,  71,  75,  363 
Namhoi,  147,  152 
Namoa,  piracy  of,  137 
Nampaung,  station,  142 
Nanchang  Fu,  286 
Nanking,  176 


INDEX 


375 


Nan-p'i  city,  324 
Nantabet  river,  127 
Navies,  local,  97,  112,  240,  251 
Navy,  British,  271 
Neumann,  Mr.  Julius,  248 
New  Caledonia,  55 
Newcastle,  256,  260 
New  Year,  147,  277,  361 
New  Zealand,  47 
Ng  Choy,  Mr.,  215  {see  VVu 
T'ing-fang) 

Nguyen  dynasty,  271 
Nien  Fei,  rebels,  238,  363 
Nijni  Novgorod,  363 
Nine  Gates,  145 

Ningpo,  1 16, 1 18,  170,  206,  222-4, 

356 

Nobles,  Annamese,  275,  276 
Noyes,  Rev.  H.  V.,  292 
Nunn,  Joshua,  93 
Nuns,  8 

Nyattgpajt  (“  two  court-sets  ”), 
254 

Oaths,  161,  212 
Ocean  men,  284 
O’Conor,  Sir  Nicholas,  122 
Opium,  20,  33,  43,  46,  52,  53, 
176,  209,  238,  304,  310,  325, 
331.  337-  341-  343.  345.  353 
O’Toole,  family,  13-5,  201 
Ow,  Old,  149,  208-10,  217 

Pagoda  Island  experiences,  27, 
70,  131,  134,  241,  34S,  357 
Pagodas,  352,  363 
Pahang,  state,  280 
Paho,  town,  90 
Pakhoi,  74,  345 
Palace,  Annamese,  77,  277 


Palikao,  Count  de,  169 
Panthays,  65,  81,  363 
Paoyiin,  statesman,  63 
Parkes,  Sir  Harry,  108,  1 17,  215, 
217,  299 
Parlac,  state,  43 
Parthia,  78 

Pashang-ku,  station,  265 
Passports,  230,  293,  325 
Peit  ang,  port,  347 
P'ei  Yin-sen,  Commissioner,  19 
Peking,  39,  144,  284,  327 
Pekingese,  39,  56,  209 
Pelchd,  officer,  363 
Penang,  80,  198,  251 
Pencil  chat,  255,  275 
P'eng,  Colonel,  94 

taotai,  185 

Yiih-lin,  Admiral,  236 

Perera,  Senor,  135 
Persia,  78 
Persian  types,  8 1 
Peru,  42 

Phaulcon,  Constantine,  35 
Philology,  287 
Philosophers,  69,  85 
Philosophy,  68 
Photographs,  165,  185 
Pickpockets,  144 
“ Pidjin,”  287,  343,  349,  364 
Pigs.  338.  339 

Pigtails,  46,  56,  80,  219,  297,  333, 

336.  364 

Pirates,  98,  124,  127 
Plague,  196 

Pocock,  Captain,  138,  243 
Poetry,  34,  62,  21 1,  225,  266, 
278 

Poles,  carrying,  126 
Police,  326 


376 


INDEX 


Politeness,  209,  289,  296 
Polo,  Marco,  21,  43,  108 
Pontu,  state,  85 
Pope,  the,  87,  1 8 1,  202,  340 
“ Pope,”  Mussulman  (see  Ma 
Fu-ch'u) 

Taoist,  69 

Pork,  134,  183 

Portuguese,  5,  88,  99,  iii,  201, 
280 

Postmaster-General,  1 54 
Post-ofBce,  146,  153 
“ Potted  ” ancestors,  23,  24,  28 
Poyang,  lake,  285 
Presents,  88,  147,  166 
Priests,  Buddhist,  112 

foreign,  51  (see  Jesuits, 

Roman  Catholics,  etc.) 

Prince,  Burmese,  246,  363 
Princess,  Annamese,  271-2 
Prisons,  55 
Processions,  282 
Proclamations,  335,  352 
Protectorates,  278,  281 
Protestant  missions,  54,  99,  103, 
199,  342  (see  China  Inland) 
Proverbs,  236 
Provinces,  Eighteen,  164 
Prussia,  65 
Pusan,  port,  253 

Quelpaert,  253 

Rain-coats,  22 
Rajahs,  35,  78 

Rangoon,  58,  81,  140,  199, 

273 

Rams,  City  of,  290,  364 
Rapids,  236,  349 


Rats,  157,  209 

Rebellions  (see  " Boxers, 
Taipings),  65,  170 
Red  boats,  236 
Reform,  173 

Religion,  67,  18 1,  203-4,  316 
Renoung,  state,  35,  78 
Riots,  92-1 14,  121 
Jiiver  of  Golden  Sand,  344 
Roads,  24 

Robertson,  Sir  Brooke,  17,  i6g, 
186,  215,  219,  289,  350 
Roman  Catholics,  14,  51,  88,  102, 
107,  108,  157,  192,  340  (see 
Priests,  Jesuits,  etc.) 

Rome,  78,  270,  309 

Rossel,  M.,  87 

Ruby  Mines,  141 

Russia,  19,  55,  174,  177,  262,  280, 

341 

Russian  experiences,  39,  63,  231, 
259 

Sacrifices,  56,  80 
Sadler,  Mr.,  207 
Sah,  Captain,  261 
Sailors,  Chinese,  348 
Sai-ts'iu,  village,  364 
Salt,  129,  296,  306,  319 
Salutes,  242,  259,  261 
Sampan,  364 
Sampson,  Mr.  Theo.,  150 
Samsah  inlet,  348 
San  Francisco,  153 
Santos,  Pedro  de  los,  134 
Scotch,  49.  55.  235 

Scotchmen,  116 
Seals,  246 

Sedan-chairs,  90,  168,  192,  267, 
283,  297,  352,  355 


INDEX 


377 


Sefan,  state,  83 
Sengmuyu,  orphanage,  197 
Seward,  Hon.  W.  H.,  284 
Shamien,  18,  29,  152,  155 
Shan  chiefs,  140 
Shan  Si  Chinese,  41,  237 
Shan  states,  73 
Shan  Tung,  237 

Shanghai,  10,  53,  ill,  1 16,  162, 
198,  206,  316 
Shasi,  port,  19 
Shek-vvan,  town,  32,  364 
Shen  Kwei-fen,  statesman,  63 
S/ii,  the  word,  69,  87,  364 
Shibartai,  station,  264 
Shifting  Scenes,  285 
Shih  Leh,  Emperor,  209 
Shih-hiah,  town,  229,  364 
Shi-King,  364 
Shipping,  150 
Shi-ye,  364 
Shooting,  316 
Shui-ying,  station,  253 
Siam,  79,  200,  251,  279 
Siam  experiences,  34-6,  78-80 
Siamese,  73 
Siao-lan,  town,  166 
Siccawei,  197,  199 
Silver,  353 
Sima,  post,  85 

Singapore,  12,  50,  80,  201,  241, 
279.  337 
Singing,  266 

Singpho,  194  (see  Kachyns) 

Sit,  Mr.,  152 
Skatschkoff,  Consul,  70 
Skin  diseases,  317 
Sladen,  82 

Slave  trade  (see  Coolie  trade) 
Slaves,  56,  150,  249 


Smale,  Judge,  150 
Smith,  Mr.  F.  P.,  30 
Smuggling,  129,  306,  31 1,  319 
Snakes,  195 
Snobbism,  86 
Snubs,  334 
Societies,  secret,  80 
Soldiers,  93,  115,  118,  230,  232- 
40,  244-6,  329 
Somerville,  Dr.,  70 
Soothill,  Rev.  W.  E.,  109 
Soul,  250,  256,  259,  262,  268, 
299.  354 

South  Seas,  251,  281 
Spaniards,  50,  81,  134,  212, 
280 

Spark  piracy,  94,  124 
Spectacles,  145,  219 
Sport,  316 

Squeezes,  249,  257,  309,  341 
Staunton,  Sir  George,  63 
Stead,  Mr.,  359 
Steamers,  125,  132 
Stewart,  Captain,  98 
Straits,  The,  279 
Students,  91 
Siian-hwa  Fu,  263 
Sugar,  53 

Suicides,  19,  21,  83,  250,  252 
Suite,  282  (see  Processions) 
Suliman,  Sultan,  82 
Sumatra,  43,  279 
Summers,  Dr.  J.,  49,  207 
Sung  dynasty,  327 
Superstition,  61,  105,  316 
Swatow,  9,  II,  12,  32,  44 
Sydney,  47 

Sz  Ch'wan  experiences,  32-4, 
100-4,  156-8,  191,  200,  237 
313,  325,  328-30,  351 


3/8 


INDEX 


Ta  Ts'ing  dynasty,  336 
Tabu,  21 1,  364 
Taipings,  3,  5,  24,  97 
Tai-vvon-kun,  177,  250,  364 
Takeda,  Mr.,  207 
Taku,  347 
Tali  Fu,  81 

Tamils  {see  Klings),  346 
Tanaka,  Dr.,  120,  221 
T'ang  dynasty,  327 
Tanka  people,  266 
T'ao,  General,  94 
Taoism,  67,  202,  364 
TaotaiSy  25,  88,  102,  1 13,  167, 
185,  248,  330,  335,  337-43 
Tartar  Generals,  174 
Tartars,  227,  336  {see  Manchus, 
Mongols,  etc.) 

Tea  taxes,  286 
Teachers,  205-7,  222-4 
Telegraph,  122,  141,  302 
Temples,  23,  108,  118,  192,  222, 
273,  279,  296,  342 
Teng,  Captain,  122,  256 
Tennasserim,  140 
Termoz,  Monsignor,  87 
Thieving,  146,  148,  1 51,  156,  159, 
274 

Thirteen  Hongs,  148 
Thomson,  Mr.  J.,  165 
Thurston,  Governor,  80 
Tibetans,  194 

Tidewaiters,  109,  no  {see 
Customs  officers) 

T'ien,  Old,  143 

Tsai-t'ien,  237-9 

Tientsin,  70,  163,  180,  259,  340, 
344 

Tieu  Van-tri,  73 
Tiffin,  364 


Tim  the  thief,  148 
Ting,  Admiral,  177,  241,  250, 
260 

Pao-cheng,  Viceroy,  106 

T'mg-ch'ais,  16,  32,  93,  too,  109, 
H2,  127,  131,  141,  244,  293, 
331.  354-  364 
Tipao,  92 
" Tips,”  89 
Tirant,  M.,  73 
Tobacco  plantations,  43 
Tokyo,  260 

Tombs,  Imperial,  229,  272 
Tones,  207,  208,  266,  272,  364 
Tongkah,  state,  78 
Tonquin,  191,  270 

experiences,  72,  199 

Torai,  253  {see  Tung-lai) 
Tornado,  17,  29 
Torture,  153,  178 
Tourane,  75 
Trang,  state,  79 
Transit-passes,  14 
Transmigration  of  souls,  68 
Travelling-boats,  127 
Ts'en  Yiih-ying,  Governor  and 
Viceroy,  82,  334 
Tseng,  family,  69,  71 

Marquess,  71,  176 

Kwoh-fan,  Viceroy,  236 

Kwoh-tsu'an,  Governor  and 

Viceroy,  176 
Ts'ingt'ien,  city,  127 
Tso  Tsung-t'ang,  Viceroy,  236 
Tsung-li  Vamen,  62,  106,  143, 
231 

Tu  Wen-siu,  Sultan,  82 
Tung  Sun,  statesman,  62 
T'ungchow,  170 
Tungkadu,  school,  ig8 


INDEX 


379 


Tunglai,  253 

Tunis,  289 

Turkish  types,  81 

Turks,  78,  266 

Tusewei,  establishment,  197 

Tzic-erh-chi,  207 

Umbrellas,  313,  351,  365 
Uncles,  152,  153 
Underwood,  Dr.,  132 
Uniform,  137,  283 
United  States,  285 
Urine,  335,  364,  365 
Ussuri  Province,  55 

Vatican,  202 
Vegetarians,  346 
Viceroys,  209,  282 
Violence  to  Chinese,  333 
Visits,  official,  137,  241,  260, 
343 

Wade,  Sir  Thomas,  62,  64,  143, 
163,  172,  186,  207,  334 
Wages,  45,  48 
Waising  lottery,  173,  365 
Wall,  Great,  263 
Wallays,  Very  Rev.  P6re, 
199 

Wang  Wen-shao,  Viceroy,  140 
Wang-erh,  t'ing-ch'ai,  32,  104, 
296,  344.  352 

War,  second,  65,  215,  344 
Washermen,  37,  273,  362 
Washerwomen,  354 
Wawa,  57,  273,  365 
Weeping,  169 
Wei-hai  Wei,  250 


Wenchow  experiences,  21,  68, 
108-16,  127-9,  168,  222,  299, 

331 

Wensiang,  statesman,  67,  171 
Whampoa,  188 
Wharfs,  365 
"Whiffles,”  287 
Widowers,  Corean,  189 
Widows,  352 
Wine,  194,  196,  297 
Winnington-Ingram,  Rt.  Rev. 
Dr.,  290 

^.Vo-hap,  mine,  365 
Women,  5,  9,  13,  20,  53,  74,  112, 
248,  290,  306 

white,  46,  49,  333 

old,  loi,  1 19,  136,  289, 

314 

Japanese,  130,  346,  354 

Wong,  Dr.,  218-20 
Writers,  140 

Writing,  Chinese,  38,  61,  96,  161, 
179,  214,  249,  253,  269,  275, 
335.  338 

Wu  T'ang,  Viceroy,  238 
Wu  T'ing-fang,  215  {see  Ng 
Choy) 

Wuchang,  90 
Wu-ch'wan,  city,  295 
Wuhu,  198 

Xavier,  St.  Francis,  5,  201 

Yahu,  tablet,  365 

Yalu  river,  365 

Yamen,  Canton,  152,  323 

Yang  Yiih-k'o,  General,  82 

Yankowsky,  Captain,  19 

Yarns,  300 

Yeh,  Captain,  260 


380 


INDEX 


Yeh,  Viceroy,  173 
Yellow  jacket,  250 
Yellow  race,  45,  270 

River,  163 

Yinghan,  Viceroy,  171-3 
Yokang,  190,  365 
Yourts,  263,  365 


Yuan  Slii-k'ai,  Resident  and 
Governor,  13 1,  177-9,  250 
Yun  Nan,  56,  82,  184,  233-5 
Yiin-nan  Fu,  82 
Yunnanese,  56,  57,  157 

Zaitun,  79 


Printed  by  Hazellt  IVaison  <S*  Viney^  Ld.,  London  and  Aylesbury, 


